Words Can Hurt You
*Severus Snape raised his wand to his temple then dipped it into the Penseive in front of him. Blurry visions danced in the waves his wand made on the unmarked surface. He leant forward so that his nose was millimetres from the Penseive. The office gave a sudden lurch, forcing Professor Snape headfirst into an ocean of his thoughts.
Professor Snape found himself on the Hogwarts train that he knew so well. He turned around and watched as he saw a seventeen year old being shoved by a group of four friends. "If I ever see you talk to Lily again I will hex you until tentacles grow out of you ears!" A tall boy with untidy hair yelled at Sevres's seventeen-year-old self. "It's not my fault that that Mudblood ran into me!" young Severus yelled back and immediately wished he hadn't because four wands were suddenly pointing at his face.
"James, Sirius, Remus, Peter put those wands down at once!" a girl with fiery red hair and brilliant green eyes called to the four boys. "But Lily he called you a Mudblood!" James called back. "I don't care what he called me, four wands against one is really unfair!" Lily said putting her hand on her hips. "Come on guys lets go". James muttered to his friends, they opened a compartment door and went in.
"Thanks but I could have handled them myself" Severus said with as much dignity as he could muster. "Don't be stupid Severus! Four against one aren't great odds!" Lily said laughing. "Why are you being so nice to me?" Severus asked "Didn't you hear what I called you?" "Of course I heard what you called me." Lily said "But it really doesn't bother me!" "What?" said Severus surprised "You heard me, I don't care about what anyone says to me. What can words do to hurt me?" Lily said with a smile.
"Sorry to break up the reunion you two, but I have some exciting news to tell you Lily" Professor McGonagall said, her eyes sparkling. "You, and James Potter have been named Head Boy and Head Girl for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year!" James, who had obviously been listening to the whole conversation burst out of the train compartment and started dancing in the corridor before grabbing Lily and hugging her tightly. Lily, who seemed to have forgotten about being so mad at James, hugged him back while thanking Professor McGonagall over and over. "Don't thank me! Thank all your fellow prefects for voting for you two!"
Severus was not surprised about the result of the Head Boy and Girl. He himself had voted for Lily, knew that everyone loved James and mentally kicked himself for thinking he had a chance of being Head Boy. Then suddenly Severus remembered that the Head Boy and Girl still used the prefect's bathrooms but shared living quarters.
Suddenly the train lurched forward and Professor Snape found himself in the potions dungeon almost alone except that his seventeen-year-old self was doing an extra credit assignment on an advanced potion that would take weeks to complete.
As the heavy dungeon door opened Severus looked up from his potion making. Lily Evans stumbled in, her arms filled with ingredients and books. Severus silently got up to help her and she looked up at him gratefully. Lily set her things on the table next to Severus and opened one of her books. After an awkward few minutes of silence Lily turned her head to face him. "What potion are you making?" she asked. "I am working on a very complex potion that will enable the drinker to become fifteen years younger." Severus said proudly. "Wow" said Lily "Who are you going to test that on? If you tested it you would only be two years old!" "Professor Dumbledore has volunteered to test the potion when it is ready to be taken." Said Severus as if the answer was obvious. Then, seeing the hurt look on Lily's face, Severus changed the subject. "So what are you doing down here?" Severus asked Lily. "Well since I became Head Girl all I've been doing is going to meetings, and I've fallen far behind in my potions homework. Professor Helton says that I am in danger of failing advanced potions." Lily said, looking embarrassed. Severus had no idea that Lily felt that way about her position as Head Girl. He couldn't felt but feel sorry for her.
"Severus?" Lily asked. "If it is not to much trouble do you think you could tutor me a few times a week so I can get up to standard in advanced potions?" "Only if you want to". Lily added quickly. She looked up at him with her beautiful green eyes that were silently pleading him and Severus found it impossible to say no to her. "Ok I'll do it". Lily looked astonished that he said yes. "Oh thank you so much Severus! I just know I will pass now that I have the best potions student in the school to tutor me!" Lily threw her arms around Sevres's neck and hugged him tightly. Severus was so surprised that gorgeous Lily was hugging him, he hugged her back. It felt so good to be in her arms.
