Dark Prospects

Tragedy Ann: Thanks! Yes well as Curtis isn't actually mine, I suppose you may borrow him… ^_^

AngelicOne: Yeah my friend and I were saying that a while ago. They'll be saying, "DVD? What was that, some kind of soup?" -_-

Sanely Challenged: Yes, please update! I love your fic! And I understand; the thought of being strangled by a group of Bernard fans doesn't sound appealing…

GriffinFox: Sorry about the cliffhanger. Couldn't help it. ^_^

Criminally Insane: Very good, Amanda! Go get the cookie!

Chapter 11: Jack

The man studied him for a moment and then laughed. "Hello Bernard. Couldn't stay away from her, could you?"

Bernard would have protested, but Charlie continued, "I have to say, I admire your persistence. You really want to see her? All right, I'll take you to her. Follow me." He turned on his heel and walked out of the room.

Bernard followed. He didn't trust Charlie nay more than those black, killer dogs, but there really wasn't any remote chance of him escaping form the other, finding Noel, and getting out alive.

The two walked down an agonizingly long hall in silence until they reached a small room with a stone door that seemed to take up an entire wall. Bernard did not like the look of it. Charlie placed his thumb on the door handle and it opened. The room was so dark he could hardly make out the figure of a pale girl standing in one corner.

"Noel?" He asked, but the darkness in the room was almost suffocating and his voice was lost in the air itself.

Charlie smiled. "Well, I hope the two of you are very… happy together." He shoved the elf into the room and shut the door with startling speed.

Just as the elf was about to curse horribly, the lights came on and he was able to see Noel.

She smiled brightly. "Oh, I'm so glad you're here!"

He stared. Was she on steroids? "Are you… feeling okay, Noel?"

She didn't seem concerned by the fact that she was in even worse condition than when they'd first met. Her eye was purple and swollen and her lip was bleeding. "I'm feeling great! I want you to know, you're my very best friend in the world!" She went on with sickening cheer. "What's your name again?"

"It was Bernard the last time I checked, but it might have changed…"

Noel frowned. "That's a long name. You need a new one. From now on, I shall call you Jack."

Bernard raised an eyebrow. "Right… Whatever, right now we need to get out of here." He surveyed the walls, looking for any sign of a crack or an unstable board. No such luck.

"Okay!" She agreed. The girl stumbled over to him shakily and ended up falling onto him and then giggling madly as he caught her awkwardly. "Oops! Sorry, Jack."

Bernard set her carefully down on the floor and fell to his knees next to her. "Noel, does anyone ever come in here?"

She smiled. "Well, there's Bob, the food guy, and Fishy, the water guy, and Turtle Hat, the guy with the yellow kitties…"

Bernard wasn't sure that the girl's information was entirely accurate, but she was the only living thing he could talk to, so she would have to do. "When do they come?" He asked patiently.

Noel suddenly burst into song. "Oh when the ants come marching in—"

"Noel!"

"Jack!"

Bernard sighed and tried a different approach. "Okay Noel, let's play a game."

"Ooh! I love games!" She declared.

"Good. Now let's just… pretend, that Bob, Fish, and Turtle are trying to kill us." Bernard said slowly.

"It's Fishy and Turtle Hat!"

"Whatever. Let's pretend that when they come in they're going to attack us, okay? What do we need to do?" Bernard forced himself to be patient with the delusional girl.

Her eyes became large. "We got to attack them first."

He nodded. "Very good. Now can you tell me when they come in, so we can attack them and win the game?"

Again, she started singing. "Three o'clock in the morning—"

"Wait! Noel, when do they come? You want to win, don't you?"

She nodded. "They all come at five o'clock. Five, five, five, five—"

He let her chirp on merrily and wondered what time it was. But, as if to prove that this day couldn't get any worse, he heard footsteps approaching and realized that this entire, painstaking process hadn't been necessary.

The door creaked open, but he didn't give whoever it was any time to say anything. He shoved the door all the way open, but just stared blankly at the man who'd opened it. He was short. Shorter that any elf he'd ever seen, and had a strange mustache, which seemed to spread all the way to his ears.

He momentarily forgot his plan of knocking the other unconscious and spoke. "Bob the food guy?"

The short man snickered. "Turtle Hat, the guy with the yellow kitties. And you are…?"

"Jack." Bernard supplied offhandedly. "I don't see any yellow cats."

The funny little man smiled. "I don't have any. The elf—" he cut himself off. "Well she imagines things."

"Why?" Bernard prompted.

Turtle Hat looked troubled. "Well, I'm not sure on the details, but Mr. Charlie gave her some kind of shot when she kept shouting at him. Ever since then, she's acted so weird…"

Great. Charlie had given her some kind of drug. How was he supposed to get her out of here now?

"Look, Turtle Hat? I really need you to let us out of here, okay?"

The man grinned. "Sure."

Bernard raised an eyebrow. "What? Just like that?"

Turtle Hat shrugged. "Why not? I don't really care for Charlie anyway…"

"Great, thanks." Bernard grabbed Noel's wrist and led her out of the room.

"Where are we going, Jack?" She said, with a melancholy expression.

Bernard winced at the name. "We're going to magical, far away place where it never rains and everyone lives in peace."

"Oh, okay."

Suddenly an alarm went off and the two froze.

Noel looked around as a loud beeping echoed off the walls. "I hear birds."

A/N: Okay, Noel is not insane. She's just drugged. She'll get over it and be somewhat normal again… maybe…