Dark Prospects

solomonisevil: I've given a lot of thought to the matter of whether or not the weasels will eat Bernard… Want some words of comfort? Sorry, I don't have any. ^_^

AngelicOne: Thanks! Just for that review, I'll try not to kill off Bernard (not that I would have anyway, for my own personal safety).

Priestess of Anubis: *raises hands defensively* All right! No Bernard killing… yet…

GriffinFox: I would love to see those pictures! Can you email me with them or something? Please? I'm not above groveling. Oh, and you might want to get your wolves ready, just in case.

Sanely Challenged: I love your story! You should finish it and get it published! I would be first in line to buy it. ^_^ I like Jackie, you shouldn't take him out. The thralls are really creative too. And thanks for the review!

Criminally Insane: Sheesh! I'm updating, OK? If you really want to go to LotR again call Whitney over and we can go this Wednesday.

Chapter 19: End

The weasels didn't move, seeming surprised that Bernard would willingly leave the room. The Curtis-like figure, whom Bernard decided to call George, for lack of a proper name, glared.

"What do you think you're doing?" He demanded harshly. "You're supposed to be hiding in fear of your life!"

Bernard glared back icily. He spoke to George, while telepathically trying to convince the weasels that he was a friend. "I've had to deal with a crazed, old man who is bent on my destruction, traveling to the future, a strange woman with killer dogs, a possessed future Charlie, a drugged elf, being drugged and imagining vibrating sheep of death, going back to the present, only to come here and meet an army of flesh-eating weasels, and all because of you. Do you really think for two seconds that I'm going to hide in fear of my life when I could be out here trying to destroy you?" He said aloud in an unbelievably long, run-on sentence.

To the weasels, he said, If you join me, I'll feed you Curtis when this is over. There's enough of him to last you a while. You can have Angelpuff too. If you stay with this madman you'll all starve to death! I promise to give you all the food you could ever wish for. Of course he didn't mean this. If he fed them Curtis he would certainly be yelled at by Santa. But Angelpuff…

George blinked. "Well I'm really sorry, but I've joined this club on-line and to move up in ranks you have to kill off a type of elf."

Bernard would have blinked stupidly if he had been listening, but he was occupied with the head weasel. The weasel had just agreed to a temporary truce with him.

Bernard grinned and said, Attack him!

They obeyed immediately and turned on their former master.

"W-what are you doing?" George stared at the weasels in shock.

Bernard could hear the weasels snickering, which was a very odd experience that he did not care to repeat.

The wild weasels attacked George and Bernard went to get Noel. He opened the door to find her staring at Charlie who was sitting on the floor pointing at the llama and laughing hysterically. It was such good blackmail and there was Bernard without a camera!

She looked up when he entered. "You're alive!" She exclaimed.

Bernard said dryly. "Well what do you expect from a weasel-eating cat?"

She smiled happily. "Then let's go back!"

Bernard sighed. "Yes, I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Clause just can't wait to see Charlie." His voice was thick with sarcasm and, as if to prove his point, Charlie fell over in a dead faint.

Noel laughed, but then looked at Bernard suggestively. "Actually, what's the rush? They can wait a few hours." With that she stole his hat and dashed out the door past the weasels and up a long set of stairs.

Bernard ran after her, completely forgetting about Charlie. They ran for a while and when he caught up to her, they were in a large bedroom.

"You know," she said, "this is a lot bigger than any room at the workshop. And a lot less… crowded…"

Bernard hesitated. "We should leave… the weasels…"

Noel nodded. "Yes, but don't you want your hat back?"

Bernard smirked and closed the door behind him.

End

A/N: Well that's it except for the epilogue. I suck at writing love-scenes worse than I do at writing, so trust me you don't want me to continue. You'll just have to imagine the rest yourselves, sorry. I will try to post the epilogue today.