When Severus and Lily finally parted, Lily was blushing. "I-I'm sorry I got a bit carried away with myself". She said, her face a brilliant shade of red. "It's alright". Said Severus. "I actually didn't mind you- I mean I don't care about- what." Severus stuttered, making him even more embarrassed. "I can't believe I almost told her I loved her". Severus thought, "As if she would ever love a guy like me".
"I think I should go". Severus said without looking at Lily. "No Severus, don't go!" Lily said grabbing his arm. "I think we need to talk". "Oh shit" thought Severus, "She knows how I feel about her". "I-I think you know how I feel about you". Lily said, her voice shaking. "How you feel about me?" Severus asked confused. "Yes" Lily said, "You didn't know that I liked you?" "You like me?" Severus asked, "Oh my gosh! I can't believe I told you that! You probably think I am the biggest git in the world and I will never- ." she was cut of by two lips landing on hers. Lily's mouth opened slowly as Severus caressed her tongue with his. Lily put her hands on Sevres's well-built chest and gently pushed away from him. "Does this mean you don't think I'm the biggest git in the world?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with happiness. Severus laughed, "No" he said, "It means I love you".
*As Professor Snape watched them from the corner of the dungeon, he was surprised to find that there were tears running down his face. Professor Snape couldn't remember the last time he had cried and, as he looked over to the happy couple he knew he would never be as happy as when he was seventeen. *
*When Professor Snape looked up again, he was under a large oak tree beside the edge of the lake outside of the castle. *
"Severus you know that I love you! Why do I get the feeling that you think I don't?" Lily asked her eyes confused and full of hurt. "I don't think you do Lily," Severus said quietly. "I think that you are in love with someone else even if you don't know it." "What are you talking about Severus?" Lily asked. "I'm talking about Potter Lily!" Severus said exasperated. "Every time I'm with you all you talk about is James Potter." Lily stared at him dumbstruck, "J-James is just a friend Severus! I-I could never. I mean I don't think I could ever." "I think you need to think about who you want to be with Lily. You and I both know that Potter is obsessed with you. I'm sure he would love to know how you feel about him. When you figure out your feelings then we'll talk." And with one last lingering kiss, Severus turned and walked away.
*Professor Snape watched as the student walked away, his eyes filled with rage. How could he have let her go! If he hadn't planted the idea of James in Lily's head maybe she would have ended up with Severus and not James Potter. *
*The scenery changed again and Professor Snape found himself in the prefect's bathroom with the swimming pool sized bathtub. *
Severus put on a green bathrobe after his long hot shower. It was 9:00 at night and since he was a prefect he could stay up as long as he wanted without getting a detention. Severus was just about to get changed when he heard a voice. "Severus? Are you in here?" "Lily is that you?" Severus called as a feeling of hope rushed over him. "Yes can you let me in? I need to talk to you." Severus rushed to the large portrait covering the entrance and swung it open. Lily was standing there in front of him wearing a scarlet robe, her hair framing her heart shaped face. Severus thought she had never looked so beautiful.
"Well are you just going to stand there or are you going to invite me in?" Lily said, laughing. Severus stood back and Lily entered the beautiful room. "I just had a shower too". Lily said even though it was obvious. "I find it so much more relaxing to have a long hot shower late at night when no one is around". "I feel the same way". Severus commented, even though his thoughts were not on late night showers. They were on Lily. "Severus I've missed you so much. I can't stand not being with you. I can't stop thinking about how good it feels to be in your arms". Lily put her arms around Sevres's waist and put her head on his chest. "I've missed you too Lily". Severus said stroking her hair. "I feel so safe with you Severus". Lily said looking up at him. "I know that you would protect me from this war that is going on even if I am. a muggle born". "Of course I would protect you Lily. I would rather die than let anyone harm you."
