AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for reviewing!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own OMG!
Make My Dreams Come True"It's been a long time Keiichi." Peorth's voice was still warm and rich in timbre. It had never lost its childish inflection and subtle lilt. Like Belldandy's, her voice was the kind that someone almost immediately trusted. It held no anger or malice…but reflected an almost simple joy of living.
It had been a long time for sure.
"Wait…if you did not come for me…" Morgan's gaze flickered to Urd's equally puzzled countenance. "You would not come to Earth to apprehend your own…" Trailing off, she whispered dangerously, "Explain your purpose goddess. I would go so far as to consider my words extremely carefully."
If Peorth registered the implied threat in the Fairie's voice, it was to her credit that she showed no hostility or anger. Raising her hands up in appeasement, she shook her head. "Do not seek a threat when there is none Morgan. I have already said I did not wish to fight with you…and it would be very amiss if I ever wished to harm the beloved of Belldandy. Rather…" Her eyes narrowed cattishly, "I wonder why you are being so protective of him."
Morgan shot back, "And I wonder what business a goddess can have with a mortal when she has the chosen twelve Valkyries of Kami-sama by her side."
"It is really a matter of perspective Morgan. But my business is not with you." Turning around, she slowly extended her hand palm-up to Keiichi. "My condolences Morisato-san…for the passing of your wife. Rest assured, Heaven mourns with you."
Averting his eyes, Keiichi nevertheless placed his hand on her palm. "Thank you…"
"But you haven't answered our question." Stepping besides Morgan, Urd asked guiltily, "Are you here because of me?"
"Ah. No…" Letting her palm linger on Keiichi's fingertips, Peorth slid her hand back to her side and up to her hip as she replied. "There was a system failure at the time…from the energy discharge of course. In fact, according to the records, you've never left heaven."
Slumping slightly in relief, Urd whispered, "Thanks."
"I have no idea what you're talking about. To me you aren't even here." Flashing the goddess one last smile, Peorth motioned both the Fairie and the mortal to sit down by the living room table. "I beg your pardon for this untimely appearance but I believe the circumstances will far outweigh the inconvenience."
Interposing herself deliberately between Peorth and Keiichi in the seating arrangement around the table, Morgan protectively laid a hand on Keiichi's as she glared at the goddess. Noticing the resentful stare, Peorth soothingly reminded her, "Allow me to talk with Keiichi, Morgan. It is all I ask."
Squeezing Morgan's hand in reassurance, Keiichi asked, "What do you mean by that?"
"…How do I begin…?" Sighing, Peorth clasped her hands together and laid them on the table. "Keiichi, few mortals have had much significant impact on the workings of Heaven. There are a handful…but you're impact upon Heaven is of much debate. There are some that, quite frankly, loathe you. Both for daring to love an immortal and for that immortal being Belldandy."
"Heaven has changed little." Adding an edge of sarcasm, Morgan smirked, "It is of little consequence that Heaven was saved through his efforts after all. He is only a mortal." Her voice suddenly grew scathing, "They are damned fools. Every single one of them."
Peorth kept her voice and stare even as she bowed her head in acknowledgement. "As I have told Urd, Heaven is not perfect and it is far from unbiased. I do not dismiss your point Morgan. Your views are in a way, all too accurate." Her gaze shifted to Keiichi again, "But on the opposite side of the spectrum, you are admired by many as well. There is talk of allowing your soul to reside within the Elysian Fields after you're passing. That is the highest honor a mortal may receive from Heaven."
Keiichi laughed as he bitterly shook his head. "No…I received all I ever wanted from Heaven. That I lost it is my fault and my fault alone." His voice grew haunted, "Keep your titles to yourself. I could not accept them anyway."
About to vocally reprimand him, a sharp glance from Peorth cut Urd off as the white-haired goddess slowly shut her mouth. However, her mouth was still in a flat line of disapproval as she crossed her arms and shook here head. Allowing her voice to grow gentler, Peorth extended her hand on the table. "Kami-sama does not blame you…in fact, even your most bitter critics do not fault you for that. It is of little use crucifying yourself." Clearing her throat, she continued, "She loved you Keiichi. That is far more than enough. Anything else, we must leave to Fate and Destiny."
