Chapter 3: An Unexpected Message

To everyone's relief Willow and Giles walked through Buffy's front door. They looked dirty and tired, but at least they were both in one piece. Buffy, Xander, Dawn, and Anya all jumped up from their seats.

"What happened to you guys? Dawn saw you both run out the front door," a frowning Buffy looked to Giles and then to Willow. Giles took his dusty glasses off and started cleaning them.

"It is a rather long story…" he avoided Buffy's glare and glanced at Willow, trying to size up whether he should tell it. Willow stepped in for him. She was so tired that her voice was devoid of all emotion,

"Proserpexa came here, but she looked like Tara. We followed her up to Kingman's bluff. She tried to trick us into bringing her fully into this world. Giles figured it out and we did a spell to lock her back into her dimension."

"I guess it's not that long a story," Giles put his glasses back on.

"Are you guys OK?" Dawn stepped forward and hugged them both one at a time. They both nodded that they were fine.  Giles was privately relieved to see that Dawn's hug brought a subtle spark of life back to Willow's eyes.

§

Willow headed up to bed and the rest of the group filed into the kitchen for some hot beverages. Giles gave them some more details of what happened on the bluff. Anya handed Giles a teabag,

"Yeah, Proserpexa was always really cagey, always trying to trick people and steal their powers. No one liked her, even in the demon world." Everyone stared at her. Xander shook his head,

"And you didn't think this was worth mentioning?"

Anya stiffened.

"Well I didn't know that Willow brought her partially into this reality, did I?"  Xander stared at her, as her face turned red with embarrassment. "God, Xander! You know, it's a good thing we didn't get married, since I'm constantly the source of your disappointment." she huffed and stalked out of the house, slamming the back door.

Buffy raised her eyebrows,

"And on that note…" Everyone left the kitchen and headed to their respective bedrooms and Xander headed home.

§

Giles slipped off his dusty trench coat and stretched out on the couch. He lay awake for a long time thinking about Willow. He thought of her silky copper hair and smiled to himself. As much as he knew that now was not the time or the place, he couldn't help but find joy in the realization that he loved her. He'd denied it for so long. Now that he admitted it to himself, he felt a comforting sense of peace. He drifted off to sleep still thinking about the softness of Willow's cheek against his palm.

§

The following morning, Giles sat on the bench in Buffy's yard and sipped on a cup of tea. He pondered what he was going to do now that he had finished what he came here to do. He had just started to rebuild his life back in England. But here…here was another world that was his. He didn't know if he had the strength to leave them all again.

He was startled out of his reverie as Willow sat down next to him.

"Where is everyone?" she asked.

"They went on a hunt…for donuts I believe," he smirked.

She stared out into the lawn, a look of serenity on her face. She looked like a different Willow than the one he had said goodnight to. What has changed, he wondered. As if she could read his thoughts, she began speaking,

"I spoke with Tara last night."

His glance sharpened.

"What do you mean?" he tried to keep the disbelief from his voice.

"When I was sleeping, my dream," she met his eyes, "Tara came to me. She had some important things to tell me. I know what you're thinking Giles, but I'm not delusional about this." He looked back into her eyes and saw Willow with a calm sense of purpose he'd never seen in her before.

"Alright then," he looked back into the yard at nothing in particular, "what did she say?"

"That you love me."

His heart stopped in his throat.

He sat in silence and waited for her to continue. His gaze was steadfast on the surprisingly fascinating lawn, but he could see her watching him out of the corner of his eye. Willow watched his Adam's apple move up and then down as he swallowed. She took a deep breath and continued.

"We can talk about that in a minute, but there's something else we need to talk about first."

"Yes?" he nearly sagged with relief.

"Tara came to me on a mission from the Powers That Be. This even sounds weird to me, but it's true. After she…died…she was called into service by the Powers. I'm not surprised, really. There was always something special about Tara…something wiser." Willow paused, letting Giles process this new information.

"Yes, she did have a special quality." He gave a wistful smile. "I'm not surprised either. But she was on a mission?" Willow let a moment pass, seemingly gathering her thoughts, and then began to explain.

"I was her first mission. She came to explain something very important to me, something that I think is very important for you to understand too." She looked into his eyes to make sure she has his attention. She did. He was riveted to hear what she had to say.

"I know the things I've done recently have been wrong. And I'm not just saying this to appease you or anyone else. I've been using magic for my own gain, and that allowed something sinister to enter my mind. After a while, I wasn't there anymore. I'm not sure what or who it was, but it wasn't me. You, if no one else, know the difference between black and white magic. The magic I was using, although it made me feel more powerful, took me away from myself."

Giles did know the difference. He barely escaped from that kind of power himself. He watched her quiet confidence as she continued to explain why Tara had come.

"Tara came to remind me of the reason I chose to stay in Sunnydale…because I wanted to fight evil, to help people. She explained how the magic is a part of me, the white magic. And she's right. I can feel in my bones how right she is."

