Knights and Eros Bound
Chapter 29
The pyre, like the sun, had burned throughout the day and as the sunlight faded into the horizon, the last of Gris Chevel's mortal remains passed with it.
None of them had openly wept. Kampher had prayed softly to herself while Schurke was often found staring into the fire, hollow-eyed and lost. Only Anakin had remained outwardly stoic, burying his grief beneath a mask of concern for his two companions.
Grief, and rage.
Inwardly, he fought with his own inner demons.
He's always there!
No. It wasn't possible.
Always there…
No. Gris had been mad at the end…
I don't want to hurt you!
I won't fail again…
Anakin ran his hands over his face. This wasn't the time to think about such things.
She took her own life…
ENOUGH!
Anakin barely managed to suppress the urge to cry out as a gentle hand touched his shoulder.
"Anakin," Kam's voice entered his consciousness like a soothing balm. "Are you all right?" She was pale, and her eyes were red from unshed tears, but her voice was steady and soft.
Anakin took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he pulled himself together. Gris was gone; it was time to move forward. He had to.
"We should go," Kampher said in that same soft voice. "There's nothing more we can do."
Anakin nodded his assent and they slowly wandered over to where Schurke stood, looking for all the world like one of the mourning statues on Naboo. Kampher was the first to approach him with footsteps as light as snowfall. She took his hand and carefully led him away from the fire.
"It's time to go, Schurke," she told him quietly. "We've said goodbye…"
Schurke nodded wearily, his eyes still distant and his face pale yet he followed Kam's lead without complaint or comment. It was only when they finally returned to the ship that Schurke seemed to come back to himself a little. He made sure Kampher was secured in a bunk, insisting that he and Anakin could handle things from there, and then joined Anakin as the co-pilot.
They made their way easily through the perfunctory traffic control and into space with their conversation restricted to only the necessities of space travel. Anakin knew that Schurke wanted to talk about something, but he would wait until his friend was ready to open up.
At last, upon clearing the main atmospheric traffic and after checking on Kampher (who had quickly fallen into an exhausted sleep) Shurke approached Anakin.
"I'm not going back," he announced abruptly. "I think it's time for me to move on."
"I can't see a reason ever to return to that hell hole anyway," Anakin agreed, although he knew that Schurke wasn't referring to Ord Mantel.
"I'm asking Kam to come with me," Schurke continued, as if he hadn't heard. "I'm tired, Toboo. I want to start a new life. I'm tired of losing my friends to death. Senseless death…" he trailed off, becoming distant, but Anakin understood.
"I will wish you well, Schurke." Anakin said softly. "And I envy you…"
"Why don't you go then, Anakin?" Schurke asked him. "Take the Senator and leave. Settle down someplace and raise a family…"
Anakin sighed and lowered his head. "I… I can't…" he said at last. "Padmé is too devoted to her cause… she would never…" Now it was Anakin's turn to trail off, lost in thought. It wasn't just Padmé anymore…
"Take me to Alderaan" Anakin said thoughtfully. "There are enough Jedi there where we wouldn't be noticed. If Kam will consent, which I know she will…"
Schurke smiled for the first time in days. "You have a true heart, Toboo," he said. "Are you sure your father wasn't some Corellian soldier?" This remark elicited laughter from both of them, waking Kampher at last.
"What are you two laughing about?" Kampher asked sleepily from her bunk. "Share the joke?"
Schurke cast Anakin a look. "Wish me luck," he said quietly, but Anakin only smiled and shook his head. He motioned for Schurke to go back to her and then returned to the business of piloting the ship and setting a course for Alderaan.