Thank you to all the lovely reviewers! You are all wonderful!
Nic15- You DO brighten my day!
Alla- Snape IS pretty calm in this. . . after talking with a few of my Potterized friends for a few months about this, I have realized that I seem to have a very different view of Snape than everyone else. I always just kinda pictured him as a laid-back kind of guy who nonetheless hates the world with a passion. So that bleeds into my stories. I know that bugs a lot of people, and I'm sorry. . . : (
And about the angst: you know, I actually cut angst OUT of this (!) because I didn't want to hit you guys over the head with it too early in. Now I guess I overdid it; ah, well. There's more chapters. I'll try and ANGST (that is SUCH a funny word!) in a few more chapters; I still think it's too early and that angst of the serious variety would seem unnatural.
Thank you for bringing up meaningful points! In answer to your question about the Shrieking Shack, no, that hasn't happened yet. It will, though; I'm not one to mess with something as basic to canon as that.
Heart, and thank you for reading (if you're still reading- I know this was too long an Author's Note),
Caroline
~~
Chapter 6
Around two thirty, Severus drifted into his Common Room, with every intention of flopping down onto the first armchair he found, curling up, and falling asleep there. That's why he was so shocked when he found. . .
"Lucius!"
"Where have you BEEN?" the blonde demanded. He was sitting in a chair, reading. When he saw Severus, he threw the book down and got up, swishing around layers and layers of black clothing as he did so. How dare Snape stay out that long without telling him where he'd been? If Black was involved, he silently vowed to himself, he'd kill both of them. In his own twisted way, he supposed, he did care for Severus, and he wasn't about to give him up to that slime, Black.
"What?" Severus's head was spinning; hadn't Lucius said he was going to bed early tonight?
"For the last FIVE HOURS, Snape! Where were you?"
"Uh, studying?"
"The hell you were!"
"What does it matter to you, anyway?"
"Just tell me where you were!"
"No."
Lucius looked like someone had just slapped him, but after a few seconds he recovered. "Why?" he asked dangerously. "What are you hiding?"
"I'm not hiding anything, I just don't think I should have to tell you where I'm going all the time!"
"Snape. We've known each other all our lives. You were NOT studying. You've got this weird look on your face like you died and went to heaven- which we ALL know isn't going to happen- and besides, I had someone check the library, because I KNEW you were going to give me that line when you got back. You weren't there. Now for the last time: WHERE WERE YOU?"
But Severus had stopped listening after the first few sentences. "I have a look?"
"Yes, you have a look." Lucius stopped. He scowled. "You met a GIRL, didn't you?"
"No. Of course not."
Lucius studied him. "Yes you DID. I KNOW that look."
"No, apparently you don't know it as well as you thought, because I did not meet a girl."
Lucius rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Seriously, where the hell were you?"
"Out. I was out."
"I'm not going to get anything more from you, am I?"
"Nope. Probably not."
Lucius sighed. "I guess anything's better than tutoring that Black snot. For a Pureblood, he's the trashiest piece of filth I've ever seen. I'd like to spit on him."
"Yeah."
Suddenly sure he understood something, Lucius glanced at Severus out of the corner of his eye, gauging his reaction. "I'd like to crush his skull."
Severus only nodded.
"Like to take everyone he loves away from him and destroy them."
"Why?" There it was. One word, and Lucius was sure he understood everything. From here on out, if he was right, Snape's life- and Black's, for that matter- was going to be HELL. Sheer, unadulterated hell, with all the special Malfoy garnishes.
"Why what?" Lucius asked, his voice precariously soft.
"Why do you hate him so much?"
"LOOK at him!" Lucius replied spitefully, almost more disgusted with Snape's LACK of hate for Sirius than with Sirius's flaws themselves. "Good Merlin! He's a walking, talking representation of all things sickeningly perfect!"
"What's wrong with him?"
"Oh, don't get me STARTED. It's everything. It's the way he constantly messes with his hair, even though he knows it's probably perfect. The way he thinks he could get any girl he wants. The way he looks down at everybody like they're beneath him because he's so good and perfect! Screw him. I'm going to kill him."