Something about that goddess' tone of voice kept Morgan's tongue in check. But the bitter irony was not lost on her. So now it was the fault of Fate that Belldandy died when all in Heaven knew she wouldn't. Or perhaps it was Destiny that she had to walk through the Gate of Judgment and lose everything.
Or perhaps, it was simply a tired, embittered Kami-sama shuffling the blame so his soul would remain pure. Kami-sama…after all…was perfect.
"Morisato-san…" For once, an uncertain whisper entered Peorth's normally confident voice as she stumbled over the right words to say. "I…I need to ask you this question before I can tell you my true purpose of coming here." Peorth sighed, "In fact, this is a very delicate situation…how do you feel about Heaven, Keiichi?"
"Eh?"
"That is none of your concern goddess!" Glowering at Peorth, Morgan replied angrily, "How else can you expect him to answer? It was your Kami-sama that took away his beloved even after they passed through the Gate. You…"
"It cannot be that bad Morgan…" Softly interrupting, but cutting through Morgan's tirade like a sharp knife, Keiichi repeated, "Belldandy loved it. It cannot be that bad."
"Eh…?"
Peorth's smile grew wider as she relaxed visibly.
"Why?" Eyes widening, Morgan gazed at Keiichi awestruck. "After…even after such pain…how can you say that? It…it wasn't your fault Belldandy died…it was Heaven's…and yet…"
"I fell in love with Belldandy as a woman." Keiichi's eyes grew sad. "Not as a goddess. In that respect, she died as my wife. Not as the daughter of Kami-sama. Even if I could not have crossed the gate with Belldandy I would have found a way to be with her. Because she would have done the same. Because I loved her…" He chuckled hoarsely. "I may not have been at fault…but I will not blame Heaven."
"Than…than what about me?" Jumping to her feet, Morgan glared at Keiichi furiously. "Was it my fault that I lost my beloved?"
"No."
"It wasn't Heaven's fault?"
"…No…"
Morgan's voice grew hysterical, "If it wasn't Heaven's fault than whose was it?"
"I…I don't know." Shaking his head, Keiichi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I…I don't know whose fault it is."
"I…Keiichi…" Fighting back her vicious retorts that bit at her tongue, Morgan struggled to keep her composure. "I admire you…far more than I have ever admired much in my life. That…that will not change. You are the kindest man I have ever known…and I have never met anyone like you." Her voice grew sharp as she wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. "But there is something called being too kind Keiichi. You may be ready to forgive Heaven…but I am not!"
Walking out the door, she snarled at Peorth, "And I will not forgive you, goddess!" Slamming the door behind her, the very walls seemed to quake in fear. Her footsteps quickly rattled off the metal as she ran down the stairs.
"M…Morgan!"
As Keiichi struggled to his feet to follow, Peorth quickly reached across the table and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. "Let her be Keiichi." She shook her head, "Some things in life cannot be changed. You can only force the moment so far before it bends back." Looking over at Urd, she asked gently, "Will you look over the Fairie, Urd? The Valkyries outside may not be evenly disposed towards her."
"In other words, you have something you want to say in private to Keiichi and you want me to leave."
"You might say that." Peorth grinned, "What? Do you expect me to deny it?"
"It is you after all." Smiling, Urd shrugged, "I understand…" Pausing, she addressed Keiichi directly, "…but Keiichi…Morgan has a point. Not everyone in Heaven is like Belldandy…and…yes, there is a thing called being too kind." Standing by the door, she shook her head. "I'm sorry for saying this…but I would not be as forgiving as you are. Even if Kami-sama is my Father."
The door closed and left the two inside alone.
Giving the door one last glance, Keiichi sighed and slumped against the table. Letting go of his sleeve, Peorth shook her head. "Don't be like that. Morgan does not hate you any more for what you have said. No one makes enemies by being kind."
"…Sure…it's easy to say that." Keiichi sighed. "I'm tired Peorth. The times with Belldandy went by so fast…everyday went by so fast and now it always feels like I'm waiting for time to start again. How did all these troubles come so fast? Was it just Belldandy? I…I don't know anymore."
