CHAPTER 4: YOUNG LOVE
T.J. now looked at Ashley Spinelli, a girl he had known for most of his life, as the one thing that he needed to have. All of the feelings that he had for her now came to an all-time high. His hand still under her chin, he looked at every detail of her face: her perfect, full lips, her tiny, cute nose, and those eyes; those big, dark, sparkling pools of beauty staring directly at him so intensely. He then moved his hand from her chin to her left cheek, rubbing it ever so gently, and responded to her earlier question in a most tender manner, "Of course, Spinelli. Nobody else could ever be my queen."
"T.J....." Spinelli whispered. She tried her hardest to fight his gentle touch, but it was too new, too electric, too good to stop. In all her life, she had never heard a boy even tell her that she was pretty, and now here was one that was touching her face; giving her this new sensation. Unlike T.J., Spinelli tried her best to stop what was happening. It all felt too scary and too good at the same time. She looked at that slightly pudgy, freckled face of T.J.'s, only to feel more affection than ever before. She then realized: this face wasn't the face of just some boy. This was the face of a boy she'd known ever since kindergarten, a boy who'd never hurt her and always help her whenever he could, but most importantly, a boy who, whether she liked it or not, she had completely fallen for. This wasn't just some meaningless crush...it was love. Full-blown love. It had to be.
"Spinelli..." T.J. whispered back. He couldn't hold it in any longer. All he could focus on were those smooth, almost glossy lips of hers, naturally puckered up and ready. They both leaned in to one another, and their lips finally touched.
As soon as they kissed, they both felt an electricity like never before. They were finally doing what they wanted to do to one another, ever since their first kiss over a year ago. T.J. then began to put his arms around Spinelli, after feeling her small hands clamp behind his neck. Spinelli then did something that T.J. never even considered doing - she probed her tongue into his mouth! He could tell that she was enjoying it, too; she let out three soft, consecutive moans, which prompted him to put his tongue in her mouth, too. There they were, French-kissing as if their life depended on it, not caring about anything else but making each other happy. They were in the position that had long eluded them but had finally come: T.J. fingered Spinelli's soft, brunette hair with one hand and held her close with the other. Spinelli was still using both hands to keep T.J.'s face to hers. Their soft tongues rubbed against one another in a random but comfortable manner, each one feeling the other's taste buds. Although they were together in their own fantasy world of joy and bliss for only two minutes, to them, it felt like an eternity. Soon, Spinelli broke the kiss and gave T.J. a slight look of fear, who looked at her with the same expression on his face.
They both let go of each other and turned their faces away from one another. They knew now that they could no longer just be friends, they were something more. Of course, they both knew about love and how it changes the way you see things and certain people; they had heard all of that through their parents. In their usual kid-innocence, T.J., Spinelli, and the rest of the gang promised each other that they'd never fall in love with anyone. But now that they had shared such a passionate kiss, how could T.J. not be in love with this girl? How could Spinelli deny her true feelings, scary as they may have been, for such a charming, yet caring friend as this boy?
T.J. then grabbed Spinelli's hand, which caused her to look straight at him. He then said the words that he knew would finally bring him and her together....
"I love you, Ashley Spinelli."
The second that he said those words, Spinelli drew in a much-needed breath. She felt a strong sensation wash over her body, as if she had been in a hot desert for most of her life, and suddenly jumped into a pool of cool water from out of nowhere. T.J. himself had a similar feeling upon his admission; it was as if he had thrown a heavy load off of his back, after carrying it for over a year. T.J. smiled at her, not caring if she answered him back or not. For once, he was happy that the rest of his friends weren't around, otherwise he would have never said such a thing. Trembling uncontrollably, a watery-eyed Spinelli then smiled back at him with uncharacteristic joy and said...
"I love you too, T.J.!"
She then darted towards him and hugged him hard, resting her head on his chest. T.J. looked down at her, seeing a tear roll down her rosy cheek near her broad smile. He'd never seen her like this; she was trembling a little bit, and he could actually feel her strong heartbeat on his stomach, final proof that she felt strongly for him.
This was all too much for him. He did the only thing he could do at that point. He instinctively hugged her back and loosened her pigtails, so he could run his fingers through her long, black hair. He had the same bodily reactions as her, and they both loved how their heartbeats felt against one another. Finally, T.J. kissed Spinelli's forehead as she continued sniffling from her short cry.