This time the reaction was unmistakable. Snape shook his head, almost confidently. "No you're not."
"Snape, I want you to stop talking right now, unless you are directly responding to something I say to you."
Severus looked up at him. Like a confused little rodent. Pathetic. Pathetic that this man was the closest thing to a friend Lucius had here.
"I want you to tell me exactly what you think of Sirius Black."
"He has. . . um, black hair. . . and his name is Black. . . now that's what you call ironic. Look, it's late, and I'm really-"
"No. Tell me what you think of him."
"I hate him. He's a little prick who's far too big for his britches. He doesn't have any concept of how the real world works, and I seriously regret the day I agreed to tutor him."
"Why did you agree to tutor him?"
"Only for the money. You know I don't have a job anymore."
"You could have gotten money some other way. You're not that desperate, are you?"
"I don't know. . .ever since I quit working at the ice cream place, it's been really hard to find work."
"Bull shit. You tutor him because you enjoy his company."
"For one thing," Snape shot back, his eyes flashing dangerously, "I am insulted that you would even think such a thing. For God's sake, he's a GRYFFINDOR! A pompous, arrogant, GRYFFINDOR! And for another, I don't see how this is any business of yours!"
Lucius regarded him suspiciously for a few seconds. "It is my business," he answered finally, coldly, "because you are my friend. And as such, it is my duty to look after you, and make sure that you aren't associating with anyone you shouldn't be."
"You aren't my father. You don't own me. You can't control me. I could have a fucking LOVE AFFAIR with Black, and for one thing you couldn't stop me, and for another thing, I wouldn't care what you thought at all." He shook his head, wishing he didn't sound like such a rash, immature teenage boy. Which was, he realized upon more reflection, exactly what he was.
"No, I'm not your father, but I AM the person who's known you the longest. And if not the longest, certainly the best." Lucius dropped his voice, trying to sound soft and gentle. "Snape. . . Severus. . . can't you see that I only want to help you?"
"What, by trying to rule my life on the pretense of false accusations?"
"No one is trying to rule your life. I am trying to make sure that you stay away from Black. In the end, you will thank me."
"I can take care of myself! I can decide for myself who I will associate with! I have already decided that Black is not one of those people, and I can defend myself from him on my own, thank you very much!" Snape's eyes flashed.
"That's good to hear," Lucius replied appreciatively, but not because he believed him in the slightest. There was definitely something going on between Snape and Black, and he was prepared to go to war against the world to keep that from happening. But right now, he wanted to sleep. . . after all, it was now after three in the morning. So he let it go. "I'm going to go up to sleep. You coming?"
"I don't know. . . I think I'm going to stay down here and think for a little while."
Considering the possibility that he was wrong after all about Snape and Black, Lucius allowed his eyes to soften a little. After all, hadn't that been the look he'd had on his face for about a month after he'd met Narcissa? "There IS a girl, isn't there?" he asked, looking down at Snape sitting in a chair and staring at the wall.
"No. No girl."
Lucius smiled; that's exactly what he had said, too.
~~
Can it really be this wrong to not hate someone? Sirius is such a nice person, Severus thought to himself. So what if I like him a little bit?
"I hate Sirius Black," he said out loud, just to see what the words sounded like. He hadn't said them, or any variation, since they'd started studying together a month ago.
They didn't have the same bite, the same sting, as they'd had last month. He didn't get the same spiteful pleasure from affirming his hatred for the stupid git.
//maybe because it's not true anymore//
That didn't shock him, realizing that he didn't hate Sirius. He'd known that, he guessed, since long before he'd agreed to come to the party.
That damned party. What was he thinking, coming to that? As if his world wasn't shaken up enough already, he had to go and get Sirius Black to put his hands on his waist not once but TWICE. Damn you, Sirius, damn you for making me have to go through this.
