Disclaimer: I STILL don't own ANYTHING…
A/N: Thanks for the reviews… or review… I'm starting to worry… Did this story become crap or something? Only one person reviewed the last chapter… Thanks PotterChick1 for reviewing… Hope y'all like this chapter… Hope I get more than one review… By the way, this chapter is not meant to be offensive to ANYONE and meant for purely humorous purposes… You'll know what I'm talking about when you get there… (*** signals a flashback to the time previously stated)
Before I knew it, I was rolling out of bed at the beginning of May. Days had turned to weeks, weeks had turned to months, and months turned to the last month of my life that would be spent at Hogwarts.
Yesterday, it had been announced that the seventh years would all have the day off today. The school decided that we all needed time off from our studies.
About a month ago, all the seventh years had gotten a survey.
That night when James and I got back to the common room, we found a stack of surveys to pass out to all of the seventh years in Gryffindor.
After passing them out, we settled into a corner with Peter, Remus, Eden, Sirius, and Gwen. Everyone began filling out their surveys.
Seventh Year Class Survey
Name: Lily Evans
Please put one name for all of the following:
Most handsome: James Potter
Most beautiful: Eden Abercrombie
Most scholarly male: Remus Lupin
Most scholarly female: Lily Evans
Most helpful male: Sirius Black
Most helpful female: Gwen McKinnons
Class clown: Sirius Black
Most rude: Sirius Black
Cutest couple: Sirius Black and Gwen McKinnons
Most likely to breakup: Sirius Black and Gwen McKinnons
Most likely to get married: James Potter and Lily Evans
Most outgoing: Sirius Black
Most shy male: Peter Pettigrew
Most shy female: Gwen McKinnons
Most likely to be successful male: James Potter
Most likely to be successful female: Lily Evans
Most likely to become a deatheater: Severus Snape
Mr. Hogwarts: James Potter
Mrs. Hogwarts: Eden Abercrombie
"Class clown: Sirius Black?!?" James screamed and/or questioned me when he looked down at my paper.
"Yeah, and?" I asked leaving James looking slightly insulted
"Well, you see, I like to think I'm a pretty funny guy," James explained.
"Well, you are, but—" I started to say.
"But you're not as funny as me," Sirius finished. Sirius was busy folding up his paper and about to put it in an envelope when…
"Why are you in such a rush to hide your paper?" James asked.
"Do I have to tell you everything, Mr. Not as funny as me?" Sirius said obnoxiously. James reached over to snatch the paper out of Sirius' hands. Sirius pulled it just out of James' reach. James, with his quick quidditch reflexes, lunged forward and grabbed the paper out of James' hands.
"You bloody listed yourself for everything!" James said.
"Even for the girl ones?" Eden asked.
"Yeah, apparently Sirius Black is most outgoing as well as most shy," James informed us.
"Who'd he put for the couple things?" Eden inquired.
"That's the most disturbing of it all… Sirius Black and Sirius Black," James said while Sirius pouted.
"Well, I am an amazing person," Sirius chimed in.
"As well as a girl, apparently," James said.
Today, we were all going to find out the results of this survey.
"Lily, what's taking so long?" Eden whined.
"I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying," I told her.
"Damn Sirius!" Gwen exclaimed.
"What's wrong?" Eden and I asked.
"He… aughhh… He decided to give me a romantic gift. Romantic my rear! It's a framed photo of himself that keeps shouting out annoying comments and making rude gestures!" Gwen said picking up a picture frame that presumably held said picture and throwing it across the room.
"How… sweet," I told her. Sirius the picture could be heard across the room, making rude comments.
"He seems to have caught his true likeness in the photo," Eden said, stifling a laugh.
"Sirius, next time you want to be sweet, do us all a favor and don't," Gwen said crossly when we were all seated in the Great Hall after breakfast, waiting for the event to begin.
"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.
"I mean that your damn talking photo kept me up half the night!" Gwen screamed, throwing a leftover piece of bread at him. Sirius caught it and ate it.
"Wasn't I/it so charming though?" Sirius asked.
"Are you ever charming?" Gwen asked.
"Well," Sirius began.
"No, you're not," James started, "Don't humor yourself into thinking you are because you will never be."
"But," Sirius started.
"Never," James said.
"Maybe if," Sirius started.
"Under no circumstances," James said. At this point, Professor Dumbledore stood up, causing silence to engulf the room.
"I'd like to begin by saying that we got some very interesting responses," Professor Dumbledore said, glancing at Sirius with a twinkle in his eye, "You will all soon be leaving us, ready to go onto bigger and better things. I hope today will be a day that you can always remember. As your name is called, make your way towards the stage to give a brief thank-you speech. Without further ado, let's begin." Dumbledore said, pulling towards him a large piece of parchment.
