K, last chapter ppl, only a reflective epilogue left which I like a lot as well, but this is (hopefully ^^U) the answer te all yer prayers concernin' this fic *grins*... must thank b-teddy fer findin' the quote at the beginnin' *hugglez sis* thank yeee!!!!
Must say Magic Kings didn't bring me Esca... nor Cap'n Jack, nor Van *cries a river* so I *still* can't claim them... but ye just wait, I'll figure out somethin', eventually, aye...
~···*···~
~ Flowers have spoken to me more
than I can tell in written words.
They are the hieroglyphics of
angels, loved by all men for the beauty of the character,
though few can decipher even
fragments of their meaning. ~
Lydia M. Child
~···*···~
VII. Mistletoe
~ I surmount all difficulties
"Allen! Allen!! Wake up!!"
A voice floated in the air, but he couldn't distinguish whom it belonged to. The sound was familiar, and he snuggled up in his bed, groaning in annoyance. Everybody knew that he was not to be disturbed the morning after having gone out for a drink; of course, last night it hadn't been just a mere drink, as he'd been searching for oblivion in alcohol, drowning his sorrow and frustration in tavern after tavern.
"Allen!!" the feminine voice hissed in his ear. "Get up this very instant you moron, what do you think you're doing?!"
"I'm tryin' t'sleep, I thought 'twas clear enough!" he mumbled, his words slightly slurred; he buried his face in a pillow for a few seconds, then sighed. "What the heck are you doin' here, Serena?" he groaned, whishing her sister to leave him to his misery.
"I'm discovering that I'm ashamed of my brother," she said sarcastically, sitting on his bed next to him and crossing her arms. "It's half past eleven in the morning, I just heard notice that you're going to get married in two days, and you're still in bed, mourning over how miserable you are."
She walked to the window and pulled the curtains aside, letting the bright sunbeams of the winter sun come into the room. Allen blinked repeatedly, his eyes gradually adjusting to the change of light. His sister, dressed in a beautiful mauve dress that revealed the curve of her round belly, was looking at him hardly, her blue eyes blazing.
"Where's Dilandau?" he inquired, rubbing his eyes and stifling a yawn. "What are you doing here, sister?"
She stomped her feet angrily, seriously wanting to pummel her brother until he got his common sense back, as it seemed to be on holidays right now. "My husband is downstairs, with our father, playing chess. And I am here, trying to beat some sense into your dense skull, my dear brother," she said, her ash-blond hair shining in the morning light. "Why are you marrying Miss Millerna? You know you don't love her, you told me that Marlene did love you back… then why are you marrying the wrong person on Saturday?!"
Allen growled, burying his face in his hands. "It's so easy to say it like that, isn't it?!" he bit back. "Oh, yes, Allen, go and marry Marlene, disgrace your family, break the engagement and dump the bride two days before the wedding, just forget about your family, be selfish and do what you really want. Do you think I like it?! Do you honestly think I'm doing this for me?!" he shouted, frustration ringing in his words. Why I marry Millerna? Because, dear sister, you married Dilandau, that's why!" he exploded. "Maybe I should've made Marlene pregnant too, it seems to work wonders."
The sound of a loud slap echoed in the room. He brought his hand to his cheek in disbelief, registering what had happened. At his side, Serena was looking furiously at him, her right hand's palm glowing red and tears of hurt shining in her blue depths. The man let out a moan, closing his eyes and shaking his head.
"Gods, Serena, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," he apologized, exhausted. He was beyond tiredness, sick of the emotional carousel he was going through. "I don't know what's wrong with me, I know it didn't go like that, please forgive me… I can't seem to think straight these days," he opened his arms, and a second later the ash-blonde was in them, unconsciously seeking his brother's protection. When she was hurt, Allen had always comforted her, had always been by her side, and she knew she could count on him to tell him her problems. And it had worked the other way round as well, as she was his confidant and advisor when he needed help. Now, it was one of those moments, where he needed her help, and perhaps a little push in the right direction too.
"It's all right, Allen," she calmed him, smiling feebly. "That's why you stink of vino, right? Oh, brother, it's not fair for you to be held the only responsible for the family honour. Look at you, at what you're doing to yourself," she lamented, sweetly brushing a strand of blond hair out of his face.
"I was raised to live up to the expectations of the people, I guess it's the way it has to be…" he murmured, his skin drained of colour, as though his will to live had abandoned him.
"Allen, I can't let you do this," she said firmly. "They have turned you into the perfect son, but they forgot that you're much more than a son. We are grown up now, brother, we're no longer children, and it's in ourselves to choose what to do with our life." She paused for a moment, and then blushed a little. "Though I didn't tell mother because she would've scandalized, I once had my fortune read by an old woman, and she told me to remember that I would be the one living my life; never forget it, Allen, if you let the rest of the world shape your future, they may be happy for a few years, but you'll be the one who'll have to suffer the consequences til the end of your days," Serena said seriously.
The blond man listened to her words silently, wondering when her sister had turned into the wise counselor she was proving to be now.
"If you let the opportunities go by, they might never come back again. Our parents do this because they think they know what's better for us, but the truth is they took their decisions, and it's time for us to take ours," she continued. "Even though they sometimes don't know how to demonstrate it, they love us, Allen, and love that's given freely doesn't have to be paid back with sacrifices of this kind."
"Serena, I'll dishonor them," he groaned, feeling now guilty for thinking that his sister was right. Guilty, as he knew that his parents wouldn't be pleased, but unable to deny the truth in what she'd said.