Sirius. When had he gotten to calling him Sirius? He called him that when they were studying together, but that was just because hearing Black exclaim "Call me Sirius!" twenty-eight times a night got abrasive. When had he started calling him Sirius when he thought about him?
When had he started thinking about him?
He grunted in frustration; this was too much. Perhaps Sirius was right. Maybe the emotional load WAS too much for him. He blew out the candle next to him and stumbled up the staircases into the dormitories.
~~
"So," James said, nudging Sirius in the ribs, "I saw you and Sev outside. . . AND YOUR HAND WAS ON HIS WAIST! After that, I had to go, because Lily was dragging me over to meet some crackpot whose name I don't remember, but WHAT DID I MISS?"
"You put your hand on his waist?" Peter repeated.
"Aww!" Remus exclaimed.
Sirius glared at him. "Moony, shut up. And for your information, James, you didn't miss ANYTHING. I was DEMONSTRATING something."
Peter sniggered. "What were you demonstrating? Tell us, Padfoot."
"Uh, the Heimlich Maneuver."
"I don't think you're aware of the proper way to execute that, then," James commented, "because what I saw wouldn't help ME if I was choking."
Remus rolled his eyes. "James, if you were choking, it's because you tried to swallow a hamburger whole or something stupid like that, and even the Heimlich wouldn't help you then. You're just stupid that way."
"Thank you, Moony," Sirius agreed, nodding his head.
"Come on, guys. We've got to pick stuff up," Remus said, gesturing to James and Remus and leaving Sirius alone.
//all i did was touch his waist. is it that serious?//
Sirius walked over to the window and sat on the sill. Looking up at the stars, he tried to count them, as he always did when life seemed too much for him.
What was he thinking, touching Severus's waist like that? The guy probably hated him now. . . it was too much, too soon. They'd only had their first serious conversation a week ago, and now there was waist touching? That was like MOLESTATION in some countries.
He shook his head and vowed never to touch Severus again. No matter now much he wanted to. Wait. . . since when had he wanted to touch Severus?
//they're lovely tonight. god i hope i didn't mess things up with him. . . we were just starting to get along.//
End of Chapter 6
Nic15- You DO brighten my day!
Alla- Snape IS pretty calm in this. . . after talking with a few of my Potterized friends for a few months about this, I have realized that I seem to have a very different view of Snape than everyone else. I always just kinda pictured him as a laid-back kind of guy who nonetheless hates the world with a passion. So that bleeds into my stories. I know that bugs a lot of people, and I'm sorry. . . : (
And about the angst: you know, I actually cut angst OUT of this (!) because I didn't want to hit you guys over the head with it too early in. Now I guess I overdid it; ah, well. There's more chapters. I'll try and ANGST (that is SUCH a funny word!) in a few more chapters; I still think it's too early and that angst of the serious variety would seem unnatural.
Thank you for bringing up meaningful points! In answer to your question about the Shrieking Shack, no, that hasn't happened yet. It will, though; I'm not one to mess with something as basic to canon as that.
Heart, and thank you for reading (if you're still reading- I know this was too long an Author's Note),
Caroline
~~
Chapter 6
Around two thirty, Severus drifted into his Common Room, with every intention of flopping down onto the first armchair he found, curling up, and falling asleep there. That's why he was so shocked when he found. . .
"Lucius!"
"Where have you BEEN?" the blonde demanded. He was sitting in a chair, reading. When he saw Severus, he threw the book down and got up, swishing around layers and layers of black clothing as he did so. How dare Snape stay out that long without telling him where he'd been? If Black was involved, he silently vowed to himself, he'd kill both of them. In his own twisted way, he supposed, he did care for Severus, and he wasn't about to give him up to that slime, Black.
"What?" Severus's head was spinning; hadn't Lucius said he was going to bed early tonight?
"For the last FIVE HOURS, Snape! Where were you?"
"Uh, studying?"
"The hell you were!"
"What does it matter to you, anyway?"
"Just tell me where you were!"
"No."
Lucius looked like someone had just slapped him, but after a few seconds he recovered. "Why?" he asked dangerously. "What are you hiding?"
