Come On Eileen

(apologies to Dexys Midnight Runners) (And I do not own Gundam!)

A peek into the twisted, twisted mind of one Trowa Barton. No plot, really, just a vid fic and a little imaginary lime.

Guide: Stuff between asterisks, like *this* means lyrics, which Trowa (or his backup singers) are singing. Okay, so here's the story.



The scene opened on a bright stage, one mic standing front and center, four in the back and to the right, in front of an orange curtain with green, red, and yellow stripes. Music started. Trowa, dressed in a black tuxedo, sauntered up to the microphone stand and tossed it from one hand to the other in preparation for the song. As always, he was calm and unaffected, no expression apparent on his face.

In direct contrast to the three pilots who entered behind him. Heero, Duo, and Wufei stood at the mics near the back of the stage. They were all wearing white tuxedos, but their expressions could not have been more different. Heero wore a look of resigned suffering and barely suppressed violence, Duo was of course smiling and prepared to milk his performance for all it was worth, and Wufei was furious. This was until the owner of the fourth, shorter microphone entered the stage. The circus lion, a white bow around his neck, padded up to the mic and ignored the shock of the pilots. Wufei, closest to the lion, edged away.

Trowa turned around and nodded at his back-up singers. The three pilots looked at him incredulously, but managed to sing on cue:

*(Come on Eileen!)

(Come on Eileen!)*

Trowa suddenly grabbed the mic with both hands and began to sing his heart out.

*Poor old Johnny Ray

Sounded sad upon the radio

He moved a million hearts in mono

Our mothers cried and sang along and who'd blame them?

Now you're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever

Go toora loora toora loo rye aye

And we can sing just like our fathers ....*

Quatre was pushed onto the stage. He almost stumbled in his high pink stiletto heels, caught himself, and looked around in confusion. The other pilots stared at his slinky pink dress, the pink barrettes in his blonde hair, and the pink gloves that stretched up to his elbows, but Trowa just continued to sing. The lion yawned.

*Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means?!)

At this moment, you mean everything

With you in that dress, my thoughts I confess*



Trowa hung his head and clenched his fist in shame.

*Verge on dirty ......

Ah, come on Eileen!

(Come on Eileen!)

(Come on Eileen!)*

Quatre looked at Trowa, then looked at the other pilots and the lion. Duo shrugged and nodded towards Trowa. Quatre decided crying would not solve anything at this particular juncture, and sat down. Duo put his hand over his mouth and hissed something at him, and Quatre blushed and chose a more lady-like position, his legs out to the side and one pink-gloved hand resting on his top leg. Duo whistled, and Quatre blushed more and thought that maybe crying was not such a bad idea. Trowa sang earnestly:

*These people round here wear beaten down eyes

Sunk in smoke dried faces

They're so resigned to what their fate is

But not us, no not us*

Trowa turned and held his hand out to Quatre, who clumsily stood up and accepted the offer. Trowa pulled him close and stared into his eyes.

*We are far too young and clever

Go toora loora toora loo rye aye

Eileen, I'll sing this tune forever*

Quatre's eyes widened in horror.

*Come on, Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)

Ah come on, let's take off everything*

Trowa slid the thin spaghetti strap off of Quatre's shoulder.

*That pretty pink dress .... Eileen (tell him yes)*

"Tell him no!" yelled Wufei, until the lion bit his leg. "I mean yes! Tell him yes, for the love of Nataku!"

*Ah, come on! Come on Eileen!!!

Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)

At this moment, you mean everything*

Quatre's expression softened and he sighed in Trowa's general direction. The music changed, and the back-up pilots snapped in time. The lion stomped on the floor. Trowa threw his arm out and spun Quatre to the other side of the stage so he could concentrate on singing:

*Come on, Eileen, taloora aye

Come on, Eileen, taloora aye*

Quatre stumbled and put his hand on his forehead. He once again looked at the other pilots for advice, they were more concerned with singing and fending off the lion.

*Come on, Eileen, taloora aye

Come on, Eileen, taloora aye

Come on, Eileen, taloora aye

Come on, Eileen, taloora aye

Go toora loora toora loo rye aye

Come on Eileen!*

Trowa fell to his knees, taking the microphone with him.

*Well, I swear (what he means)

At this moment, you mean everything*

"I am extremely confused right now," said Quatre.

*With you in that dress, my thoughts I confess

Verge on dirty ......

Ah, come on Eileen!*

Trowa hopped up and once again took Quatre in his arms.

*Come on, Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)

Ah come on, let's take off everything*

Off came one glove.

*That pretty pink dress .... Eileen (tell him yes)*

Wufei glanced nervously at the lion, who growled.

*Ah, come on! Come on Eileen!!!*

Off came the other glove.

*Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)

At this moment, you mean everything*

Off came the other shoulder strap.

*Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)

At this moment, you mean everything…*

The stage faded away, revealing the drab briefing room of Preventors. The music faded, too, and Wufei's voice took over.

"…so there's not much for the rest of you to do but just be alert. This is a delicate situation—Maxwell." Duo smiled sweetly in response to Wufei's pointed look. "Understood?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Yes, thank you."

Trowa nodded.

"Good. You leave in two hours. You might want to stop by the hangar early to refresh yourself with controls."

They filed out of the room, Duo probably heading off to the cafeteria for his second lunch, or to the offices to flirt with Sally. Trowa followed closely behind Quatre until they turned a corner and Wufei was out of earshot.

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know where you're going, but I'm going to the hangar." Quatre stopped and turned around to smile at him.

"No, I mean, where are we going on this mission?"

"Trowa!" Quatre was torn between shock and amusement. "Weren't you listening at all?"

"No." Trowa grabbed the edges of Quatre's jacket and pulled him closer. "I was thinking about something else." They kissed, and Quatre tried to back away, but Trowa slipped his hand under Quatre's jacket and around his back and held him there. He leaned down for another kiss, and Quatre gave in…

"Trowa? Are you even listening now?"

"Sure," said Trowa, breaking out of his fantasy. "So where are we going?"

The End