"Morgan isn't Belldandy. You must realize that."
"I know that. I miss her so much sometimes. I miss her touch, her voice…I miss her smile. She was always so worried that her love wasn't enough…if anything, I should have told her that it was all I wanted. I didn't care about the world, her title, her goddess-hood…all I cared about was her."
"Belldandy would have gladly chosen the destruction of the world before she would see you unhappy Keiichi." Peorth smiled. "Contrary to what people think, she didn't have a heart big enough to love the world. She had a heart small enough to love just you and the world next. Belldandy wasn't always like that…in some ways you made her selfish. When she was younger, I would not have believed she could have ever possessed such a one-track devotion."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm saying Keiichi…that Belldandy was as spoiled and naive as goddesses come."
"That's impossible." Incredulous, Keiichi shook his head. "Belldandy was perfect…"
"EXACTLY!" Peorth exclaimed as she laughed. "EXACTLY! You can begin to understand then." Grinning, she steeped her hands on the table. "Perfection. Can you imagine what a luxury it must be to be that perfect? She was the pure-born FIRST daughter of Kami-sama! With a blood lineage like that, she was so pampered in the fields of Heaven that she forgot what reality was. Her license tells it all!"
"She was a first-class goddess…"
"Not exactly…" Sighing, Peorth motioned towards the triangle on her forehead. "For all words yes…but not precisely. Do not ever tell this to Urd, Morisato-san. This first-degree license I possess took a lifetime to attain. Urd doesn't realize what a sacrifice it is…the training, the commitment…it's more than granting wishes or having power: It's about wisdom, Keiichi. Just as Odin gave up his eye for wisdom in your mortal legends, I sacrificed a great deal for the wisdom in this seal.
"Urd and especially Belldandy don't understand that. Belldandy received her license almost at birth. Urd received hers in one or two years. They could not possibly conceive that without blood-lineage, such a feat is unheard of in Heaven." Peorth placed a hand on her heart. "Even now, I do not know if I am deserving…but the title I hold is not just a number. It represents a part of my soul. An integral part of my being."
"And it wasn't to Belldandy?"
"Belldandy was willing to give up her first-degree license to stay on Earth with you, Keiichi. To me…that proves that she did not fully understand what she was so eager to give up." Peorth softened, "But it also proves to me that she has forever retained that innocence…that blissful ignorance that Heaven loved in her. And you…Morisato-san… were perhaps the only one who ever saw past that?"
"Eh?"
"No one ever really LOVED Belldandy. No one dared to. She was far too beautiful and idealized…too…perfect…to ever be loved. Heaven constrained her. It made her into a delicate statue that could not ever be tarnished. It fashioned her into an image that could only be gazed at from afar."
Keiichi grimaced as it hit him, "That's…that's wrong. It…it must have been hard for her. I never realized that…"
"You must have realized something Keiichi because you did what no one imagined could ever happen. You fell in love with the Belldandy that no one else saw. The one with cracks, flaws, hatred, fears…and deep inside her heart, an endless wellspring of love that was all for you. No one else. A love that dwarfed anything she possibly felt for anything else."
"What about Skuld? And Urd?"
"Skuld doesn't treat Belldandy like a sister…not like she treats Urd. And in some ways, Urd saw Belldandy as everyone else did. A figurine with a smile etched into her face that could not fall. A perfectly formed creature that loved all equally when the truth was... the truth was that Belldandy did not even know what love was."
"Belldandy! Are you serious…?"
"She loved the world Keiichi. She loved it as a child loved a beautiful pendulum swinging over her cradle. Be honest with me. How can you love something you don't even know? How can you fall in love with something that stares back at you with nothing but awe and hushed fear? She didn't understand WHY she loved. It came…too naturally for me to believe otherwise." Peorth's eyes grew soft as she regarded Keiichi as if seeing something new herself. "And that is why, I was not surprised at all that she fell so madly in love with you. Heaven was…but I was not."
