STILLNESS BROKEN: Part Two - Fantastic Terrors Never Felt Before

Disclaimer: They aren't mine. Funny that.

Author's Note: All the titles in this story come from Edgar Allen Poe's poem 'the Raven'. Read it. It's good.

All constructive feedback much appreciated.

***

Sara blinked a few times, trying to remain focused on the show she and Grissom were watching on the Discovery Channel. Unfortunately, she was tired and Grissom's lap made a rather good pillow, and within a few minutes that and the fact that he was gently stroking her hair had convinced her that she could just close her eyes for a few minutes. She'd wake up at the end of the show and then they could go to bed.

Smiling peacefully, she drifted off to sleep.

***

She woke several hours later at the sound of Grissom frantically calling her name. They were still on the sofa in the living room and she forced herself to roll over and look up at him.

She may have been half-asleep, but as Las Vegas' self-proclaimed expert on nightmares, she recognised the haunted look in his eyes and the shallow, frightened breathing. Instantly alert, she sat up and gently stroked his cheek with one hand. He jumped, and slowly brought his eyes to focus on her. "Sara?"

"Hey, Griss, what's wrong?" In five months, she'd never known him to have a nightmare. Keeping them both awake because of the twisted terrors the mind could create had been her role until now.

"Sara, you won't leave me, will you?" His voice was hesitant, worried. Scared. Sara caught her breath. What had he been dreaming about?

She frowned. "Of course not." Pausing, she asked, "Bad dream?"

He nodded, an almost child-like expression on his face. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I have enough of them." Guiltily relishing the chance to be the strong one for a change, she wrapped her arms around him and rested her chin on the top of his head, feeling his warm weight against hers. "Want to talk about it?" Grissom was not good at talking about things; he was even worse than she was, but she was going to give him every chance. She knew from personal experience that talking did more than anything else to chase the demons away.

He sighed. She held him tighter.

Finally, he began to speak. "It was just a silly dream."

"Not silly."

"I dreamed that I woke up, in our bed – and you weren't there. I came out here to look for you, I searched the apartment, but I couldn't find you. So I went to the lab and all the others were there – Catherine, Nick, Warrick, everyone who should have been there was there, except you. And then I was searching all over the place – all over town – and there were people everywhere, but none of them was you. And no matter how hard I looked, or where I looked, I couldn't find you, Sara. And I just felt so alone, in the middle of all those people. More alone than I've ever felt in my life before." He sighed again.

Sara kissed the top of his head. "It was just a dream, honey. A nightmare. I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you. I promise."

"But you can't make any promises. Things could be different in a year. In five years. One day I'll be old."

"And I'll still love you." Why, she wondered, couldn't it be as simple for him as it was for her? She loved him. He loved her. The fifteen year age gap – it didn't matter. As far as Sara was concerned, it never would.

"But you don't know that. Not for sure. I could be hobbling round with a walking stick and hearing aids, and you'd still be relatively young. You wouldn't want to be burdened with an old man like me."

"You'll never be a burden to me. Never. I want to be with you. It's what I've wanted for almost ten years. Why should I give up on you in a few years? I waited for you." She could understand his fears. They'd each been so alone before they'd found one another. What she found harder to understand was this insistence that she was just going to take off one day and leave him.

Sara knew better than anyone how hard it was to think straight after a nightmare, how hard it was to reconcile the horrors of the dream with reality. It was only the conviction that that was his problem that allowed her to keep a check on her temper. In any other situation, she probably would have been furious at the things he was suggesting. "We'll always be together," she said, firmly.

"How can you promise the future, Sara?" His voice was small. "I don't understand how you can say you'll love me in five years or ten years when you don't know what's going to happen? You could change. I could change."

It was her turn to sigh. "I can promise..." she thought a little, then began again. "I can promise you that I love you now, and that I have loved you for years, and that I love having you in my life, and that I can't imagine not having you in my life. I especially can't imagine not wanting to have you in my life. If you're not prepared to accept promises for the future, then you'll have to make do with that."

"I love you, Sara," he whispered. "And I know you love me. But I can't convince myself that you'll always be there."

"How long have you been thinking like this?" The idea that he'd been having doubts all along scared her.

"It's always been in the back of my mind... I know, on an intellectual level, that you mean everything you say and that you would never leave me. But it's had to convince my heart."

They sat in silence, wrapped up in each other. Sara was trying desperately to think of a way to convince Grissom - and his heart - that she would be there forever. "Look. Do you want to get married? Would that help?"

Grissom lifted his head off her shoulder and stared at her. Despite the look of anxiety he was still wearing, a tiny smile crossed his face. "Sara Sidle. Are you proposing to me?"

Sara considered this. "Yes." The whole thing suddenly seemed a little absurd, but she'd said it, and what was more, she realised she'd meant it. She'd given up on getting married a long time ago, but it was the ultimate commitment. If it would convince him how much she cared, she'd do it, and her heart would be in it the whole way.

"Sara..." He was still staring at her. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am, I'd happily marry you any minute. But if you don't want to marry me, then that's okay, we'll just carry on like we have been."

"I don't want you to marry me just because of this conversation," he said, slowly.

"It's not just because of this conversation. It's because of... us..." It was hard to put into words just what she was thinking and feeling.

"Do you want to get married?"

"Well, yes, but I'll be just as happy if we don't." She was having trouble gauging his reaction to her proposal. Shock, yes. Grissom was a traditionalist; he would never have expected her to propose to him. But what else was he thinking? He wasn't good with emotional commitments. What had she been thinking? The idea of marriage was likely to paralyse the man. "Look, if you don't want to get married, that's fine with me. We can just forget I ever said it and go to bed."

"Of course I want to marry you. I just..." he was obviously floundering, trying to put something into words. "The sherriff... work..."

"Could we forget about the sherriff? Just while we sort this out? I know the sherriff probably wouldn't be thrilled, but he's not likely to fire us."

"But the working environnment... he could make things difficult. Transfer you onto another shift."

"Are you avoiding the topic?" Sara asked suspiciously.

"Uh, yes."

"So if there was no sherriff, you'd marry me?" That was what she thought he'd said.

"Yes."

"You want to marry me, or you would marry me just to make me happy?" she asked for clarification, still quite unable to believe that they were having this conversation.

"Both. I want to marry you. I love you and I care about you more than I've ever cared about anyone in my life. But I don't want you to marry me just to make me feel better."

"I want to marry you because I love you and it's what people do when they really love each other."

They stared at each other, brown eyes meeting blue.

"Right," Sara said, finally. "I love you and I want to marry you. You love me and and you want to marry me. What's stopping us?"

"Well, nothing. Not really. Except for the sherriff."

"Shut up about the sherriff!" Sara yelped, before realising that he was smiling for the first time.

He gently removed her arms from around his body and knelt on one knee on the floor in front of her. "Sara Louise Sidle, will you marry me?"

"I asked first!"

"And I'm asking properly."

"All right then, yes!" As if on cue, they broke into simaltaneous broad smiles.

"Wow," said Grissom. "I never thought I'd ever get engaged. This is a whole new experience for me," he said, leaning in for a kiss.

"Well, neither have I," Sara whispered, when they parted. "So... is there anything more about this dream you'd like to talk about?"

"I think you've successfully gotten rid of all my fears." He kissed her again. "So now, we can go to bed. Right?"

Sara grinned. "Right."

Standing up, Grissom took her hand, pulled her up, and led her into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

All thoughts of the sherriff were forgotten, and Grissom never had that particular nightmare again.

THE END