"I love you Severus". Lily said. "I love you too Lily". Severus said, pulling her into a passionate kiss. Lily reached under Sevres's robe and traced the outline of his muscular body. She pulled down his robes and Severus started kissing her neck. Suddenly Lily sat bolt upright. "What's wrong?" Severus asked, confused. "Is that what I think it is?" she asked, pointing at his forearm. Severus followed her gaze and saw that she was pointing at the Dark Mark that was eternally tattooed on his arm.
"Lily I can explain. It's not what it seems!" Severus said struggling to keep up with her as they ran through the halls. "Was our whole relationship a lie? Did you only go out with me to feed me to him?" Lily yelled back at him, her face streaked with tears. "Of course not Lily! Remember I said I would protect you! I didn't want to get it I swear! My father was the one- ." "Don't you dare lie to me you-you Death Eater!"
Lily had finally reached the Head Boy and Girls' living quarters. Severus looked up at the smiling portrait of Lily Evans and James Potter; their arms were draped around each other's shoulders. "Password?" asked the smiling faces. "Truth". Lily said looking pointedly at Severus as she said it. As the portrait swung open Severus grabbed Lily's arm, "Please Lily", he begged, "Hear me out. I didn't want to get the Dark Mark, My father made me. He said if I didn't get it, the Dark Lord would kill me." Lily looked up at him her face unforgiving and shrugged out of his grip. "I don't ever want to see you again." Lily stepped into the entrance and the portrait slammed shut. Severus was about to walk away when the portrait swung open again. Severus turned around with hope in his heart. But the face he met, was not Lily's, it was James Potters. "I don't know what you did to her". His face stony, "but I know all about you and Lily. If you have hurt her in anyway, I will kill you. The portrait slammed shut and Severus knew that the fire of his and Lily's love had burnt out forever.
*As the scenery changed again Professor Snape recalled that he had felt suicidal the night that Lily walked out of his life. *
*When Professor Snape realised when he was, he gasped. He was at Lily and James' house a few years after the incident in the prefect's bathroom. Lily and James were married and had a son, Harry Potter. *
Severus had come to warn Lily. The Dark Lord was coming for them. He had heard of a Prophecy foretelling the fall of his empire. If Severus didn't get to them in time, the Potter family would surely be murdered before the break of day.
"Lily! It's Severus! I know you don't want to see me but it is very important!" Severus called, his voice with a note of urgency. A woman stepped into the light. She was carrying a little boy in her arms. "What do you want Severus?" she asked, her face expressionless. "I have come to warn you Lily!" Severus said quickly. "The Dark Lord is coming for Harry! Your Secret Keeper has given him information as to where you live! You must leave your home now before it's too late!" "Why should I believe you?" Lily asked him. "Our Secret Keeper would rather die then give us up." "No Lily! Leave you house and all your things. Take Harry somewhere safe where no one can find him and don't tell anyone where you are!" Severus pleaded. "Go back to your master Severus, and don't come to my home ever again!" Lily said as she slammed the door closed.
Severus ran, he didn't know where he was going; he just wanted to get away from everything that was happening. After an hour Severus stopped. Why was he running away? Didn't he once tell Lily that he would rather die than let anyone harm her? Severus had to get back to that house.
Severus could see the Dark Mark hanging over the house. Fear gripped his heart as he heard the powerful voice of Lord Voldemort speak the words Severus was dreading. "Avada Kedavra" A flash of green light burst through the house, and there was a cry of pain that thundered through the town. Severus burst into the house, terrified of what he would find. Two bodies lay on the white carpet, stiff and unmoving. Lily and James Potter were dead.
Severus frantically looked around for the body of Harry and found that Harry was sitting, crying on the ground a few metres away. A cut, the shape of a lightning bolt was visible on his small forehead. Severus, after making sure that Harry was okay, knelt down beside Lily's body and cried until he felt sure he was going to die.
*Professor Snape pulled his head out of the Penseive. His eyes brimming with tears. He remembered his conversation with Lily on the train at the start of his seventh year. "What can words do to hurt me?" Lily had asked. Professor Snape raised his head, "What can words do Lily?" he said. "They can kill you".