All T.J. could think about afterwards was her. All of the years that he'd known Spinelli as a rough-and-tumble tomboy friend had just melted away with one kiss. It was finalized; Spinelli was now more than just his friend, she was his girl, and he knew that there could never be another. Part of him still couldn't believe that he had actually told Spinelli how he really felt about her. He always feared that she just wouldn't feel the same way, and would stop being friends with him. But now here she was, overcome with emotion for the first time ever. She told him that she loved him, too, and that was all he needed, or would ever need. He was in absolute heaven.
Spinelli laid on T.J. as if he had just saved her, and in a way, he did. She knew for a fact that she'd never make the first move in telling T.J. how their playground kiss forever changed how she saw him. For the past year she was involved in an internal struggle; she knew that her newfound feelings would seriously interfere with the girl she always knew she was: Spinelli, the most infamous and feared name in Third Street. There were times when she'd imagine her and T.J. as a couple, walking to school together, holding hands. She was emotionally growing up faster than most girls in her grade, and was trying her hardest to stop it. But after that second kiss, there was no going back. She loved T.J. Detweiler. She always liked him, but now she loved him. She loved his smile, his freckles, his brown hair, his eyes - everything. But most of all, she liked how he made her feel - like a girl......a girl who was needed. That was what made her cry - she finally saw that T.J. was the only boy who truly cared for her and would do anything to make her happy. She had him in her arms, and she would never let go. Everything felt perfect to her.
She then looked up at him as he was looking down at her. They saw each other in a new light. They smiled and blushed furiously at each another, glad to finally be in one another's arms without embarrassment. If they could, they'd stay in that embrace forever. They both started breathing heavily again, delighting in the incomparable feeling of true love.
For twenty minutes, the two were holding each other. Then suddenly, the Grundlers' phone rang loudly on the table beside the couch they were on, which startled them both. Immediately, they knew that it was Gretchen calling.
"I'll get it," T.J. said, still happy about successfully sharing his feelings with Spinelli. Then his smile quickly faded. "Whoa, wait a second, she's gonna be asking about the experiment! What are we supposed to tell her?" he asked Spinelli.
"No problem" Spinelli told him. "We'll just act the same way we did last time - complete denial. Tell her we kissed, and didn't like it, that's all."
"Uh, Spinelli?" T.J. said with worry, "I don't think that'll work this time". He was remembering the fact that he already told Gretchen his secret, therefore him telling her that the kiss wasn't special to him would be an obvious lie.
"What do you mean?" Spinelli asked him.
"Just trust me on this, okay?" T.J. responded. There was NO WAY he could tell her that someone else knew about his feelings for her before she did, especially when that someone was Gretchen. Spinelli would figure out T.J. and Gretchen's "plan", and he didn't even want to think about what she'd do then.
"Well, you'd better think of somethin'!" Spinelli told him, finally in touch once again with her tough-girl self. "I don't want anyone to know about.....us, Teej."
"Hey, you think I do?" T.J. said as if he felt the same way, but really immediately feeling bad about just saying those words. He lied to her, and he hated having to do it, because it felt like he was betraying her. Also, he had secretly wished for everyone to know about them - the gang, their parents, even everyone at Third Street. T.J. was never one to try to hide something he loved from everyone, and Spinelli was definitely no exception. However, he had to lie, in order to avoid a definite disagreement with Spinelli, and to keep her from knowing that Gretchen knew about his emotions.
"Teej, the phone! Hurry up!"
"Oh, right," T.J. said. T.J. then picked up the phone and answered. "Hello?"
"T.J., it's me," whispered Gretchen.
"Gretchen, can you talk louder?" T.J. said. "I can barely hear you."
"Actually, I can't," Gretchen responded, "I'm calling from the LaSalle's kitchen. Vince, Mikey, and Gus are in the living room watching Beanie McChimp. I told them that I'd be getting a can of soda, so I'll have to be quick. I called to see if you and Spinelli already, uhhh.....performed the experiment."
T.J. immediately felt stuck. What was he supposed to say? He looked at Spinelli, who had an "I love ya, but if you tell her, I'll knock your head clean off" expression on her face. T.J. cleared his throat nervously, but then thought. He loved her. He sure enough liked Gretchen, but he loved Spinelli. He'd do anything for her......even lie to a friend. If she didn't want anyone to know, no one had to know, and besides, he could always explain his lie to Gretchen later. With that, he spoke with a bit of confidence:
"Well, yeah, we did it."
"And? AND?" Gretchen asked with a sudden broad smile.
"Nothing," T.J. replied plainly.