"I think the society we live in now has been built on a concept of 'honor' that's completely wrong," she said thoughtfully. "They think that honor is in one's name and one's wealth, but I think it's in one's heart. And, if you betray your feelings, where does that leave you? Disgrace may not be shown in the outside, but in the inside, and it'll make you go through a thousand hells every single day of your life. To thine own self be true, Allen, and what does it matter what the rest of people say? They'll just be envious of you, because you'll have had the courage to do what they secretly wish, but are too coward to do."
She fell silent, and for a few seconds none of them both made a sound. Then, with a gentle pat on her brother's shoulder, Serena smiled broadly. "And all that means, get out of here this very instant, tell our parents that you don't love Miss Millerna, and that you're going to marry her cousin, whether they like it or not, more or less. Mother will make a fuss over it, she'll probably threaten you and say that she'll disinherit you if you do it… well, you know how it works," she giggled, shaking her head. "But I won't consider you my dear brother if you throw your happiness away. Believe me, it's worth anything."
Allen let out a laugh and ruffled her perfectly combed hair as he used to when they were kids. "Thank God I have you, Serena," he hugged her affectionately. "Marriage has turned you into a very wise woman."
She grinned. "Oh, I was wise before, only that you men take lots of time to notice these things," she sighed, sweetly stroking her round belly, and he saw her eyes were shiny and joyful. "Now, go, Allen, and always remember that you're the only one who can make your life a happy one, if you make the right decisions."
"Thanks, sister," he kissed her forehead sweetly. "Dilandau is a very lucky man to have you at his side."
"Yes, and so I tell him every morning," she laughed. "I'll go down with them while you get dressed. And I'll have Blenda sent up here with her special hangover tea. Gods, brother, what did you do? I bet all taverns in Arzas ran out of vino after you raided them…" the blue-eyed girl smiled. "The woman you love can consider herself very fortunate too, brother."
After those words, she left the room, closing the door behind her. She went down the stairs with a smile playing on her lips, knowing than Allen had finally chosen the right path.
~···*···~
Millerna had discussed the flower message with Eries and Marlene a thousand times since she had gotten it the previous noon. Hitomi had delivered it along with the words 'Tomorrow afternoon, 5 o'clock I'll be there'. 'There', meaning the stables. Exhilaration had run through her like a liquid fire, and she had been tempted to meet Dryden right away and escape with him that very same moment.
After that first childlike impulse, she'd forced herself to cool down and consider the situation calmly. She might have simply run away, had she been three years younger, but she wasn't a child anymore, and she knew that her acts would have consequences she'd have to cope with later on. Such as, her family.
She berated herself for doing so, but the truth was that she'd never openly said no to her father, at least not about her engagement with Allen. She had sulked, brooded and complained to her sister and cousin, but she had never told her father that she didn't want to marry the young Schezar.
Because it would break his heart, she told herself; she loved Grava dearly, and hadn't wanted to add to her father's unhappiness by openly refusing the suitor he'd chosen for her. She just couldn't bring herself to do what Eries had, to put her father through the same kind of situation.
And look at you now, because you didn't want to say no when it was time to, you're going to run away… as if that could cause less pain to da, she bit her lip guiltily. Did she have the courage to leave them, without saying goodbye, without saying that she was sorry?
I'll write a letter, she decided, knowing that, was she to say goodbye to Grava face to face, her strength would weaken, and she would break down and not be able to leave. I just can't stay…
That way, if she just disappeared, her father might be able to save the family's good name. He could always say that Millerna was the black sheep of the family, turn their back on her and let society talk. Let her fall alone. She didn't care at all, as she would be miles away from Arzas, happily living in Fanelia.
Yes, that was certainly the best alternative. She could write it all down, and tell Eries and Marlene to take care of Grava. And she knew that her cousin was glad that she had decided to do it, as Marlene had told the two Aston sisters about what had happened between her and Allen. Even so, she hadn't said a word about the reasons he had for marrying Millerna instead of her; she had said that he had good reasons, but hadn't said a single word about them.
Bwah, who was she trying to fool? She was a coward. And she was running away because she didn't want to have to face her father's disappointment. She didn't want to explain why she was doing it, her reasons, how they'd stayed in touch with Dryden. It would put in danger Hitomi, and Van too, she reasoned. Oh, but what a coward… she didn't even want to admit it to herself.
Yet there she was, briskly walking to the stables to meet him, two days before her wedding. Only that she wasn't planning on attending the ceremony, at least not as the bride.
She stopped for a second to admire what was around her, what she would never see again. The gardens she'd never walk again… The sun had set behind the mountains, and the sky's lavender vault was starting to darken with every minute that went by. The golden-rimmed peaks in the distance seemed to be on fire, an explosion of yellows, oranges and reds tinting the clouds that swam like lazy pieces of cotton in the blue. Her chest swelled with pride and love for her house, the place that had seen her grow, from carefree child to rebel teenager, and now, woman in love ready to do whatever it was needed to be with the one she loved.
It was hard, and she hadn't foreseen how much it would really hurt: knowing that every time she passed by a maid and said 'good afternoon, Nurae', or 'I hope your hand's healing well, Ruhm', she was really saying goodbye.
When she reached the stables, she felt her heart starting to pound in her chest, as excitement, anxiety and guilt washed through her. The door was half open, and she could hear soft voices coming from inside the place. Her fingers tentatively brushed the wooden planks, and, making up her mind, she stepped inside.
