I do not own any Kim Possible characters yadda, yadda, yadda…
CHAPTER TWO
Kim did a spectacular back flip off the table, landing in a fighting stance. "You guys wanna take me? Come and try."
The four members of the EGBT stood there, looking at her with mild interest. Don was the first one to speak. "Hey, Steve. Wasn't she your science partner last year, first semester?"
"Yeah. Kim Possible, I believe. So, you're working for Barkin now?"
"I don't like it. But what you're doing is illegal!"
Steve looked at her, and then shifted his gaze uncomfortably to his companions, then back to Kim. "Uh, could I talk to you? Alone?"
The other members of the EGBT exchanged knowing glances. Steve gave them a murderous look and said "That's not what I meant."
"We understand. Go and have your private talk."
Steve took Kim aside to a corner of the room. "Look. Don't tell the guys I told you this, but…we're not really evil."
"I beg your pardon? Taking over the world is very evil, not to mention illegal!"
"Taking over the world, yes, that is quite illegal. But plotting to take over the world, that's a different story. The planning phase is perfectly legal, as long as we have no intention of actually doing anything about it. Our club works like this: at the end of a meeting, one member is assigned to come up with a plot to take over the world. He needs a preliminary plot by the beginning of the next meeting. We spend the next couple of meetings ironing out any bugs in it, any place where it could go wrong, until it is perfect. Then, we laugh evilly, and put the plot in our file cabinet for future amusement."
"Then what?"
"Then, we assign someone else, and the cycle starts over again. You see, this way, we can channel our anger at things that make us angry into a hobby that brings out the evil urges that every human possesses, without running the risk of getting arrested."
"Interesting."
"Yes," said a voice, unheard by all but its owner, "interesting. Very interesting indeed."
The reason nobody heard his voice was because he was on an island on the other side of the Atlantic ocean. The voice belonged to none other than Señor Senior, Sr. He was watching the preceding through a monitor.
"Father, how is it that we came to be watching a security image from an American high school?"
"I am keeping very close watch on Kim Possible. I'm hoping for a chance to get her back for ruining our evil career." In an earlier, unseen adventure, Kim had decided that the best bet for keeping Señor Senior, Sr. and Señor Senior, Jr. from trying to take over the world again would be to deny them access to their lair, so it was now in custody of international police.
"Why is it necessary that you watch Kim Possible's every move in order to plan your revenge?"
"Because, Junior, I know nothing about her personal life. If I watch her, maybe I'll learn something that I can use to my advantage. But for now, I think I may have stumbled onto something else. Those four boys say that they have developed perfect world-domination plots, and they are just sitting around in a file cabinet, waiting to be taken."
"But, would
that not require going all the way over to America?"
"Yes, which
is why I need more time to think.
Now, go do something until I come up with an idea."
"Like what? There are no tanning booths on this island. No disco techs. Nothing except…"
"FORE!!!" A golf ball came screaming through the air and bounced off of Señor Senior, Jr's head.
"…a golf course."
"Junior, Mr. Killigan has been nothing if not hospitable to us."
"He only allows us to rent rooms in his lair because of the huge rent we are capable of paying."
"He is a professional super villain, as well as a gracious host."
"But father, he shouts in his sleep, he has no fashion sense, and just last week, a golf ball came in through the bathroom window and blew up the toilet!"
"Golf is a healthy, outdoor hobby. You could use a few more of those."
"Do you always have to change the subject like that?"
"Not now, Junior. I need to think for a while."
"Oh, fine. I'll just go tan myself on the eighteenth hole."
"Ye will not, laddie!" Duff Killigan shouted from across the green. "Tha's where I'm headed next!"
* * *
"An evil genius club? That definitely scores a solid 9.0 on the 'I-Never-Saw-This-Coming' scale."
Kim was at Bueno Nacho with her two best friends, Ron Stoppable and Monique. Monique had a last name, but nobody ever bothered finding out what is was.
"I know!" Kim exclaimed, in response to Monique's statement. "And the weirdest part is that they aren't even evil! They come up with evil plots, hammer out all the dents, laugh like maniacs, and then forget about them!"
Ron swallowed a mouthful of burrito. "So, KP, are you gonna tell Barkin?"
"I don't know, Ron. They seem like nice guys, who just happen to have a weird hobby. But I did promise Barkin that I would tell him."
"You know, if they're running such a…" Ron fumbled around for the right word, before eventually settling on "…not-evil…club, why are they keeping it a secret from Barkin?"
"Come on, Ron. You know Barkin would never approve a club called 'Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow'."
Monique gave Kim a very serious look. "Kim, Barkin approved the 'Penguin of the Month' club."
Kim put her head down on the table. Her friends weren't going to be of any help. Ron picked up his burrito, only to find that it was now an empty tortilla.
"Rufus! Have you been in my burrito again?"
Rufus, Ron's naked mole rat, gave him a guilty look from the edge of the table.
"Kim, you never answered my first question…are you going to tell Barkin?"
"I already answered your question."
"Well? Are you?"
"I don't know, Ron. I just…don't…know."
* * *
"I don't know, Duff. I just don't know."
"I's easy, laddie. Just put the ball on the tee, judge the distance to the hole, bend yer knees, pull back, and swing!"
Señor Senior, Jr. put the ball on the tee, judged the distance to the hole, bent his knees, pulled back, and swung. Miraculously, he managed to hit the ball, but it flew straight up into the air and landed squarely on Killigan's head.
"Aye. I think tha's enough for one day."
"Junior! I have it! I have decided how to obtain those world domination plots!"
"Father, can't you see I'm in the middle of a lesson? Can't it wait?"
"Well…" Señor Senior, Sr. saw the panicked look on Duff Killigan's face. "No. This is of utmost importance, and requires our immediate attention!"
Killigan let out an audible sigh of relief.
"All right, father. What is your 'master plan' this time?"
"You will get them for us, by going undercover at Middleton High School. I have already submitted your application."
"My application? You mean…?"
"Yes."
"At a public school?"
"It will only be for a little while."
"Father, don't you think they'll notice that I'm a little…old for high school?"
Señor Senior, Sr. shook his head. "Junior, I have not signed you up as a student."
"Okay, people! Listen up!" Mr. Barkin shouted at the assembly the following day. Kim had not said anything to him yet.
"I regret to inform you," Barkin continued, "that our football coach left us in order to pursue his life's dream of becoming a gastroenterologist. Normally, I would be filling in the vacated post, but as this seems to be a full time thing, we have a new coach. Please welcome…" he read the card, trying to determine if what he saw was, in fact, a real name. "Señor Senior, Jr."
Kim felt her jaw hit the floor.
So? Whaddya think? How's it going? Tell me!!!