A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to update. I've been up to my neck in other
stuff (like Math GCSE's) Anyways, this is the next chapter of Cheating
Death and I'm introducing two others of my favourite characters; Rincewind
and Susan Sto Helit. Please bare with me I've got another couple of
characters to mix in then I can get down to serious Disc World story lines.
(
This chapter is dedicated to Emily Reynolds who, through a wonderful e-mail, inspired me to keep writing this story and reminded me how much I like thanks. Thanks to her and all of those who have reviewed.
'We have to find her.' Granny Weatherwax said sternly.
'We don't know where she went.' Agnes replied cautiously.
'Where do all teenage runaways end up?' Granny said sounding exasperated.
'Oh, you think she's in Ankh-Morpork?' Magrat Garlic, Queen of Lancre, mother of the heir to the throne and more importantly witch, asked whilst rocking the baby gently.
'I know she is.' Granny replied. There was a silence you could cut with a knife*. Agnes and Perdita held their respective breaths and Margrat continued to cradle the baby.
'Some will have to feed Greebo.' Said Nanny decidedly.
Allie Weatherwax wandered through the streets of Ankh-Morpork. In actually fact she wandered through the Shades. The general part of Ankh- Morpork not referred to as streets. Possibly because it wasn't referred to at all.
'Err. hello?' asked a voice from her left. Allison Weatherwax turned to face it preparing to see some form of ghastly-disfigured face of a troll or the enraged face of an angry dwarf. What she actually saw was much worse. The pale clammy face of Rincewind; the wizard who can't even spell wizard. His hat was enough proof of that. Wonky sequins across the pointed hat spelt;
Wizzard.
'Hello.' Allie returned slightly shocked. From behind her came a growling sound.
'Just ignore that.' Rincewind said quickly as she turned. 'It's just the luggage.' Allie stared at the sight before her. It was chest. Or rather the shape of a chest covered in a variety of sheepskin artefacts. Each of the many feet was clad in small sheepskin boots.
'It seems a little cold.' Allie said trying to smile and failing. The luggage still growling and trying, under the tonnage of wool, to bare its teeth**.
'He had an incident with a Shepard.' Rincewind replied. 'Are you ok? You look at little out of place.'
'I'm. From out of town.'
'Ah. Okay. Do you have somewhere to stay?' Allie's eyes shone with a plan.
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'Why did we have to bring the cat?' Perdita asked. Agnes ducked.
'That CAT as you called him. Will miss his mummy if we leave him at home.' Nanny Ogg said glaring at Agnes.
'Don't worry. He'll be ok.' Magrat said to Agnes comfortingly.
'It wasn't him I was worried about.' She responded.
'You can't come in here! Women aren't allowed.' Rincewind hurried after Allie Weatherwax, who at that moment was striding purposely through the halls of the Unseen University. Grinning.
'Well that's sexist.'
'It's the rules!'
'Didn't anyone ever tell you rules we meant to be broken?'
YOU HAVE BEEN MEDALING.
And you haven't? Death looked at the women in front of him***. He did hate Life. It wasn't like him to have emotions. It took him a long run at hating something but Life he hated. She was so annoying and ALWAYS there. Unfortunately, he was stuck with her. Life and Death were kind of co-existent.
I KNOW OF SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP.
Do you now. Good for you. I suggest you fetch them because I'm late. Muti-birth in Quirm. A poor woman's having six.
THEN I SUGGEST YOU GO. THE DEATH OF RATS WILL COPE WITH FETCHING HER.
SQUEAK?
'No.'
SQUEAK?
'I said no. Tell my grandfather he can do this himself.'
'He said you'd say that. Are these eyeballs?'
'No Quoath they're ping-pong balls painted like eyes. The children did them for me.'
'Oh. Anyway he said to tell you wouldn't be alone.'
'Oh?' Susan Sto Helit, Death's granddaughter, and local primary school teacher asked with an uninterested way.
'Yep. Said something about a lad called San Lob or.'
'Lobsang?'
'Yeah that'll be it.'
'Oh.' Susan paused, the children could do painting for a few days and she could use some time off.
'Ok. I'll do it but not because of the boy!'
'Sure.' Said Quoath.
SQUEAK said the Death of Rats.
'You can't do this!!!' Rincewind screamed at Allie. The other Wizards nodded their agreement.
'Listen to me! My name is Allison Weatherwax. Note the Weatherwax. Now what were you saying?'
Around her the Wizards moved to make the preparations she'd requested.
'Can I go now?' Rincewind asked.
'No. You and I are going for a little trip.'
'Oh, where to?'
'Next century.'