"Gods, Millerna, I thought you wouldn't come!" said Dryden hoarsely, quickly walking to where she stood; he wanted to embrace her, but he wasn't sure if it was the right moment to do it, as her turmoil of emotions was easily seen on her face. "Millerna, are you all right?" he asked, deeply concerned. He brought his hand to her cheek, caressing her milky-white skin.
"Yes, I'm all right," she smiled, rubbing her arms to fight off the cold that was creeping inside her. "I was just… saying goodbye…" the lump in her throat made it difficult for her to say those words. She hadn't given him an answer yet, as that morning she had simply asked Hitomi to tell him that she'd be in the stables at five… so, now she'd finally said it, the words that set her future. She was going to run away with him.
Dryden beamed at her, finally giving in to his initial impulse and closing his arms around her. Millerna was trembling a little, and he suddenly felt guilty for having asked her to do such a thing. But, again, what choices did they have? He wasn't going to let her go, not ever. So, as he wasn't exactly the best husband one could think of, the possibility of visiting Grava bearing a wide smile to say 'Good morning sir, your daughter is in love with me and I'm in love with her, so we'd like to be married as soon as possible' was definitely out of contest. He knew that she was going to lose something, no matter what she chose: her family, of her love. And he hadn't been really sure of being the fortunate one this time, as he realized what she'd have to give up. Just to be with him. And that's why her yes was even more precious to him.
"See? I told you."
Millerna was surprised to hear Hitomi's hushed whisper in the stables; she had been in such a daze since that morning that she had failed to notice the horse boy and the flower girl's presence. Van and her were both sitting on a straw mattress covered with blankets, looking at the scene in front of them with interested eyes.
"I never said she wouldn't go with him," the auburn-eyed boy retorted defensively. "I just said it wasn't as easy as you thought it to be."
The young Aston smiled. "And it hasn't been… oh, it certainly hasn't," she sighed, shaking her head. Dryden's arm snaked around her waist in a protective gesture. Now that they were to escape together, he'd never let any harm happen to her.
"I'm sorry, Milly, I don't like you having to take this decision, I know it's very hard-" he was stopped by the amethyst-eyed woman, who placed her fingers on his lips softly.
"I don't want you to be sorry, Dryden. And, above all, I trust you to never let me be sorry of having chosen what I have," she smiled, her features softening when she looked at his handsome face shadowed with concern.
"Even though you know I don't have anything to offer, but an old house in Fanelia and a few savings I kept before my father went bankrupt? Even though you'll be miles away from here?" he said, his jaw clenched and his dark green eyes full of frustration. Frustration and anger for being what he was, and for not being able to give her all she deserved.
"As long as you're with me, and keep your indefatigable sense of humor, I can face anything Fate may have planned for us," she grinned as he pulled her into his embrace, running his hands up and down her back.
After a moment of silence, Van cleared his throat, quite embarrassed to be witnessing something that, in his opinion, was very personal and just to be shared between the two lovers.
He had been actually unable to resist those big green eyes when she'd told him what was going to happen that afternoon, so he'd decided to stick around the stables at the time, though not just because he wanted to know how all that story ended, but because he wanted to be with Hitomi as much time as possible.
"Where will you go now, Millerna?" asked the flower girl in a quiet murmur, curling her toes reflexively. A wave of sadness flooded the amethyst-eyed woman, understanding that she would never see them, nor Van nor Hitomi, again.
"Van here has watered Oberon, so I had thought of setting off right away to Fanelia. We would stop to rest for the night at one of the inns by the main road, and would probably reach the city within the following five hours, around midday," Dryden explained, watching Millerna intently, silently asking for her confirmation of the plans he'd made.
The young Aston nodded after a small hesitation. "I have my things already packed, though I left them upstairs… maybe you could go and fetch them, Hitomi?" she asked, and the flower girl nodded with a smile.
"Sure thing, d'ye want me to go now?" she asked, standing up eagerly.
Dryden placed his hands on Millerna's shoulders and looked at her. "Are you sure this is what you want?"
She smiled reassuringly at his words. "Heavens, Dry, I know you're doing this on purpose," she chuckled. "You just want me to tell you how wonderful you are, so wonderful that I'm leaving it all to be with you. Really, if you ask me that question just once more, I'll start thinking you want me to stay behind," the pale blonde laughed with a wink. Then her expression grew serious. "For the last time, yes. This is what I want."
Hitomi nearly 'aawwed' -and she would have, if Van hadn't stopped her with a soft kick-, her eyes heart-shaped and her smile so wide that it reached her ears. The dark haired boy looked at them , and even though a part of him was glad for the lovers, another part was envious and sad. He also wanted to say those words to the girl at his side, wanted to hold her like that. And, most of all, wanted her to say, like Millerna, that she didn't care if he wasn't rich or noble, and definitely not a prince.
"Stop staring, your jaw will come out of place if it drops just once more time," he murmured in her ear, getting up as well and adjusting his cap over his eyes. She smacked him softly with a grin.
"Oh, don't be such a spoilsport, Van," she chided him. "Don't you know what true love is?"
He smiled humourlessly. You certainly wouldn't believe I know as well as I actually do…
"I'm sorry to interrupt your lovey-dovey scene, but I've got some news that may change what's going on here," said Eries from the door, the smile painted on her face reaching her voice. Her sister turned around sharply, and Dryden placed his broad hand on his lover's slim shoulder, offering her his support and protection.