"Why?" Puzzled Keiichi rubbed his head, "I'm just a mortal…"
"A mortal who loved a goddess like a man loves a woman. Not as a penitent human who worships his deity. That is what I mean when I said you were the first one to ever see something past that superficial exterior Heaven slapped on her." Peorth beamed. "Imagine how that feels like to Belldandy…imagine the impact that must have been. Someone who was willing…no …not just willing…someone who WANTED to hold her without fear that she might break. Someone who expected nothing and loved her smile because it was her smile…not because it was the daughter of Kami-sama's. Someone who loved her…genuinely loved her because she loved him in return."
Peorth sighed. "Someone, Keiichi, who swept her off her feet and took her breath away in a completely mortal fashion. You were a tangible…a physical proof of love. More than words and impersonal gifts that said nothing and promised everything. You may think that you did not deserve Belldandy but from her perspective, she must've thought that the entire universe could easily fall in love with such an individual." Leering suggestively, Peorth whispered huskily, "I even came close to doing that."
Keiichi blushed, "Stop teasing me."
"Love does that Keiichi. It opened her eyes. It dazzled her senses and made you the center of her heart. I…I have never seen something quite like it. I have never seen Belldandy so happy and yet so insecure. She looked at you as if looking upon a dream. That if she truly dared to believe…that you would disappear."
"…But…but in the end…she was the one who disappeared."
"…Ultimately Keiichi…it is a fate we must all accept. But her love for you did not die. Of that I am certain." Peorth laid a hand on his. "You loved Belldandy…that is all I need to know. And I believe, that is all Heaven needs to know."
"Heaven?"
"Precisely. You see Keiichi…if a human soul passes away…Heaven will pass judgment upon it. But that does not mean Heaven does not care for the living. Morisato-san…I do not know what this means to you, but you are the son of Kami-sama. Not through blood perhaps…but by soul. By the love Belldandy bestowed upon you. Even if Heaven falls and the universe forgets that…rest assured. I will not."
"…I wouldn't ask that much of you."
"But I would do so anyway. I am happy you have still retained that purity of soul. You are still the mortal Belldandy fell in love with." Peorth's countenance grew warm and glowing. "Although you wouldn't ask much of me…I will ask anyway."
"What?"
"Keiichi Morisato, will you allow the Valkyries of Kami-sama the honor…allow me the honor… of escorting you to Heaven?"
***
It was an oddly picturesque night. It would have been perfect if not for the turmoil in her heart and the Valkyrie standing by her on the rooftop. She was quiet though, and paid her little attention as she stood motionlessly against the moonlight sky. Morgan was thankful for that. She didn't have enough energy to argue.
But of course, few things in life lasted for even a moment.
Ignoring Morgan's cold silence, Urd grimaced as she alighted onto the tiled roof. "Why do immortals always feel the need to stand on extremely high places? Last time I checked, the ground was a perfectly good place to sit on."
Neither the Fairie nor the Valkyrie paid her any heed. Sighing, Urd motioned towards Morgan. "Come on. Lets go back down. The air is cold out tonight. You're not in any condition…"
"Leave me alone. I am not in the mood to be lectured."
"You're sick…"
"I have lived without your worry before!" Snapping angrily, Morgan slapped a palm against the roof. "What makes you think I need your guidance?" Unable to stop her rant, she snarled, "And less of all, I don't need your pity!"
"You need to stop doing that Morgan." Unperturbed by the Fairie's dark glance, Urd shrugged. "You have to stop pushing away the people who show concern for you. There may be little love lost between us, but I do not actively seek to cause you harm. Besides…it is not for your sake that I worry."
"Ah right. I almost forgot. Forgive me, it's for the mortal's sake isn't it? God forbid that the volatile Fairie cause him any more harm." Sniffling slightly, Morgan wiped the tears brimming in her eyes. "But it doesn't matter. Heaven will be there for him right? Belldandy will always be there for him right? So it doesn't matter at all."
"You're sending mixed messages Morgan. Are you angry with Keiichi for forgiving Heaven? Or are you angry that he doesn't hate it like you?"
"Is there a difference?"
"Probably not…" Grimacing at the ice-cold concrete of the tiles, Urd gingerly sat down, wincing at the cold bite against her thighs. "But it's the way Keiichi is. You can't fault him too much for that."
"…He's too naive…too naive when he shouldn't be. But…even though he thinks like that, my feelings won't change at all…I'm naïve like that too."
