Chapter Two

Lucy stood outside Alison's door and knocked softly before easing her way inside. She remembered the first time she'd visited Alison here. It was heartbreaking to see her like that.

"Go away - Lucy." Alison said sadly.

"I won't. I'll stay here until you let me in."

Defeated, and not wanting to fight anymore, Alison pulled the door open.

Lucy was shocked at what she saw. Alison looked so pale and drawn, her hair was matted and her eyes dull. She turned her back to Lucy and pulled the oversized sweater she wore around herself. Lucy recognized it. It belonged to Rafe.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright." Lucy said softly.

"I'm not. Lucy. I'm not alright. I will never be alright again."

"Shh. C'mon that's not true."

She whispered. "He hates me."

"That's not true either." Lucy placed her hand on her back shocked at the feel of her shoulder blades. Oh my God, She thought, she's so thin.

"Alison - aren't you eating?"

She shrugged, "Why bother?"

"The baby - Alison. You need to eat or…"

Alison's voice was bitter. "I'll lose the baby? I'm not that lucky. I'm sure it's surviving, sucking my blood internally. Takes after his father."

"Alison. The baby is most likely Rafe's - you know that."

She did. She actually was sure of it, but even still, she shook her head. "I can't let myself think of that Lucy. I can't. If I do - it's like torture. I'd much rather believe that Caleb is right - that it's his. Then I don't have to care."

"Alison. You're killing yourself, holed up here. And Rafe, he's not doing any better than you are."

"I know. I can't believe what I did to him."

Lucy turned Alison to face her, her voice stern. "OK. Alison. You hurt him - that's true - but you never deliberately or consciously tried to hurt him. This evil - it seeps in and takes over, when you least expect it. The most - the thing you learned most is that you are not immune to it. I know Rafe likes to think you both are - but it's not true."

"I didn't - Lucy." Alison sobbed and turned and collapsed in her arms.

"Shh. It's OK." Lucy whispered as she hugged her.

"Oh God - Lucy. I love him. I never wanted to hurt him. That night - I couldn't stop it. I wanted to leave. I was almost out the door and then - it happened. For days afterward I wanted to tell him what happened, but I couldn't. I knew it would hurt him and I just wanted it to go away."

Alison's words kept coming. Rafe hadn't let her speak - she needed to say it to someone who understood and wouldn't judge her. "I never wanted Caleb. I only want Rafe. From almost the moment I met him, I only ever wanted him. He's everything to me. He's my heart, Lucy." She sobbed and clung to Lucy as her knees began to give out. "and now - now that I lost him - Lucy - I can't breathe. I can't sleep or eat. I'm already dead inside. I just want it to stop, Lucy, I just want the rest to catch up to me."

Lucy led her to the couch to sit down. "He'll come back to you. Alison. You will be together again. You have to believe that."

Alison shook her head no, "I don't think so - Lucy. Not this time. This was the end. This is one challenge too many for us."

"Stop it. You brought him back here - Alison. Your love saved him. He'll remember that. It might take some time - but you know that he will."

Alison's tearstained face stared up at her. "It hurts too much to believe that Lucy."

"Well - then you've just proven you're not dead." Lucy said. "You only hurt when you're alive."

Entering the room, Lucy saw her, sitting on a window seat – staring out the window. She turned to glance at Lucy quickly before turning back to gaze out at the grounds below.

"It's snowing - Lucy." She said sadly.

"Yeah." Lucy replied. "It's sticking too. There's about 2 inches on the ground, already."

"I used to love the snow. Once – we…." Alison blinked back tears and stopped speaking. The memory was too painful. Everything was so beautiful and so simple back then. All they needed was each other.

"Alison." Lucy sat beside her. She noticed how Alison's hand rested on her stomach, how she rubbed small circles over it without seeming to notice what she was doing. "Come with me for a little bit. Maybe we could go shopping. There's only a day or two left. It's nearly Christmas."

"I'm not exactly in the holiday spirit – Lucy." She said softly. "I think I'd rather stay here."

Lucy ran her eyes over Alison from head to toe. Her lovely blond hair seemed duller, her eyes no longer sparkled. Her smile had been absent for weeks. She looked pale and sad and was the very definition of heartbroken. The only person she'd ever seen look at all similar was her cousin.

This was ridiculous. They had to start talking. They'd both die from sheer loneliness if she didn't try to do something soon.

"Alison. Sweetie. Come with me. We won't go shopping – but I think there's something that will make you feel better."

"I don't think so, Lucy. Don't make me go and try and see him. Please. I'm begging you." She started to weep.

"Alison…"

Alison got up and paced the room, her voice frantic. "No. Lucy. I can't. It's too much. The things he's said to me – the way I hurt him. He's right. I betrayed him in the worst way possible. I should have listened to him – I should have stayed away. But I didn't – and I ruined everything. I don't blame him for how he feels. I blame myself."

And he blames himself too. Lucy thought. For all his lashing out – Lucy knew that Rafe blamed himself above all else. He left Alison alone and vulnerable. They'd told him his life on earth would be hell and they were entirely right. His having to live without Alison was like his punishment and he could not be persuaded otherwise.

"Then come with me – to the hospital. I think it's about time you learned the truth."

"Lucy…"

"Do you have any doubt whose baby that is?" Lucy asked, pointing in the direction of Alison's belly. There was no doubt in her mind whose child Alison carried – but she figured it was about time they found out for sure.

"It's Rafe's.." she whispered, his name coming out on a sob. "It has to be – and even if it isn't – I won't let an innocent child pay for my stupidity, no matter how evil his father might be."

Lucy continued to push. "I think if you hear someone else say it you might be able to rest easier. Please. I can help you. Please let me."

Wiping her eyes – Alison decided to give in.

*************

At GH, the technician left to determine the results. Lucy held Alison's hand near the bedside. "It will make you feel so much better once you know. I don't have a doubt – but either way – it'll be a relief to know the truth."

Alison cast her eyes downward. It amazed her that she could still cry. She shouldn't have any tears left. "Will you tell him for me?"

"No." Lucy said, her voice strong. "I will not."

"Lucy…" Alison pleaded.

"NO. Alison. This is crazy – the two of you are dying inside. Just mentioning his name brings you to tears. You can't deny to me that you love him…"

"Of course I love him – Lucy. That's not what this is about. It's the fact that I don't think he'll ever forgive me or trust me again. Not after what I did."

"He'll forgive you – he'll trust you. He practically does already – he's just being stubborn."

For the first time in months, Alison nearly smiled. "He always was stubborn."

Lucy smiled back "And so are you. It's why the two of you are in this mess."

Just then, the technician came back in the room. "Mrs. Kovich."

"Yes?" Alison asked, her voice hopeful and shaking with nerves.

"It's 100% conclusive. The DNA is a perfect match."

Alison's eyes filled with tears. The only DNA they had tested came from Rafe. It honestly was what she had believed all along – but hearing someone else say it – having it scientifically proven was priceless. She finally had something to celebrate. Even if Rafe never spoke to her again it was now clear that she'd always have a part of him. She'd always have some little piece of him to love forever.

In the moments that followed, she let Lucy convince her to go to him. It would be hard, it could be ugly – but she wanted to tell him herself. As they made their way there fate intervened and on the road slick with ice Lucy's car spun around. When it stopped, Lucy, though shaken – was unharmed. She turned to look at her passenger. Alison sat slumped in her seat, unconscious.