PART THREE
After tossing and turning, Archer finally gave up on sleeping. Once he had showered and dressed for duty he did not even attempt breakfast heading straight to his ready room.
At 0730 just before the shift began Phlox beckoned him via the com.
"Archer here."
"Captain," Phlox replied. "I am informing you Commander Tucker will not be on duty today."
Archer leaned forward in his chair and placed his palms flat on his desk. "I see."
"I would like to run some tests and verify he is in good physical health." Phlox continued. "I am quite certain, but I do not want to leave anything to chance."
"Yes, of course." The captain agreed.
Sensing the confusion in the captain's tone, Phlox inquired. "Is there something wrong, Captain?"
"Well, it's just that I thought Trip started his shift early." The captain explained. "I went by his quarters and he wasn't there. Or maybe he just didn't answer."
"You were correct the first time, Captain." Phlox replied. "He was not there."
Archer closed his eyes and let a long sigh escape. He knew now where Trip was. "He's with you."
"I'm sorry, Captain." Phlox's voice sounded sympathetic. "But it was understandable considering. Mr. Tucker was quite upset when he came from your quarters. To be honest I was not all that sure he really wanted to be in my presence at that moment either. But, he needed to be someplace where he felt solace."
"And that's sickbay." Archer smiled to himself. The strong father/son bond between Phlox and Sim had penetrated Trip's being as well. "And with you."
"He was not as angry when he fell asleep, Captain." Phlox broke the silence. "I believe if you attempted to see him earlier, you should try again."
"Thank you, Doc." Archer felt a tad bit of tension lessen. "I'll see you in a few. Archer out."
*****
"He is outside waiting." Phlox said.
Tucker was still wrapped up in a blanket and lying on the bed in the private room. Sim's room. Phlox had told him Archer was there to see him.
"I am going to allow him entrance." Phlox informed Trip. "Best you remember what we talked about before you fell asleep."
With that said the doctor turned and exited the room. Trip curled up tighter into a ball on his side, gathering the blankets closer under his chin. Yes, he remembered what Phlox and he had talked about. More visions and feelings came forward and Trip, with the doctor's help, sorted out and made sense of it all.
He blinked when he saw the blue uniform come into view. He swallowed and kept his eyes staring straight ahead.
"You asked me why I didn't let you die, because you were and Sim wasn't." Archer began in a low, strained voice. "He would have been in a few more days had he not submitted to the procedure. But then so would you have. To what purpose would his life have served?"
Trip shuddered as a chill ran through him. He would have to remember to ask the doctor if he had kept it that cold in the room when Sim was young.
"Cap'n," Trip whispered. "He understood. He did. I know that now. But..."
The captain bent down to try and capture Trip's gaze. "But what? Tell me."
"But it shouldn't have ever happened." Trip looked up at Jon now with eyes filled with an agony that only came from an injured soul. "He never should'a been created."
"I'm not going to go over the morality of his creation, Trip." Jon told him. "I've gone over it a thousand times and I still can only think of saving you. Selfish? Immoral? Probably. But I'll have to atone for that when the time comes."
"He was happy here." Trip said with a crooked smile that was somewhat forced. "He never wanted it to end. But he knew it had to. And he did it for Lizzie."
"Yes, he did." Jon enforced. "Trip, he was a part of you. But he wasn't you. He had experiences that made him a different person. And, yes, he did get us out of that polaric field. But I have no doubts in my mind that you could have done the same for Enterprise."
"And now I'm a part of him. Kinda, sorta." Trip shrugged.
"That's not a bad thing, Trip." Jon told him. "He was a good guy. And so are you."
"I didn't mean ta be such a sonuvabitch last night." Trip managed as he let out a ragged breath. "I was all confused and scared..."
"Shh," Jon hushed him as he placed his hand on Trip's forehead. "You were right. Everything you said was true. I could've handled the reprimand about Charles differently. My words were cruel. I think you got me back for that."
"Maybe that's part of it." Trip decided. "Why I was so angry. Ya used some pretty harsh words with Sim, too. They hurt even though they were the truth. I lashed out at ya to make ya hurt, too. Maybe I went too far."
"No." Jon shook his head. "Your words were no more severe than mine were on impact. An eye for an eye, for an eye."
Trip sat up, swinging his legs over the bed and gathering up the blanket on his lap. "Doc says he wants ta do a couple'a tests. Make sure, ya know?"
"That's the right thing to do." Archer nodded. "Just a precaution."
"Sure, I know."
"Well, I have a bridge to get to." Archer turned and moved to the door.
"Cap'n." Tucker called out sharper than he had intended. When Jon turned to face him Trip smiled. "Thanks."
