Um
okay, I am very scared right now. This is two firsts for me, my first
songfic and my first kingdom hearts fic and I'm getting nervous about
it. Sorry if it sucks but I had to get this out of my
system.
Disclaimer; I do not own Kingdom Hearts or Imaginary
by Evanescence The word in the are the lyrics.
It
was morning but the light was very unwelcome for one person. Brazen
uninvited sunlight came to press against his limp body shaking him
rudely awake. Slowly, painfully Riku opened his eyes to stare dully
at the ceiling above him. For a moment he hesitated at the threshold
of sleep and wakefulness, not wanting to face the world.
Soft
thoughts of sleep shattered at the agonized scream of his clock,
shrill shrieks of intolerable pain.
I linger in the
doorway
Of alarm clock screaming
Monsters calling my
name
Snarling savagely Riku seized the little piece of tech
and ended it's suffering, smashing it as hard as he could against the
corner of his bedside table. One hand ran through his hair making the
silver silk arch in strange ways. Goddamned bed head.
Reality
called for him, tried to take him back into its hold but he shied
away from it. Please just let him sleep.
Once more he fell
back to lay prone and stare at the blank canvas of plaster resting
above him. Right now he hated white. Hate welled up inside of him and
he wanted to do something, to change the monotonous pattern that
washed around him, so familiar, so despised. But lacking that he just
wanted to sleep a little more. Never mind that he had slept for
almost twelve hours already, he just wanted to continue dreaming.
Sometimes dreams are better than reality.
Let me stay
Where
the wind will whisper to me
Soft breezes found their way
past the flung open window and ripped open curtains to brush against
his cheek, ruffling his hair. For a moment he let himself relax, to
dream that it wasn't just the wind caressing his cheek but the person
he longed for and would never have. Maybe, maybe if he just stayed in
bed and held very still he could dream hard enough to make it seem
real.
True, it would never be real, but if it could just seem
to be for a short amount of time...Riku sighed softly, imagining
himself turning his head to brush against inviting fingers moving in
gentle pattern along his jaw line, up his cheek to curl in his hair
possessively. A quiet sound of pleasure escaped his lips as his love
bent and claimed his mouth in a chaste soft kiss.
Aqua eyes
opened to smile hazily at the one above him as he whispered huskily,
"I love you..."
Where the raindrops as they're
falling tell a story
Rainy splashes caught his ear,
muttering little things of no importance that he was drawn to listen
to anyway. Tiny tears gathered at the edge of an aqua pool and fell
in mimicry of the rain dribbling past his window. "I love
you..." Again he muttered the words and again there was no
response, but what could he expect? Nothing had changed; he was still
in bed, still alone.
It was too late, he was too awake right
now to slip back into the longed for sleep. Reluctantly Riku got out
of bed and went to his dresser to pull on a shirt. After a moment he
shifted the other articles aside to fish out a very worn, very secret
notebook. With the near sacred book in his hand he went back to bed,
lying on his stomach with the bedding pulled over his head as he
opened it to a new page and started writing.
Soon there were
several pages ripped out and crumbled in macabre parodies of what
they once were. Riku lay still for a moment; chin on his arms under
the violet sheet that billowed with the wind and just stared at the
paper for a while. Would he ever get this right?
In my field
of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
Again
his imagination drifted to think of sweet full lips smiling at him,
soft spikes of hair blowing across them gently as he was lulled to
sleep by the feeling of being loved. That smile was better than
candy. Hmm, if the person he longed for was candy then he was a
diabetic because he could never ever have it. Riku smiled sadly at
the paper he had been working on and tore it too from the notebook to
crumple it into a sloppy flower and drop it to join the others that
were starting to grow in a pile around him.
It was hopeless.
With a sound of paper rustling he rolled over and held the sheet
tight over his head to block out the detestable white ceiling. The
breeze filtered through it like it was nothing, catching enough in
the material to make it move gently.
I lie inside myself for
hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
How many
times had he done this? Laid in bed listening to the rain and
daydreamed about impossible things. It felt good though, to for a
moment exist just here in a carpet of paper beneath his sheets,
dreaming. He liked sleep more than being awake, if he had a choice he
would never wake up.
Minutes, hours ticked by unnoticed by
him, a forgotten dreamer gazing into a sky of his own making. His
sky...
Riku chuckled at the thought. My sky, I like that. But
what would "my sky" think of to hear me say that? Probably
would never come near me again.
...I hate being in
love...
Hours later Riku gave up to the complaints of his
stomach and left his haven. It was still raining so after he got food
he couldn't go to the beach to talk to everyone; he had to settle
with curling on the couch and flipping channels.
Don't say
I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos, your
reality
There was nothing good on, just news and soap
operas. Riku paused at one news report talking about acts of
terrorism and changed the channel only to find another detailing the
murder of three girls his age. With a grimace he kept flipping until
all the shows blurred together in little snippets of color and sound,
he didn't want to pause long enough for something to make
sense.
Finally he just turned it off and ran back into his
room, shutting his door on the world.
I know well what lies
beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world
to escape
Instead of getting back in bed he pulled a blanket
off and wrapped it around his legs as he settled on the floor by it.
For a while he stared at the blank paper before starting fresh,
trying to compose everything he felt into a single simple letter of
confession.
When he dragged the blanket down several of paper
balls had followed and now they chased each other around his
feet.
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds
of lullaby
Maybe, should he write about how light he felt
when they were together? How those large blue eyes lifted him up with
a glance and made him exceed his limits? The way it made him feel
sweet and airy, like he didn't exist and it was all right.
Why
was he bothering? He would never find the write words and even if he
did he would never give the letter away, there was a friendship to be
lost here.
Riku put aside his notebook and pencil to curl up
with his chin on his knees, trying to hug away the cold. Once again
he tugged his sheets over him but they did nothing. The chill he felt
was in his heart and only one person could touch it. And he never
would.
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my
purple sky fly over me
For a long time he sat there, not
dreaming this time, just thinking round about thoughts that did no
one any good. And everything seemed to loop back to one thing, one
person. His sky, his love, his dream.
Swallowed up by the
sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent
nights
With a growl Riku seized his pillow, buried his face
into it and started screaming in frustration with all his might. "I
love you! Why don't you see that? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!" For a
long time he kept screaming into the fabric, trying to relieve
himself of the pain inside and a little afraid to stop to be left
alone in the quiet house again. But eventually his voice quit on him
and the silence wrapped around him like another blanket, only sounds
of raining breaking through the cotton air.
Oh how I long
for the deep sleep dreaming
Riku weakly crawled back into
his bed, dragging the blankets and notebook with him. Life hurt so
much. He just wanted to sleep and escape his pain, to dream of a
happily ever after. Of his love, his sky.
The god of
imaginary light
After a moment he opened the book to a fresh
piece and scrawled a message quickly before tearing it out and
crumpling it like the others. Instead of dropping it to the ground
with the others he threw it, angry and not caring that it went out
his window.
The little ball of paper was caught by the wind
and taken a ways away to the beach where it finally landed, too heavy
with rain to continue it's flight. Slowly it uncurled to reveal its
message to the crying sky and anyone who would pause in a downpour to
read a piece of scrap paper.
-Sora
Omae wa ore no
hikari
You are my light
Well?
Please review if you feel like and I'm sorry about how bad this was.
Um one last thing I'd like to clarify, Sora means sky and Riku means
earth, that's what the whole my sky thingy was about.well then bye!
runs away before someone hurts him for this terrible fic
