Changing Fates Chapter 11: Lonely Nights, a hana yori dango fanfic

Title: Changing Fates
by dytia

chapter 11: Lonely Nights

Sorry for the late update. Been very busy . This chapter originated as a songfic I am doing for Sojirou but as I was about to go and write this chapter.. I thought the song made a real good theme song for the overall mood of this chapter. So, the one shot song fic became this chapter... Hihi....

Doumyouji's being too nice? Aww... you guys, he's really not that bad.

Doumyouji: Who dared to say I am not nice? I am nice. I am nicest guy in the whole HYD universe.
dytia & Makino: Not!!! :P

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Shigeru ran out of the cafe. Tears streaming down her cheek. Makino were sitting there, stunned, too confused to speak anything. " Shigeru..I don't understand.. Why you said he did this because he knew me. I just don't.."

Shigeru ran and ran. Before she stopped and leaned against a shop window. Her knees weak, she slowly slid down, kneeling on the ground, her arms hugging her body, trying to held back the vicious torrent of hot tears. She just could not stop.

I'm sorry, Rui.. I betrayed you.. I told you I'd help you but in the end I told her.. I have to... She's my friend.

A voice in her head scolded her, " Fool.. you did that because you wanted Doumyouji for yourself. Now, you just made Tsukushi be more determined to stay with Rui. So, now you could be with Tsukasa.."

No... I did not do that because of Tsukasa.

"Liar!!" The voice roared at her. Shigeru covered her ears screaming. " Go away.. go away!!!" And the sobs got louder.

* * * *

At Doumyouji's residence. Akira were bugging Doumyouji into going out with him. " At least it's better having you moping about in this run down place. Look at it, Tsukasa. You are free man. We as the most eligible bachelors in the whole Tokyo must go and.." Bupp... Doumyouji threw a really thick, hard cover book at Akira's face.

" Leave me alone. Go with Sojirou. I am not in the mood." SD shot of Akira begging Doumyouji. " If Jirou's want to go with me.. I wouldn't have to ask you."
" Then, get one of your girlfriends to keep you company." Doumyouji got up and left for his room. Then, Akira stood up and grabbed his shoulder. His face was serious. " You cannot be like this forever, Doumyouji. Makino will remember."
" She won't."
" And you're going to leave her with Rui just like that? This is not the Tsukasa I know."
" Then, what else should I do? Kidnap her and beat her into submission?"
" I didn't say that. Look, I don't like the way you, Rui and Jirou right now. All of you getting all miserable over a girl."
" So, you're saying that getting drunk and fooling around with strange woman were going to cheer me up."
" Well, if it doesn't cheer you up, it'll cheer me up. So, you're coming or not?"

" NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Doumyouji got up to leave when he heard commotion outside. A very familiar voice shouting, " Let me in, you bastard.. I need to see Doumyouji.. Let me go!!!!!!!"

Makino? Here?

Doumyouji ran towards the front door and saw her. The SPs were pinning her down, trying to calm her but she struggled, kicking and punching against them. " Let me see Doumyouji.. you bastards.. I want to see him now. What are you doing to me? Let me go!!!!" She wanted to see.. me?? The first thing that came into his mind was that she finally remembered him. So happy, he ran towards her, with his super strength he kicked and pushed the SPs away and hugged her tightly.

" Oh I know, you'd come to your senses. Makino!!"
" Doumyouji.. what are you doing? Let go of me, you pervert!!" Dushum... her fist punched right at his chin. Doumyouji fell backwards, blood shooting up from his nose. Akira stared at Makino, gaping at her. Makino, realizing her mistake, cried out.. " Oops.. Doumyouji.. I'm sorry. I didn't meant to hit you.. err... reflex I guess. "

Akira sighed, " She's the same Makino we know.. although amnesia did restore some manners into you. Doumyouji, daijoubu ka??" Doumyouji noddedm, wiping away his bloodied nose, " I guess you still can't remember me." Makino shifted uneasily. So he thought I came for him.. " I came in need of your help. You're the only person I know could help me."

" What is it? Is it money?"
" No... I... I need to find Rui."
" Sorry. Can't help you." Doumyouji turned around away from her.
" But it's important.You're the only one I know who can. Rui said you were his best friend. I looked everywhere. his servants refused to tell.. Doumyouji, please help me.."

Doumyouji did not even look back at her. He just went upstairs and slammed his door. Makino stood there, dejected.

" Makino.. you can be the most dense girl I know.. Did you see how happy he was when you came just now?"
Makino looked away. " I am sorry. But I thought he could help."
" Well.. Don't you think he already helped you a lot?"
Makino stared at Akira." What?"
" He is sacrificing the only girl he loved to Rui and the only thing he expect in return was for you to remember how things were between you and him."
" It's not my fault I could not remember."
" Well.. I didn't see you putting any effort into it."

She was taken aback by Akira's words. Looking up, she imagined Doumyouji standing on the stairs just as he was just now. He was smiling. That boyish smile.

And then she saw Rui, looking at her tenderly, playing a song for her.. both of them looking at her with lots of love.. both sacrificing themselves for each other. For her.

They never ask what I was feeling. Both think they were doing this to protect me. For my happiness. But the only thing they succeed is making me feel more hurt..

