A/N: Yay! I have the list for all the Sages! I like to thank you all who submitted them to me!
Well, little lazy me, I won't be talking very much, but I have a couple of announcements.
First, I'm glad the story is going so well! It's kind of my little pet project. A release from my other story I MY ME, OH MY!
Second, this chapter has an article by SennenHimemiya! It was an honor that I'm able to include it in this story! Thank you so much, and people give a big round of applause to SennenHimemiya!
Third, Artemis Sakura Malikstruelove submitted a picture of Princess Melda (Malik as Zelda!) It was SOOO beautiful to see my twisted idea come to life. If you'd like to see it, E-mail me for it! FF.net doesn't allow me to post it here.
Lemme take the time to list the characters, as not be confused.
Link- Yami
Navi- Yugi
The Great Deku Tree- Pegasus (deceased)
Mido- Bakura (charred; couldn't resist mentioning this)
Deku Tree's Sprout- Croquet
Saria- Tea
Malon-Serenity
Palon- Panik
Zelda- Malik
Ganondorf- Seto Kaiba (minus the big nose! I forgot about that,
he still looks as Bishie as the day he was born or to say drawn)
Impa- Rishid
Ingo- Bandit Keith
The rest, all in due time my friends.
What to expect in this chapter: Find out more on the chicken mafia, the Gorons (Jorons), and how Yami obtains Epona!
To my Reviewers:
Kimmi23 – Yes this helps. I was had no idea how many sages and their names were. Thank you, that was VERY helpful!
The Great Priestess of Mykrul – My head spins with many answers, but uh, I'll get to when I can. I'm not good at action and I'm writing this as it comes, so in truth, I don't' know how things turn out in the next chapter. I have general ideas, but nothing tangible. Er, um, all I can say is wait till next time. I might make something up. Thanks for reviewing.
yami blue eyes white dragon – So that's what ybewd meant. Yes, I'm dense. I do go to college, even if I don't write or act like I do. I blame public schooling system. Feh, what are you going to do? Well, I'm glad and thankful that you're still reading this story, and I hope I don't make it too confusing for you.
SennenHimemiya – I put in the article! Yeppy! I'm very happy and grateful to use it! I was going to do something more special and funny with it, but I kind of ruined the scenario with my first scene. Yami was supposed to something first, but I screwed up and thought of something else. Hopefully it works out! Thank you SSOOOO much for letting me use it! I don't' go too much into Joron's in this chapter, I only introduce. I'll explain later!
dream shadow – New reviewer! Yay! Thank for thinking highly of this story. I know I've had errors, thanks for pointing that one out. When I say that it was a side story, I meant to say its an "out of the manga' season. I should explain more. Well they're premiering new episodes that weren't' published in the manga (comic) of YGO. Now the manga is publishing the Ancient Egypt arc, while the anime is on the 'Warriors' story. When I mean 'Death Duels' it means that it involve the loser dying and the winner living kind of stakes. I have yet to see anyone die in one, but the Japanese anime titled the duels as 'death duels'. Those include, Yami vs. Pandora (Arcana), the loser would get cut in half. Another is Yugi and Kaiba vs. the Mask of Light and Dark (Umbra and Lumis); the losers will plunge to their deaths. And lastly Yugi vs. Joey controlled by Malik. The winner receives the key to unlock his chains, the other will be dragged into the ocean and drown. I don't' know how the English explains this, but those are the stacks in Japanese. I haven't seen YGO in English for a loooong time, but I think they explained something about Shadow Realms or something like that. 4Kids didn't' skip a whole season. The first season your referring to is called "Shadow Game" series. It has nothing to do with what you see now, which is dubbed as the "YGO Duel Monsters" series. The first series, "Shadow Game" really sucked, and was different than what is shown now. It'd be confusing to the viewer if they premiered that first, plus it was unpopular. Very so, I don't' even like it, even if it has two of my fav. Voice actors. The show was cancelled, but I think since the manga was so great they gave it another shot, so "Duel Monsters" premiered and it was a big hit! Phew, hope that explains everything! Thanks for reviewing for so many chapters, I'm very happy!
