I do not own Discworld, I do not own l-space, I do not own the balls song
(samvimes does ), but I do own bob, the thief of fire and I know I've
screwed up the timeline a bit, okay so no flamers about that please.
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Back at the thieves guild:
"Phew, thanks for covering for me, Nick" said Bob from the window of the dormitory.
"Cover for you, huh, every one still thinks your in bed." Said his friend from the chair in the corner of the room.
"So, what did you get?"
"Not much really, just, The Case!"
"What, but that's impossible to steal, even, erm, thingy couldn't get that, that man Vimes has a nasty set of traps round the place."
Bob hopped down from the windowsill, his point of entrance, "I still got it."
"Cool, lets see it"
"Don't have it, left it on his desk back at the yard."
"Oh, so you don't have it then?"
"Not any more."
"Like you ever had it."
"Fine don't believe me, I was asleep here the whole time right?"
"Yeah sure, what was in it then?"
Bob hesitate here, not sure as whether to say, but pushed on by teenage bravado he said:
"Oh, not much really, couldn't see what all the fuss is about."
"Yeah, more like nothing, and no case either!"
"Just wait till I get in the newspaper, oh and inside," he said as he jumped onto his bed, "was his silver cigarette case, his razor, oh and a big stick with a knob on the end."
"Ha, so that's where he keeps it, lets go for a drink."
"Yeah sure, why not?"
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"Okay carrot, I want who done it, how they done it, and why they done it," said Vimes as he paced to and fro, he paused, pulled out a cigar and lit it.
"But no matter what, don't tell the patrician, we want this man as one of our own."
"Yes sir, but I didn't even see what he looked like, well apart from a blur."
"What about Angua?"
"She only saw him from behind sir, and he'd masked his smell with that essence of ankh stuff the merchants order out."
"Pretty pricey though isn't it?"
"Well, yes and no sir."
"Huh?"
" It is normally expensive, but a wagonload to Sto Lat arrived with a case to few, the merchant reported it, but thought the delivery company, or the one selling the stuff was ripping him off. Then, when the wagon got back here, we saw a thieves guild receipt underneath the cart, held with one of these new 'twin forked metal pointy thing used to clip paper together."
"What about the glove fibers that got caught on the tree?"
"Igor and Cheri did as many tests on as they could but only found out that they'd been near Dibbler's sausages, and that they were made of ramtop wool, and there's a dwarf working with dibbler now, who sells these, so no go there"
A dwarf wearing high heels ran into the corridor,
"Mister Vimes, I think you better look at this."
The commander and the captain followed Cherie Littlebottom down the stairs into the forensics department of Pseudopolis yard.
"Me and Igor found this new type of evidence, he's so excited he's forgetting to lisp!"
Vimes sat down on the bench, "so what's all this about Igor?"
"Thir, Cherie and I have come up with a new way off identifying criminals, put your finger on this ink pad sir"
Vimes doubtfully pressed his finger onto the inkpad, "Now onto this piece of paper pleathe."
Vimes pressed his finger onto the paper, then he wiped off the ink on a rag Cherie handed him.
"Would you mind explaining to me, what's going on?"
"It'th thimple thir, etherey person has a unique set of marks on his fingerth, I'm calling them finger markth."
"So we stop someone at a crime scene and take their finger marks?" said the confused commander.
"We don't need to sir, just hand me your badge."
Vimes passed his badge to Igor, who began dabbing a fine white powder onto it.
"Don't worry thir, brutheth off easily. Ah here we go."
He showed Vimes the badge next to the paper on which his inky finger mark lay.
"It's identical."
"Exactly thir."
"But he was wearing gloves."
"Ah yes sir , but if you'll pass me your case," said the dwarf, "Just as I thought, he took his gloves off to look in the case, now we just have to take finger marks of every body who's had touched the case recently, then the one that's left over is the thief."