Hurt... This feeling... was so familiar. Why is it?

Makino hesitantly asked for Akira to tell Doumyouji that she's leaving , " But if he knows where Rui is.. please..."
Akira nodded, " I'll tell him to tell you."

Makino walked out of the house. Unaware that Doumyouji was watching her from his room. Just watching her silently. There was a knock on the door. Akira opened the unlocked door. " She wanted to leave so.."
" Good. She had no business to be here anyway."
" Doumyouji, you could have stop her."
" And bring her to Rui. I am not that stupid." Akira shrugged.

" You're pathetic, you know that. Where is that Doumyouji who'd chase Makino to hell and back?"
" He's dead.."
Akira scoffed at him, " I am so disappointed with you, Tsukasa." Akira left, slamming the door behind him.

Doumyouji grabbed the beer can on the table, opened it and gulped it down.. he threw the can into the already overflowing thrash can.. also filled with beer cans.. He leaned against the balcony, watching makino's figure disappear into the darkness.

Go.. go with Rui.. I don't need a girl who cannot even remember the guy she really love.

But deep inside, he knew. That he needed her more than ever.

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
and I just keep thinking about the love that we had
and I'm missing you
and nobody knows it but me
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
and I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm trembling inside
and nobody knows it but me

* * * *

Rui was sitting alone by himself. Playing his violin for the umpteenth time. The same melancholic song. His handphone flashed. Another message. It was Akira asking where he was.

He shrugged. Makino must have asked Akira for him. Or perhaps she went to Doumyouji.

How ironic?! Then, when she was with Tsukasa.. she always running back to me. But now.. when she was with me.. she ran back to Tsukasa..

He smiled to himself. Thinking about his plan, he knew that it was wrong for him to decide for Makino. But it was for the best. He did not want her to be hurt when she finally remembered everything. Protect her. That was what he wanted.

Or maybe I was the one who was afraid of hurt. Perhaps the one I wanted to protect was myself.

When Makino told him she loved him, he thought that it was a dream. And he still think that this was a dream. That, any time soon, he would wake up. He had to push her away. Before he wakes up and find everything was indeed a dream.

How blue can I get?
You can ask my heart
but like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words wouldn't say
just how I feel
A million years from now, I know
I'll be loving you still

The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
and I just keep thinking about the love that we had
and I'm missing you
and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, it's a quarter past three
I'm screaming at night as if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah, my heart is calling you
and nobody knows it but me

* * * *

Sojirou was by in his room, flipping through the old albums. Faces of younger him and Sara smiling back at him. Mocking him.

She was as pretty as I remembered her. Just like an angel.

And I hurt her then. And I saw that I also hurt her just now I pretended that she did not affect me a bit. I tried to appear as if I could not care less but her laugh, her cheerful smile.. I scolded her but it was not even her fault. It was just me...

He placed a finger on Sarah's smiling face. I am sorry.

She seemed that she didn't change one bit. But her feelings. Was it still the same? Yuki told him to be honest to her. To himself. Should he?

Did he wanted her back? He did not know. Is he still in love with her? He did not know.

Sara was his first love. And first love were hard to forget.

Tomorrow morning, I'm hittin' the dusty road
gonna find you whereever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to me
...said when the nights are lonely....

Sojirou closed the album and left it there. He grabbed his coat and went out of the room. Yuki, forgive me... but this is something I just had to do.

* * * *

Yuki could not sleep. She kept replaying today's events. But it's good for Nishikado-kun to see Sara-senpai again. I wanted to be happy for them but why I can't.

I knew that Nishikado-kun could not find any other girl except Sara senpai to love but I thought that one day, maybe, he'd at least, accept my love. Even if I know he doesn't feel anything in return.

I, Yuki Matsuoka, love Sojirou Nishikado. And that's the only important thing to me.

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Finally finish.. I postponed this chapter for so long... Akira got more lines instead of the usual punchlines... everybody's angsty so he just had to be too.. haha... I retained Yuki's blind stupidity and innocence.. can't do much about that.. I inserted certain verses of Tony Rich Project - Nobody Knows (But Me).

Next chapter preview: Makino confronting Rui. They are getting back together? Doumyouji getting a call from New York. A call changing their lives forever.

Lyrics for Tony Rich Project - Nobody Knows (But Me).

I pretend that I'm glad you went away
These four walls close in more every day
and I'm dying inside
and nobody knows it but me
Like a clown, I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
and I'm crying inside
and nobody knows it but me
Why didn't I say
the things I needed to say?
How could I let my angel get away?
Now my world is just a tumbling down
I can say it so clearly
but you're no where around
(chorus)
The nights are lonely, the days are so sad
and I just keep thinking about the love that we had
and I'm missing you
and nobody knows it but me
I carry a smile when I'm broken in two
and I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm trembling inside
and nobody knows it but me
I lie awake, it's a quarter past three
I'm screaming at night as if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah, my heart is calling you
and nobody knows it but me
How blue can I get?
You can ask my heart
but like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart
A million words wouldn't say
just how I feel
A million years from now, I know
I'll be loving you still
Repeat (Chorus)
Tomorrow morning, I'm hittin' the dusty road
gonna find you whereever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart and hope you come back to me
...said when the nights are lonely....
Repeat (Chorus)