By Jane Doe
Disclaimer: I do not have any part in the ownership of CSI.
Author's Note: This is partly the product of reflection and a need for basic resolution, but made mostly to get my mind away from other things. I know you may be wondering how a fic can be both angst and funny without the author having a sick sense of humor. Well, I don't think that is the case...but I wrote it. : D Anyway, I hope this humor fic holds up well against the mold, as does the angst I slid into it. Please take the time to send a review if you can. Thanks.
Ch. 1: That Game We Play. [sara pov]
Nick Stokes has been my friend since we met almost four years prior, but right now I'm so miserable I'm wondering if it wasn't a conspiracy from the beginning. When I consider Nick's personality, it really is no surprise that he called us together on the eve of the new year to play a "friendly" game of cards. However I surprised myself by showing up. I was promised it would just be me, Warrick, and Nick but got Catherine and Grissom as icing on the cake. I think you can understand my moodiness.
Looking at Nick now, I think I know why he wanted us together though. He's always thought it was his job to make everyone happy. Most recently he has taken the task to an extreme. With his cases he seems more apt to build a relationship with the victim's families even if they are only temporary and time consuming. I thought perhaps his behavior was due to the promotion he and I are aiming for. It would set him apart from me, certainly, but as a friend I'm really worried it's going to do more harm than good in the long run. This job isn't glamorous and it doesn't always bring the resolution the family or we want. I'm just concerned Nick may get pulled in too many directions at once by playing hero.
Back to the point, we all had simply grown apart. Although I consider Nick a close friend, we have become strictly business nowadays. Catherine and I can't seem to connect without butting heads first. Something has been eating away at Warrick too, but he's not forthcoming. And finally, Grissom and I haven't shared an enjoyable conversation in months. The distance between us is so great though I don't want anything to do with him.
"I just wanted to start a new tradition, man. Now quit buggin' me." Nick explains breaking me from my thoughtful reverie.
"Hey, I'm all for it. Anything that allows me to play cards while on duty is fine with me." Warrick says sitting down between me and Catherine.
"I'm glad you rounded us up, too. I think we can all realize how far we've distanced ourselves." Catherine says softly.
Nick gives this cowboy calendar smile. "Well, thanks."
I resist the urge to sigh with annoyance. Leave it to her to state the painfully obvious and feel special about it. Been there done that, Cath. Got anything worth listening to?
I shouldn't be so bitter. She's really a good person with good intentions. Listen to me, I feel guilty for having thoughts!
I glance at my watch. I hope this doesn't take long. I don't know how long I can keep up the false pretenses and regulate my thoughts. Who knows, maybe I can make up an excuse to get out of here after the New Year toast. That's three hours away though. Damn.
"Got somewhere else to be Sara?" Warrick asks tapping on the back of my chair.
When I look up, Grissom has stopped shuffling the cards and is staring at me. I meet his eyes challengingly, but he drops his eyes continuing to shuffle. I turn to Warrick.
"Oh, no." I say. "Just checking the time."
And how long I'll last under Grissom's watchful eyes, I add silently.
"What's everyone doing for New Year's tomorrow?" Nick asks looking around the table.
"Lindsay and I are going shopping."
Nick nods. "Warrick, what you doing?"
"Nothing. I usually helped down at the rec-center. They did a meal program for the community."
He pauses.
We all remember what happened.
He shrugs it off nicely. "I suppose I finally get to enjoy the day relaxing."
"Sara?" Nick prods.
For some reason my eyes immediately go to Grissom. His head is down and he continues to ignore me with great ease. I want to say something daring to see if I can get a response out of him. But why bother? I'd rather just go unnoticed. Right?
"I don't know." I say truthfully. "It's my first New Year's Day off work."
"Oh no what will she do?" he teases.
I smile scornfully, yet playfully. "Shut up, Nick."
His smile widens in a familiar brotherly way. "Yes ma'am. You have any plans Grissom?"
He finally peels his eyes from the deck of cards. "Work, as usual. The start of the new year's murder cases."
"Well, that's a perfect picture you've painted for us." Catherine drips with sarcasm. "Don't hold back, after all it is a holiday and we aren't supposed to be happy."
We all smile except Grissom.
"Shall we play cards?" He asks looking at each of us.
I have the feeling he doesn't want to be here. He isn't on call like Warrick and Nick in case anything happens tonight, but usually he would have stayed at CSI anyway. I wonder why he came. Catherine may have gotten him here but something else had to draw him. I know it wasn't me.