He felt what his mama used to call a warm fuzzy when Jon smiled back at him. Trip stared at the door as Jon disappeared and Phlox entered. The doctor eyed Tucker curiously as he stood before him.
"He loves you very much." Phlox said. "Whatever decisions he makes regarding you, though, I believe he would make for any member of this crew. And, yes, he needed you to survive for this mission's sake. But he also needed you to survive for his sake. He has a most difficult task and a burden of your entire world. The man needs you as well as the captain."
Trip listened intently, his eyes brimming with tears. Phlox was right and he knew it. Maybe he just needed to accept and not question just like Sim had learned to. Trust. It was all about that really, wasn't it?
As Tucker let the tears fall he wrapped his arms around his torso. The doctor looked at him with sympathy.
"Denobulans, by nature, are not a touchy/feely species." Phlox said with a dance of his head from side to side. "But we do reserve those for special people. Spouses, parents...children."
Slowly moving forward Phlox opened his arms and took Tucker into a strong embrace. The commander let his head fall on the doctor's shoulder and continued to silently weep.
"Sometimes we tend to forget the soul needs to heal as much as the body." Phlox said.
Trip was not hysterical, just letting out the result of a multitude of emotions. As he regained his composure he stayed where he was.
"Doc?" Trip asked.
"Hmm?"
"Do ya think ya could sing me that little song?" Trip said trying to hold back his smile.
Phlox now broke the embrace and looked embarrassed. "That will be enough of that, Mr. Tucker. You get yourself up and showered and then we will start the testing."
Trip began to chuckle as Phlox made his way to the door. But before the doctor exited he turned around.
"Do you really remember that?" Phlox asked hesitantly.
Trip met the doctor's eyes and slowly nodded. "I do. He wanted ta ask ya ta sing it to him before the operation. But I guess he thought it was silly since he was a grown man. And the cap'n was there and all."
"I had no idea." Phlox shook his head thoughtfully.
"Would ya have?" Trip asked. "If ya'd known?"
The doctor looked up at him with regard. Then he smiled his Grinch-like grin and turned and left. Trip wondered about the odd turn of events surrounding Sim. He continued to touch their lives even after he was gone. But, then again, maybe he wasn't really gone after all.
Trip stood up and stretched thinking about all the people he had to thank for being alive, not in the least of which was Sim himself.
"I won't let ya down, buddy. You an' Lizzie. I promise."
THE END
After tossing and turning, Archer finally gave up on sleeping. Once he had showered and dressed for duty he did not even attempt breakfast heading straight to his ready room.
At 0730 just before the shift began Phlox beckoned him via the com.
"Archer here."
"Captain," Phlox replied. "I am informing you Commander Tucker will not be on duty today."
Archer leaned forward in his chair and placed his palms flat on his desk. "I see."
"I would like to run some tests and verify he is in good physical health." Phlox continued. "I am quite certain, but I do not want to leave anything to chance."
"Yes, of course." The captain agreed.
Sensing the confusion in the captain's tone, Phlox inquired. "Is there something wrong, Captain?"
"Well, it's just that I thought Trip started his shift early." The captain explained. "I went by his quarters and he wasn't there. Or maybe he just didn't answer."
"You were correct the first time, Captain." Phlox replied. "He was not there."
Archer closed his eyes and let a long sigh escape. He knew now where Trip was. "He's with you."
"I'm sorry, Captain." Phlox's voice sounded sympathetic. "But it was understandable considering. Mr. Tucker was quite upset when he came from your quarters. To be honest I was not all that sure he really wanted to be in my presence at that moment either. But, he needed to be someplace where he felt solace."
"And that's sickbay." Archer smiled to himself. The strong father/son bond between Phlox and Sim had penetrated Trip's being as well. "And with you."
"He was not as angry when he fell asleep, Captain." Phlox broke the silence. "I believe if you attempted to see him earlier, you should try again."
"Thank you, Doc." Archer felt a tad bit of tension lessen. "I'll see you in a few. Archer out."
*****
"He is outside waiting." Phlox said.
Tucker was still wrapped up in a blanket and lying on the bed in the private room. Sim's room. Phlox had told him Archer was there to see him.
"I am going to allow him entrance." Phlox informed Trip. "Best you remember what we talked about before you fell asleep."
With that said the doctor turned and exited the room. Trip curled up tighter into a ball on his side, gathering the blankets closer under his chin. Yes, he remembered what Phlox and he had talked about. More visions and feelings came forward and Trip, with the doctor's help, sorted out and made sense of it all.
He blinked when he saw the blue uniform come into view. He swallowed and kept his eyes staring straight ahead.
"You asked me why I didn't let you die, because you were and Sim wasn't." Archer began in a low, strained voice. "He would have been in a few more days had he not submitted to the procedure. But then so would you have. To what purpose would his life have served?"
