Chapter Five
Colleen came running, followed by Elizabeth and Chris. Caleb didn't put up a fight - he had bigger and better plans for all of them. Though this new development stopped his little scheme short, he knew he'd caused both Alison and the slayer significant pain.
Content for the moment he sighed. It'd been fun while it lasted. Casually shrugging his shoulders he eased past them and out the door.
Elizabeth sat with her for a while, until she again drifted off to sleep. As she did, in the back of her mind, she wondered when he would come back to see her - or if Lucy was wrong and he'd changed his mind.
*********
He had not wanted to leave her - but he realized now it was for the best. The doctors had assured him that she and the baby were both physically fine, she was just completely exhausted. The few hours he spent dealing with the gym made it possible for him to spend the next few days looking after her. Lucy could try - but there was no way in hell he would leave that hospital until she left its doors with him.
Moonlight streamed through the window, reminding him of other times he sat and watched her sleep. His least favorite place to do that was while she was in the hospital, but this was by no means the first time he had.
He'd been so blind.
If he'd been able to see through the red haze of anger that had blocked his vision since that moment when Caleb showed him what had happened, he would have known how wrong it was to push her away. There was one fact and one fact only he needed to remember.
He wouldn't be walking this earth if it wasn't for her.
Easing into the chair he shrugged off his coat and pulled himself closer to the side of her bed. Since he'd last seen her, the bruise near her eye bloomed a deeper shade of purple. It made him sick to know she was in any sort of pain.
As he gingerly traced the line of her jaw, it dawned on him he'd hurt her more than any of the injuries she'd acquired in the accident.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he placed his hand over hers, noticing for the first time how it rested on her slightly rounded stomach. All those months they could have been celebrating the fact that they were going to be parents, it killed him to think how much time they had missed staying apart. Rafe vowed then and there not to waste any more of it.
Picking her hand up, he brought it to his lips and spoke to her softly.
"I'm sorry I had to leave you before. I didn't want to. You know Lucy. She wouldn't let up." For the first time in months, he actually smiled. "But, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere now. I'll be here until you're ready to leave."
Rafe listened to her breathing and was calmed by the sound. He held her hand a bit tighter.
"There's so much I need to say to you. I know you're asleep, but maybe you'll hear me. If not, I'll just have to say it all again when you wake up."
The hand that held hers trembled slightly, his eyes filled up as he looked at her. She was so incredibly beautiful. She was everything to him. How did ever think he could have stayed away?
"I was wrong." He began. "I was wrong to blame you because I know that this whole thing is really my fault. I chose him, far more times than you did. I went somewhere I never should have gone, right after you begged me not to. I should have listened to you. You were right all along."
A tear escaped and slowly ran down his cheek as he continued. "Taking care of you doesn't mean I need to fight him every second. It means I shouldn't do anything that could put you in danger. But I did just that - far too many times and I'm sorry."
He kissed her hand again and plodded on, "I never should have blamed you. You didn't blame me. When I came back and fell for Livvie's lies you didn't blame me. You aren't the only one who did something they never thought they'd do. You weren't the only one who did something unspeakable in our place. I married her there, Alison. Even after I had a vision of you and our wedding I still went ahead and did it." He shook his head and took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "And when I finally remembered you told me it didn't matter. After how good you were to me, how could I ever have blamed you like that?"
He looked down at his lap and sighed. Rafe's voice shook with emotion as he finished, "I promise you. Alison. I promise you every day of my life I will try and make it up to you. I will never put anything else in this world before you and our family. I just hope it's not too late - you know? I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for how I've treated you."
Had he been looking at her he would have been able to see her face. Her eyes were now opened wide and tears stained her cheeks.
She gave his hand a squeeze, causing him to look up at last.
Their eyes locked and she whispered, "There's nothing to forgive."
Colleen came running, followed by Elizabeth and Chris. Caleb didn't put up a fight - he had bigger and better plans for all of them. Though this new development stopped his little scheme short, he knew he'd caused both Alison and the slayer significant pain.
Content for the moment he sighed. It'd been fun while it lasted. Casually shrugging his shoulders he eased past them and out the door.
Elizabeth sat with her for a while, until she again drifted off to sleep. As she did, in the back of her mind, she wondered when he would come back to see her - or if Lucy was wrong and he'd changed his mind.
*********
He had not wanted to leave her - but he realized now it was for the best. The doctors had assured him that she and the baby were both physically fine, she was just completely exhausted. The few hours he spent dealing with the gym made it possible for him to spend the next few days looking after her. Lucy could try - but there was no way in hell he would leave that hospital until she left its doors with him.
Moonlight streamed through the window, reminding him of other times he sat and watched her sleep. His least favorite place to do that was while she was in the hospital, but this was by no means the first time he had.
He'd been so blind.
If he'd been able to see through the red haze of anger that had blocked his vision since that moment when Caleb showed him what had happened, he would have known how wrong it was to push her away. There was one fact and one fact only he needed to remember.
He wouldn't be walking this earth if it wasn't for her.
Easing into the chair he shrugged off his coat and pulled himself closer to the side of her bed. Since he'd last seen her, the bruise near her eye bloomed a deeper shade of purple. It made him sick to know she was in any sort of pain.
As he gingerly traced the line of her jaw, it dawned on him he'd hurt her more than any of the injuries she'd acquired in the accident.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, he placed his hand over hers, noticing for the first time how it rested on her slightly rounded stomach. All those months they could have been celebrating the fact that they were going to be parents, it killed him to think how much time they had missed staying apart. Rafe vowed then and there not to waste any more of it.
Picking her hand up, he brought it to his lips and spoke to her softly.
"I'm sorry I had to leave you before. I didn't want to. You know Lucy. She wouldn't let up." For the first time in months, he actually smiled. "But, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere now. I'll be here until you're ready to leave."
Rafe listened to her breathing and was calmed by the sound. He held her hand a bit tighter.
"There's so much I need to say to you. I know you're asleep, but maybe you'll hear me. If not, I'll just have to say it all again when you wake up."
The hand that held hers trembled slightly, his eyes filled up as he looked at her. She was so incredibly beautiful. She was everything to him. How did ever think he could have stayed away?
"I was wrong." He began. "I was wrong to blame you because I know that this whole thing is really my fault. I chose him, far more times than you did. I went somewhere I never should have gone, right after you begged me not to. I should have listened to you. You were right all along."
A tear escaped and slowly ran down his cheek as he continued. "Taking care of you doesn't mean I need to fight him every second. It means I shouldn't do anything that could put you in danger. But I did just that - far too many times and I'm sorry."
He kissed her hand again and plodded on, "I never should have blamed you. You didn't blame me. When I came back and fell for Livvie's lies you didn't blame me. You aren't the only one who did something they never thought they'd do. You weren't the only one who did something unspeakable in our place. I married her there, Alison. Even after I had a vision of you and our wedding I still went ahead and did it." He shook his head and took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "And when I finally remembered you told me it didn't matter. After how good you were to me, how could I ever have blamed you like that?"
He looked down at his lap and sighed. Rafe's voice shook with emotion as he finished, "I promise you. Alison. I promise you every day of my life I will try and make it up to you. I will never put anything else in this world before you and our family. I just hope it's not too late - you know? I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for how I've treated you."
Had he been looking at her he would have been able to see her face. Her eyes were now opened wide and tears stained her cheeks.
She gave his hand a squeeze, causing him to look up at last.
Their eyes locked and she whispered, "There's nothing to forgive."