Title: Changing Fates
by dytia

chapter 4: This Feeling

cannot sleep.. so, just have to write this down.

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The doctor had been satisfied with Makino's health and said that she can go home by tomorrow. Mama and papa were relieved by the news.

" That means we can go back to the village sooner than expected."
" Papa!! Do you mean you want to leave Onee-san alone here now that she have lost her memories?" asked Susumu.
" I think it is nothing to be worried about. After all, she have his friends and you, Susumu. And I think you are big enough to take care of yourself. You should not be much a burden to your sister."
" But.. Papa.. Mama.. don't you think it's a bit irresponsible?"
" Not at all. In fact, it is the best thing we could do. After all, we already paid this year's Eitoku fees. If she did not go, it'll be a waste!!" said Mama
" And we do not have to worry since we have Hanazawa Rui and Doumyouji-san to take care of Tsukushi," replied Papa agreeing with Mama.
" Yes.. And I heard that doumyouji's mama already gave her green light so there's no more obstacle. Our phoenix will rise again." Mama and papa chortled in laughter. In their heads.. visions of rich versions of themselves sunbathing in Hawaii.

Makino stared at her parents in disbelief. She looked at Susumu. Susumu smiled apologetically.

Are they really my parents?? Unbelievable.

" Are they always this way??"
" Worst.. much worst.." answered Susumu sullenly.

Knock... knock... Rui came into the room. Papa and Mama beamed at him as they excused themselves away. Seeing that Susumu did not budge from his seat, Mama grabbed him by his collar and dragged him out. After they were gone, Makino suddenly burst out laughing. Rui looked at her bemused.

" No... I was not laughing at you. It is just that.."
" It is just what?"
" Is it me or my parents are really weird?"
" I never think of your parents to be weird."
" Really.."

Silence.

Rui just sat there looking very thoughtful. Makino could not find anything to say.

" Err.. where did you go just now?"
" Hmm... what..?"
" Just now... You left after Kazuya, Shigeru and Yuki came..."
" Oo.. I left to get some air."

Makino nodded and stared down at her lap. There should be million things she wanted to say. Things she wanted to know. But why was it when it was with Rui, she found it hard to say it out loud.

" Rui.. "
" hmm.."
" Am I troubling you?"
" Why do you think so?"
" Because you looked troubled around me. Is something wrong? Did I do anything wrong?"
" No. It was not you."
" Then, what?"

Rui did not replied. He just stared at the other side of the room.

I don't understand. Was he always like this?

" I think you better go to sleep," said Rui as he went to the sofa on the other side of the room. Makino nodded and lay back on her pillow, facing Rui. As she watched Rui drift into his deep slumber, she silently thought how cute and peaceful he looked.

What am I to you? Why do you cared for me so much?

She shifted to the other side of the bed. She thought of the other guy. That tall guy who looked at her in that way. What was his name? Yes.. Doumyouji. I remember Shigeru calling him by that name. There was something familiar about that name. But he made her felt uncomfortable. Like she could not think properly when he was around. When he held her then, she felt...

This feeling.. I could not name. It was different from the one I felt when I was in Rui's arms. When I was in Rui's arms, I felt safe and peaceful. But with him... What was it?

She sighed.

I am thinking too much. I really should go to sleep.

But she could not forget that look on that guy's face. The way his face soften when he look at her. It lingered even after she closed her eyes. Even in her dreams, she could see it.

In her dreams.. She was on a hill overlooking the dark, velvet sky. There were stars. the moon was full. She was looking for something in the sky but don't know what. At the end she wanted to give up but that man with no face appeared and pointed towards something. She cannot really see what was it but she felt happy. So happy. She ran towards it but on the way she fell... and when she looked up.. that man was gone...

* * * *

" Tsukushi-chan!! Good morning!!"
" Good morning, Kazuya-kun. Where is Yuki & Shigeru?"
" Oh.. Shigeru have somewhere to go this morning. Nishikado said that he was going to pick up Yuki on his way here. Have you finished packing up?"
" Uhn.. Just a little bit more, I'm finished. Why are you here this early?"
" Today is Sunday. There is no school. Hmm... Where is Hanazawa Rui?"
" Oh.. the sofa was a bit uncomfortable so he said he wanted to go home and sleep for a little while."

Kazuya smiled happily. (Chan-su!!!!) " Yosh.. Let me help you, Tsukushi-chan."
" Really... Kazuya... you don't have to..." Too late.

At Yuki's house.

Yuki can hear Sojirou's car waiting for her outside. She knew it was stupid of her saying yes to Sojirou's urging.

Flashback to the day before:

After visiting Makino, Yuki was waiting for the bus all alone. Shigeru's driver came to pick her up. She offered to give Yuki a lift but Yuki declined. As she wait for the bus, a very familiar sports car stopped in front of her.

