Title: Advoco Lupum, Chapter 3
Description: Being a werewolf is becoming even more difficult for Remus Lupin. Voldemort's after him, he's all but imprisoned at Hogwarts 'for his own safety,' and his nephew, Sirius and Harry are all driving him up the wall. And what does all this have to do with some dusty old book?
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: SB/RL and possibly others, When I figure out who I'll let you know.
Spoilers: AU after Harry's fourth year but with a few pieces of background info from OotP.
Disclaimer: I don't own them no matter how much I wish I did.
Notes: This starts at the end of PoA and then skips quickly to the summer after Harry's fourth year. It's a sequel of sorts to my fic 'From the Ashes' but that part of the plot won't show up for a few chapters. Told from Remus' pov, but may change in later chapters. Oh, and since this takes place in Harry's fifth year, OotP doesn't happen.
Warnings: Slash, a little violence, language (mostly from Sirius) and discussions about Remus' sex life or lack there of.
Luckily for Sirius, Aaneas came back into the kitchen and rescued him from anymore of my attempts at cooking. He took something out of the icebox and putting it in the 'micrawarmer' or something like that. I'd lived there for a year and I still didn't know what it was called or how it worked.
"Where'd the dog go and who's he?" he asked, giving Sirius a skeptical look and holding out the warmed food to me. I in turn promptly put the plate of food in front of Sirius who was soon too busy eating to answer Aaneas' question. Aaneas was used to strange people stopping by to talk with me, but usually I introduced them to him. I briefly wondered if he was old enough to remember any of the news broadcasts when Sirius had escaped. Dear Gods, had that really been two years ago?
"He's an old friend of mine, remember how I said that someone would be staying with us for a little while?" I had mentioned it when I'd first gotten the letter from Dumbledore. He nodded and then looked back at Sirius in curiosity.
"Why are your robes so dirty?" I was too stunned to reprimand Aanei for being rude, but Sirius just paused in scraping the last bits of food from his plate and smiled at him slightly.
"They're the only one's I've got, so I've worn them a bit thin," he replied, yawning and scratching at the more-than-stubble on his chin. Aaneas was looking at me like I'd let a madman into the house. And maybe I had, but he didn't need to know that.
"The shower's the first door on the left at the top of the stairs," I said as I collected his plate and dumped it into the sink with the other dirty dishes. "And I'll try and find a robe that'll fit you for you to change into." Sirius frowned, fidgeting slightly.
"You don't have to do that. I'm fine, you don't need to fuss," he said nervously. I mock glared at him.
"You are not wearing those," I gestured towards the faded gray patchwork that he called a robe, "while you are living under this roof. And I am not fussing…I'm being a good friend." I smiled at him fondly, a bit embarrassed after the statement left my mouth. And I was even more embarrassed a moment later as Sirius rose from his chair and pulled me into a fierce hug.
"Thank you," he said when he pulled back and looked me in the eye. "I think I'll go and take that bath now. It was nice to meet you Aaneas." He said with a nod at my nephew before disappearing up the stairs.
"Who is that, Uncle Remus?" he asked, sounding rather annoyed that we hadn't answered his question before.
"His name is Sirius," I said, smiling down at him and promptly went in search of some clothes for Sirius. Aaneas fallowed me.
"He's a friend of yours?" Aaneas asked as I rummaged through my dresser. I grunted in assent as I tried to reach the back of a magically enlarged drawer. "Why doesn't he have any other clothes?"
"Because he's in a bit of a spot right now," I answered, moving my search from the dresser to the closet. "And that is also why he'll be staying with us."
"Because he's gotten into trouble?" Aaneas said, looking doubtful, annoyed and scared all at the same time.
"I never said that," I countered defensively. I really didn't want to have to explain exactly why Sirius here just yet, and Aanei's comment had been a bit close for comfort. "A-ha!" I said triumphantly, pulling a pair of jeans out from under a box to join the t-shirt I'd already picked up.
"Um, Uncle Remus?" Aaneas' worried voice made me stop in my rummaging and look at him. "What about, well…full moons and stuff?" I sighed and smiled sadly to myself. He was starting to get as paranoid as I was about our 'condition'. I'm not sure whether I should be glad or feel guilty.
"Sirius already knows that I'm a werewolf," I say as I stand, trying to balance the bundle of clothes in my arms. "And he's one of the few people who won't think anything of it when he finds out you're one too."
"You're going to tell him!?" Aaneas asked, sounding rather panicked.
"I won't if you don't want me to," I said, coming out of my distracted haze enough to realize he was really worried and that my attitude about the whole thing probably wasn't helping. I patted him on the shoulder, and for the thousandth time silently apologized for being such a lousy guardian. But Aaneas seemed satisfied that his secret was safe and that the weird guy his uncle was friends with was harmless so he just turned and went back downstairs, presumably to continue doing whatever he had been doing earlier.
I sighed and went down the hall to the bathroom and wondered if I should just leave the clothes outside or go in. I decided to just leave the clothes and returned downstairs to see what I could do about ordering take away.
It was well after dark by the time Sirius emerged from the bathroom, and that was probably only because he'd used up all the hot water. Part of me realized that I should probably be annoyed but I really couldn't bring myself to care. I was probably still too dazed by the fact that he was here at all to be annoyed by just about anything.
Aaneas had come inside and was now reading one of the books I'd gotten him in Diagon Alley. I wonder if it's such a good idea, exposing him to the Wizarding world. My brother, being a Squib, had tried to integrate into the muggle world and from what I'd seen had been fairly successful. I wondered if Aaneas would be alright with all the magic that had suddenly come into his life, or if he'd grow up to be bitter about it like his father had been.