"What are your feelings anyway?"
"Why do you care? Shouldn't you be thankful that Keiichi is so fast to forgive you and your Heaven?"
"I earned his trust, Morgan. I'm honored that he considers me a confidant and a close friend, but in no way do I take it for granted." She let some acid enter her voice, "You see Morgan, I'm not like you. I am not so quick to prejudge or stereotype."
"Why would I expect you to do otherwise? It's not like you differ too much from any goddess I have ever crossed paths with."
"And what, pray tell Morgan, makes you that special or unique to allow you to make such an assessment?" Snapping her fingers in mock-surprise, Urd affected a sarcastic tone, "Why of course! Morgan lost her beloved and that gives her every reason to be a bitch to everyone. Why didn't that ever hit me before?"
"How dare you!" Finally roused to anger, Morgan glared at Urd as she snarled, "How dare you mock my pain?"
"Morgan…I don't know how to say this any other way. Grow up." Sighing, Urd continued, "You lost your beloved so long ago in the past. It's time to move on with your life. Look at the road you've been taking. Just look at it. You defied Heaven but in the end, you still banished yourself to the Gate of Judgment. And supposing, just supposing you did meet someone there…in the end, you'd just cause yourself more pain."
"…" Gritting her teeth, Morgan's hand convulsed into a fist. There was more truth than lies in those words. Far too much truth. But even if it was so, she didn't need to hear this from the pampered second-born of Kami-sama.
"And all your anger and hurt you're holding inside…that pain that you almost treasure… what has it done for you? It's slowly killing you…and it's forcing you to push aside the people that truly care for you."
"And…Urd…what people would that be?"
"Are you forcing yourself to be that blind or is it coming naturally? I'm talking about Morisato Keiichi-kun you blind, dense, moronic idiot." Incensed, Urd bit out coldly, "I'm talking about the mortal who deserves far more than your blaming him every time he doesn't agree with you. I'm saying that Keiichi doesn't need to have to feel guilty every time you force him to live up to your ridiculously high standards. It was not his fault that he couldn't make your dreams come true. It would be prudent of you to understand that."
"I admire him completely…"
"Than stop!" Interrupting her, Urd let her statement linger in the night sky. "Stop putting him on a pedestal. Accept him for who he is…I have. Even though he's never completely honest with me, and he refuses to let me play a more active role in his life, I'll still accept him for it. If he needs me, I'll be there. If he doesn't, then I'll trust him to make the better judgment. You should not have abandoned him back there Morgan. He's suffered enough pain. If you in any way care about him, you should help relieve his burden rather than add upon it."
"I didn't…" Morgan's voice began to grow smaller as she averted her eyes. "I just didn't understand…"
"Than if you had stayed by him you might have learned something. I always do. Heaven is not beautiful…but it is not as ugly as you perceive it to be. And you can't force people to see the world through your eyes. You can't expect it from them either."
"I am forcing nothing."
"Than why were you so quick to anger? Belldandy came from Heaven, Morgan. If Keiichi hates Heaven, it is the same as hating Belldandy. Did you honestly expect him to do that?"
"…"
"Belldandy loved Heaven, Morgan. She loved it almost as much as she loved Keiichi. And so in return, Keiichi learned to love Heaven as well. You can't make him see otherwise…not unless you force him to forget Belldandy." Sighing, Urd clasped her hands together. "You have to stop blaming Heaven. You have to stop forcing yourself to hate it. Your soul malaise is probably the product of your hatred. You lost your beloved…but it doesn't mean you have to use him as a shield."
"I'm not…" Cradling her head in her hands, Morgan whispered brokenly, "I didn't. All I wanted was to love him. That is not much to ask…he was only a mortal…and I was only a Fairie."
"You began hating Heaven after you lost him. All that pain you felt originally came from your love from him. Don't you see? You're making your beloved at fault. You're forgetting the reasons why you loved him. You're using his memory to fuel your hatred for Kami-sama. Love should never become hatred."
"It wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault for falling in love with me…"
"And it's not your fault for losing him. And it's not Heaven's fault either. It's something as close to Fate as I can possibly conceive." Urd slowly placed an arm on Morgan's shoulder. "You don't have to forgive Heaven, but you have to forgive yourself. You have to let his memory pass. It is the only way you can ever find peace within yourself."
