..:::: How.Would.I.Know ::::..
Email: heavy_as_empty@hotmail.com
Webpage: www.sadly-beautiful.com
Mr. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story and I don't own Dark Angel, oh the harsh reality. Don't sue me or I'll sue you for suing me. Actually, do sue me; that would bring me one step closer to Gail Berman which means I could beat the unholy shit out of her. Yay.
Authors Notes: This was going to be a serious story but it seems I am incapable of making such a thing. I tried to keep the humour as minimal as possible but I can't stop it, it's a damn curse. Oh well, this takes place in Season 1, the good season. Max and Logan forever. I'm sorry M/Aers but your shipping preference is seriously whacked. M/A never excised except for the pretending Max did for a while so how the hell can you call them a pairing. Get off the drugs. I don't know where this story is gonna go, probably the land of fairy floss fluff but I don't see what is wrong with that. The lack of M/L stories out there is depressing me so maybe I'll write a real story, just tell me what you want me to do. That was my inconspicuous beg for reviews if you missed it. :o)
Ok this story takes place just after Hit a sista back. It isn't a re-do of Meow so lets just pretend that the exo is working and Max doesn't want to screw everything with 3 legs. Just 100% M/L un-called for, not needed, worthless, no purpose fluff-a-thon. I know the storyline has been done to death but hopefully I can bring something else to it. Maybe make it so bad no-one will ever use this concept again. Muhahah...ahaha...haha ok that's enough.
~ Chapter 1 ~
--------------------------
Ah Rain.
Some found it to be cleansing, refreshing, replenishing, and beautiful. Some think of it as a gift from the heavens, a sign that the big mechanical rain maker up in the sky is still working. Other's think of it as a necessity, without rain we would have no water, without water we would die or something logical of the sort. Then there was Max, she thought rain was well...just one big pain in the ass. Ok, make that a colossal pain in the ass.
"Does it have to rain all the god damn time?!" Max cursed under her breath, wiping away the stray tendrils of hair gluing to the sides of her face. Original Cindy chuckled at her friend's impatience and blunt hatred towards anything that annoyed her. "Boo, you just gotta keep on keepin on, this rain doesn't look like it's gonna stop anytime soon so you may as well get used to it."
"But why? Why today? Why any day? Why Seattle? Why me?! Why can't the clouds scoot over to Chicago, or even better, Mexico and shower shit all over them?!" Max finished the sentence in a record breaking 4.3 seconds and let out an overly audible disgruntled sigh. Original Cindy looked over at her friend a let a small smile tug at the corner of her mouth which evidently turned into a lopsided grin when she saw the seriousness behind Max's words etched into her usually un-readable face.
Max looked over at her friend, anger radiating from her eyes. "What the hell are you smirking about?" she demanded, if Cindy wasn't her boo then she would have already messed that smirk into a frown with her artistic fist but there was a thing called friendship standing in the way. Damn morals.
"Sheesh Max, I just can't believe how worked up you get about things. It's not like you can't get a ladder, climb up into the sky and beat god into a chunk of badly processed meat just because it's raining. There is nothing you can do about it so you may as well get over it and get back to work unless you wanna have another thing to be pissed off about, Normal will have both our asses if we don't do minimum time today." With that said Original Cindy stood up and started walking towards Normal's desk to pick up her second delivery for the day (well it was 4:24pm after all)
Max sluggishly started to stand, leaning against a few lockers for support. Picking up her bag and tossing it over her shoulder, she slammed her locker with a little too much force. A few people turned around from what they where doing and looked over in Max's direction abruptly. A few daggers shot in their direction by Max sent them on their way quite quickly. Everyone that had met Max knew that if she was pissed you shouldn't mess with her. Full stop. Of course that meant if you wanted to mess with her you couldn't do it all that often. That sounded dirty. Anyway, I'm sure you got the point, Max had PMS twenty-four six. Leaving out Sunday. Sunday was her happy day.
Um. Yeah.
"What you got for me Normal?" Max leaned against the desk, put her hands under her chin and looked in his direction expectantly.
From the dispatch area came Normal's muffled reply "Package going to Sector 5, 341 Celladoor, It's a hot run so chop chop missy miss" Without turning around he proceeded to throw the package behind him, not really caring where it landed. Max looked up from staring at the unusual stain on Normal's chair (AN: Gross), in slow motion the package whirled through the air, even attempting a backwards somersault twist with a kick. It got pretty good height, maybe 2 metres or so then it started its freefall. The rain had made Max a little big sluggish and if I didn't mention before, pissed so her reflexes weren't in tip top optimal performance. What goes up, must come down.
