The Purple Swirly Crossover Part Five: Something Actually Happens.
~~
Reviewer Replies:
Yami-Chan and Unrealistic: I love 'em all too.
Broken Infinity: Thanks! And keep going with the Katras.
I-Am-Bug: Yes, he has a habit of dying, doesn't he?
Mzsnaz: They fwighten me too....
~~
[TOS: Cargo Hold]
Scotty: I'm ready to beam over.
Kirk: What? Huh? Where? How'd I get here? When did we get a cargo hold?
Scotty: I dunno. D'you want these people or not?
Kirk: Which people?
Spock: That's it, I'm taking over.
Kirk: Mutiny! I'LL KILL YOU!
Spock: Nah, you wont. [Neck pinch]
Kirk: Ow.
Spock: Alright. Energize, Scotty.
Scotty: Wait a tic, how can I be here when the transporter controls are in the Transporter Room?
Spock: Just do as I say, mortal.
[TNG: Shuttle]
Troi: I am sensing a Transporter Beam...
Riker(who is slowly turning into pixels): No, really?
Troi: Yes. I am also sensing aggression and fear.
Riker: That's it, when I re-energize I'm gonna kill you!
Red Shirts: (Cower)
[DS9: Shuttle]
Odo(the shapeshifter who is now a potted cactus): Hmm....looks like that Federation Shuttle over there is on a collision course with the cardboard ship...
Basir(looking around): Who said that? What cardboard ship?
Dax: That cardboard ship! [Slowly starts turning into pixels) Uh oh.
[VOY: Shuttle]
Chakotay: Right, I think I almost got it now!
Tuvok: Too late, we're gonna crash.
Chakotay: Oh yeah. Oops.
Seven: I'd kill you, but that's just not the Borg way.
Chakotay: What is?
Seven: Assimilating your mind into out collectiveness. You stupidity will be added to our own.
[TOS: Shuttle Bay. Slowly, pixel people are starting to appear]
Sulu: You'd think that the Author would have given us a decent budget by now...
Spock: She cannot. She spends all the budget money on Manga and Anime. And Star Trek, of course,
Chekov: Vhat's Star Trek?
Spock: Erm...nothing.
Riker(appearing in a shower of pixels): ...and another thing, Troi, that cat suit you wear isn't a scratch on Sevens...wait, where'd she go?
Spock: Greetings from the planet Earth.
Riker: You're not human.
Spock: So? I've always wanted to say that...
Tuvok: Fascinating. I am not dead.
Spock: I agree.
Kirk(coming round): Gee gads, not another Vulcan! ARGH!
Chekov(reassuringly): Jut be glad there are no Tribbles around.
Kirk: ARRRRRRRGGGGHHH! (Gets up and runs around the hall)
Sulu: Well that's just great. Way to go.
Dax: This is strange.
Chakotay: And I almost had the hang of that!
Sulu: Of what?
Chakotay: Driving the shuttle!
Sulu: PILOTING!
Chakotay: Whatever.
Troi: I am sensing déjà vu...
Seven Of Nine(walking up to Spock, knowing he is in charge): We are the Federation. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
Spock: We are the Federation also. Welcome to the Enterprise.
Riker(bemused): This isn't the Enterprise.
Spock: Is.
Riker: Isn't.
Spock: Is.
Riker: Isn't.
Spock: I fail to see where this argument is going. This is the Enterprise under the command of Captain Kirk.
[Everyone looks at the hysterical Kirk who is running in circles screaming.]
Red Shirt From TNG #1: I get it! I died and this is hell!
[A speck of dust lands on his nose. He sneezes himself to death.]
Red Shirt From TNG #2: ...Maybe not.
Kirk(stopping beside Spock): Okay. I'm in charge and I'm putting you all under arrest.
All From other Ships: ?
Kirk: Because you're on my ship and...because...I don't like any of you. Nyaa-nyaa.
