Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Cheeze Whiz or any associated fictional, purple characters. I should also add that the idea for this story is Mirrowlins, and I'm just writing it.

Sirius Black has come back as a zombie, on the hunt for "brains.brains."

Harry: Sirius! You're back! You.look like a zombie.

Sirius: Hello Harry! Don't worry about the zombie-ish appearance, you can trust me! Use your delicious brain. to trust me.

Harry: Uh. I'm walking away. go bother Hagrid.

10 minutes later.

Sirius: Hell-ooo Hagrid. you look healthy today.nice large half-giant body. giant-sized brain.

Hagrid: I hate zombies!

Sirius: You fool! You can't harm the undead! Give me your brain.

Hagrid: OUT! (expletive deleted) zombies.

Sirius (on the hunt for some brains): Dumbledore! You're a big smart wizard! A good brain.

Dumbledore: Thank you. You- arghh!

Sirius: Brains.brains.

Dumbledore: Eat magic, Sirius! Avada Kadavra!

Sirius: You're trying to kill me with your magic?! You're more stupid than I thought. your brain must be tiny. Where's Hermione or someone?

Dumbledore: Hermione is in chemistry, two floors down and the first door on your left.

Sirius: Thanks.brains.

Dumbledore: (thinking) that was quite genious of me, wasn't it. brilliant, in fact! I am the best, smartest person ever! Bwahhaha!

Sirius: I am on the hunt for brains..There's hermione! Hermione explodicus! That's good brains.

A medal of honor to anyone who can count how many times I said the words "brain" and "brains", total. Including that last sentence I just made.