*Severus Snape raised his wand to his temple then dipped it into the Penseive in front of him. Blurry visions danced in the waves his wand made on the unmarked surface. He leant forward so that his nose was millimetres from the Penseive. The office gave a sudden lurch, forcing Professor Snape headfirst into an ocean of his thoughts.
Professor Snape found himself on the Hogwarts train that he knew so well. He turned around and watched as he saw a seventeen year old being shoved by a group of four friends. "If I ever see you talk to Lily again I will hex you until tentacles grow out of you ears!" A tall boy with untidy hair yelled at Sevres's seventeen-year-old self. "It's not my fault that that Mudblood ran into me!" young Severus yelled back and immediately wished he hadn't because four wands were suddenly pointing at his face.
"James, Sirius, Remus, Peter put those wands down at once!" a girl with fiery red hair and brilliant green eyes called to the four boys. "But Lily he called you a Mudblood!" James called back. "I don't care what he called me, four wands against one is really unfair!" Lily said putting her hand on her hips. "Come on guys lets go". James muttered to his friends, they opened a compartment door and went in.
"Thanks but I could have handled them myself" Severus said with as much dignity as he could muster. "Don't be stupid Severus! Four against one aren't great odds!" Lily said laughing. "Why are you being so nice to me?" Severus asked "Didn't you hear what I called you?" "Of course I heard what you called me." Lily said "But it really doesn't bother me!" "What?" said Severus surprised "You heard me, I don't care about what anyone says to me. What can words do to hurt me?" Lily said with a smile.
"Sorry to break up the reunion you two, but I have some exciting news to tell you Lily" Professor McGonagall said, her eyes sparkling. "You, and James Potter have been named Head Boy and Head Girl for Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this year!" James, who had obviously been listening to the whole conversation burst out of the train compartment and started dancing in the corridor before grabbing Lily and hugging her tightly. Lily, who seemed to have forgotten about being so mad at James, hugged him back while thanking Professor McGonagall over and over. "Don't thank me! Thank all your fellow prefects for voting for you two!"
Severus was not surprised about the result of the Head Boy and Girl. He himself had voted for Lily, knew that everyone loved James and mentally kicked himself for thinking he had a chance of being Head Boy. Then suddenly Severus remembered that the Head Boy and Girl still used the prefect's bathrooms but shared living quarters.
Suddenly the train lurched forward and Professor Snape found himself in the potions dungeon almost alone except that his seventeen-year-old self was doing an extra credit assignment on an advanced potion that would take weeks to complete.
As the heavy dungeon door opened Severus looked up from his potion making. Lily Evans stumbled in, her arms filled with ingredients and books. Severus silently got up to help her and she looked up at him gratefully. Lily set her things on the table next to Severus and opened one of her books. After an awkward few minutes of silence Lily turned her head to face him. "What potion are you making?" she asked. "I am working on a very complex potion that will enable the drinker to become fifteen years younger." Severus said proudly. "Wow" said Lily "Who are you going to test that on? If you tested it you would only be two years old!" "Professor Dumbledore has volunteered to test the potion when it is ready to be taken." Said Severus as if the answer was obvious. Then, seeing the hurt look on Lily's face, Severus changed the subject. "So what are you doing down here?" Severus asked Lily. "Well since I became Head Girl all I've been doing is going to meetings, and I've fallen far behind in my potions homework. Professor Helton says that I am in danger of failing advanced potions." Lily said, looking embarrassed. Severus had no idea that Lily felt that way about her position as Head Girl. He couldn't felt but feel sorry for her.
"Severus?" Lily asked. "If it is not to much trouble do you think you could tutor me a few times a week so I can get up to standard in advanced potions?" "Only if you want to". Lily added quickly. She looked up at him with her beautiful green eyes that were silently pleading him and Severus found it impossible to say no to her. "Ok I'll do it". Lily looked astonished that he said yes. "Oh thank you so much Severus! I just know I will pass now that I have the best potions student in the school to tutor me!" Lily threw her arms around Sevres's neck and hugged him tightly. Severus was so surprised that gorgeous Lily was hugging him, he hugged her back. It felt so good to be in her arms.
