Dark Prospects

GriffinFox: I love your idea of what to do with Kyle! Thanks for the review. The llamas and zebras were just for you, glad you liked them!

AngelicOne: Foreshadowing? Me? Why would you say that? That would be pretty bad if they survived so much evil just to die of an incurable head cold or something… foreshadowing…

Sanely Challenged: I don't think anyone normally sings heavy metal/country music. If they do that scares me beyond all reason. I can't wait to read your story! ^_^

solomonisevil: Yay! I'm very happy to be your favorite! And I agree, llamas rule!

Criminally Insane: I appreciate your concern, my friend, but if I gave you Kyle's address it would be just as bad as killing him and I'd feel guilty for getting you in jail. Sort of… No, I'm joking you know I love you. ^_^

Chapter 18: Names

Bernard could hear the weasels scratching at the door behind him. He wished—for the first time in his life he could think of—he had one hundred tons of acid to pour on the evil monsters. On second thought, there had been one other time he'd had this wish, but he'd been desperate then.

"Um… Charlie?" Noel tried weakly.

The boy turned to her. He was quite obviously under some time of drug, which partially explained why he was so demented in the future. Charlie's eyes were glazed over and he grinned at them. "Bernard!" He almost fell off the llama in laughter.

Bernard stared at him incredulously. "Why does everyone do that?"

"Do what?" asked Noel.

"Shout my name." Replied the Head Elf. "Always people are shouting my name to greet me. All my life. It's really annoying."

For the first time since they met, Noel laughed. Not in a cruel or mocking way, she just laughed. "Your name is very good for shouting. Like 'Noel' doesn't sound right. You wouldn't come up to me and go 'Noel!', would you?"

"Well, no. But that's because—"

"See? And you wouldn't go up to Santa and say, 'Santa Clause!', right?" Noel continued. "His name is too authoritative for that. And mine is too… delicate."

Bernard glared at her pointedly. "Great. You get a 'delicate' name, The Big Guy gets an 'authoritative' name, and I get a name that's good for shouting." He said dryly.

Noel smiled. "Well you wouldn't want to be named 'Noel', would you? Besides… I like your name."

Bernard had been about to retort when her last words caught him off guard. He blinked. She was staring up at him strangely again…

Charlie fell off his llama, drawing Bernard's attention back to the moment at hand. "We better get going." He said quickly. "That Curtis-reject will be back here in a minute."

Noel turned swiftly to Charlie. "Right. Charlie? Can you walk at all?"

Charlie scowled indignantly and picked himself up from the floor. "Yes I can! I'm going to call you—"

"It's Spork." Noel shook her head, confused. "I mean… Noel…"

Bernard smirked, but said nothing.

"Can you get us out of here?" Noel asked Bernard.

Bernard thought. "Not in this room. I need to concentrate hard to teleport three at once. The llama will distract me."

Noel stared. "And you think three hundred flesh-eating weasels will help you concentrate better? At least the llama isn't trying to kill you!"

They both turned as they heard what was unmistakably the Curtis-reject's voice. "Resistance is futile. The weasels are on MY side!"

"Probably not." Bernard agreed. Then a thought struck him. "I have an idea. But I may not come back alive."

"What?" Noel demanded worriedly. "You scare me when you say that! You've probably got some hair-brained scheme that—"

Bernard interrupted her tirade. "Probably. But I'm the one with an idea so that's what we'll do. I'm going to join forces with the weasels."

Noel said nothing. She just stared at him as though he'd grown an extra head.

"It's not as bad as it sounds." He insisted. "Elves have limited telepathic abilities. I can enter their minds and convince them to join us."

Noel finally found her voice. "You know you're going to die, right?"

Bernard shrugged. "If I can survive Muffin and Cupcake, I can certainly survive this."

Noel blinked.

"Dogs… I'll explain later." He promised hastily.

Noel kissed him on the cheek. "Return."

Bernard froze for a moment, but decided the growing weasel threat would have to come before Noel's odd behavior. It was probably just a side affect of the drugs anyway.

He opened the door gravely and walked out to the army of weasels.

A/N: Well our hero is in a terrible position right now… but he'll get out of it. If I'm in a good mood tomorrow, that is… *maniacal laughter*