"Most handsome: Sirius Black," Professor Dumbledore read off the paper. Sirius rumpled his hair and stood up and began walking towards the stage.
"Thank goodness everyone else knows the truth," Sirius said when he got to the stage. He then turned around and walked back to his seat. James and I looked at each other. I knew what he was thinking. Why would Sirius pass up on the opportunity to make some rude speech? He must have something planned for later on.
"Well, that was, well," Professor Dumbledore began, "Most beautiful: Lily Evans." I felt color rush to my face.
"Lily!" Gwen squealed. James was busy attempting to make me stand up. He eventually succeeded with the help of Eden who then pushed towards the stage.
"I—I—thanks!" I said, feeling like a complete idiot, when I got to the stage. I then walked back towards my seat, almost tripping over my own two feet.
"Most scholarly male: Remus Lupin," Professor Dumbledore read from the paper. Remus went up and thanked us for voting for him.
"I like to think I'm pretty scholarly," Sirius muttered under his breath.
"Most scholarly female: Lily Evans," Professor Dumbledore read from his parchment.
"I'm way more scholarly than she is," Sirius whined.
"No, you're not and never will be," James said as I got up. I went onto the stage and thanked everyone.
"Thanks," I said then went back to my seat.
"So, Lily, is this at a loss for words thing permanent?" Sirius questioned when I sat back down. James shot him a look.
"Most helpful male: James Potter," Professor Dumbledore read from the parchment.
"Now I know I'm more helpful than he is," Sirius complained as James left the table.
"I'd like to thank all you freaks who I have constantly helped with their transfiguration homework and thought it appropriate to vote me most helpful," James said when he got onstage. He then turned around and sat back down.
"Most helpful female: Gwen McKinnons," Professor Dumbledore read from his parchment.
"Thanks, guys," Gwen said when she got onstage. She then sat back down. Sirius shook his head, almost is disgust that his girlfriend would not take this opportunity to make a fool of herself.
"Class clown: Sirius Black," Professor Dumbledore read off the parchment.
"Well, well, well so you people think I'm funny, huh? I'm so misunderstood. Burn in hell," Sirius said, sitting back down.
"Thank you, Sirius for a very… enlightening speech," Professor Dumbledore said. Sirius shook his head as if to say "anytime". "Most rude: Sirius Black," Professor Dumbledore read off of his parchment.
"Well, maybe you guys do understand me," Sirius said, he then returned to his seat to sit down.
"Cutest couple…" Professor Dumbledore trailed of, looking at his paper, "Cutest couple: James Potter and…" James stood up and started to help me up, "And Sirius Black." James gave Sirius a death glare.
"Sirius!" James yelled.
"Oh, darling, come on," Sirius said, hooking James through the arm. Gwen stared at Sirius, mouth wide open,
"Well, it does kind of make sense, I mean they have been… er… together… longer than you've both been with them," Eden told us as Sirius dragged James towards the stage.
"They-they-they," Gwen sputtered.
"I'm going to kill Sirius," I muttered.
"Why is this all Sirius' fault?" Remus asked.
"Well, judging by the fact that Sirius is now literally dragging James onstage," I answered, gesturing towards James and Sirius. Sirius had now given up hope of James walking willingly, so Sirius just attempted to toss James over his shoulder. James fought the whole way.
"We feel so, so touched that you consider us to be the cutest couple," Sirius began when the two of them finally got onstage.
"Touched my—" James started.
"James, darling, you know how I hate it when you curse," Sirius told him. James looked like he could kill Sirius with his bare hands. "When James and I started school here, seven years ago, we decided that we would make a mark on the school," Sirius began.
"Did we now?" James asked sarcastically.
"We decided to be remembered for the really groovy people we are. We're so happy that you could accept us for who we are and—" Sirius began. He was cut off by James leaving the stage. "Excuse him, he's a bit—shy," Sirius said, gesturing towards James who was now walking towards our table. "James, darling, wait for me," Sirius called, chasing after James.
"That was very… enlightening," Professor Dumbledore said as Sirius chased after James.
"How the hell did that happen?" James asked as he sat back down.
"Well, Sirius," Remus started to say.
"I bribed the seventh years to vote you and I best couple," Sirius said, sitting down.
"Hey, Sirius?" James said.
"Yeah, James?" Sirius said.
"When this dumb little presentation is over, you know what I want you to do?" James asked him.
"What?" Sirius asked.
"Run like hell," James said.
"Ok," Sirius said.
"Now, on with the presentation." Professor Dumbledore said after watching James and Sirius with amusement, "Most likely to break up: Sirius Black and Gwen McKinnon." Gwen looked horrorstruck. Sirius once again dragged someone towards the stage. He had a much easier time with Gwen, seeing as how she is a bit smaller than James.
"Thanks, I think," Sirius said when he got onstage. He then proceeded to walk back to his chair. Gwen followed looking confused.