"I don't want to forget him." A tear slid down her chin and fell. "I don't want to lose something that precious."
"A memory is a memory, Morgan. In due time, we must let them go. We must understand that they do not belong only to us. Live for yourself…for those you love. But don't live for a memory. You will find that you will die before the memory does. Your beloved would not wish to see you like that."
"I wouldn't know…" Morgan choked on her own voice. "I never saw him again. I could never ask him…"
"But you know what he would say. It was the unspoken bond between you. Your hatred cannot bring him back…and you do not want to hate Keiichi. You don't want to push him away from you. I have seen the way you look at him. I recognize it for I have seen the exact same look in Belldandy's eyes."
"But Keiichi isn't mine. I can wish that all I want but he doesn't belong to me." Holding back tears, Morgan asked, "Than what can I do? What is there left to do?"
"Learn to love again. Belldandy always told me that love is the wellspring of all life. Learn to love others…and Morgan…learn to love yourself again. Remember why your beloved was so precious to you. Never forget him…but stop hating Heaven…stop hating yourself through him."
"…"
"You can cry if you want to Morgan. But this time…" Closing her eyes, Urd cradled Morgan's head against her shoulder and whispered against her ear, "You don't have to cry alone. If you feel that a piece of you is dying, than take a part of me if it makes you feel better. I can't save you…I can't even change the way you look at life or make you see what you can't see. All I can do…even though I am a goddess…is to be here. All I really can do, beyond my power…beyond my title…is to be Urd."
It was like her song. Morgan saw the meaning of Urd's words in the song she sang to the dying sakura tree. To see the passing of something dear…and to mourn with her. Her heart ached. Her heart ached whether or not she hated Heaven or killed herself for losing her beloved. The tears that she cried must have come from her soul. She could feel it breaking and ripping itself apart.
This time, it wasn't the soul malaise. It was far worse. It made the world seem to clear…too bitterly clear. The fuzzy comforting blanket of sickness did not envelope her senses this time. Every bitter sob racked her lungs with a crystalline clarity that turned her heart into ice.
But the feeling of moisture landing on Morgan's cheek from above reminded her that the goddess was crying as well. It…it was ironic. That with all of Heaven's power, this was the best it could do. All it had was a white-haired goddess who was crying as hard as she was. It was nothing she expected…it didn't save her soul…or relieve her misery.
But it was infinitely more.
As she cried, someone else cried with her. As a part of her soul died, she knew it wasn't by herself. It was like a cool breeze and a haunting rhythm of lyrics she didn't understand or comprehend.
But somehow…somehow through it all, it moved her. It moved her to tears.
In the end, ultimately at the end…when power serves no purpose and title does even far less…that is all we can really do. It is a mortal emotion to hate…but there is no divinity in love. Life…even an immortal life…is too short to waste on hating yourself or hating what cannot be changed. There is no meaning of life that can explain everything. But by accepting that, there might be a small strand of happiness to live by. It may be small…
But it is the best we can hold onto for now.
Dear sister…my dearest sister…I am sorry I could not save you. And Keiichi…I am sorry I could not save your happiness.
I could do nothing but watch.
This is all I can do.
The Valkyrie slowly watched from the side…unnoticed. Taking off her helm, she bowed softly, turned away and jumped off the balcony of the roof.
***
"…The goddess wanted you to go with her to Heaven?" Slightly disbelieving, Morgan visibly slumped as she stared wide-eyed at him from her futon. "A…mortal?"
Nervously clasping his heads against each other, Keiichi nodded. "Yes."
"…Why…" Trailing off, Morgan smiled as realization dawned on her. "Of course. It has something to do with Belldandy…isn't it?"
"…Yes."
"Can you tell me why?" Morgan bowed her head, "If you cannot…I understand."
"Peorth didn't give me a reason. She just told me it was very important."
"Oh." Giving him a wane smile, Morgan's voice didn't reflect the gesture. "I…I understand. Forgive me for being presumptuous…it is not in my place."
"It's not like that Morgan."
