Chapter4
Dark Secrets
Rogue hurriedly went to the kitchen; afraid of the feelings she shared with Lance. When she got to the kitchen, Logan was the only one there. He sniffed the air as Rogue walked in.
"Rogue, where did you go last night?" Logan asked, slightly annoyed.
"No where." Rogue said, getting a little worried about Lance being found.
"Kid, don't lie to me. I haven't told anyone, but I saw ya leave, an' then come back with Lance last night. And I can smell him all over you."
"Nothin' happened, ok. It's just, that well, I ran into him yesterday in an alley, then I kept thinkin' 'bout him last night, so went lookin' for him, and he was there, so made him come back with me. He slept on the floor." Rogue said, grabbing a piece of toast and some orange juice.
"I trust ya, kid. But be careful. Lance can be trouble. And don't kiss the boys before breakfast." Logan turned back to the window. Rogue wiped at her mouth, wondering how Logan knew that.
After Rogue went to the bathroom to fix her make-up after training, Professor X asked her if she wanted her own room. Since they had so many empty guestrooms, he said he was offering one to all the older kids. Rogue accepted, and her and Lance moved her stuff upstairs to the room with the balcony overlooking the back yard. Kurt and Kitty helped with the stuff that was too big to fit through the hallways When they were done, Lance told Rogue that Logan was taking him to the Brotherhood house later to get his stuff, if it was even there anymore.
After he left, Rogue went and sat down on the balcony. She slowly tugged her gloves off, the black polish on her nails catching the sunlight. She pulled her bracelets off, and lightly ran her fingers over the shiny ridges that marred her wrists. She hadn't cut herself in almost a year now, but many times she'd come close to backsliding back to it. She could remember the last time, how cool the knife was in her hand, and how warm her blood felt, running down her palms, dripping off her fingers, leaving a dark red puddle on the floor…
It was right after she got here. She'd been cutting for a while by then. Lightly at first, just to see blood. Then deeper, until she couldn't stop, the pain became essential. But that time she had meant business. She wanted to give up, she was so sick of the world, and the uncontrollability of her powers. She had stared at her blood, streaming from her arms, dripping onto her toes. She then began smearing blood all over the closet walls. Writing in it, Rogue had just stood there, staring at the bloodied walls. It had looked like a scene from a horror flick as she fell to the floor. Logan had found her, busted down her locked door. Ever since then he'd been incredibly protective of her.
When Lance and Logan came back, Rogue had already made up her mind. If she couldn't find reason enough to keep playing this game of living, she'd have to do something drastic.
"So, what do you want to do tonight? Lance! Hello, I'm talking to you." Rogue tried to get his attention.
"What? Oh, I don't care." Lance was standing on Rogue's new bed; helping her paint her room jade green.
"Well, I do. Let's go to the park tonight. After the lights go on." Rogue was bored with staying home all the time.
"But the lights come on before curfew."
"I know, we'll leave around midnight after everyone's asleep."
"Awlright, I'll go with you. It could be fun." Lance glanced at Rogue through his hair, trying to see if Rogue caught his drift.