"Brilliant." said the commander. ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________
DUN DUN DUN, will Bob be caught? Did he take his gloves off to open the case? Vote 2 find out (and I mite just randomly choose any way, so wahay)
**************************************************************************** ***********************************************
Back at the thieves guild:
"Phew, thanks for covering for me, Nick" said Bob from the window of the dormitory.
"Cover for you, huh, every one still thinks your in bed." Said his friend from the chair in the corner of the room.
"So, what did you get?"
"Not much really, just, The Case!"
"What, but that's impossible to steal, even, erm, thingy couldn't get that, that man Vimes has a nasty set of traps round the place."
Bob hopped down from the windowsill, his point of entrance, "I still got it."
"Cool, lets see it"
"Don't have it, left it on his desk back at the yard."
"Oh, so you don't have it then?"
"Not any more."
"Like you ever had it."
"Fine don't believe me, I was asleep here the whole time right?"
"Yeah sure, what was in it then?"
Bob hesitate here, not sure as whether to say, but pushed on by teenage bravado he said:
"Oh, not much really, couldn't see what all the fuss is about."
"Yeah, more like nothing, and no case either!"
"Just wait till I get in the newspaper, oh and inside," he said as he jumped onto his bed, "was his silver cigarette case, his razor, oh and a big stick with a knob on the end."
"Ha, so that's where he keeps it, lets go for a drink."
"Yeah sure, why not?"
**************************************************************************** **********************************************
"Okay carrot, I want who done it, how they done it, and why they done it," said Vimes as he paced to and fro, he paused, pulled out a cigar and lit it.
"But no matter what, don't tell the patrician, we want this man as one of our own."
"Yes sir, but I didn't even see what he looked like, well apart from a blur."
"What about Angua?"
"She only saw him from behind sir, and he'd masked his smell with that essence of ankh stuff the merchants order out."
"Pretty pricey though isn't it?"
"Well, yes and no sir."
"Huh?"
" It is normally expensive, but a wagonload to Sto Lat arrived with a case to few, the merchant reported it, but thought the delivery company, or the one selling the stuff was ripping him off. Then, when the wagon got back here, we saw a thieves guild receipt underneath the cart, held with one of these new 'twin forked metal pointy thing used to clip paper together."
"What about the glove fibers that got caught on the tree?"
"Igor and Cheri did as many tests on as they could but only found out that they'd been near Dibbler's sausages, and that they were made of ramtop wool, and there's a dwarf working with dibbler now, who sells these, so no go there"
A dwarf wearing high heels ran into the corridor,
"Mister Vimes, I think you better look at this."
The commander and the captain followed Cherie Littlebottom down the stairs into the forensics department of Pseudopolis yard.
"Me and Igor found this new type of evidence, he's so excited he's forgetting to lisp!"
Vimes sat down on the bench, "so what's all this about Igor?"
"Thir, Cherie and I have come up with a new way off identifying criminals, put your finger on this ink pad sir"
Vimes doubtfully pressed his finger onto the inkpad, "Now onto this piece of paper pleathe."
Vimes pressed his finger onto the paper, then he wiped off the ink on a rag Cherie handed him.
"Would you mind explaining to me, what's going on?"
"It'th thimple thir, etherey person has a unique set of marks on his fingerth, I'm calling them finger markth."
"So we stop someone at a crime scene and take their finger marks?" said the confused commander.
"We don't need to sir, just hand me your badge."
Vimes passed his badge to Igor, who began dabbing a fine white powder onto it.
"Don't worry thir, brutheth off easily. Ah here we go."
He showed Vimes the badge next to the paper on which his inky finger mark lay.
"It's identical."
"Exactly thir."
"But he was wearing gloves."
"Ah yes sir , but if you'll pass me your case," said the dwarf, "Just as I thought, he took his gloves off to look in the case, now we just have to take finger marks of every body who's had touched the case recently, then the one that's left over is the thief."
"Brilliant." said the commander. ____________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________
DUN DUN DUN, will Bob be caught? Did he take his gloves off to open the case? Vote 2 find out (and I mite just randomly choose any way, so wahay)