"Heh...Ow"
The package made its beautiful landing right on Max's noggin. Well I bet you didn't see that one coming readers. Max stared blankly into space, wavered a little to the left, then to the right, a little bit to the left again, and then fell backwards. The audible 'thump' that followed gave the impression that hitting the ground may have hurt a little bit.
Original Cindy ran to Max's side, yelling obscenities at Normal she started to tap Max's cheeks in a vain attempt to wake her unconscious friend up. She took off her sweater and put it under Max's head, that's when she noticed how cold and clammy Max's skin was and thin sheet of sweat starting to appear on her forehead. "This isn't good" Cindy whispered to herself. Thankyou Captain obvious.
"Normal?! Bring me the phone, I need to call someone!" Cindy yelled in Normal's direction, he immediately handed the receiver to her, afraid of what she might do if he didn't. She quickly punched in a few numbers. After a few dozen rings the call connected.
"Hello?" came the breathless reply from the other end.
"Logan? You got Original Cindy here" Cindy was a tincy-wincy little bit curious to find out why he was so out of breath but she was too worried about Max to ask stupid questions like that "...Why are you so out of breath??" Dammit.
"Err...umm. I was just working out, you kinda caught me at a bad time" Logan inwardly shrugged. Smeh, that excuse would do. The 10 second pause on the other end of receiver was his queue to say something so he took the opportunity to change the subject "What's up?"
"Um right. It's Max." Logan's ears pricked at the mention of Max's name, this couldn't be good. "She got hit in the head by a 10kg hot run of French baloney. It's knocked her out cold. She won't wake up, I'm really worried."
"I'll be right over" Logan ended the call and scooted as fast as he could towards the exo, quickly strapping himself into the scary piece of equipment and briskly puttering towards his even scarier car. Soon enough he pulled up to Jam Pony and ran inside. He looked around the room and quickly spotted the mass of people at the dispatch desk, sure they where only 3 metres away from where he was currently standing but the guy has glasses, give him a break.
"Where is she?" Logan spoke as he walked towards the desk. He looked down and spotted Max sprawled out on the floor, limbs in every which direction. Wow, didn't know she was that flexible.
"Holy Crap" He quickly crouched down at her side and picked her up, the exo making constipated mechanical sounds straining under the extra weight.
"Come on everyone, back to work! This is not [insert comical retort here] Bip bip bip!!" Normal yelled to his employee's. Everyone started to go back to work, no longer interested. More interested in making some money. Normal walked back to his desk and started handing out packages, assured that the situation would be taken care of by Logan, I mean, he shouldn't take responsibility, it's not like he hit her in the head, the package hit her. Geez.
"Thanks for calling me Cindy, I'll take her back to my place, she probably just needs a bit of T.L.C." Logan expressed his appreciation to Cindy for calling him instead of taking care of it herself, that gave him some sort of ego inflation. "You just take care of my boo, if you don't I'm gonna beat you to death with the baloney, chair or no chair, got it?" she stared at him with the look of a deranged mental patient, the slight twitch in the corner of her mouth told Logan she was serious. He nodded and gave her a small smile, slightly worried for his life. "I...I'll get Max to call you later, ok?" Logan stuttered.
"Hmm. I better get back to work before Normal fires my ass" Cindy gave him one final look and started walking out of Jam Pony with multiple packages in her hands. 'Damn she's scary' Logan thought to himself as he looked down at the armful of Max he was currently holding.
As if on queue Max opened her eyes slightly and wrinkled her forehead "Logan...??"
He glanced down at her face taking note of the sheen of sweat that was evident on her forehead and the large bump the size of Mt. Rainer that was starting to appear on the top of her scalp. You could have bottled his worry and sold it to street kids for a bargain price if you wanted to.
"Shh, I'm gonna take you home, ok?" Logan whispered into Max's ear. She didn't reply just mumbled a soft "Hmm" and snuggled closer into his cashmere sweater. Mmm cashmere, sooo soft. Logan walked as quick as his little robotic legs would take him towards his Aztec. The rain was coming down in sheets and seems how he had parked the car an appropriate 67 metres or so away from Jam Pony's entrance running was quite a good idea.
Finally he made it to the car and carefully placed Max in the front seat, strapping her in and stealing an appreciative glance at her wet t-shirt. Ok, maybe two. He jogged around to the other side of the car and started making his way back to foggle towers.
