Purple Swirly Thing Part Two: Meetings
~~
Reviewer Response:
I-Am-Bug: Yeah, Chekov thought he had a brother named Piotr in the Third Season's Day Of The Dove. Because he had a virus or something, he thought the Klingons had killed Piotr. I think it was Sulu who pointed out that Chekov didn't even HAVE a brother.
TrekkieGirl: Thank you. And please keep up with your extreme randomness.
Tavia: Thanks! That cheered me up a lot! And thnks for saying I could have a cameo in Chicken Noodle Soup!
Broken Infinity: Thank you. And keep up with the ramblings and logical answers.
~~
Voice From Somewhere In The Ceiling: Previously on Enterprise. . .
Uhura: We're not Enterprise.
Voice: Beg pardon? What? Whatcha mean?
Sulu: We're TOS. Enterprise is Archer's territory.
Voice: Don't cheek me you sword swinging stupid Japanese person! I should know which show I'm narrating!
Chekov(puzzled): Ve don't haff a Narrator. You must be thinking of Pearl Girl and Alania.
Voice: Oh. Okay. Sorry. Bye.
Kirk(briefly appearing from Back Stage): Stop. Talking. Like. Me.
Voice: O.k.
Sulu: Argh! God made two of 'em!
Chekov: Um, can ve get back to the plot now?
Rand: What plot?
Scotty: What're you doing here? This is season four! Offa me Bridge!
Spock: Mr. Scott, you are not in charge of the ship. I am.
Scotty: Are YOU the one who has to fix things whenever they break? No! It's me; it's always me! And people think I enjoy this sorta thing. . .sniff. . .
All: Sigh.
~~
[On TNG]
[The Entire Bridge Crew are sprawled on the floor, unconscious.]
Picard(waking up): What happened? Urgh! My head.
Troi: Yes. Urgh, your head. Get a wig.
Piacrd: Never! I will not become a Monkee look-alike! They suck!
Chekov(from Backstage): HEY!
Riker: Where are we?
Data: Lying sprawled out on the floor next to a man who has just used the most clichéd line in history.
Riker: Aside that, where are we?
Geordi: Right in the middle of the Purple Swirly Thing.
Riker: Joy.
~~
[DS9]
Bashir: Sir, we're now in the Purple Swirly Thing. Oh, and your wifes not dead. Oh, and Odo's just found his true parents. Oh, and-
Sisko: Dammit Bashir, this is a Science Fiction Program, not a soap opera!
Dax: Apparently not. According to the sensors, there are hundreds of television programs out there, all bumping into each other. . .
Sisko: LIKE?
Dax: Noddy's just met Walking With Dinosaurs. OUCH! That must have hurt. Oh, and Doctor Who has just ran into Sooty.
Sisko: Meh. Not my problem.
Bashir(growling): It will be in a minute. . .
~~
[VOY]
Paris: Well, we're in the Nebula. Congrats, everyone. We're doomed.
Janeway: Pfft. Does it LOOK like we've been crushed into tiny pieces, Mr. Paris?
Paris: Not really. But, then again, I could have died and gone to hell.
Kim: Are you saying you don't like being stuck out here in Space, with thousands of un-explored planets and galaxies?
Paris(confused): No, that's you.
Kim: Oh yeah.
~~
[TOS]
Chekov: Ve're goink to die!
Sulu: 56. . .
Chekov: Ve're goink to really die!
Sulu: 57. . .
Chekov: Stop countink how many times I've said that! It'll just make me panic more!
Sulu: Hmm. . .? Oh, I'm not counting that. I'm counting how many veins are standing out on McCoy's neck, and also, at the same time, the possibility of him threatening you with a physical.
[Chekov looks at McCoy. And gets scared.]
Chekov: I'm goink to die.
Sulu: That's the spirit!
Spock: Mr. Sulu, I believe I am the appointed mathematician. There is no way your puny Earthling brain could ever outsmart mine.
Sulu(pouting): I was a mathe. . .scien. . .I was some guy who does math in the pilot episode!
Spock(muttering to himself): And you wonder why you got transferred to the Helm. . .
Scotty: What're we going to do?
Spock: How should I know?
Scotty: You're in charge.
Spock: That is not Logical.
McCoy: it is, dammit! Now, do something!
Spock: Like what? Until This Side Of Paradise, I am just an information relayer person whatsit.
McCoy: Eh?