"Eries! What's happening now?" Millerna asked, praying to all gods that it wasn't that her father had found out about her escape. "Is da…"
"Nothing like that, dear sister," said the navy-blue-eyed girl, an amused edge to her words. "I'm sure you couldn't guess what just happened up there, in father's tea room…"
"I'd rather you didn't have us here guessing, and told us instead. I think it'll be quicker," put in Dryden, arching his eyebrows skeptically.
Eries smiled, thoroughly enjoying the expectation-filled atmosphere she'd created. While as the lovers' faces were tense, the horse boy stared at her from under the brim of his cap, his burgundy eyes glowing dangerously. Hitomi, on the other hand, was wriggling her fingers nervously, watching her as if she had blue monkeys on her face. "Hey, relax, people," she smiled. "It's good news."
Millerna let out the air she'd been holding in all of a sudden, and Dryden also heaved a sigh of relief, while as Van moved nearly imperceptibly closer to Hitomi.
"Right now, Mr. Allen Schezar is with our dear father," the eldest of the Aston sister started. "He came in the house and flashed past the room where I was playing the flute something like ten minutes ago; the next thing I knew was that he'd told dad that he couldn't marry you."
The looks on their faces were priceless, Eries thought with an amused chuckle. Funny, how people didn't really notice how obvious their feelings could be, how easily their thoughts showed on their faces when they believed them secret and extremely well-hidden.
"He did what?" croaked Millerna, shaking her head in disbelief.
"Exactly what you heard. He said he'd been disinherited, and that the only thing he wanted was Marlene's hand," the navy-blue-eyed girl explained. "Romantic, huh? Needless to say that our dear cousin was happier than words can say now… so I came here immediately to tell you that the engagement is broken, officially."
Seeing that they didn't react to her words, she chuckled. "Well, now if you de-freeze, you could come in and explain father what's been going on… you have the element of surprise on your side, and I dare say you might very well end up being lucky, sister," Eries smiled. "But well, if you first want to end the emotive scene that was going on before I arrived, I'll just go and wait for you inside."
When the door closed after her, the two lovers stared at each other, eyes wide and shocked; and, when they started talking, they did both at the same time, so that not a single word could be understood. Anyway, no words were needed.
Dryden took Millerna in his arms and made her whirl in the air, still stunned by the sudden turn things were taking. She laughed, a sound full of mirth and joy, her eyes just for the man in front of her, amazed by how lucky she was. Incredible, simply incredible.
"Do we go in now?" asked the chocolate-brown-haired man, his hands never leaving her form.
"I think so. It's better to attack all at the same time," joked the amethyst-eyed girl, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it gently; however, Dryden stopped in his tracks and gave her a wolfish smile. "What?"
He merely pointed upwards, to a bunch of mistletoe that was hanging from one of the low crossbeams above their heads.
"I dry it up there," explained Hitomi quietly. "It's supposed to offer protection against all harm…"
"And you also know it's the plant of the lovers, don't you, Milly?" asked the dark-green-eyed man impishly. "Do you know what they say? They say if you kiss the one you love when you're under the mistletoe, you'll keep him in love with you forever."
She frowned lightly. "But I don't need this plant to be in love with you," she protested.
"Oh, but they also say that lovers must kiss when under the mistletoe," he purred, bringing his hand to her cheek to cup her sweetly flushed face. "It's… ah, tradition."
"Well… if it's tradition… I certainly won't be the one breaking it," grinned Millerna, as he drew closer and closer, until his lips were over hers and covered them completely…
The first kiss of true love.
~···*···~
He shot her a side glance, and held his breath at the sight of her. Her rosy face was flushed, disheveled strands of silky honey brown hair tumbling down her shoulders in a disarrayed mess he found endearingly charming. She had brought her fingers to her lips in an unconscious gesture when Dryden and Millerna had kissed, and she still had them there, curling spasmodically as she dangled her feet back and forth, from her sitting position on his mattress. She was so much a woman, and yet so much a child…
They had stood in silence after the lovers had left the stables, Hitomi too lost in her thoughts to articulate a coherent word. Van felt the urge of starting doing something, maybe brush a horse, or sweep the hay on the ground, but he forced himself to sit down next to her and enjoy her company. He wanted to enjoy as many moments as he could spend with her, and he felt it was a very special one for the flower girl.
Hitomi closed her eyes, surprised by the frantic beating of her heart, the heat that ran through her as she'd never felt before. She had vibrated, all of her, at the sight of Dryden and Millerna's kiss, skin against skin, giving her a glimpse of the fairytale happy endings she so much liked. "My god, I had never thought it would… well, be like that," she whispered faintly.
"What? A kiss?" Van asked, his voice being a little bit more mocking than what he'd intended. The flower girl turned her bright green eyes to his.
"Aye, a kiss…" she trailed off dreamily,
her mind filling with pictures of her prince.
I wonder if I'll ever be loved
like that…
"Aren't you already?" he asked, and he cursed himself for not being able to hide the note of bitterness that laced his voice. Hitomi flinched at his question, staring at him wide-eyed as her cheeks went crimson.
"Don't tell me I said that out loud…" she bit her lip, mortified; Van simply nodded, still frowning, and she sighed, closing her eyes. "… Did my grandma tell you?" she asked incredulously, wondering how could he know about the flowers that she'd been receiving those past weeks.
"Yeah, you could say something like that," he finished with a crooked smile, easing his cap over his eyes. If she saw what was in them, he was dead, so he hid them from her view, leaning back on the crumbled plaster of the wall next to his bed. "That's why I wondered why you never told me a word about it…"
She bit her lip. "Well I… I-"
"You didn't trust me enough?" he supplied the words, this time not even bothering in trying to conceal the hurt in them, but she shook her head fiercely.
