Title: Courage
Author: Jeanine (jeanine@iol.ie)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sara/Warrick
Feedback: Makes my day
Disclaimer: If it was in the show, it's not mine.
Archive: At my site Checkmate () , Fanfiction.net; anywhere else, please ask.
Summary: Sara finds her courage
Notes: For the LiveJournal CSReports "Free for all" challenge – I went back to Tragically Hip titles. This is, by popular demand, a sequel to my other TH challenge response, Scared.
***
Sara's always heard that courage is knowing you're scared, but doing whatever has to be done anyway.
By that definition, she's pretty brave, because she's been scared ever since she felt the ground rushing up to meet her as her ears rang to gunfire, has been even more scared since she felt Warrick's familiar weight atop her, unmoving, pushing him off to find his shirt stained red.
Not screaming out loud, not holding onto him and begging him not to leave her took more self-control than she knew she had; not breaking down in the hospital took more, but she really knows she's in trouble when she escapes outside and Nick follows her.
A cigarette she can't smoke is in her hand, and explaining its presence loosens her tongue, so she ends up telling Nick everything, crying on his shoulder as he tells her words she's too afraid to believe.
Then they come inside to wait some more, and when the doctor comes, tells them that Warrick is going to be fine, it's Nick who insists, ignoring the puzzled looks of Catherine and Grissom, that Sara should be let see him first.
She too ignores the curious looks, instead summoning all her courage, following the doctor into Warrick's room, biting back a gasp when she sees him, lying almost unrecognisable in a nest of tubes and machines. She sinks into a chair beside his bed, holds his hand, wanting to talk to him, unable to find her voice.
For over an hour, she alternates between watching the clock and watching him, and she leans forward when his eyes flicker, saying his name, telling him where he is, that he's going to be fine.
It's some minutes before he can talk in a croaky whisper. "You look worse than I feel," he says, and she laughs despite herself. "Are you-?"
She nods quickly, hastening to reassure him. "I'm fine… you were the only one who…" She can't say it, looks away, and he squeezes her hand. "I'm fine," she says again. Then, thinking of what she said to Nick, she continues with, "I love you."
She never would have guessed that this is how she'd say those words for the first time, nor would she have guessed his reaction. "I know," he says. "I love you too."
Courage has taken her this far; now she goes one step further. "I'm pregnant," she whispers, and she's surprised when he smiles; again, not the reaction she expected.
"I know."
Her jaw drops. "How?"
"I know you… noticed the symptoms…" His voice is fading, his eyes drooping, but he is smiling. "Was hoping…"
With her free hand, she touches his face. "Go to sleep," she whispers. "We'll talk about this later."
"Happy about it…" he mumbles, and then he is asleep.
Sitting back in her chair, Sara keeps hold of his hand, rests the other one on her stomach. Smiling, she closes her eyes, and in moments, she too is asleep.