" Nishikado-kun,"
" Yuki, can I drive you home?"
" But.."
" I need to talk to you about Makino. Please. And it looked it's going to rain too."

I don't know what possessed me as I climbed into Nishikado-kun's passenger seat. In this car, I always wonder about the girls he used to date in this car.. the things they do together...

" Yuki.." She was startled.. " Yes.. I am sorry, Nishikado-kun... What is it that you want to talk about?"
" Actually.. I just want to talk to you. In the hospital it is hard to get you alone."
" Oh.. I thought you want to talk about Tsukushi."
" That.. and the fact that I have not thank you. For what you did for me. For finding that building."
" Oh.. that.. it is nothing."
" I am sorry that I yelled at you at that time. It is just that I don't want to remember it anymore. What happened between her and me is in the past."
" But.. at least now you will never have to wonder what was it she wanted to say. I thought that it is better to know that being left to wonder for the rest of your life."

Sojirou shrugged, " Perhaps you are right."
" About Tsukushi-senpai.."
" Tomorrow, I told Kazuya to bring her around school after this. After that, we planned to drive her around Tokyo to help her remember anything. We might drop by at the dango shop, is that okay."
" Yeah.. I guess so..."

And that was it... The rest of the drive, both of them remained silent. Yuki reminded herself not to expect anything from Sojirou. But is it wrong to hope? Yuki was startled when Sojirou suddenly stopped.

" Oh.. we have arrived. Thank you for the lift."
Just as Yuki was leaving, Sojirou called after her. " Yuki!!"
" Nani??" Sojirou smiled (*hearts*)
" Nice hair cut.."
" Huh.."
" Your hair.. You looked cute with short hair."
" Don't you think it is too short??"
" Nope.. I think it suits you. Ja ne."

With that, he drove off. Leaving a very confused Yuki contemplating on what he just said.

He said that I looked cute.

And it made her happy to hear that. A light drizzle started to fall over her but she took no notice of it. She look up into the sky and shouted, " Kami-sama.. thank you for today!!"

Back to the present...

As she walked outside, to her surprise Sojirou was not alone. Akira & Shigeru was also with him (me: hehe.. who else do you think? His weekly conquest??).

" Shigeru-san, I thought you are coming straight to the hospital."
" Nope.. I think it is better for us to come together and Rui will bring the other car so after this we will have lots of fun together driving all around Tokyo."
" But there is no use if Doumyouji still refuse to come with us," Akira groaned heavily.
" Ara.. he's not coming?" Shigeru cocked her head to one side thinking really hard.
" I still think he would come. I told him about our plans for today. Knowing Doumyouji, I'll bet he'll suddenly show up somewhere least expected."
" Okay.. next stop.. the hospital."

Back at the hospital..

Makino was trying to find the doctor to asked for he discharge slip but she could not find him Oh well.. perhaps it was better for her to wait in the room. Then she noticed there's a stranger in her room. It wasn't Kazuya. Kazuya had told her just now that he went downstairs to wait for the others.

" Err.. hello..." The girl turned around.
" Oh I am sorry. This must be your room. Hi, I am Umi. Nice meeting you."
" Tsukushi.. Nice meeting you too. Err.. by any chance, do I know you before this?"
" Oh, no.. it's like this. I am sorry. You must be freaked out by my presence." Makino smiled.
" No.. a bit surprised though. I thought you were another of my friends."
" Oh no.. you see... I always fall sick ever since I was little so I am so used to come in and out of the hospital. Every time I came here, I always stay in the next room and I always become friends with patients in the rooms from either sides of my room. I had wanted to get to know you yesterday but there were always a lot of people in your room so I thought it would not be a good idea. When I came to your room this morning, it was empty and I saw you have packed up to leave. So, I decided to wait here to say farewell."
" Oh I see... Well, I am so sorry that I could not stay longer. It is just that I had an accident and now, I have lost all of my memories.. The doctor said that I should leave as soon as I can to regain my memories back."
" I wish you good luck on that."

Knock.. knock.. Makino turned towards the door expecting it to be Kazuya. It turned out to be Rui. Makino's face lit up the moment she saw Rui.

" Oh.. You have already packed up." Makino nodded.
" Can't wait to go home."
" Oh.. Sojirou told me that they are coming after this. After dropping your stuff at your apartment, we're going to go to the school.. and have a drive around Tokyo. They think it might make you remember something."
" Do you think it is good to rush into this?"
" I am not sure. But they think this is for your own good so perhaps it was a good thing."

Umi nudged Makino on the side. " Oh I'm sorry.. Hanazawa Rui.. This is Umi.. Umi.. this is my friend, Hanazawa Rui."
" Boyfriend?"
Her cheeks turned bright red on hearing that. She took a slight peek at Rui. Rui pretended that he did not hear that and quickly changed the subject, " Let me take your luggage. I think they'll be here soon."