All From Other Ships: Damn it.
~~
Reviewer Replies:
Yami-Chan and Unrealistic: I love 'em all too.
Broken Infinity: Thanks! And keep going with the Katras.
I-Am-Bug: Yes, he has a habit of dying, doesn't he?
Mzsnaz: They fwighten me too....
~~
[TOS: Cargo Hold]
Scotty: I'm ready to beam over.
Kirk: What? Huh? Where? How'd I get here? When did we get a cargo hold?
Scotty: I dunno. D'you want these people or not?
Kirk: Which people?
Spock: That's it, I'm taking over.
Kirk: Mutiny! I'LL KILL YOU!
Spock: Nah, you wont. [Neck pinch]
Kirk: Ow.
Spock: Alright. Energize, Scotty.
Scotty: Wait a tic, how can I be here when the transporter controls are in the Transporter Room?
Spock: Just do as I say, mortal.
[TNG: Shuttle]
Troi: I am sensing a Transporter Beam...
Riker(who is slowly turning into pixels): No, really?
Troi: Yes. I am also sensing aggression and fear.
Riker: That's it, when I re-energize I'm gonna kill you!
Red Shirts: (Cower)
[DS9: Shuttle]
Odo(the shapeshifter who is now a potted cactus): Hmm....looks like that Federation Shuttle over there is on a collision course with the cardboard ship...
Basir(looking around): Who said that? What cardboard ship?
Dax: That cardboard ship! [Slowly starts turning into pixels) Uh oh.
[VOY: Shuttle]
Chakotay: Right, I think I almost got it now!
Tuvok: Too late, we're gonna crash.
Chakotay: Oh yeah. Oops.
Seven: I'd kill you, but that's just not the Borg way.
Chakotay: What is?
Seven: Assimilating your mind into out collectiveness. You stupidity will be added to our own.
[TOS: Shuttle Bay. Slowly, pixel people are starting to appear]
Sulu: You'd think that the Author would have given us a decent budget by now...
Spock: She cannot. She spends all the budget money on Manga and Anime. And Star Trek, of course,
Chekov: Vhat's Star Trek?
Spock: Erm...nothing.
Riker(appearing in a shower of pixels): ...and another thing, Troi, that cat suit you wear isn't a scratch on Sevens...wait, where'd she go?
Spock: Greetings from the planet Earth.
Riker: You're not human.
Spock: So? I've always wanted to say that...
Tuvok: Fascinating. I am not dead.
Spock: I agree.
Kirk(coming round): Gee gads, not another Vulcan! ARGH!
Chekov(reassuringly): Jut be glad there are no Tribbles around.
Kirk: ARRRRRRRGGGGHHH! (Gets up and runs around the hall)
Sulu: Well that's just great. Way to go.
Dax: This is strange.
Chakotay: And I almost had the hang of that!
Sulu: Of what?
Chakotay: Driving the shuttle!
Sulu: PILOTING!
Chakotay: Whatever.
Troi: I am sensing déjà vu...
Seven Of Nine(walking up to Spock, knowing he is in charge): We are the Federation. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.
Spock: We are the Federation also. Welcome to the Enterprise.
Riker(bemused): This isn't the Enterprise.
Spock: Is.
Riker: Isn't.
Spock: Is.
Riker: Isn't.
Spock: I fail to see where this argument is going. This is the Enterprise under the command of Captain Kirk.
[Everyone looks at the hysterical Kirk who is running in circles screaming.]
Red Shirt From TNG #1: I get it! I died and this is hell!
[A speck of dust lands on his nose. He sneezes himself to death.]
Red Shirt From TNG #2: ...Maybe not.
Kirk(stopping beside Spock): Okay. I'm in charge and I'm putting you all under arrest.
All From other Ships: ?
Kirk: Because you're on my ship and...because...I don't like any of you. Nyaa-nyaa.
All From Other Ships: Damn it.