Title:
Victim of Desire
Disclaimer: I don't own these boys. I would make good use of them though if I
did.
Credit: Billy Joel's- Don't Ask me Why (Titles taken from the lyrics)
Summary: In this fic Ryan and Seth have an established relationship that no one
knows about. They also have their canon relationships that we all unfortunately
know about. With all the love triangles going around what will become of Ryan
and Seth?
A/N: New chapter --Seth's POV. Ryan is out of sight -but is he out of mind?
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Seth Cohen tapped his foot to the beat and tried hard not to
bob his head. Life was hard enough, without ruining what little rep he had by
dancing. Ryan might have left but Anna was still here. She'd probably seen
every move he had - but what was to be humored in private was often times
shunned in public. Seth had learned that lesson many times over.
"Chick, isn't the drummer totally hot?" Summer asked Anna excitedly.
"What?" Anna shouted above the music.
Summer linked her arm through Anna's and leaned over to shout. "I
SAID..."
Seth stopped listening. He tried to focus on the lyrics, the L.V.'s bitchin
guitar, the drummer's indeed hotness. But his eyes kept drifting to the left
-where Marissa danced as if no one were watching. Oliver stood beside her,
every now and then placing his hand on the small of her back and whispering
something in her ear.
Seth knew that it shouldn't upset him. If anything he should be tickled pink.
He didn't want Marissa with Ryan. In truth, seeing their union made him feel
ill. It made him feel like someone had stolen his favorite mint condition comic
and rolled it up and shoved it in their back pocket. But if Seth were being
fair (which was totally overrated) that wasn't the case. If playground rules
were in effect - Marissa had seen Ryan first.
But he digressed...
Seeing Marissa "flirt" with Oliver made him angry. It made him angry
because it was just wrong. She was already a part of "Marissa and
Ryan". A mere four months into the school year and they were a super couple.
Seth had no doubt they would be featured in numerous yearbook pics. He knew he
would be lucky if his arm snuck in a couple. Or perhaps (and more like) a
wayward curl might mar a corner edge. He'd never be in focus. How dare Marissa
throw that away? If it were Seth and Ryan, in living color, his two timing (or
was it three timing) days would be over.
"Earth to Cohen" Summer snapped, beautifully manicured hand waving in
his face. "Come in Cohen".
"Huh? What? His hair is too curly." Seth tried to cover for his lack
paying attention. He pulled his eyes away from where Marissa was now wildly
clapping. But not before he saw Oliver see the midriff her enthusiam exposed.
"What?" Anna questioned confused. Then changed her expression to
alarmed when she caught on that he was talking about the drummer.
"Go get us more Dews please" Summer ordered oblivious.
Seth sighed. He rewed the day Summer and Anna became so chummy. It seemed like
more and more they were attached at the hip. How had that happened again? Why?
If he didn't know better he'd think he wasn't the only one hiding something.
Shaking his head he chalked that dream off to wishful thinking. This wasn't
Queer as Folk or some Smallville fanfiction where anyone and everyone was gay.
He may be and Ryan was --but hell even they didn't do a very good job of it.
"Three Mountain Dews please" Seth shouted once he reached the bar.
The bartender rolled his eyes and stalked off to the other end of the bar. Seth
ignored him good naturely. The guy would probably make shit tips tonight no
matter how many times Robert Carmine reminded the teens to tip their Waitstaff.
"Hey!" Anna said, poking him in the side to get his attention.
"Need any help?"
He needed plenty of help. More than she could offer, so he nodded in the
negative.
"So when are you going to tell the big secret?" She asked leaning her
head on his arm and fluttered her eyelashes in what he assumed was supposed to
be endearing.
The bartender returned with the tall green drinks. Seth needed to get Ryan to
send away for fake ID's from Chino. A stiff drink would do him good right about
now.
"What secret?" he squeaked defensively.
Anna raised her eyebrow again. "You know...the one about you and.."
"Hey where did Ryan go?" Luke shouted unneccesarily, coming up beside
the couple.
"He left." Seth explained in an equally comical loud voice.
"What? Man why would he do that? I'm having a great time." Luke threw
his hands in the air flashing the rock love.
Well I'm glad someone is, Seth thought. He had really thought tonight would be
fun. Rooney wasn't his favorite band but it beat another night of stupid video
games. Oh God, did he just think that? These women were poisoning his
mind.
An hour later the show was over and the gang was all lined up outside
discussing the car situation. Summer decided to ride home with Luke, Marissa
and Oliver.
Anna slammed the door behind her and stared out the window. "So I guess it
is just you and me "Cohen", not that anyone could tell."
Seth knew he deserved her anger. He had told her he would fess up tonight. Was
it really her fault that their secret wasn't the one he wanted to tell?
"Anna I'm sorry."
Turning in her seat as he started the car Anna began to interogate. "Why
won't you tell them? Why won't you tell her? Does Ryan at least know?"
Well yeah of course... "Anna"
"Tell me the truth Seth." Anna demanded. "You still want Summer.
That is why you can't tell her about us. In your heart, you just can't give up
the fantasy."
Seth didn't know what to say. In his heart he did want someone else. And while
he really liked Anna, thought she was better than Double Stuffed Oreos and the
sun cresting over the Pacific, she wasn't his heart's desire. "It's not
that. I...I...Anna I don't want to hurt anyone."
Anna frowned but remained silent. It was a silence that lasted until Seth
pulled up in front of the large no where near modest establishment Anna
begrudgingly called home.
Seth watched as she reached for the door, but only spoke when it was apprarent
she wasn't going to. "Anna wait."
"No Seth. I won't wait." Turning around she climbed down from the
car. "You go home and make up your mind. Maybe I'll still be here when you
decide." Slamming the door, she walked away dejected.
Leaning his head against the steering wheel, Seth felt his heart actually
ache. It was a melandramtic way to feel. Why did everyone walk away from him?
Starting the car up he pulled out of the driveway feeling like he'd been to war
instead of a rock show.
He was lost in a sea of choices, a victim of desire.