Her heart dropped. He did not seem to be happy. In fact, he was troubled by Umi's mistake.
" Let me escort you downstairs," said Umi. Makino gaped at her, " Is it all right? You and your crutches.. What if you fall?"
" I'll be careful. I hardly ever fall. Yesterday, I did though but this nice guy with curly hair helped me along."
" Curly hair?" Could it be? Nah... that guy's not nice at all.
" Yes.. He was very cold at first but he turned out to be a good guy after all. He helped me up and walked me to the elevator." Umi sighed. " Oh well... enough about me. Come, let's go."

Downstairs.. They saw Kazuya at the entrance. Beside him stood... Makino was surprised to see it to be..

" Doumyouji..." she whispered. Rui noticed that Makino stopped walking the moment she saw Doumyouji. Kazuya waved at her but she did not notice him. Kazuya ran towards her. Doumyouji at the other hand just stood there in the entrance looking at her with that big, soulful eyes of his. (me: sigh.. love it when he does that..*hearts*) Makino did not dare to look back. She grabbed Rui's arm to hold on. Doumyouji stiffen when he saw it but his eyes never left Makino.

Why was he looking at me that way? Why is this feeling...?

" So.. you're name is Doumyouji."

Huh..

Makino looked at Umi in surprise. " You know him?"
" He was the guy from yesterday. I was surprised that he was your friend. I guess the world is small after all."

Kazuya came by and after exchanging greetings with Umi, he told Makino that the others will be here at any moment. When they came towards the entrance, it was Rui who spoke to Doumyouji first.

" I thought you don't want to come."
" And let you take away Makino from me. You got to be kidding."
" I thought you would trust me."
" I trusted you. I don't trust Makino."
" Hey.. why are you talking as if I was invisible, huh? And you, dumb ass. Why are you here? I thought I told you that I don't want to see you again?"
" I never say that I am going to listen to you. Besides.. How can I let my girlfriend hang around some other guy?"
" I told you I am not your girlfriend."
" For someone with amnesia, you sounded pretty confident! In fact.. I don't believe you really have amnesia. Perhaps you are faking it.."
" What do you mean by faking it, you stupid idiot?!!" Makino was about to hit Doumyouji when Umi suddenly cry out, " Stop it.. this is the hospital. People are looking at us. And Makino.. nice girls don't hit people like that."

Huh?!!

Umi went to Doumyouji's side and beamed at him.

" Doumyouji-san. We meet again."
" Oh it's you... Why are you here..?"
" Makino and I are friends. And since you are Makino's friend, I guess you are my friend too."

Rui and Makino: What the hell??!!

Doumyouji glared at Umi. " What kind of logic you are using? Things don't work like that." Umi giggled.
" There you go again.. Laughing without any reason. What is it right now?"
" Nothing. It just that you looked cute when you are mad."
" What?!!!"

Makino noticed that Doumyouji's blushing.

This feeling.. again, a different one. I felt this time like there was a dull ache inside of me. And why is it everything he said always gets me mad. And this weird feeling I always have around him... Why am I feeling this way every time I am around this guy? Who is he?

Her hold on Rui's arm tightened. Rui glanced sideways towards her. He saw Makino staring after Doumyouji who were busy scolding Umi. Umi just smiled at him and teased him mercilessly. Kazuya remarked that Umi seemed to be very friendly to everyone but especially so with Doumyouji. Makino slowly nodded. Rui could tell that it was affecting Makino somehow.

Makino...

" Tsukushi!!" Makino was quickly brought back to earth by Shigeru and Yuki's cheerful voices. " Shigeru!! Yuki!!" Makino waved back to her. They were followed by Akira and Sojirou whom all looked really puzzled to see Umi with Doumyouji.

After a short introduction, Umi was already in friendly terms with all of the others although Shigeru seemed to be uncomfortable by her presence.

" So you're going to drive around Tokyo. What a pity? I really wish I can go with you."
" Maybe next time.."
" Tsukushi... When I get discharged, can I see you again?" Makino nodded. " Of course." Then, Umi turned toward Doumyouji. " That means I can see you too."

" Baka onna... what in the world are you talking about?" She was taken aback. " I said I wanted to see all of you again. Is that wrong?"
" No... that's not wrong.." said Kazuya. Umi grinned.
" Aoike-kun, you are the best. Ooo.. it's already noon. I have to be in my room before the doctors look for me. Ja ne.. minna san..."

Makino felt relieved when Umi left.

But why am I relieved? That girl did nothing. She was so nice to me but I am being cold to her. Why?