When Severus and Lily finally parted, Lily was blushing. "I-I'm sorry I got a bit carried away with myself". She said, her face a brilliant shade of red. "It's alright". Said Severus. "I actually didn't mind you- I mean I don't care about- what." Severus stuttered, making him even more embarrassed. "I can't believe I almost told her I loved her". Severus thought, "As if she would ever love a guy like me".
"I think I should go". Severus said without looking at Lily. "No Severus, don't go!" Lily said grabbing his arm. "I think we need to talk". "Oh shit" thought Severus, "She knows how I feel about her". "I-I think you know how I feel about you". Lily said, her voice shaking. "How you feel about me?" Severus asked confused. "Yes" Lily said, "You didn't know that I liked you?" "You like me?" Severus asked, "Oh my gosh! I can't believe I told you that! You probably think I am the biggest git in the world and I will never- ." she was cut of by two lips landing on hers. Lily's mouth opened slowly as Severus caressed her tongue with his. Lily put her hands on Sevres's well-built chest and gently pushed away from him. "Does this mean you don't think I'm the biggest git in the world?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with happiness. Severus laughed, "No" he said, "It means I love you".
*As Professor Snape watched them from the corner of the dungeon, he was surprised to find that there were tears running down his face. Professor Snape couldn't remember the last time he had cried and, as he looked over to the happy couple he knew he would never be as happy as when he was seventeen. *
*When Professor Snape looked up again, he was under a large oak tree beside the edge of the lake outside of the castle. *
"Severus you know that I love you! Why do I get the feeling that you think I don't?" Lily asked her eyes confused and full of hurt. "I don't think you do Lily," Severus said quietly. "I think that you are in love with someone else even if you don't know it." "What are you talking about Severus?" Lily asked. "I'm talking about Potter Lily!" Severus said exasperated. "Every time I'm with you all you talk about is James Potter." Lily stared at him dumbstruck, "J-James is just a friend Severus! I-I could never. I mean I don't think I could ever." "I think you need to think about who you want to be with Lily. You and I both know that Potter is obsessed with you. I'm sure he would love to know how you feel about him. When you figure out your feelings then we'll talk." And with one last lingering kiss, Severus turned and walked away.
*Professor Snape watched as the student walked away, his eyes filled with rage. How could he have let her go! If he hadn't planted the idea of James in Lily's head maybe she would have ended up with Severus and not James Potter. *
*The scenery changed again and Professor Snape found himself in the prefect's bathroom with the swimming pool sized bathtub. *
Severus put on a green bathrobe after his long hot shower. It was 9:00 at night and since he was a prefect he could stay up as long as he wanted without getting a detention. Severus was just about to get changed when he heard a voice. "Severus? Are you in here?" "Lily is that you?" Severus called as a feeling of hope rushed over him. "Yes can you let me in? I need to talk to you." Severus rushed to the large portrait covering the entrance and swung it open. Lily was standing there in front of him wearing a scarlet robe, her hair framing her heart shaped face. Severus thought she had never looked so beautiful.
"Well are you just going to stand there or are you going to invite me in?" Lily said, laughing. Severus stood back and Lily entered the beautiful room. "I just had a shower too". Lily said even though it was obvious. "I find it so much more relaxing to have a long hot shower late at night when no one is around". "I feel the same way". Severus commented, even though his thoughts were not on late night showers. They were on Lily. "Severus I've missed you so much. I can't stand not being with you. I can't stop thinking about how good it feels to be in your arms". Lily put her arms around Sevres's waist and put her head on his chest. "I've missed you too Lily". Severus said stroking her hair. "I feel so safe with you Severus". Lily said looking up at him. "I know that you would protect me from this war that is going on even if I am. a muggle born". "Of course I would protect you Lily. I would rather die than let anyone harm you."