"No! Course not, Van, how could you think somethin' like that?" she looked surprised and wounded. "I never told you because at first I couldn't believe it myself… I mean, I'm still expecting to see Yukari come into the room and say 'Ya silly lil flea, didya really believe that some guy was sendin' ya the flowers when 'twas me all the time?'," she explained.
"And now, do you think they're real?" he asked quietly.
Hitomi hesitated for a moment. "I guess… Millerna told me they were real when I told her 'bout it, not so long ago… I didn't tell you because… well, because… I was afraid that… that you might… laugh at me for being stupid enough to believe in these things," she confessed, her head dropping and her hair hiding her face from view.
Damn her for looking so vulnerable, he cursed inwardly, as he had to double the efforts to stop himself from sweeping her in his arms and kiss her senseless, until she felt safe and protected at his side, until she realized that it was him, it had been him all the time. Until she grew to love him, beyond understanding, beyond reason and coherent thought.
Instead, he brushed her hair with his callous fingers, stroking her honey-blond head lovingly. "Good God, Hitomi, don't you know it? I would never laugh at your dreams," he soothed her; he hated to see her like that, looking so miserable. And she had thought he'd mock her…
"I'm sorry, Van, that I didn't tell you…" she sounded so heartbreakingly sincere that he forgot all the anger that had welled inside him for weeks, since the first flower he'd given her. "Though I don't know who my prince is…"
He drew out a sigh, telling himself to take it as a amusement. "And, didn't Millerna list some possibilities?"
Hitomi chuckled. "Oh, aye indeed… nearly all of the lords and sirs that had visited Aston Manor and had seen me. Though we don't know anything about him… absolutely nothing…"
How wrong you are, love… how close to the truth, standing in front of you, and you don't see it.
"But have you got any preferences? There must be some of the gentlemen you like better than the others… isn't your prince among them?" he asked, cursing the moment he'd said the words. He wanted to know, and at the same time, didn't want to, because he knew it would hurt. It would hurt like hell having her talking about some other man with her bright green eyes full of passion, when he wished that passion for himself, and only for him.
"… I don't know. I… I don't know them, Van," she murmured, shrugging. "Do you think it's possible? That they love me, even if they don't know me?"
Now it was his turn to be silent for a few seconds. "I honestly dunno, 'Tomi."
She sighed. "You know… I had dreamt all my life of this," she smiled vaguely. "In the fairytales my mother told me, the handsome prince saw the beautiful princess and fell in love with her. And I wanted to be a princess, oh, you don't know how badly I wanted to…"
Probably not as much as I'd like to become a prince for you right now…
"… but now… if it's true, and my prince had fallen in love with me with just a look… what will happen afterwards?" Hitomi shivered involuntarily. "What will happen when he knows me, what if he doesn't like me, Van?"
The feral fear that crouched behind her questions hit the dark-haired boy like a whip. "… Then it's because he wasn't the right one," he plainly said, his hand absently stroking her hair.
"… and will the right one come?"
He took a sharp intake of breath, biting back the words. Look in me, see me. Find me, let me be the right one. "You shouldn't doubt so much, princess. Haven't you always been sure that it would happen like that?"
She smiled sadly. "I also thought I'd be thrilled to know that my prince had finally come for me… but I'm scared…" she whispered, biting her now already swollen lower lip he so wanted to sooth with a soft caress.
"Scared of love?"
"Have you ever been in love, Van?"
Good God, she just had to ask that question, didn't she?, he complained inwardly. "Why do you ask, princess?" he gulped, feeling more nervous than ever. He was now treading on thin ice, and if he slipped just once, his secret would be discovered.
"… I wondered what it was like, and thought that you being a man… well… maybe you could tell me," she said, a delicious blush blooming on her cheeks.
He sighed, closing his eyes. "Well, I've been told you know it right away, that it strikes you like a lightning… but some other times it's not instantaneous, it takes time and you don't realize it until much later…" he started. "Anyway, it's a feeling that's very difficult to hide, because once it's inside you, it has the annoying habit of taking control of all your actions. You want to be with that person no matter what, want her to be safe and protected, and above all, you want that person to be happy."
Hitomi smiled. "You know it first-hand, don't you?"
He stood up, suddenly not able to stay still for another second. "Don't you, either? We've seen it with Millerna and Dryden for months now…" he said evasively as he picked up a rake and started cleaning the floor of the stables.
She nodded absentmindedly; with a sigh, the flower girl fell onto the soft mattress carelessly. In a split second her mind registered the impressions of having hit something with her head, but the feeling was so nebulous that she wasn't sure if it had been real or a figment of her imagination. She frowned, asking herself if she had dreamt it, or if she'd really hit something. A foreboding curiosity guided her fingers, as she blindly searched for what had connected with her skull. A minute later, and while Van was piling hay in the opposite side of the stables, she found a small wooden box, so well-hidden among the straw of the mattress that she could've missed its presence, hadn't it been for her instinct telling her that there was something important in there.
Her fingers worked on the lock for a few seconds until it clicked open in her hands.
The flower girl's eyes widened in surprise at the two items kept in there: one was a small branch of honeysuckle, its relative freshness telling her that it had been picked that same morning. The second object was wrapped in an old handkerchief.
This… this is my hairpin…, she realized, remembering that she'd missed some weeks ago. But, why did he have her pin? In a box hidden in his bed, nevertheless… along with a honeysuckle. Bonds of love.