Gretchen's smile fell to a dropped jaw. "Nothing?"
"That's right," T.J. answered. "We kissed and neither one of us felt anything. I mean, it wasn't as gross as last time..."
Right then T.J. saw Spinelli giving him a look that said "Don't say that, dufus! She might catch on!" and he continued.
"....but we didn't feel weird or anything. So now I guess we don't have to worry about that stupid "boys kissing girls" stuff messing with us anytime soon, right?"
Gretchen was at a loss for words. All she could think was, "What just happened? I know T.J. isn't telling me the truth, but what happened? Oh, gosh, did she reject him?.............Of course. Of course she did......and now he's just trying to save face. Oh, poor T.J......."
T.J. decided to end the conversation before he ended up telling her more lies. "Anyway, Gretch, we're both going home. I'll leave your key under the welcome mat, so come quick. See you at school tomorrow, okay?"
But Gretchen was still thinking. "This is my fault! I shouldn't have pushed him so hard! I can't believe that I let my own excitement get ahead of my common sense! But why did she reject him? Maybe she just wasn't ready to tell him. Or maybe.....maybe she never liked him in the first place and I misread everything! But I was so sure! How am I ever going to face him now......or Spinelli for that matter? She'll kill me for putting her through this!" She was going to ask to speak to Spinelli, but after that last thought, she decided against it. At this point, Gretchen heard T.J. say "okay" and just answered "Uh, okay."
All T.J. could assume at this point was that hopefully Gretchen thought that he kissed Spinelli, and that she didn't feel anything for him. Because of that, he then lied to her to save face, since Spinelli was right there. Yeah, she'd be able to figure it out. He knew she'd be asking more questions at that point, but he wasn't ready to answer any further ones. He needed more time to to figure out this situation, to think about how he'd convince Gretchen that there was really no love between him and Spinelli; that was now necessary. Almost confused from the whole situation, T.J. finally ended the phone call in desparation and simply said, "Bye, Gretch."
She replied, "Bye, T.J."
Both T.J. and Gretchen hung up quickly. All Gretchen could think about afterwards walking back to the living room was how she inadvertently hurt T.J. and scared Spinelli. Of course, Vince and the rest were too busy watching Beanie McChimp to notice the look of despair on her face....or that she never got her soda.
T.J. now looked at Ashley Spinelli, a girl he had known for most of his life, as the one thing that he needed to have. All of the feelings that he had for her now came to an all-time high. His hand still under her chin, he looked at every detail of her face: her perfect, full lips, her tiny, cute nose, and those eyes; those big, dark, sparkling pools of beauty staring directly at him so intensely. He then moved his hand from her chin to her left cheek, rubbing it ever so gently, and responded to her earlier question in a most tender manner, "Of course, Spinelli. Nobody else could ever be my queen."
"T.J....." Spinelli whispered. She tried her hardest to fight his gentle touch, but it was too new, too electric, too good to stop. In all her life, she had never heard a boy even tell her that she was pretty, and now here was one that was touching her face; giving her this new sensation. Unlike T.J., Spinelli tried her best to stop what was happening. It all felt too scary and too good at the same time. She looked at that slightly pudgy, freckled face of T.J.'s, only to feel more affection than ever before. She then realized: this face wasn't the face of just some boy. This was the face of a boy she'd known ever since kindergarten, a boy who'd never hurt her and always help her whenever he could, but most importantly, a boy who, whether she liked it or not, she had completely fallen for. This wasn't just some meaningless crush...it was love. Full-blown love. It had to be.
"Spinelli..." T.J. whispered back. He couldn't hold it in any longer. All he could focus on were those smooth, almost glossy lips of hers, naturally puckered up and ready. They both leaned in to one another, and their lips finally touched.
As soon as they kissed, they both felt an electricity like never before. They were finally doing what they wanted to do to one another, ever since their first kiss over a year ago. T.J. then began to put his arms around Spinelli, after feeling her small hands clamp behind his neck. Spinelli then did something that T.J. never even considered doing - she probed her tongue into his mouth! He could tell that she was enjoying it, too; she let out three soft, consecutive moans, which prompted him to put his tongue in her mouth, too. There they were, French-kissing as if their life depended on it, not caring about anything else but making each other happy. They were in the position that had long eluded them but had finally come: T.J. fingered Spinelli's soft, brunette hair with one hand and held her close with the other. Spinelli was still using both hands to keep T.J.'s face to hers. Their soft tongues rubbed against one another in a random but comfortable manner, each one feeling the other's taste buds. Although they were together in their own fantasy world of joy and bliss for only two minutes, to them, it felt like an eternity. Soon, Spinelli broke the kiss and gave T.J. a slight look of fear, who looked at her with the same expression on his face.