" Hey.. Doumyouji.. I thought you are not coming with us."
" I just changed my mind.. that's all."
" Good.. that means all of us here.. After this, we're going straight to Eitoku. Makino, you might want to drop your stuff at your apartment. You can go with Doumyouji.. *wink*wink* "

Makino started to panic.. " err.. no.. Rui.. can you drive me instead?" Doumyouji yelled at her, " Why don't you come with me? Are you still scared of me? I am not going to bite you or anything."

No, Domyouji. It is not that. But I don't know why, I felt if I stay close to you, I kept doing or say the wrong things. I always felt at loss around you. I don't want to feel that.

Looking at Doumyouji, she calmly said. " I have the right to choose whoever I want to be with."
" You are coming with me..." Makino took no notice of this.
" Rui.. please.." Rui slanted a heavy glance towards Doumyouji. Doumyouji was shooting daggers with his eye. (me:hihi...) Much to everyone's surprise, he nodded. Doumyouji's face turned real sulky. Sojirou patted him at the back. " Patience, Tsukasa... Okay .. Makino will go with Rui.. Kazuya & Shigeru.. you guys go with Doumyouji.. Akira and Yuki with me. We all meet at Eitoku in an hour.."

An hour later.. They showed Makino all the places she used to go. Her class.. her locker.. the pond.. the emergency staircase.. but Makino could not recognize any of it. They even reenact some of the events like the time she got the red tag.. the time she got bullied by the others after the Sakurako's pictures incident.. the time she scolded Doumyouji for the first time.. the time when she and Kazuya were chased around the school after getting the red tag.

Makino laughed and giggled as she watched and listened to their stories. But she still could not remember anything. As they were walking down the path towards the entrance, Makino asked Kazuya this question.

" Ano... Kazuya,"
" yes.. Tsukushi-chan."
" Am I happy in this school?"
" Oh of course you are.. you have great friends like me. How can you be unhappy?" said Kazuya.
" But from your stories I felt like I've been bullied all the time here. How can I be happy?"
" Tsukushi-chan."

A few feet away, Doumyouji could only stare at Makino. He refused to take part of their idiotic attempts to replay Makino's memories. He thought it to be foolish. Also, Makino avoided him all day. This annoyed him to no end.

Why is she doing this to me? I know she cannot remember that I am her boyfriend but must she treat me like some kind of a plague. And the others are not helping at all. Always telling me to be patient. That this is for Makino's good. But, how about me?

" I am leaving.."
" Doumyouji, we have not finished yet!!"
" For me, it's finished. She's not going to remember anything this way. Why don't you just give up? I want no part of this. I rather leave than making a fool of myself."

As he turned to leave.. Makino burst into tears. " He's right. I am not going to remember anything. I won't..." Doumyouji stopped.
" Tsukushi, it is still too early to say that. Forget what Doumyouji said.."
" I am tired.. too tired... I want to go home."

Shigeru held her hand, " Perhaps we were too hard on you. No.. stop crying.."

Suddenly, Doumyouji charged towards Makino and dragged her away. The others yelled him to stop. Makino tried to fight back but he was too strong.

"Doumyouji!! Yamete... It hurts.." She kicked and hit him to make him stop. He did not even slow down." Domyouji!!!!" Makino screamed. He finally stopped. She tried to let go of her hand but his hold tightened.

" This is not you.." Makino was startled. She looked up to Doumyouji.

Ara... What is he saying?

" Doumyouji."
" Makino Tsukushi is not a quitter." He turned towards her. She could see his face. He looked so anxious that she felt sorry for him. Is he worried about me?
" My Makino is a weed. She would not give up no matter what the difficulty. She always would find away to fight back. And she won't burst into tears every time things get tough."

He let go of her. " I am sorry. I know I should not push you this far. I just want you to be the way you used too. I don't care if you can't remember me at all. Do you understand what I am saying?"

Makino nodded. Doumyouji shrugged, " I am leaving. Do you want to come with me?"
" Why do I want to follow you back, dumb ass?" she fiercely retorted back. He smiled, " Now that sounded more like the Makino Tsukushi that I know."

As he walked away, I felt it again. This feeling I could not name. Whoever this Doumyouji is, I have a feeling that there is a special bond between us.

But for now, it is okay for she not to know. One day, she'll discover it herself and she'll show her the old Makino he knew so much.

" Makino.. Are you coming with us?" Tsukushi turned around and shouted, " I am coming!!"

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Ooops.. chapter 4 was longer than I thought. So the dango shop can wait.. I'll write that in the next chapter… no chapter previews this time. ^-^

edited: changed this chapter a bit. I just realized that it was Makino who walked away from Domyouji that rainy night, not Doumyouji. I was in a hurry to end the chapter that I did not realize this. So, I have changed that part a bit. Put in more T x T stuff too.