"But Willow, you can't use magic…you can't control it."

"You're wrong Giles," she said as gently as she could. "Before, when I promised Tara that I wasn't going to use magic at all, I never noticed, but she didn't necessarily agree with me. She remained silent. She knew that I had to learn on my own how to find balance within myself.

"The reason I was having such a hard time was because I was denying an integral part of myself. It's not that I need to stop using magic, it's that I need to start using it to help people. I've been using it to help myself. And that's what needs to stop." She searched his eyes to gauge his level of understanding. He asked her a fair question,

"What makes you think that you can use the white without the black? How do you know you won't be tempted?" He wanted to believe her.

"I will be tempted Giles, I'm not going to lie to you. It's going to be hard. But I know now that I have an important role to play here. I was so devastated when Tara died. I convinced myself that my life didn't have any meaning at all without her. But that's the lie. And Tara came to me to tell me that." Giles sat in silence and thought hard about all the things Willow has said. He realized that his instinct was to trust in her, and his instinct had usually served him well.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" he desperately wanted to see her remain black-eye free. She took his hand in hers.

"Do you love me Giles?"

He looked over to her and was at a loss. He didn't know what the right thing to do was. He remained silent, but his quickened breath betrayed him. She squeezed his hand.

"Even though it wasn't part of her mission from the Powers, Tara had another message for me. She told me that we all love many people in our lives in many different ways. She told me that…" Willow blushed a little, which he found charming. "That it's OK, for…well, you know, for us to…" she trailed off.

"Is that what you want?" his voice was barely audible. He desperately feared her answer. She didn't answer for a long moment, but still held his hand. Then she summoned the courage to continue the conversation.

"Actually, I want more," she gently released his hand.

"More?" He fought his excited confusion and saw her blush.

"What I mean is…" she struggled to put her feelings to words. "This isn't an issue of whether I'm attracted to you Giles. I've always…" she trailed off and blushed even more, if that was possible. "It's that I've known you for six years…probably the most exciting 6 years of my life. And even after all this time, I don't really know anything about you."

He saw the truth of that. He'd always tried so hard to keep his personal life separate from his Watcher duties. Even though he wasn't a Watcher any more, he still kept up the wall. And now it seemed that Willow wanted in. And frankly, that terrified him.

"Well, my life's not all that interesting," he said lamely. Her brows rose. "Well not really."

"That's what I mean Giles. You never let me in. And I can't let myself…fall in love with someone who can't share themselves with me," she looked away at a random bush. She felt him stand up.

He crossed a piece of the small lawn and cleaned his glasses as he tried to think about what was happening. He knew that he couldn't let himself shut her out, but he wasn't so sure that he could let the wall fall. He turned back to Willow and his face softened at her amazingly beautiful face that was looking at him expectantly.

"I can try," he managed and walked over to her. "What would you like to know?"

"You could tell me about Bridget," Willow's swallow was the only betrayal to her calm face. For a moment he was alarmed, but then yielded. Life on the Hellmouth always brought him the unexpected.

"How do you know about Bridget?"

"Tara told me, last night. She said that Bridget is going to contact you and that you'll go to Boston to help her with something. And Tara also said that I'm supposed to go with you. She wasn't very clear on the details. I don't think she knew. She just said that I need to go with you because you're going to need my help…and because Bridget is going to help me learn to control my power."

Giles took a moment to deal with this new information, and decided to tell Willow everything…well, almost everything.

"Bridget is one of the witches of the coven that imbued me with their powers so that I could help you. The coven needed to unanimously decide to help me, and Bridget was the only one who was originally opposed."

"Oh," she looked a little taken aback. That wasn't the explanation she expected.

"Well, she relented, after a little convincing. After that, she participated in the transmigration of their powers, and I came directly here. But I can't see how she could be in Boston. I just left them yesterday, and as far I know she didn't have any plans to come to the states.  Tara must have been-" The ring of the telephone floating through the open kitchen door cut off Giles. He and Willow headed into the kitchen and Giles grabbed the phone on the fourth ring.

"Hallo?"

"Rupert, is that you?"

"Bridget…" he knew it was her even without her confirmation. There was a pause on the other end of the phone.

"How did you know it was me?" her voice was wary. He could hear traffic in the background static, as if she were calling from a payphone.

"The Powers That Be sent me a little message," he shook his head in disbelief of his circumstances. "Are you alright?"

"No, not even remotely. I need you and I need you now. How soon can you get on a plane to Boston?" her no-nonsense tone ruled the conversation.

"Well, let me check my calendar…um save the world, no that was yesterday…I guess it looks like I'm free," he smirked. He had heard Buffy say that once, and he'd gotten a good chuckle out of it then. Bridget however didn't find his humor amusing.

Willow watched as Giles' smile turned to a frown. His brows pulled together as he listened to the woman on the other end of the phone. Finally, he placed the handle into the cradle and took a deep breath.

"It looks like we're going to Boston," he declared.