--------------------------
Email: heavy_as_empty@hotmail.com
Webpage: www.sadly-beautiful.com
Mr. Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story and I don't own Dark Angel, oh the harsh reality. Don't sue me or I'll sue you for suing me. Actually, do sue me; that would bring me one step closer to Gail Berman which means I could beat the unholy shit out of her. Yay.
Authors Notes: This was going to be a serious story but it seems I am incapable of making such a thing. I tried to keep the humour as minimal as possible but I can't stop it, it's a damn curse. Oh well, this takes place in Season 1, the good season. Max and Logan forever. I'm sorry M/Aers but your shipping preference is seriously whacked. M/A never excised except for the pretending Max did for a while so how the hell can you call them a pairing. Get off the drugs. I don't know where this story is gonna go, probably the land of fairy floss fluff but I don't see what is wrong with that. The lack of M/L stories out there is depressing me so maybe I'll write a real story, just tell me what you want me to do. That was my inconspicuous beg for reviews if you missed it. :o)
Ok this story takes place just after Hit a sista back. It isn't a re-do of Meow so lets just pretend that the exo is working and Max doesn't want to screw everything with 3 legs. Just 100% M/L un-called for, not needed, worthless, no purpose fluff-a-thon. I know the storyline has been done to death but hopefully I can bring something else to it. Maybe make it so bad no-one will ever use this concept again. Muhahah...ahaha...haha ok that's enough.
~ Chapter 1 ~
--------------------------
Ah Rain.
Some found it to be cleansing, refreshing, replenishing, and beautiful. Some think of it as a gift from the heavens, a sign that the big mechanical rain maker up in the sky is still working. Other's think of it as a necessity, without rain we would have no water, without water we would die or something logical of the sort. Then there was Max, she thought rain was well...just one big pain in the ass. Ok, make that a colossal pain in the ass.
"Does it have to rain all the god damn time?!" Max cursed under her breath, wiping away the stray tendrils of hair gluing to the sides of her face. Original Cindy chuckled at her friend's impatience and blunt hatred towards anything that annoyed her. "Boo, you just gotta keep on keepin on, this rain doesn't look like it's gonna stop anytime soon so you may as well get used to it."
"But why? Why today? Why any day? Why Seattle? Why me?! Why can't the clouds scoot over to Chicago, or even better, Mexico and shower shit all over them?!" Max finished the sentence in a record breaking 4.3 seconds and let out an overly audible disgruntled sigh. Original Cindy looked over at her friend a let a small smile tug at the corner of her mouth which evidently turned into a lopsided grin when she saw the seriousness behind Max's words etched into her usually un-readable face.
Max looked over at her friend, anger radiating from her eyes. "What the hell are you smirking about?" she demanded, if Cindy wasn't her boo then she would have already messed that smirk into a frown with her artistic fist but there was a thing called friendship standing in the way. Damn morals.
"Sheesh Max, I just can't believe how worked up you get about things. It's not like you can't get a ladder, climb up into the sky and beat god into a chunk of badly processed meat just because it's raining. There is nothing you can do about it so you may as well get over it and get back to work unless you wanna have another thing to be pissed off about, Normal will have both our asses if we don't do minimum time today." With that said Original Cindy stood up and started walking towards Normal's desk to pick up her second delivery for the day (well it was 4:24pm after all)
Max sluggishly started to stand, leaning against a few lockers for support. Picking up her bag and tossing it over her shoulder, she slammed her locker with a little too much force. A few people turned around from what they where doing and looked over in Max's direction abruptly. A few daggers shot in their direction by Max sent them on their way quite quickly. Everyone that had met Max knew that if she was pissed you shouldn't mess with her. Full stop. Of course that meant if you wanted to mess with her you couldn't do it all that often. That sounded dirty. Anyway, I'm sure you got the point, Max had PMS twenty-four six. Leaving out Sunday. Sunday was her happy day.
Um. Yeah.
"What you got for me Normal?" Max leaned against the desk, put her hands under her chin and looked in his direction expectantly.
From the dispatch area came Normal's muffled reply "Package going to Sector 5, 341 Celladoor, It's a hot run so chop chop missy miss" Without turning around he proceeded to throw the package behind him, not really caring where it landed. Max looked up from staring at the unusual stain on Normal's chair (AN: Gross), in slow motion the package whirled through the air, even attempting a backwards somersault twist with a kick. It got pretty good height, maybe 2 metres or so then it started its freefall. The rain had made Max a little big sluggish and if I didn't mention before, pissed so her reflexes weren't in tip top optimal performance. What goes up, must come down.