They both let go of each other and turned their faces away from one another. They knew now that they could no longer just be friends, they were something more. Of course, they both knew about love and how it changes the way you see things and certain people; they had heard all of that through their parents. In their usual kid-innocence, T.J., Spinelli, and the rest of the gang promised each other that they'd never fall in love with anyone. But now that they had shared such a passionate kiss, how could T.J. not be in love with this girl? How could Spinelli deny her true feelings, scary as they may have been, for such a charming, yet caring friend as this boy?
T.J. then grabbed Spinelli's hand, which caused her to look straight at him. He then said the words that he knew would finally bring him and her together....
"I love you, Ashley Spinelli."
The second that he said those words, Spinelli drew in a much-needed breath. She felt a strong sensation wash over her body, as if she had been in a hot desert for most of her life, and suddenly jumped into a pool of cool water from out of nowhere. T.J. himself had a similar feeling upon his admission; it was as if he had thrown a heavy load off of his back, after carrying it for over a year. T.J. smiled at her, not caring if she answered him back or not. For once, he was happy that the rest of his friends weren't around, otherwise he would have never said such a thing. Trembling uncontrollably, a watery-eyed Spinelli then smiled back at him with uncharacteristic joy and said...
"I love you too, T.J.!"
She then darted towards him and hugged him hard, resting her head on his chest. T.J. looked down at her, seeing a tear roll down her rosy cheek near her broad smile. He'd never seen her like this; she was trembling a little bit, and he could actually feel her strong heartbeat on his stomach, final proof that she felt strongly for him.
This was all too much for him. He did the only thing he could do at that point. He instinctively hugged her back and loosened her pigtails, so he could run his fingers through her long, black hair. He had the same bodily reactions as her, and they both loved how their heartbeats felt against one another. Finally, T.J. kissed Spinelli's forehead as she continued sniffling from her short cry.
All T.J. could think about afterwards was her. All of the years that he'd known Spinelli as a rough-and-tumble tomboy friend had just melted away with one kiss. It was finalized; Spinelli was now more than just his friend, she was his girl, and he knew that there could never be another. Part of him still couldn't believe that he had actually told Spinelli how he really felt about her. He always feared that she just wouldn't feel the same way, and would stop being friends with him. But now here she was, overcome with emotion for the first time ever. She told him that she loved him, too, and that was all he needed, or would ever need. He was in absolute heaven.
Spinelli laid on T.J. as if he had just saved her, and in a way, he did. She knew for a fact that she'd never make the first move in telling T.J. how their playground kiss forever changed how she saw him. For the past year she was involved in an internal struggle; she knew that her newfound feelings would seriously interfere with the girl she always knew she was: Spinelli, the most infamous and feared name in Third Street. There were times when she'd imagine her and T.J. as a couple, walking to school together, holding hands. She was emotionally growing up faster than most girls in her grade, and was trying her hardest to stop it. But after that second kiss, there was no going back. She loved T.J. Detweiler. She always liked him, but now she loved him. She loved his smile, his freckles, his brown hair, his eyes - everything. But most of all, she liked how he made her feel - like a girl......a girl who was needed. That was what made her cry - she finally saw that T.J. was the only boy who truly cared for her and would do anything to make her happy. She had him in her arms, and she would never let go. Everything felt perfect to her.
She then looked up at him as he was looking down at her. They saw each other in a new light. They smiled and blushed furiously at each another, glad to finally be in one another's arms without embarrassment. If they could, they'd stay in that embrace forever. They both started breathing heavily again, delighting in the incomparable feeling of true love.
For twenty minutes, the two were holding each other. Then suddenly, the Grundlers' phone rang loudly on the table beside the couch they were on, which startled them both. Immediately, they knew that it was Gretchen calling.
"I'll get it," T.J. said, still happy about successfully sharing his feelings with Spinelli. Then his smile quickly faded. "Whoa, wait a second, she's gonna be asking about the experiment! What are we supposed to tell her?" he asked Spinelli.
"No problem" Spinelli told him. "We'll just act the same way we did last time - complete denial. Tell her we kissed, and didn't like it, that's all."
"Uh, Spinelli?" T.J. said with worry, "I don't think that'll work this time". He was remembering the fact that he already told Gretchen his secret, therefore him telling her that the kiss wasn't special to him would be an obvious lie.