"I'm not hiding anything, I just don't think I should have to tell you where I'm going all the time!"
"Snape. We've known each other all our lives. You were NOT studying. You've got this weird look on your face like you died and went to heaven- which we ALL know isn't going to happen- and besides, I had someone check the library, because I KNEW you were going to give me that line when you got back. You weren't there. Now for the last time: WHERE WERE YOU?"
But Severus had stopped listening after the first few sentences. "I have a look?"
"Yes, you have a look." Lucius stopped. He scowled. "You met a GIRL, didn't you?"
"No. Of course not."
Lucius studied him. "Yes you DID. I KNOW that look."
"No, apparently you don't know it as well as you thought, because I did not meet a girl."
Lucius rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Seriously, where the hell were you?"
"Out. I was out."
"I'm not going to get anything more from you, am I?"
"Nope. Probably not."
Lucius sighed. "I guess anything's better than tutoring that Black snot. For a Pureblood, he's the trashiest piece of filth I've ever seen. I'd like to spit on him."
"Yeah."
Suddenly sure he understood something, Lucius glanced at Severus out of the corner of his eye, gauging his reaction. "I'd like to crush his skull."
Severus only nodded.
"Like to take everyone he loves away from him and destroy them."
"Why?" There it was. One word, and Lucius was sure he understood everything. From here on out, if he was right, Snape's life- and Black's, for that matter- was going to be HELL. Sheer, unadulterated hell, with all the special Malfoy garnishes.
"Why what?" Lucius asked, his voice precariously soft.
"Why do you hate him so much?"
"LOOK at him!" Lucius replied spitefully, almost more disgusted with Snape's LACK of hate for Sirius than with Sirius's flaws themselves. "Good Merlin! He's a walking, talking representation of all things sickeningly perfect!"
"What's wrong with him?"
"Oh, don't get me STARTED. It's everything. It's the way he constantly messes with his hair, even though he knows it's probably perfect. The way he thinks he could get any girl he wants. The way he looks down at everybody like they're beneath him because he's so good and perfect! Screw him. I'm going to kill him."
This time the reaction was unmistakable. Snape shook his head, almost confidently. "No you're not."
"Snape, I want you to stop talking right now, unless you are directly responding to something I say to you."
Severus looked up at him. Like a confused little rodent. Pathetic. Pathetic that this man was the closest thing to a friend Lucius had here.
"I want you to tell me exactly what you think of Sirius Black."
"He has. . . um, black hair. . . and his name is Black. . . now that's what you call ironic. Look, it's late, and I'm really-"
"No. Tell me what you think of him."
"I hate him. He's a little prick who's far too big for his britches. He doesn't have any concept of how the real world works, and I seriously regret the day I agreed to tutor him."
"Why did you agree to tutor him?"
"Only for the money. You know I don't have a job anymore."
"You could have gotten money some other way. You're not that desperate, are you?"
"I don't know. . .ever since I quit working at the ice cream place, it's been really hard to find work."
"Bull shit. You tutor him because you enjoy his company."
"For one thing," Snape shot back, his eyes flashing dangerously, "I am insulted that you would even think such a thing. For God's sake, he's a GRYFFINDOR! A pompous, arrogant, GRYFFINDOR! And for another, I don't see how this is any business of yours!"
Lucius regarded him suspiciously for a few seconds. "It is my business," he answered finally, coldly, "because you are my friend. And as such, it is my duty to look after you, and make sure that you aren't associating with anyone you shouldn't be."
"You aren't my father. You don't own me. You can't control me. I could have a fucking LOVE AFFAIR with Black, and for one thing you couldn't stop me, and for another thing, I wouldn't care what you thought at all." He shook his head, wishing he didn't sound like such a rash, immature teenage boy. Which was, he realized upon more reflection, exactly what he was.
"No, I'm not your father, but I AM the person who's known you the longest. And if not the longest, certainly the best." Lucius dropped his voice, trying to sound soft and gentle. "Snape. . . Severus. . . can't you see that I only want to help you?"