Spock: Until "This Side Of Paradise", season one, episode 25, I have no background history.
McCoy: You did in the "Menagerie", parts one and two.
Spock: Touche. But I am not worthy of you. You had your background history set in Season One, Episode six.
Chekov(to Sulu): Vhat're ve doink? Settink up a plot or describing past episodes?
Sulu: How should I know? I didn't get any exposition until. . .um. . .never, actually. Whereas you got some in Day of the Dove and The Way to Eden! [Suddenly angry] I'll kill you!
Chekov: Eek!
Uhura(to camera): Tune into next weeks exiting episode, where something actually happens!
Kirk(coming onto bridge and muttering): So, he was lying about the chick. . .[looking up and taking in the scene: McCoy and Spock actually getting along, Sulu strangling Chekov, Uhura talking to the camera guy, Rand crying, Scotty overdosing on Whiskey] Gee gads! I've only been away one chapter! Look at all the horror and destruction! [Grabs remote control from Author, who is standing by camera guy. Hits pause. Everything freezes.]
Kirk: Alrighty. Time to get to work!
[Kirk goes to McCoy and gives him a large club. He then raises the Doctor's arms so that the Club is hovering above Spock's head. He then goes over to Sulu, removes the Asian's hands, then gives him and Chekov a bunch of flowers and a Star Trek encyclopaedia. Kirk then goes over to Rand, picks up all of the coffee she's spilt on the floor, put the broken cups on the tray, hands the tray to her, then goes over to Scotty, takes the whiskey bottle and smashes it over his head. Finally he shoots the Camera guy and sits in his Captain's chair.]
Kirk(pointing the remote): Play!
Scotty: Ow.
Camera Guy: GAK!
Uhura: Dammit! I liked that. . .whoever he was.
Rand: Hmm? [Abruptly drops the tray again]
Sulu: Pavel! You shouldn't have - wait a minute. . .[looks suspicious] these are my begonias! My prize begonias! You die now!
Chekov: Vait, you picked some for me too!
Sulu: Oh, right. Bummer.
Kirk: Everything's back to normal.
Uhura: Um, Captain, some bald guy's hailing us.
Kirk: Uh oh.
[A/N]: Hahahaha! TBC, my Trekkies, TBC!!
~~
Reviewer Response:
I-Am-Bug: Yeah, Chekov thought he had a brother named Piotr in the Third Season's Day Of The Dove. Because he had a virus or something, he thought the Klingons had killed Piotr. I think it was Sulu who pointed out that Chekov didn't even HAVE a brother.
TrekkieGirl: Thank you. And please keep up with your extreme randomness.
Tavia: Thanks! That cheered me up a lot! And thnks for saying I could have a cameo in Chicken Noodle Soup!
Broken Infinity: Thank you. And keep up with the ramblings and logical answers.
~~
Voice From Somewhere In The Ceiling: Previously on Enterprise. . .
Uhura: We're not Enterprise.
Voice: Beg pardon? What? Whatcha mean?
Sulu: We're TOS. Enterprise is Archer's territory.
Voice: Don't cheek me you sword swinging stupid Japanese person! I should know which show I'm narrating!
Chekov(puzzled): Ve don't haff a Narrator. You must be thinking of Pearl Girl and Alania.
Voice: Oh. Okay. Sorry. Bye.
Kirk(briefly appearing from Back Stage): Stop. Talking. Like. Me.
Voice: O.k.
Sulu: Argh! God made two of 'em!
Chekov: Um, can ve get back to the plot now?
Rand: What plot?
Scotty: What're you doing here? This is season four! Offa me Bridge!
Spock: Mr. Scott, you are not in charge of the ship. I am.
Scotty: Are YOU the one who has to fix things whenever they break? No! It's me; it's always me! And people think I enjoy this sorta thing. . .sniff. . .
All: Sigh.
~~
[On TNG]
[The Entire Bridge Crew are sprawled on the floor, unconscious.]
Picard(waking up): What happened? Urgh! My head.
Troi: Yes. Urgh, your head. Get a wig.
Piacrd: Never! I will not become a Monkee look-alike! They suck!
Chekov(from Backstage): HEY!
Riker: Where are we?
Data: Lying sprawled out on the floor next to a man who has just used the most clichéd line in history.
Riker: Aside that, where are we?
Geordi: Right in the middle of the Purple Swirly Thing.
Riker: Joy.