"Grissom, if you shuffle the cards one more time..." she says in a warning tone.
He gives the deck of cards one last shuffle then deals without a word.
"Thank you." She says leaning back in her chair holding her cards. "Thank you so much."
I look over and she protectively guards her hand. "No cheating Sara."
"Why would I cheat at a game I don't even like or care to win?" I ask suddenly aware of how wrong that came out. She doesn't seem to notice.
Warrick chuckles. "Sounds like someone can't play poker."
I frown and look at my cards. "It's a game of chance and therefore no skill is necessary."
"Yup, she can't play." Nick says arranging his cards. "It's like this Sara. If you've got skill you can bluff and win the pot. That has nothing to do with chance."
"It has something to do with chance." I say it nonchalantly, but when it catches Grissom attention I try to make my case. "It takes five people to play a good game of poker. The odds that everyone has nothing are slim, as well as the odds that everyone is holding a winning hand. The majority of the time three players will fold and two remain if the stakes are high. I agree that good bluffing can lead to a win but it is really about the odds against and for you."
Nick stares at me so blankly I cannot resist a tired smile.
"Two things: you suck the life out of a fun opportunity and in the end you agreed with me. No wonder Grissom calls you stubborn."
I turn to Grissom surprised by the slip. He continues to concentrate on his hand. I always knew he thought of me as stubborn, but he actually told someone? Even if it was just thinking out loud and Nick accidentally heard, for Grissom such an act is like admitting a feeling or thought with witnesses. Strange. Things just got really strange.
Grissom suddenly looks at me again and begins to talk but I can't hear him.
"Earth to Sara." Nick touches my arm.
I blink back to this space and time. "Yeah Nick."
He laughs. "How many cards you want?"
"Oh..." I glance at my cards. "Um, four."
"Are you sure?" Grissom asks in a superior tone.
I glare at him. I know he's supposed to be a great poker wizard but for some reason it bothers me that he can just dismiss what I want (double meaning intended).
"Yes. I want four." I finally say.
"It's a good idea to keep some cards. Using your own argument, your chances of getting four cards that are useful are very slim."
I press my lips into a thin line. "Thanks for the tip Grissom but I want four."
He meets me with his own glare of stubbornness. Warrick clears his throat sensing the tension that has crept into existence.
"Give the lady four." Warrick says merrily. "And I'll take one."
Four cards are laid in front of me without so much as a second glance. Oh this seems familiar. He is ignoring me.
"How was everyone's Christmas?" Warrick asks sending a bright thoughtful smile in my direction. "I went to my Gram's for the best food in Las Vegas after a delightful shift with Grissom."
"Did you get your cheeks pinched?" Catherine teases.
"Yes but not the cheeks on my face," he says aligning his cards. "You got to understand, my Grams is always trying to set me up. She couldn't understand why I didn't want to leave my seat the whole time I was there."
I let myself smile. Warrick always knew how to make me laugh when Grissom upset me, a case got to me, or like now when I need the attention away from me. I wonder if he knows how much I appreciate the notion.
"Well how long have you been out of the dating scene? It can't be too long." Catherine asks.
"Oh now we're going there?"
She shrugs. "Just making pleasant conversation."
"I think we'll leave that topic as it lies." He smiles dropping a dime on the center of the table. "If you like to continue this conversation behind closed doors..."
"You wish." She throws him a sexy smile. "You ever play strip poker War?"
We all seem to loosen up a bit and allow ourselves to eagerly watch the scene play out.
Warrick begins to blush. "You wish, Catherine."
Nick whistles. "Is it getting really hot in here?"
"Can we play cards?" Grissom's annoyed voice cuts through the old familiarity. "Who's in?"
"Ah the Jack of All Trades speaks." Catherine says sarcastically. "Have you ever played strip poker Gris?"
"No." His tone is flat, without emotion.
"I bet you wish you have."
He seems embarrassed and shocked by the implications. I think Catherine may have crossed another narrow line. They all try they're best to fight back the laughter, but once Nick's chucking breaks through they all fall victim, even me. I cannot remember when I laughed with such an image in my head without wondering how it would affect me later. It's relieving somehow. If Catherine did cross a line I think it was worth it.
Then, I catch a moment's glimpse. I'm not even sure it happened, it was that quickly gone.
"Let's just play." He says reverting his focus back at his cards.
Everyone quiets down as they examine their hand except me. I shake my head. It must have been my imagination. Yeah, it was all wishful thinking because Grissom hasn't smile that big at me for a least a year. I was just wishful thinking.
Right?
_tbc_