*Usually is. Generally because silence is a lack of noise, noise being air and air usually- easily cut with a knife. ** A chest bearing its teeth can be quite scary in it's self. After all splinters can hurt. ***There was a lot to look at.
This chapter is dedicated to Emily Reynolds who, through a wonderful e-mail, inspired me to keep writing this story and reminded me how much I like thanks. Thanks to her and all of those who have reviewed.
'We have to find her.' Granny Weatherwax said sternly.
'We don't know where she went.' Agnes replied cautiously.
'Where do all teenage runaways end up?' Granny said sounding exasperated.
'Oh, you think she's in Ankh-Morpork?' Magrat Garlic, Queen of Lancre, mother of the heir to the throne and more importantly witch, asked whilst rocking the baby gently.
'I know she is.' Granny replied. There was a silence you could cut with a knife*. Agnes and Perdita held their respective breaths and Margrat continued to cradle the baby.
'Some will have to feed Greebo.' Said Nanny decidedly.
Allie Weatherwax wandered through the streets of Ankh-Morpork. In actually fact she wandered through the Shades. The general part of Ankh- Morpork not referred to as streets. Possibly because it wasn't referred to at all.
'Err. hello?' asked a voice from her left. Allison Weatherwax turned to face it preparing to see some form of ghastly-disfigured face of a troll or the enraged face of an angry dwarf. What she actually saw was much worse. The pale clammy face of Rincewind; the wizard who can't even spell wizard. His hat was enough proof of that. Wonky sequins across the pointed hat spelt;
Wizzard.
'Hello.' Allie returned slightly shocked. From behind her came a growling sound.
'Just ignore that.' Rincewind said quickly as she turned. 'It's just the luggage.' Allie stared at the sight before her. It was chest. Or rather the shape of a chest covered in a variety of sheepskin artefacts. Each of the many feet was clad in small sheepskin boots.
'It seems a little cold.' Allie said trying to smile and failing. The luggage still growling and trying, under the tonnage of wool, to bare its teeth**.
'He had an incident with a Shepard.' Rincewind replied. 'Are you ok? You look at little out of place.'
'I'm. From out of town.'
'Ah. Okay. Do you have somewhere to stay?' Allie's eyes shone with a plan.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------
'Why did we have to bring the cat?' Perdita asked. Agnes ducked.
'That CAT as you called him. Will miss his mummy if we leave him at home.' Nanny Ogg said glaring at Agnes.
'Don't worry. He'll be ok.' Magrat said to Agnes comfortingly.
'It wasn't him I was worried about.' She responded.
'You can't come in here! Women aren't allowed.' Rincewind hurried after Allie Weatherwax, who at that moment was striding purposely through the halls of the Unseen University. Grinning.
'Well that's sexist.'
'It's the rules!'
'Didn't anyone ever tell you rules we meant to be broken?'
YOU HAVE BEEN MEDALING.
And you haven't? Death looked at the women in front of him***. He did hate Life. It wasn't like him to have emotions. It took him a long run at hating something but Life he hated. She was so annoying and ALWAYS there. Unfortunately, he was stuck with her. Life and Death were kind of co-existent.
I KNOW OF SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP.
Do you now. Good for you. I suggest you fetch them because I'm late. Muti-birth in Quirm. A poor woman's having six.
THEN I SUGGEST YOU GO. THE DEATH OF RATS WILL COPE WITH FETCHING HER.
SQUEAK?
'No.'
SQUEAK?
'I said no. Tell my grandfather he can do this himself.'
'He said you'd say that. Are these eyeballs?'
'No Quoath they're ping-pong balls painted like eyes. The children did them for me.'
'Oh. Anyway he said to tell you wouldn't be alone.'
'Oh?' Susan Sto Helit, Death's granddaughter, and local primary school teacher asked with an uninterested way.
'Yep. Said something about a lad called San Lob or.'
'Lobsang?'
'Yeah that'll be it.'
'Oh.' Susan paused, the children could do painting for a few days and she could use some time off.
'Ok. I'll do it but not because of the boy!'
'Sure.' Said Quoath.
SQUEAK said the Death of Rats.
'You can't do this!!!' Rincewind screamed at Allie. The other Wizards nodded their agreement.
'Listen to me! My name is Allison Weatherwax. Note the Weatherwax. Now what were you saying?'
Around her the Wizards moved to make the preparations she'd requested.
'Can I go now?' Rincewind asked.
'No. You and I are going for a little trip.'
'Oh, where to?'
'Next century.'
*Usually is. Generally because silence is a lack of noise, noise being air and air usually- easily cut with a knife. ** A chest bearing its teeth can be quite scary in it's self. After all splinters can hurt. ***There was a lot to look at.