~~
[DS9]
Bashir: Sir, we're now in the Purple Swirly Thing. Oh, and your wifes not dead. Oh, and Odo's just found his true parents. Oh, and-
Sisko: Dammit Bashir, this is a Science Fiction Program, not a soap opera!
Dax: Apparently not. According to the sensors, there are hundreds of television programs out there, all bumping into each other. . .
Sisko: LIKE?
Dax: Noddy's just met Walking With Dinosaurs. OUCH! That must have hurt. Oh, and Doctor Who has just ran into Sooty.
Sisko: Meh. Not my problem.
Bashir(growling): It will be in a minute. . .
~~
[VOY]
Paris: Well, we're in the Nebula. Congrats, everyone. We're doomed.
Janeway: Pfft. Does it LOOK like we've been crushed into tiny pieces, Mr. Paris?
Paris: Not really. But, then again, I could have died and gone to hell.
Kim: Are you saying you don't like being stuck out here in Space, with thousands of un-explored planets and galaxies?
Paris(confused): No, that's you.
Kim: Oh yeah.
~~
[TOS]
Chekov: Ve're goink to die!
Sulu: 56. . .
Chekov: Ve're goink to really die!
Sulu: 57. . .
Chekov: Stop countink how many times I've said that! It'll just make me panic more!
Sulu: Hmm. . .? Oh, I'm not counting that. I'm counting how many veins are standing out on McCoy's neck, and also, at the same time, the possibility of him threatening you with a physical.
[Chekov looks at McCoy. And gets scared.]
Chekov: I'm goink to die.
Sulu: That's the spirit!
Spock: Mr. Sulu, I believe I am the appointed mathematician. There is no way your puny Earthling brain could ever outsmart mine.
Sulu(pouting): I was a mathe. . .scien. . .I was some guy who does math in the pilot episode!
Spock(muttering to himself): And you wonder why you got transferred to the Helm. . .
Scotty: What're we going to do?
Spock: How should I know?
Scotty: You're in charge.
Spock: That is not Logical.
McCoy: it is, dammit! Now, do something!
Spock: Like what? Until This Side Of Paradise, I am just an information relayer person whatsit.
McCoy: Eh?
Spock: Until "This Side Of Paradise", season one, episode 25, I have no background history.
McCoy: You did in the "Menagerie", parts one and two.
Spock: Touche. But I am not worthy of you. You had your background history set in Season One, Episode six.
Chekov(to Sulu): Vhat're ve doink? Settink up a plot or describing past episodes?
Sulu: How should I know? I didn't get any exposition until. . .um. . .never, actually. Whereas you got some in Day of the Dove and The Way to Eden! [Suddenly angry] I'll kill you!
Chekov: Eek!
Uhura(to camera): Tune into next weeks exiting episode, where something actually happens!
Kirk(coming onto bridge and muttering): So, he was lying about the chick. . .[looking up and taking in the scene: McCoy and Spock actually getting along, Sulu strangling Chekov, Uhura talking to the camera guy, Rand crying, Scotty overdosing on Whiskey] Gee gads! I've only been away one chapter! Look at all the horror and destruction! [Grabs remote control from Author, who is standing by camera guy. Hits pause. Everything freezes.]
Kirk: Alrighty. Time to get to work!
[Kirk goes to McCoy and gives him a large club. He then raises the Doctor's arms so that the Club is hovering above Spock's head. He then goes over to Sulu, removes the Asian's hands, then gives him and Chekov a bunch of flowers and a Star Trek encyclopaedia. Kirk then goes over to Rand, picks up all of the coffee she's spilt on the floor, put the broken cups on the tray, hands the tray to her, then goes over to Scotty, takes the whiskey bottle and smashes it over his head. Finally he shoots the Camera guy and sits in his Captain's chair.]
Kirk(pointing the remote): Play!
Scotty: Ow.
Camera Guy: GAK!
Uhura: Dammit! I liked that. . .whoever he was.
Rand: Hmm? [Abruptly drops the tray again]
Sulu: Pavel! You shouldn't have - wait a minute. . .[looks suspicious] these are my begonias! My prize begonias! You die now!
Chekov: Vait, you picked some for me too!
Sulu: Oh, right. Bummer.
Kirk: Everything's back to normal.
Uhura: Um, Captain, some bald guy's hailing us.
Kirk: Uh oh.
[A/N]: Hahahaha! TBC, my Trekkies, TBC!!