Dark Prospects

AngelicOne: Yes, yes, Bernard is up to his pointy ears in denial about Noel, but that's okay; we love his pointy ears. ^_^ Sorry, that was random.

Sanely Challenged: Three chapters in ONE day? Oh, my brain hurts. *_* Nice to know you like it though! ^_^

GriffinFox: Thanks. I am surprised someone cares about Noel… are you feeling all right? ^_^

Chapter 9: Twit

Father Time sighed. "You know, this is strictly against the rules. I could get in a lot of trouble if I agreed.

"Trouble? With Who? You're Father Time!" Scott questioned.

The legendary figure was stumped. "Well I don't really know. I've never broken a rule before…"

"Well there's a first time for everything." Bernard waved off Father Time's concerns impatiently. "Now will you save all the elves from being massacred or not?"

"You know, just because Noel isn't here doesn't mean you have to take up her role as the annoying twit that everyone dearly wants to strangle." Curtis reminded him.

"Twit? I know you're not calling me a twit, Number Two, because if you were calling me a twit you know I would—"

Curtis cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I really think we should get back to finding Noel now." He abruptly changed the subject, and Bernard momentarily forgot his threat.

"I really don't think this is a good idea. If the counsel of legendary figures ever found out—" Father Time began, but was promptly interrupted.

"What the counsel of legendary figures doesn't know won't hurt them." Bernard insisted. "And even if by some remote chance they did find out, I think they would understand, what with the impending doom and all."

When Father Time still didn't look convinced, Bernard forced his features into what he hoped resembled a patient smile and spoke calmly. "Look, the only ones that will ever know are the five of us. I'm not going to tell anyone. Curtis isn't going to tell anyone. I doubt Mr. And Mrs. Clause would bring it up at a meeting. No one will ever know, okay? Now can we please do this before some unnamed elf strangles someone?" He finished on a slightly more impatient note.

Father Time sighed again. He seemed to do that a lot. "All right. But it was your idea!" He said to Bernard.

The elf smirked. "Oh no it wasn't. I've got plausible deniability. The whole plan belongs to Curtis."

"You won't be saying that after it works." Curtis grumbled.

"Can we concentrate on Noel here?" Bernard demanded.

Carol smiled oddly at Bernard. "Who will go after her?"

The elf looked around suspiciously. "Oh no. Not me, you've got to be kidding."

Santa smirked. "You're the only one Bernard. Christmas is coming shortly and I'm needed here. And besides, aren't you always saying that Curtis doesn't do things right?"

"Yeah," Curtis agreed. "I remember him saying something like that once or twice."

"Every three seconds." Carol added helpfully.

Bernard was sure that his face looked something like it had when he'd first seen Curtis' toy Santa last year. "Fine! I'll go all right? But Curtis, there's yet another hole in your scheme. The house, I know it's big, but I also know that you can't see a house from half way around the world. You just can't; I don't care how big it is. What do I do? Just teleport around the future at random until I see a big house?"

Curtis grinned. "Sounds good to me." At Scott's look he added hastily, "I mean, we had one of the elves look into it and he narrowed it down to only six locations. I'm sure you can handle just six Bernard."

"I'm sure you could close your mouth now if you tried really hard, Curtis." The Head Elf retorted. He turned to Santa. "So I just go to each of these six places? Sounds simple enough."

"Not exactly." Interjected Father Time hesitantly. "You see, it's very difficult to teleport in a time you aren't meant to be in. It's only been attempted eleven times before (all of which I had nothing to do with, I might add) and only six of them survived."

"Okay, that complicates things a bit." Scott said quietly. "Number One, you know I would never ask you to do anything that could endanger your life."

Bernard shook his head. "No. If I don't go then no one will. And then what will happen to Noel?"