I sat down at the kitchen table, just staring at the boxes of Thai food I'd gotten for dinner. I hadn't realized it but I'd been on automatic since Sirius had show up. While he'd been in the shower I'd not only gotten food, but made up the spare room and cleaned the house a bit, not really thinking about any of it. Truthfully having Sirius here was making me nervous. And not just because if the Ministry found out I'd probably find myself in the cell next to Sirius in Azkaban.
It was wonderful to see him again, but there was so much that I didn't even feel comfortable thinking around Sirius. Like Azkaban, James and Lily, and especially Peter. I wondered if we'd end up sitting in uncomfortable silence for days and days, afraid to say anything in case it might stir up old memories that neither of us wanted to deal with. Or maybe it was just me who didn't want to deal with them, I'd spent the last fourteen years trying to forget everything that had happened to me between the ages of eleven and twenty-two.
I shook my head, trying to dispel ghosts of memory and focused on setting the table. I really shouldn't have worried about awkward silences during dinner. Sirius made enough clanks and bangs attempting to eat with the chopsticks that had come with the food, that there wasn't any silence to feel awkward about. And after he'd given up and used his fork I managed to venture a question about what he'd been doing since the beginning of June, which was the last time I had heard from Dumbledore about his whereabouts. And Sirius took the opportunity to talk, much to my surprise. Though I was slightly worried that he didn't take all that many opportunities to breath during his stories.
"And you should have seen some of the people Dumbledore had me get in touch with, Remus," Sirius said, pointing at me with a fork that had just been unburdened of the last of the noodles. He'd been starting ever one of his stories like that. 'You should have been there' or 'you would have love it, Remus' it made me happy and sad at the same time. Because a big part of me wished that I had been there. "Most of them I'd never met. He called them the Old Crowd, but I don't know what he meant by that, one of them didn't look much older than Harry. When he told me to contact people I though he meant people like Arthur Weasley and Moody, you know, people who were involved last time. Not blokes who should be committed to St. Mungo's and little old ladies with too many cats." Sirius sighed and ran his hands through his now clean and haphazardly cut hair before smiling slightly. "I did get to see Harry though. Apparently the lady with the cats knows Harry's relatives. I got to spend a whole day with him before coming here. He never ceases to amaze me. He's bloody brilliant…just like James…" Sirius trailed off, his face contorting into a grimace of pain, his eyes no longer seeing the table in front of him.
"Sirius?" I said, worried. But my voice seemed to snap him out of whatever memory he'd been seeing behind his eyes.
"What?" he said, looking around wildly as if he didn't quite know where he was. He blinked at me for a moment before coming back to himself. "Sorry, did you say something?"
"Um…no. It's late, maybe we should all get some sleep," I said, watching my old friend with worried eyes. Sirius nodded absently, his eyes glazing over again slightly until he shook himself back to reality, as if he were trying to shake water off of nonexistent fur.
Aaneas had already disappeared at some point, so quietly that I hadn't even realized he'd left. Ah, here was that awkward silence I had been worried about. I busied my self with gathering up the dishes, aware of Sirius staring at me the whole time.
"Well," I said, causing both of us to jump at my sudden intrusion into the silence. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Why don't I show you to the guestroom." He nodded and rose from his chair, still watching me.
I gave him the one knut tour as we made our way upstairs. There's the door to the basement, that's the living room, the library is through that door. We got to the top of the stairs and I pointed to the end of the hall.
"That's Aanei's room," I told him before turning to point at the guestroom. "And this is your room." He leaned forward to looked through the open door but didn't move to enter. He turned back to be, looking almost nervous.
"Where is your room?" he asked. He bit his bottom lip and stared at the floor, his brows knotted.
"That's my room," I said, pointing to the door that was nearly directly across the hall from the guestroom. I could visibly see some of the tension drain from Sirius' shoulders as he looked up from the floor to where I was pointing.
"So you're sleeping upstairs now?" he asked, a bemused look on his face, as if he didn't know quite what to make of a Remus that didn't sleep in the cellar. Or maybe he was just surprised he remembered that I'd ever slept in one at all.
"Yeah, I got tired of sleeping in basements," I had meant it as an offhand remark, but my tone betrayed a weariness that even a year of stable housing hadn't been able to erase. Too many nights in basements, and sheds, even a few muggle 'shelters' when I had been truly desperate. I sighed and gave Sirius a weak smile.
He stared at me for a long time, his brows knitted, not quite sure what to make of me. He closed his eyes and sighed before turning and walking into the guestroom without another word.
I let him go. I hadn't really wanted to go down that path either. The one that led to everything that had happened in the fourteen years that he had missed. Everything I'd had to go through alone.
I walked the few feet across the hall to my room. I didn't close the door, Sirius hadn't closed his either and I didn't want him to feel like he was intruding if for some reason he needed to speak to me before morning. I stood next to my bed for a long moment, just staring at the covers blankly. With a very weary sigh I fell face first onto my bed. I moved just enough to get my feet onto the bed, extract my wand from my shirt pocket and take off my belt, but only because both were poking me. I was half asleep when I realized I'd left the hall light on and it was shining quite annoyingly through my open doorway. I fumbled for my wand and waved it vaguely at the light bulb and was rewarded with the light going out with a crack. And with a final promise to myself to change the bulb in the morning I drifted off to sleep.
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