"What do you mean?" Spinelli asked him.
"Just trust me on this, okay?" T.J. responded. There was NO WAY he could tell her that someone else knew about his feelings for her before she did, especially when that someone was Gretchen. Spinelli would figure out T.J. and Gretchen's "plan", and he didn't even want to think about what she'd do then.
"Well, you'd better think of somethin'!" Spinelli told him, finally in touch once again with her tough-girl self. "I don't want anyone to know about.....us, Teej."
"Hey, you think I do?" T.J. said as if he felt the same way, but really immediately feeling bad about just saying those words. He lied to her, and he hated having to do it, because it felt like he was betraying her. Also, he had secretly wished for everyone to know about them - the gang, their parents, even everyone at Third Street. T.J. was never one to try to hide something he loved from everyone, and Spinelli was definitely no exception. However, he had to lie, in order to avoid a definite disagreement with Spinelli, and to keep her from knowing that Gretchen knew about his emotions.
"Teej, the phone! Hurry up!"
"Oh, right," T.J. said. T.J. then picked up the phone and answered. "Hello?"
"T.J., it's me," whispered Gretchen.
"Gretchen, can you talk louder?" T.J. said. "I can barely hear you."
"Actually, I can't," Gretchen responded, "I'm calling from the LaSalle's kitchen. Vince, Mikey, and Gus are in the living room watching Beanie McChimp. I told them that I'd be getting a can of soda, so I'll have to be quick. I called to see if you and Spinelli already, uhhh.....performed the experiment."
T.J. immediately felt stuck. What was he supposed to say? He looked at Spinelli, who had an "I love ya, but if you tell her, I'll knock your head clean off" expression on her face. T.J. cleared his throat nervously, but then thought. He loved her. He sure enough liked Gretchen, but he loved Spinelli. He'd do anything for her......even lie to a friend. If she didn't want anyone to know, no one had to know, and besides, he could always explain his lie to Gretchen later. With that, he spoke with a bit of confidence:
"Well, yeah, we did it."
"And? AND?" Gretchen asked with a sudden broad smile.
"Nothing," T.J. replied plainly.
Gretchen's smile fell to a dropped jaw. "Nothing?"
"That's right," T.J. answered. "We kissed and neither one of us felt anything. I mean, it wasn't as gross as last time..."
Right then T.J. saw Spinelli giving him a look that said "Don't say that, dufus! She might catch on!" and he continued.
"....but we didn't feel weird or anything. So now I guess we don't have to worry about that stupid "boys kissing girls" stuff messing with us anytime soon, right?"
Gretchen was at a loss for words. All she could think was, "What just happened? I know T.J. isn't telling me the truth, but what happened? Oh, gosh, did she reject him?.............Of course. Of course she did......and now he's just trying to save face. Oh, poor T.J......."
T.J. decided to end the conversation before he ended up telling her more lies. "Anyway, Gretch, we're both going home. I'll leave your key under the welcome mat, so come quick. See you at school tomorrow, okay?"
But Gretchen was still thinking. "This is my fault! I shouldn't have pushed him so hard! I can't believe that I let my own excitement get ahead of my common sense! But why did she reject him? Maybe she just wasn't ready to tell him. Or maybe.....maybe she never liked him in the first place and I misread everything! But I was so sure! How am I ever going to face him now......or Spinelli for that matter? She'll kill me for putting her through this!" She was going to ask to speak to Spinelli, but after that last thought, she decided against it. At this point, Gretchen heard T.J. say "okay" and just answered "Uh, okay."
All T.J. could assume at this point was that hopefully Gretchen thought that he kissed Spinelli, and that she didn't feel anything for him. Because of that, he then lied to her to save face, since Spinelli was right there. Yeah, she'd be able to figure it out. He knew she'd be asking more questions at that point, but he wasn't ready to answer any further ones. He needed more time to to figure out this situation, to think about how he'd convince Gretchen that there was really no love between him and Spinelli; that was now necessary. Almost confused from the whole situation, T.J. finally ended the phone call in desparation and simply said, "Bye, Gretch."
She replied, "Bye, T.J."
Both T.J. and Gretchen hung up quickly. All Gretchen could think about afterwards walking back to the living room was how she inadvertently hurt T.J. and scared Spinelli. Of course, Vince and the rest were too busy watching Beanie McChimp to notice the look of despair on her face....or that she never got her soda.