"I love you Severus". Lily said. "I love you too Lily". Severus said, pulling her into a passionate kiss. Lily reached under Sevres's robe and traced the outline of his muscular body. She pulled down his robes and Severus started kissing her neck. Suddenly Lily sat bolt upright. "What's wrong?" Severus asked, confused. "Is that what I think it is?" she asked, pointing at his forearm. Severus followed her gaze and saw that she was pointing at the Dark Mark that was eternally tattooed on his arm.
"Lily I can explain. It's not what it seems!" Severus said struggling to keep up with her as they ran through the halls. "Was our whole relationship a lie? Did you only go out with me to feed me to him?" Lily yelled back at him, her face streaked with tears. "Of course not Lily! Remember I said I would protect you! I didn't want to get it I swear! My father was the one- ." "Don't you dare lie to me you-you Death Eater!"
Lily had finally reached the Head Boy and Girls' living quarters. Severus looked up at the smiling portrait of Lily Evans and James Potter; their arms were draped around each other's shoulders. "Password?" asked the smiling faces. "Truth". Lily said looking pointedly at Severus as she said it. As the portrait swung open Severus grabbed Lily's arm, "Please Lily", he begged, "Hear me out. I didn't want to get the Dark Mark, My father made me. He said if I didn't get it, the Dark Lord would kill me." Lily looked up at him her face unforgiving and shrugged out of his grip. "I don't ever want to see you again." Lily stepped into the entrance and the portrait slammed shut. Severus was about to walk away when the portrait swung open again. Severus turned around with hope in his heart. But the face he met, was not Lily's, it was James Potters. "I don't know what you did to her". His face stony, "but I know all about you and Lily. If you have hurt her in anyway, I will kill you. The portrait slammed shut and Severus knew that the fire of his and Lily's love had burnt out forever.
*As the scenery changed again Professor Snape recalled that he had felt suicidal the night that Lily walked out of his life. *
*When Professor Snape realised when he was, he gasped. He was at Lily and James' house a few years after the incident in the prefect's bathroom. Lily and James were married and had a son, Harry Potter. *
Severus had come to warn Lily. The Dark Lord was coming for them. He had heard of a Prophecy foretelling the fall of his empire. If Severus didn't get to them in time, the Potter family would surely be murdered before the break of day.
"Lily! It's Severus! I know you don't want to see me but it is very important!" Severus called, his voice with a note of urgency. A woman stepped into the light. She was carrying a little boy in her arms. "What do you want Severus?" she asked, her face expressionless. "I have come to warn you Lily!" Severus said quickly. "The Dark Lord is coming for Harry! Your Secret Keeper has given him information as to where you live! You must leave your home now before it's too late!" "Why should I believe you?" Lily asked him. "Our Secret Keeper would rather die then give us up." "No Lily! Leave you house and all your things. Take Harry somewhere safe where no one can find him and don't tell anyone where you are!" Severus pleaded. "Go back to your master Severus, and don't come to my home ever again!" Lily said as she slammed the door closed.
Severus ran, he didn't know where he was going; he just wanted to get away from everything that was happening. After an hour Severus stopped. Why was he running away? Didn't he once tell Lily that he would rather die than let anyone harm her? Severus had to get back to that house.
Severus could see the Dark Mark hanging over the house. Fear gripped his heart as he heard the powerful voice of Lord Voldemort speak the words Severus was dreading. "Avada Kedavra" A flash of green light burst through the house, and there was a cry of pain that thundered through the town. Severus burst into the house, terrified of what he would find. Two bodies lay on the white carpet, stiff and unmoving. Lily and James Potter were dead.
Severus frantically looked around for the body of Harry and found that Harry was sitting, crying on the ground a few metres away. A cut, the shape of a lightning bolt was visible on his small forehead. Severus, after making sure that Harry was okay, knelt down beside Lily's body and cried until he felt sure he was going to die.
*Professor Snape pulled his head out of the Penseive. His eyes brimming with tears. He remembered his conversation with Lily on the train at the start of his seventh year. "What can words do to hurt me?" Lily had asked. Professor Snape raised his head, "What can words do Lily?" he said. "They can kill you".