Ohmygod. She brought her hand to her mouth, suddenly understanding. Realizing what she'd been oblivious to, and her leaf-green eyes instantly searched Van's lean form, the muscles of his back flexing with every movement he made.
"Van…" she called out softly. He turned around to face her, and his face became a mask of pure horror when he saw what she had in her hands. The rake hit the floor with a metallic sound, but he didn't care. Oh Gods, and what was he to do now? How to explain it, how to tell her…
He quickly walked to her side, his wiry frame tense and stiff in his usually agile movements. When he was in front of her he opened his mouth, wanting to babble a pitiful attempt at making up an excuse, but no sound came out. And he felt his heart starting to beat double when she got up and smiled at him.
Then, her movements slow and gentle, she brought up her hand and took off his cap. Strands of midnight-black hair framed his tanned face, and she grinned in delight when his hazel eyes met hers.
"That's how I like you," the flower girl said sweetly. "No masks between us, Van. Why didn't you tell me…?" she whispered as she intertwined her fingers in his unruly locks of black hair.
He was too captivated by her feather-like touch, and still he managed to put a few words together.
"It seems as we've been keeping many things from one another lately…" he smiled crookedly, letting his hand go up to her own hair, though he didn't touch it, afraid that, if he did, she may pull away and never come close to him again.
Her chuckle, the way she caught her lip between her teeth, how her eyes shone… it was all screaming at him Hold her, kiss her, show her you love her. But he just stood there, rooted to the floor, frozen under her hand resting on his cheek.
"I gave you my explanation, now it's your turn," she said stubbornly, with that childish grin that told him she wasn't going to give up until she drew the words out of him.
So, let's put me out of my misery the sooner, the better, he sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.
"Because… you were waiting for your prince… are waiting," he corrected himself with a frown and a sardonic smirk on his lips.
"Do you love me, Van?"
His stomach made a strange jolt, raw emotion burning through him as he fought back the humiliating tears that came to his eyes; he felt way too much, and not being able to express it was killing him, had been slowly killing him. And now that he was asked, he feared he would explode like a volcano: uncontrollable, unpredictable. Unstoppable.
"Gods, Hitomi, haven't I been making a fool of myself showing you so?" he murmured hoarsely, his hands clenched into fists and trembling at his sides. "Do you know what it feels like, to see you every afternoon, to talk to you, but never being able to be actually near you? To have to act as a friend, but to feel so, oh so much more than friendship?… I love you so much it hurts," his broken whisper died away, and she suddenly felt the impact of his emotions when he opened his eyes and looked at her.
Everything was there. Fierce protectiveness, trust, want, admiration, desire, frustration, hope. Love. So much love shining in them she felt overwhelmed by the strength of his feelings, realizing that when Van felt, he felt deeply, and did everything in consequence. When he trusted, he trusted blindly; when he cared for something, he protected it with his life; when he desired something, passion burned inside him like a flaming torch… When he loved, he loved with all his heart, giving himself unconditionally to the person he'd chosen.
Who casually happened to be her.
She leaned forward and rested her forehead on his well-built chest, letting her hair spill like a curtain, covering her face.
She had failed to see him for so long, for what he was, for what he felt… and for what it made her feel. The flower girl had always known she felt safe at his side, and cared for; Van was one of her only friends, and certainly one of the closest ones. How had she failed to see him all that time, blinded with the idea of a noble and rich prince to come for her?
It felt so wonderful, to know that it was him who'd sent her the flowers. So… right. Because every word had come out straight from the heart, she now was certain that each and every single message was as true as it was intense.
And she knew it. She didn't want a fairytale prince. She wanted him. Him, who knew her, who had always comforted her, who looked at her and saw the beauty within her. Him, who loved her. And, even more and most surprising to her, to whom she loved back.
"Hitomi," he said between gritted teeth, trying to hold back his hands, hands that craved to hold her in his arms and crush her against his flat and hard body. "Step back before you get caught into something you can't control."
When her clear emerald orbs looked up in his own auburn depths, he gasped.
"And what happens if I want to get caught…?"
Wonderful, innocent Hitomi, the most beautiful of women in his eyes. He gaped at her, completely taken off-guard.
"Are-are you giving up on your prince?" he asked, his voice slightly shaky, and the flower girl gave him the sweetest of smiles as she shook her head serenely.
"No… it's only that I was looking for him in the wrong place." Her fingers pointed upwards, and he followed their course to a bunch of mistletoe hanging over their heads. "You don't want to break the tradition, now do you?" she smiled impishly.
A low growl of pure male satisfaction rumbled in Van's throat as he caught her lips with his, finally claiming her for himself, now and forever.
His.