"What, by trying to rule my life on the pretense of false accusations?"
"No one is trying to rule your life. I am trying to make sure that you stay away from Black. In the end, you will thank me."
"I can take care of myself! I can decide for myself who I will associate with! I have already decided that Black is not one of those people, and I can defend myself from him on my own, thank you very much!" Snape's eyes flashed.
"That's good to hear," Lucius replied appreciatively, but not because he believed him in the slightest. There was definitely something going on between Snape and Black, and he was prepared to go to war against the world to keep that from happening. But right now, he wanted to sleep. . . after all, it was now after three in the morning. So he let it go. "I'm going to go up to sleep. You coming?"
"I don't know. . . I think I'm going to stay down here and think for a little while."
Considering the possibility that he was wrong after all about Snape and Black, Lucius allowed his eyes to soften a little. After all, hadn't that been the look he'd had on his face for about a month after he'd met Narcissa? "There IS a girl, isn't there?" he asked, looking down at Snape sitting in a chair and staring at the wall.
"No. No girl."
Lucius smiled; that's exactly what he had said, too.
~~
Can it really be this wrong to not hate someone? Sirius is such a nice person, Severus thought to himself. So what if I like him a little bit?
"I hate Sirius Black," he said out loud, just to see what the words sounded like. He hadn't said them, or any variation, since they'd started studying together a month ago.
They didn't have the same bite, the same sting, as they'd had last month. He didn't get the same spiteful pleasure from affirming his hatred for the stupid git.
//maybe because it's not true anymore//
That didn't shock him, realizing that he didn't hate Sirius. He'd known that, he guessed, since long before he'd agreed to come to the party.
That damned party. What was he thinking, coming to that? As if his world wasn't shaken up enough already, he had to go and get Sirius Black to put his hands on his waist not once but TWICE. Damn you, Sirius, damn you for making me have to go through this.
Sirius. When had he gotten to calling him Sirius? He called him that when they were studying together, but that was just because hearing Black exclaim "Call me Sirius!" twenty-eight times a night got abrasive. When had he started calling him Sirius when he thought about him?
When had he started thinking about him?
He grunted in frustration; this was too much. Perhaps Sirius was right. Maybe the emotional load WAS too much for him. He blew out the candle next to him and stumbled up the staircases into the dormitories.
~~
"So," James said, nudging Sirius in the ribs, "I saw you and Sev outside. . . AND YOUR HAND WAS ON HIS WAIST! After that, I had to go, because Lily was dragging me over to meet some crackpot whose name I don't remember, but WHAT DID I MISS?"
"You put your hand on his waist?" Peter repeated.
"Aww!" Remus exclaimed.
Sirius glared at him. "Moony, shut up. And for your information, James, you didn't miss ANYTHING. I was DEMONSTRATING something."
Peter sniggered. "What were you demonstrating? Tell us, Padfoot."
"Uh, the Heimlich Maneuver."
"I don't think you're aware of the proper way to execute that, then," James commented, "because what I saw wouldn't help ME if I was choking."
Remus rolled his eyes. "James, if you were choking, it's because you tried to swallow a hamburger whole or something stupid like that, and even the Heimlich wouldn't help you then. You're just stupid that way."
"Thank you, Moony," Sirius agreed, nodding his head.
"Come on, guys. We've got to pick stuff up," Remus said, gesturing to James and Remus and leaving Sirius alone.
//all i did was touch his waist. is it that serious?//
Sirius walked over to the window and sat on the sill. Looking up at the stars, he tried to count them, as he always did when life seemed too much for him.
What was he thinking, touching Severus's waist like that? The guy probably hated him now. . . it was too much, too soon. They'd only had their first serious conversation a week ago, and now there was waist touching? That was like MOLESTATION in some countries.
He shook his head and vowed never to touch Severus again. No matter now much he wanted to. Wait. . . since when had he wanted to touch Severus?
//they're lovely tonight. god i hope i didn't mess things up with him. . . we were just starting to get along.//
End of Chapter 6