Trip shuddered as a chill ran through him. He would have to remember to ask the doctor if he had kept it that cold in the room when Sim was young.
"Cap'n," Trip whispered. "He understood. He did. I know that now. But..."
The captain bent down to try and capture Trip's gaze. "But what? Tell me."
"But it shouldn't have ever happened." Trip looked up at Jon now with eyes filled with an agony that only came from an injured soul. "He never should'a been created."
"I'm not going to go over the morality of his creation, Trip." Jon told him. "I've gone over it a thousand times and I still can only think of saving you. Selfish? Immoral? Probably. But I'll have to atone for that when the time comes."
"He was happy here." Trip said with a crooked smile that was somewhat forced. "He never wanted it to end. But he knew it had to. And he did it for Lizzie."
"Yes, he did." Jon enforced. "Trip, he was a part of you. But he wasn't you. He had experiences that made him a different person. And, yes, he did get us out of that polaric field. But I have no doubts in my mind that you could have done the same for Enterprise."
"And now I'm a part of him. Kinda, sorta." Trip shrugged.
"That's not a bad thing, Trip." Jon told him. "He was a good guy. And so are you."
"I didn't mean ta be such a sonuvabitch last night." Trip managed as he let out a ragged breath. "I was all confused and scared..."
"Shh," Jon hushed him as he placed his hand on Trip's forehead. "You were right. Everything you said was true. I could've handled the reprimand about Charles differently. My words were cruel. I think you got me back for that."
"Maybe that's part of it." Trip decided. "Why I was so angry. Ya used some pretty harsh words with Sim, too. They hurt even though they were the truth. I lashed out at ya to make ya hurt, too. Maybe I went too far."
"No." Jon shook his head. "Your words were no more severe than mine were on impact. An eye for an eye, for an eye."
Trip sat up, swinging his legs over the bed and gathering up the blanket on his lap. "Doc says he wants ta do a couple'a tests. Make sure, ya know?"
"That's the right thing to do." Archer nodded. "Just a precaution."
"Sure, I know."
"Well, I have a bridge to get to." Archer turned and moved to the door.
"Cap'n." Tucker called out sharper than he had intended. When Jon turned to face him Trip smiled. "Thanks."
He felt what his mama used to call a warm fuzzy when Jon smiled back at him. Trip stared at the door as Jon disappeared and Phlox entered. The doctor eyed Tucker curiously as he stood before him.
"He loves you very much." Phlox said. "Whatever decisions he makes regarding you, though, I believe he would make for any member of this crew. And, yes, he needed you to survive for this mission's sake. But he also needed you to survive for his sake. He has a most difficult task and a burden of your entire world. The man needs you as well as the captain."
Trip listened intently, his eyes brimming with tears. Phlox was right and he knew it. Maybe he just needed to accept and not question just like Sim had learned to. Trust. It was all about that really, wasn't it?
As Tucker let the tears fall he wrapped his arms around his torso. The doctor looked at him with sympathy.
"Denobulans, by nature, are not a touchy/feely species." Phlox said with a dance of his head from side to side. "But we do reserve those for special people. Spouses, parents...children."
Slowly moving forward Phlox opened his arms and took Tucker into a strong embrace. The commander let his head fall on the doctor's shoulder and continued to silently weep.
"Sometimes we tend to forget the soul needs to heal as much as the body." Phlox said.
Trip was not hysterical, just letting out the result of a multitude of emotions. As he regained his composure he stayed where he was.
"Doc?" Trip asked.
"Hmm?"
"Do ya think ya could sing me that little song?" Trip said trying to hold back his smile.
Phlox now broke the embrace and looked embarrassed. "That will be enough of that, Mr. Tucker. You get yourself up and showered and then we will start the testing."
Trip began to chuckle as Phlox made his way to the door. But before the doctor exited he turned around.
"Do you really remember that?" Phlox asked hesitantly.
Trip met the doctor's eyes and slowly nodded. "I do. He wanted ta ask ya ta sing it to him before the operation. But I guess he thought it was silly since he was a grown man. And the cap'n was there and all."
"I had no idea." Phlox shook his head thoughtfully.
"Would ya have?" Trip asked. "If ya'd known?"
The doctor looked up at him with regard. Then he smiled his Grinch-like grin and turned and left. Trip wondered about the odd turn of events surrounding Sim. He continued to touch their lives even after he was gone. But, then again, maybe he wasn't really gone after all.
Trip stood up and stretched thinking about all the people he had to thank for being alive, not in the least of which was Sim himself.
"I won't let ya down, buddy. You an' Lizzie. I promise."
THE END