"Heh...Ow"
The package made its beautiful landing right on Max's noggin. Well I bet you didn't see that one coming readers. Max stared blankly into space, wavered a little to the left, then to the right, a little bit to the left again, and then fell backwards. The audible 'thump' that followed gave the impression that hitting the ground may have hurt a little bit.
Original Cindy ran to Max's side, yelling obscenities at Normal she started to tap Max's cheeks in a vain attempt to wake her unconscious friend up. She took off her sweater and put it under Max's head, that's when she noticed how cold and clammy Max's skin was and thin sheet of sweat starting to appear on her forehead. "This isn't good" Cindy whispered to herself. Thankyou Captain obvious.
"Normal?! Bring me the phone, I need to call someone!" Cindy yelled in Normal's direction, he immediately handed the receiver to her, afraid of what she might do if he didn't. She quickly punched in a few numbers. After a few dozen rings the call connected.
"Hello?" came the breathless reply from the other end.
"Logan? You got Original Cindy here" Cindy was a tincy-wincy little bit curious to find out why he was so out of breath but she was too worried about Max to ask stupid questions like that "...Why are you so out of breath??" Dammit.
"Err...umm. I was just working out, you kinda caught me at a bad time" Logan inwardly shrugged. Smeh, that excuse would do. The 10 second pause on the other end of receiver was his queue to say something so he took the opportunity to change the subject "What's up?"
"Um right. It's Max." Logan's ears pricked at the mention of Max's name, this couldn't be good. "She got hit in the head by a 10kg hot run of French baloney. It's knocked her out cold. She won't wake up, I'm really worried."
"I'll be right over" Logan ended the call and scooted as fast as he could towards the exo, quickly strapping himself into the scary piece of equipment and briskly puttering towards his even scarier car. Soon enough he pulled up to Jam Pony and ran inside. He looked around the room and quickly spotted the mass of people at the dispatch desk, sure they where only 3 metres away from where he was currently standing but the guy has glasses, give him a break.
"Where is she?" Logan spoke as he walked towards the desk. He looked down and spotted Max sprawled out on the floor, limbs in every which direction. Wow, didn't know she was that flexible.
"Holy Crap" He quickly crouched down at her side and picked her up, the exo making constipated mechanical sounds straining under the extra weight.
"Come on everyone, back to work! This is not [insert comical retort here] Bip bip bip!!" Normal yelled to his employee's. Everyone started to go back to work, no longer interested. More interested in making some money. Normal walked back to his desk and started handing out packages, assured that the situation would be taken care of by Logan, I mean, he shouldn't take responsibility, it's not like he hit her in the head, the package hit her. Geez.
"Thanks for calling me Cindy, I'll take her back to my place, she probably just needs a bit of T.L.C." Logan expressed his appreciation to Cindy for calling him instead of taking care of it herself, that gave him some sort of ego inflation. "You just take care of my boo, if you don't I'm gonna beat you to death with the baloney, chair or no chair, got it?" she stared at him with the look of a deranged mental patient, the slight twitch in the corner of her mouth told Logan she was serious. He nodded and gave her a small smile, slightly worried for his life. "I...I'll get Max to call you later, ok?" Logan stuttered.
"Hmm. I better get back to work before Normal fires my ass" Cindy gave him one final look and started walking out of Jam Pony with multiple packages in her hands. 'Damn she's scary' Logan thought to himself as he looked down at the armful of Max he was currently holding.
As if on queue Max opened her eyes slightly and wrinkled her forehead "Logan...??"
He glanced down at her face taking note of the sheen of sweat that was evident on her forehead and the large bump the size of Mt. Rainer that was starting to appear on the top of her scalp. You could have bottled his worry and sold it to street kids for a bargain price if you wanted to.
"Shh, I'm gonna take you home, ok?" Logan whispered into Max's ear. She didn't reply just mumbled a soft "Hmm" and snuggled closer into his cashmere sweater. Mmm cashmere, sooo soft. Logan walked as quick as his little robotic legs would take him towards his Aztec. The rain was coming down in sheets and seems how he had parked the car an appropriate 67 metres or so away from Jam Pony's entrance running was quite a good idea.
Finally he made it to the car and carefully placed Max in the front seat, strapping her in and stealing an appreciative glance at her wet t-shirt. Ok, maybe two. He jogged around to the other side of the car and started making his way back to foggle towers.
--------------------------