Dark Prospects

GriffinFox: For some reason it's really fun to write about an impatient Bernard… I can't imagine why.

Random Reviewer: I don't know why you would be reading this after your review, but if you are, here is my advice to you: Don't read this. If you already hate the plot, you won't end up liking it any more than you do now.

AngelicOne: Yes let's all gang up on Bernard! ^_^

Sanely Challenged: Yes, killing Bernard would make it slightly difficult to write a Bernard/Noel fic (not to mention I'd be strangled by a mob of screaming fans…), but you never know…

Criminally Insane: Let's play a game. Okay, I'll ask you a question and I want you to answer as honestly as you possibly can. All right. Who's still reviewing after I told them to go away?

Chapter 10: Giant Black Dogs That Will One-Day Rule the Earth… Maybe…

At Curtis' look Bernard hastily added, "Not like I care or anything. We need her to save Charlie…"

Curtis held up his hands defensively. "I'm not here to judge." He smirked cheekily.

"Well then Santa should fire you because that's the only thing you're any good at." The Head Elf shot back.

"Why are you snapping at us? It's not our fault Noel got kidnapped!" Curtis demanded.

Bernard glared. "Everything is your fault, Curtis. World hunger? That's your fault."

"Back to Noel." Scott once again interrupted the bickering elves. "Can we just send him into the future while I'm still younger than him?"

Father Time sighed. Was the man obsessed with sighing? "Very well." He said something in another language to an unprepared Bernard. There was a strange red light and he was gone.

Bernard landed hard on the ground. What had happened? He remembered something about Father Time and put together what must have happened. "That evil, sneaky—" Okay, perhaps it wasn't the best idea to curse a legendary figure out loud.

When his vision had somewhat focused, the elf looked around wearily. No wonder it had hurt when he fell; there where rocks for miles. And he was next to what he assumed was one of the locations. He looked up at a house so large it made the workshop seem almost small in comparison. How was he supposed to find Noel in there?

Bernard got up, but he was so dizzy he had to clutch onto the house for support. Apparently Father Time hadn't been kidding when he said it would be difficult to teleport here. He fell against the wall in exhaustion. He could hardly manage to stay conscious! How had Noel done managed to function moderately normally? She said she'd used some kind of dark spell, which he had not, so perhaps that made it easier. Or maybe she'd done this before…

He heard a clatter inside the house and jumped. There was barking. He sighed. Dogs, large ones by the sound of it, were noisily heading in what was unmistakably the direction of the door. Then he heard a woman yelling. Definitely not the right house.

The elf shook his head to clear his vision, and succeeded in making it considerably worse.

He closed his eyes for a while and when he opened them, two large, black dogs were about three feet from him. How had they gotten there without him noticing? He froze.

Thankfully for him, the woman came out behind the dogs. "Muffin! Cupcake!" She bellowed. "Get back here!"

The dogs looked as though they would dearly have loved to tear off Bernard's arms and legs, but reluctantly left. The elf was sure he'd never seen two things that looked less like a muffin and a cupcake.

The woman was sturdily built, with grayish-brown hair and pale eyes that were so light they didn't seem to have a color. Her eyebrows slanted up, giving her a permanently grim expression. She looked about forty and wore a concerned expression as she looked down at Bernard who hadn't moved from the ground. "I hope they didn't hurt you. They really are sweet once you get to know them… Who are you, by the way?"

"Bernard…" the elf said slowly, not looking up from the two dogs.

She laughed. "Well Bernard, why don't you come in? You look like you haven't eaten in days!"

Bernard was tempted to comment that he didn't look starved unless she was comparing him to herself, but decided against it. "I really can't at the moment, I'm rather busy—"

She waved her hand. "If you're so busy then what are you doing out here in the middle of nowhere?"

"I got lost?" It wouldn't do to let her know he was an elf and he'd come here to stop the son of his boss from kidnapping a girl that he needed to save said son of boss. That might be somewhat unbelievable. And confusing…

The woman gave him a doubtful look. "It's not often that I get a visitor." She said sadly.

"You have dogs." Bernard reminded her.

"Oh don't worry! They don't bite." She insisted.

The dogs' expressions did not put the elf's fears to rest.

"I… can't… I'm allergic to dogs." He lied unconvincingly.

She sighed. "Oh I know I'm a bit old fashion with real dogs and computers and such. I even have a DVD Player still! My mother passed it down to me… Kids nowadays… They only like the games on their—what are they called—R-Cubes? Something like that, and they have no patience for good old fashion MP3 Players and cell phones… but I'm babbling. Please come in for a few minutes."

With all the strength he could muster, Bernard concentrated on teleporting to one of the other locations.

Immediately he wished he hadn't.

After another crash landing on a cold, marble floor, the elf looked around him. "Hello Charlie."

A/N: Thanks to all the people with nice reviews!

And Happy Birthday to valanna! You're the best! ^_^