"I know. I…I understand a bit clearer now…you don't have to explain it to me." Shaking her head, Morgan bit her lip. "It…it is for Belldandy that the goddess requested you to go with her. I…I cannot argue with that. It…it is only natural that you must go."
"But what about you?"
"That is not something that should concern you. I…I will be all right. This…this is for the best." Feeling her lip quivering, Morgan shook her head. "Urd was right. Going to Heaven may help you find some answers. Perhaps…" Getting to her feet, Morgan dizzily smiled. "I…I need to go out…and…"
"Don't."
"Eh?"
"Don't…don't go Morgan." Unable to meet her eyes, Keiichi whispered, "Please don't leave me right now."
Hesitating, Morgan slowly turned around and sat back down on her futon. "Keiichi…I do not know what to say. I…I know how much Belldandy means to you…but I don't want to see you leave. I may as well say it…for my sake…and my sake alone…I do not want you to go. I do not want you to leave me." Chuckling, Morgan forced herself to continue, "But I cannot be that selfish. In Heaven, you may find more about your beloved. There is no other alternative."
"But what about you?"
"That should not concern you. That…that is unimportant."
"Can I ask you to come to Heaven with me?"
"I'm sorry. I cannot say yes…I…I am not ready yet. I want to…I have been happy with you. But Belldandy is your beloved. One such as I does not belong in Heaven. Forgive me."
"I…I understand…"
Asking suddenly, Morgan placed a hand over her heart. "…Can I ask you to come back? Can you come back to me?"
Eyes widening, Keiichi stared wordlessly at her. "What?"
"Go to Heaven, Keiichi. Find your answers…but…" Reaching forward, she clasped his hand in hers. Holding it, she said almost desperately, "But promise me this. Promise me that you will come back…at least if to say good-bye. I…I waited at the Gate of Judgment for so long…but no one ever came. If…if you go…say good-bye to me. Let me know that you have found your happiness again."
"Morgan…"
"This…this is the only request I have for you. If you do not wish to return…if you stay at Heaven, I will understand. I will not fault you this time for your love of Belldandy. But come back at least once more so I can see for myself."
"I'm not going to stay at Heaven, Morgan. Why are you so worried?"
"Because I lost my beloved in Heaven. I lost him without being able to tell him so many things. I…I'm scared. I'm scared that the same thing might happen with you." She leaned forward and stared into his eyes. "So promise me. Promise me I can still see you once more before you go. That is all I want."
"Don't…don't say it like that. I don't belong in Heaven…I'll come back."
"Promise me. It is all I ask."
Belldandy had never asked this of him. Unlike Morgan, she let him live his life the way he wanted to. When questioned, she'd always reply that he had chosen her to be with him forever…and that was enough. She had never expected him to make her promises…and even though he knew she loved him…he had always felt guilty for not being able to reciprocate that. The promises he had remembered…she did not expect him to keep.
Belldandy was like that. She trusted him like no one had before. That…that was sometimes a difficult responsibility. Trust was a fine line after all. Once broken, it was not easily restrung.
And Morgan was not asking much. And just as badly as she had been relying on him, he had been leaning on her for emotional support as well. What Morgan had said was true… they were alike. They had fallen in love…and they had lost that love. There was cruel irony…but maybe…just maybe…
Together they might find something that had escaped them before.
Firmly taking her hands in his, Keiichi smiled warmly. "I promise."
"You will come back to me? You will say good-bye?"
"No…" Keiichi shook his head, "I'll come back and but I won't say good-bye."
Morgan looked at him briefly before her face softened and she placed a finger on his lips. "Do not make promises you cannot keep…if I see you again…even if it is for the last time, I will be happy."
"Will you?" Keiichi's smile waned as he spoke on her fingertip. "I wouldn't."
"…No…I might even cry…" Morgan slid her finger down his lips and caressed his cheek gently. "…but I would accept it…and I will be happy for your sake. If you find your happiness in Heaven…if you find your answers…then I will not hate you if you say good-bye."
"…"
"But…"
"Eh?"
"…if you come back…and you still wish for me to stay…" Leaning forward, Morgan kissed him softly on the cheek. "If you return to me…I will be waiting for you."
tbc