~···*···~
dawnsama: lol! *looks sheepish* well, te be honest, this is my only fic I've been able te plan in chapters… basically coz I thought it te be a one-shot, so I knew I wasn't goin' te write many many scenes, an' it was done in such lil time that if I didn't 'ave it all planned it could've never worked… I actually know how many chappies there are left coz I've had them written fer nearly a month now, so I only edit them (ahem, an' not always ^^U) an' write review replies… aye, too bad Van's not real *whimpers* hehe, I guess that's why I didn't make Allen fall fer 'Tomi… I mean, coz some could've seen it comin', an' I wanted te write somethin' that would surprise a bit the readers, not the typical pairings (k ^^U they are typical, V/H *sweatdrops* an' the others, I didn't make up anythin') they could actually guess, but the option not many think o' instead ^_~ (truth be told… I was a meanie an' wrote that scene with Allen watchin' Tomi te mislead ye a lil… *cackles*)… I was listenin' te the Nutcracker t'day an' thought 'bout it, ye're right ^__^… third week, same here *weeps*… tons te study… T.T
snow blossoms: *grins like mad an' looks shyly at toes* blimey, novel? *wistful sigh* I hope! I'm thrilled te see that flowers turned out te be exactly what I'd wanted them te be… An' *grins* even though I don't mention it 'nywhere, Hitomi's name means Iris (not the flower actually, but I use it all the same ^^U)… an' in the language o' flowers, it means messenger of love ^_~ hey, ye didn't melt, right? ^^U *bites nails* hope it was worth the waitin' *sighs dreamily an' hugglez Van* I'm really flattered by all yer comments, must print these reviews an' read them ere goin' te sleep an' ev'ry mornin' te be cheerful! Heh *groans* I might do that ev'ry day ere goin' te college -_-U
Tevrah: *blushes* thanks a lot!!! ^___^
fireangel621: *drools in front o' two posters* hehe… I made 'Tomi read yer review an' she wisely decided te notice how wonderful, carin', sensitive, lovin' an' not te mention gorgeous beyond words Van is *bursts out laughin'* but again, that means yer History teacher survives… thanks tons fer the review, it had me laughin' on the floor!!
sqeekers: ^___^ make ye grin *wink*? I hope this one did, I can't help but smile like an idiot ev'ry time I read it *sighs* so, she did realize it an' it was soon, ne? aah, but as this was somethin' like a fairytale, it just had te 'ave a happy endin'… only that I think those are more enjoyed if Fate has indeed kicked them in the teeth a bit before *grins impishly*… *sighs* thanks so much fer reviewin' each an' ev'ry single chapter, I appreciate it very much *puts hand te heart* thank ye!!
Dreamboat Annie: *giggles* aaha! Hey, ye've got quite some influence on me charas, knew that? They did as ye told them! ^_~… ye know, 'bout the fav chapter thing, I tried te chose one but *sweatdrops* I couldn't! maybe it's coz I've written them an' all that, but when I say "aye, this is me fav" an' then read another one I'm not so sure anymore ^^UU… well, one thing I'm sure o', an' that is, I love the last scene… I just hope it didn't disappoint ye ppl! Hehe, funny how the plot thickens just a chapter ere the last one an' the epilogue ^^U… I hope ye liked it as well, yer opinion is really somethin' girl *nods seriously* an' I do feel very happy te know ye like me stuff ^___^ *hugglez* ye got me mail? hope te read more from ye soon love, thanks gazillions fer reviewin'!!!! *grins widely*
Burnt Ashes: *sighs* look at how many ppl were on holidays an' me here slave o' books… Y.Y, but, LOL! *looks at poor Van's cap an' bursts out laughin'* poor thing… ah, I must say the lyrics were quite discouragin', ne? *shakes head* that's why I didn't include them 'nymore in this final chapter, coz in the song the two don't get together… an' here they do *grins widely* they are quite pessimistic coz they reflect Van's thoughts an' emotions, an' he really believes that she won't see him, ever *hugs Van* now, this chapter was another proof o' how wrong guys are sometimes ^^… I'd 'ave liked te set Eries up with someone but I think she feels just okay bein' single fer the moment, so in the end it's just 3 couples ^____^
Athar-Luna: *grins* aaah! So I really wanted te 'ave somethin' different, Allen fallin' fer Hitomi wouldn't 'ave been that much o' a change from other stuff I'd read, so I wanted te write somethin' unexpected… an' seems I succeeded, aye! *grins widely*… aah, the lyrics! Oops, I said it in ev'ry single chapter an' forgot te put it in this one *sweatdrops* sorry… it's Sarah Brightman's "She Doesn't See Him", one o' the songs that inspired the ficcie ^_^ an' the lyrics are really touchin' an' beautiful (read below all this, I copied the entire song if ye wanna check ^^)… I hope ye liked the update an' how this finished *smiles* thanks millions fer yer reviews, they're a delight te read!!
Starry Eyed Wonder: Ahh *grins
so much her cheeks hurt* blimey, ye know ye could write down a study o'
me fic?! Yer comprehension an' subtlety when ye read, pickin' up all the
details, drinkin' in all the secret an' double meanings will never cease
te amaze me, ye're the best reader one could ask fer!!! *gives sis a medal*
an' *sweatdrops* most amazin', ye actually get connections I hadn't even
figured out meself while I was writin' it! *shakes head in astonishment*
megod, the filly with the blinders!! *bangs head on desk* really, I think
from the very same moment I post the chapter I'm lookin' forward te getting'
yer review, gosh, are ye sure yer parents didn't lie te ye?? Are ye really
14 sis?? *frowns an' examines sis from head te toe*
Grow up, give up Esca? *looks sheepish*
ohmegosh, then I stopped growin' at 14 -_-U… bwah, nonsense! Once ye lose
the ability te dream, ye're doomed in a world that's so downright cynical
(^^U me here bein' an' example) an'… despaired in a way, that if we also
forget our hopes an' dreams, we'll grow up into bored adults who don't
know how te enjoy themselves anymore. Next time someone tells me that I
may advise him te revise his conscience an' tell me if he really wants
te 'ave a 80-year-old spirit in a relatively young body… *sighs* nah, all
this was fer… eh, what was the thing? ^^U *sobs* me memory is getting'
worse an' worse Y.Y
LOL!! *rolls on the floor laughin'
like mad* ohgosh girl, corny jokes huh? *bursts into giggles again* ah,
I also loved the "comfortin'" part, I can even hear his voice sayin' that
in me head with the exact tone I'd use there… ahh, love growin' exponentially,
lol! Ah, a mathematical quote I can definitely learn te love xD
Allen *shakes head* I really could've
gone fer the typical portray o' the guy, but it would've been so… I dunno,
so munched ere this fic… I mean, I've read tons o' fics where Allen's bashed
shamelessly, but I guess I wanted te show some o' normal ppl's complexities…
meh, I also HATED him fer kissin' Tomi in Esca *sobs again* I swear I thought
they were goin' te end up together, I was this close te not
wantin' te watch Esca finish coz I couldn't bear the thought o' seein'
Van heartbroken because o' Tomi… T___T…
Hehe, as ye see I followed yer advice
an' below this there's the link te the page *bites lip* oh well, what's
done's done *puffs chest* so better be proud o' what one has done, ne?