"Well, I suppose he and James' relationship might interfere," Professor Dumbledore said, winking at James. James dropped his head into his hands.
"Hey, Sirius, you need to run from me as well," Gwen told him when they sat back down.
"And the couple most likely to get married: James Potter and Lily Evans." Professor Dumbledore read. James let out a sigh of relief when Professor Dumbledore read out my name.
"Thanks, dude," James said when we got onstage. He then walked back to our seats with me following behind. He seemed reluctant to speak.
"Most likely to be successful male: James Potter," Professor Dumbledore read. James got back up and gave a thank-you and sat back down.
"Most likely to be successful female: Lily Evans," Professor Dumbledore read. I got up and thanked my classmates.
"Mr. Hogwarts: James Potter," Professor Dumbledore read. James got up and thanked us all for voting for him.
"Mrs. Hogwarts: Lily Evans," Professor Dumbledore read. Only before I got up to say thanks, James interrupted me.
"You heard him, the presentation is over, you know what that means," James hissed at Sirius. Sirius stood up and ran out the room, closely followed by James and Gwen.
"That was… interesting," Professor Dumbledore said, "Oh well, you're dismissed."
James had caught up to Sirius just outside the doors to the great hall. We are not sure what happened next. All we know is that Sirius starts semi-convulsing if you mention the Great Hall. Gwen caught up to the two of them a minute later and joined in on the torture. Once again, one can only speculate about what happened. All we know, is that not only does Sirius semi-convulse when the Great Hall is mentioned, he also skipped lunch and supper so he would not have to go to the great hall, and he winces every time James and Gwen speak.
That night we were all sitting in the common room. James kept saying the words "Great Hall" and Sirius kept semi-convulsing.
"Hey, Lily, can you come to the library and help me with my charms homework?" Remus asked me.
"Sure," I said, standing up and walking with him towards the library.
"Don't leave me with Sirius!" James whined as Remus and I walked out the portrait hole.
"What do you need help with?" I asked Remus as we walked down the hall.
"Well, I really just needed to talk to you," Remus told me.
"About what? It's not about James and Sirius is it?" I asked.
"No, well, kind of," Remus answered.
"What about them?" I asked.
"Not what you think," Remus said as we walked into the doors of the library. We sat down at a table and I looked at him expectantly.
"James told me that you and he have been fighting because he leaves every month and won't tell you where he's going." Remus told me.
"Yes," I answered. It was true James and I had been fighting at least once a month because he left, refusing to tell me where he would go.
"And he told you that it wasn't his business to tell? Well, it's my business to tell," Remus told me.
"You really don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I told him.
"No, you have the right to know," Remus told me. "I'm a… werewolf." Remus told me, sighing.
"Oh, you—I," I stuttered. This was very surprising information. It explained many things.
"You don't have to say anything," Remus told me with a weak smile.
"I'm sorry," I finally spat out.
"Really, you don't have to say anything," Remus told me.
"What does that have to do with James and everyone?" I questioned.
"James, Sirius, and Peter decided to become animagus," Remus told me. I gasped at the idea.
"They what?" I asked.
"They became illegal animagus. James a stag, Sirius a dog, and Peter a rat. Every month I go to the Shrieking Shack for my transformation through the Womping Willow. That night James, Sirius, and Peter follow. Peter prods the root and makes the tree stop thrashing and the three of them come in. As animals, we roam Hogsmeade. James and Sirius are large enough to keep me under control. That's why James leaves every month and won't tell you why," Remus finished.
"That's… wow… I can't believe them. They could get into terrible trouble… How long did it take them to figure it out?" I asked, amazed by the story.
"Five years," Remus answered, "It's a good thing James and Sirius are so smart; if they weren't, it never would have happened."
"Is that why Anne Marie?' I questioned.
"Yes," Remus told me.
"I'm so sorry. I'll go curse her into oblivion if you like," I told him.
"Sirius and James already took care of that," Remus said with a smile.
"Not very surprising," I told him.
"No, not really," Remus agreed.
"Can I go talk to James now?" I asked Remus.
"Sure," Remus said. I got up and walked out the room and towards the Gryffindor house. Once in there, I found James lying down on the couch, arguing with Sirius.
"James, come see," I said, pulling him off the couch and to an empty corner in the common room.
"Lily, I was just torturing Sirius," James told me.
"It can wait. Remus just told me," I told James. At this, he froze.
"I suspected he would. You're going to tell on us now?" James asked. I pulled back, feeling like James had slapped me across the face.
"No, of course not. I think you guys are very brave for doing that," I told him.
"But you love rules," James argued.
"Rules are made to be broken," I told James.
"My little Lily! I'm so proud!" James exclaimed.
"Proud enough to snog me?" I asked him. James then pulled me towards him and started snogging me.
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