^^UU
U_U another bible-length reply…
well, I'm gone now te pack all me stuff fer college tomorrow… *sob sob*
I'm writin' this coz t'morrow I 'ave practical lessons in the afternoon
an' would 'ave no time te write all this… ohhgosh, I already miss ye girl!!
College start is depressin'… btw, did ye get "Runaway Princess"?^___~ love
ya lots, sis!!! *hugs bearishly* d-teddy also says Hi, met her a few minutes
ago on the msn *grins like mad*
dreamingofflyingaway: ooohoo! Away on holidays? Coolness! I was chained te me hw T.T an' technically still am *grumbles* but I'm sooo glad ye liked the chapters *grins like mad* aye aye, Van is adorable, drool-able, huggable… I would go on with slightly spicier words but I might as well just stop there ^^UU… 'nywhoo, thanks so much, I'd thought ye'd disappeared coz o' somethin' ye hadn't liked o' the fic an' was worryin', so I was really happy te get yer review! ^____^
Prince(ss) of Hell: aye aye *nods wildly* they actually do mean it ^^, each an' ev'ry single one o'em… had te do some research on the subject, ye can look it up on the net, if ye want me te I could give ye some o' the internet addresses I got the information from, or e-mail ye some lists *sighs* I really 'ave quite some aft this fic ^^U… aye *checks day* Wednesday! Thankiez fer the review, made me really happy… an' as ye see, Van got more than a hug ^__~!!
Tenika Dargan: *blushes an' grins shyly* thanks so much!! Ohgosh *rolls on the floor laughin'* Dilly an' Merle *shakes head* definitely can't picture them together now… ^^U I changed the summary an' specified it was Dry&Mill just in case *sweatdrops* blimey, I hadn't thought o' that… so aye, this is the final chapter an' then there's the epilogue *grins* I love that word, heart-warmer… ^__^ thanks millions fer the review!!
SabineballZ: *sweatdrops* noo food, plz… see? I solved it all right ^_~ hehe, hope ye liked it girl!! He didn't make too much o' an idiot, ne? *grins widely an' hugs Van* he's simply adorable…
AN/ MWAHAHAHAHAA!!!! *hides behind
Naria –her dog-* I love that part!!!!!!! *sighs an' melts in a pool o'
drool* aaahhh!! Van is so so sweeeeet!!!!!!!!! ^_____________^ I was grinnin'
like an idiot when writin' it… well… no… 'twas 3AM so I was more like yawnin',
but I did get really emotional *wipes a tear* dream-like Van… *sighs in
utter bliss* in fact I still do, ev'ry time I read that last scene… I think
I've fallen in love with me chara ^^U…
Well well, so this is the final
chapter… but, I've got an epilogue comin' 'round in other 3 days (if I've
survived the first half week o' college *groans*) which is very reflective,
more… I guess one could say more with a deeper meaning, it's 'bout love
told from a different perspective… I do hope ye read it too *looks hopefully
at me dear readers*
An' oh, then, thanks te b-teddy's
suggestion, I'm errr… *bites lip* postin' an experimental… um, surprise
^^U… which I, um, wrote some time afterwards which is a, er, a lemon *blushes
a bit* that follows just that scene… if ye're brave lasses an' lads an'
wanna check it, I posted it up here *bites nails*…
www. geocities .com / ryuuyume / straw .html (with no spaces -_- 'tis the only way te make ff.net actually displaye the blasted address... *grumbles*)
Sara Brightman - She doesn't see
him (included in the album "La Luna" ^_^)
When she passes him by
She's a ray of light
Like the first drop of sun
From the sky
And he knows she's a queen
Who deserves a king
But he is not a king
And she doesn't see him
When she dances
She moves him to a smile
He sees everything
Near her shine
There's a grace in her ways
That he can't contain
He has not that grace
Oh, he has not that grace
And the closer he gets
He can't help but hide
So ashamed
Of his body and voice
There are boundaries
We pass in spite of the war
But our own
We can't seem to cross
He has a way that surrounds him
So delicate
With a glory that reigns in his
life
He is also so much that he is not
These things they don't see
And she doesn't see him
Oh-oh-oh ...
And she doesn't see him
There are things we can change
If we just choose to fight
But the walls of injustice are high
When she passes him by
She's a ray of light
Like the first drop of sun
From the sky
And he knows she's a queen
Who deserves a king
Someone other than him
So different from him
Oh-oh-oh ...
She doesn't see him
Oh-oh-oh ...
She doesn't see him
She doesn't see him
So, I'd say it does fit, doesn't
it??? ^_______^ I so love the song… along with one by "The Corrs", "Somebody
for someone" , those two were the spark that became, with the flower idea,
what the fic is now.