Head of Kupo Corp – Score, another new reviewer! Hiya! I think partially why I gave Malik the role of Princess, was because I was writing his chapter in I MY ME, OH MY, my other fan fic. So yeah, I was thinking it was either him or Kaiba, and well Kaiba's my idol. Yes, Malik is indeed a hot one! He's so cute! His Yami self is the best and my second fav after Kaiba. Majora's Mask you say… well… um… thing is… I never played that one. (Link: BLASPMEY!) What? I couldn't afford an expansion pack at the time. Sorry but no Majora's Mask, but I will make this a long story, so don't' worry. Thanks for reviewing.
lilagyptian – I thought the word Jorons would give it away. Ah, well! Yes, I think the chicken Mafia has something to with the misfortune that I had in the game. (I whacked at them, and I paid the consequences.) I didn't get killed as much by the bosses, only Gannon and the chickens killed me… what punks… About the stories, yeah, I think only taking two humor stories are enough for me. I can't, no matter how much, write too much humor. Thanks and see ya! Keep writing your fics; give me a laugh, please?
Yuzini – A third new reviewer! Yes! I'll keep writing as fast as I can! Thanks for reviewing!
Erckie – another new reviewer! Cool! You love the fic, huh?
Great, that's what I aspire to, to make you laugh (at or with me)!
Thanks for reviewing!
Disclaimer: I own nada, I dont' even own the game...it got killed by my brother... I miss it so! I own nothing! Nada!
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Chapter 9: Chickens and Jorons!
"Ouch, my head!" Yami woke up, rubbing his head to ease the pain. He found himself on the shore of the river, having no clue as to how he arrived there.
"Pharaoh!"
"Wha…?" he slurred. "Who is it? Who dares to address me?"
"You don't remember anything do you?"
Yami scratched his nose, "I don't think I remember much actually"
"You can't say any intelligent words can you?"
"I'm pretty sure there were some intelligent words in that." Stated Yami.
"Oh shut up, Pharaoh!"
"Wow" Yami looked to the ground to find empty bottle scattered all over the place, "there's a lot of empty Milk bottles here."
"There's also a stolen horse here."
"What? How did that happen?" Yami stared at the horse that neighed in acknowledgment.
"Well I'll tell you, START FLASHBACK!"
Flashback.
Bakura: Okay so this is how it went.
Yami: What are you doing back here! I charred… er, um… someone left you for DEAD!
Bakura: I'll explain later, now it's storytime!
Yami: Cool, I've become a narrator.
Bakura: Be quiet! You can't be a narrator! There can only be on narrator in this flashback!
Yami: but I want to be him!
Bakura: You know, the REAL hero of time NEVER spoke!
Yami: Fine, point taken, I'll shut up, old windbag.
Okay, here we go, I, Bakura will explain! Pharaoh, you made
a trip to the local brewery a.k.a the Ranch/Farm.
There you meet with Kingo, although it would be much funnier if
it was Bingo, but I'll leave that to our divine storyteller's fault.
Turns out Kingo was none other than Bandith Keith, the one who had the
NERVE to entrap me with you in that cave, but I won't dwell in the past!
After a while, you got bored, and meet with Palon at some corner of the farm. He offered you some "refreshments" in return for Deku sticks. Which apparently you swiped from me earlier!
"Here you go, I robbed this from Bido earlier" Yami handed the Deku sticks to Palon, who cradled them like it was his mother's breast.
Not knowing what you were doing, you drank, and drank, and drank, till you got lactose intolerant. Don't ask me how you did.
However, though you drank the special brand, you got beyond drunk, and that's when you went on your drunken rage/ride.
First, you began playing your Millennium Ocarina, learned a new song, and then flipped off the owner's daughter and stole her horse. She was sad, or on something, either way it doesn't' matter.
"MWHAHAHA!" Yami cackled as he rode off on Epona, Serenity's beloved horse.
"Take the damn horse you [beep]. She was too sassy for me anyways, biatch!" spat Serenity as she madly shaking her fist and chugged down her milk.
That wasn't the end though, you came back to Yukori forest, and there you DEFILED me!
Screeching beyond the sound barrier, "AHHHH I'll never get this smell off of me! How DARE you relieve yourself on me!!!"
Tea/Saria was recuperating at the local hospital, which you set on fire.
She's still alive, but you traumatize her.
"Yami, Yami, Yami, Yami, Yami, Yami, don't' come near, Yami, Yami, Yami" and on and on went the crazy Tea.
Then, you found Kaiba's secret lair, but you didn't set that on fire, which you should HAVE!
"I wuv you Kaiba!" Yami slurred.
"What are you doing here, Yami?"
You left, after Kaiba threaten to cut up what makes a man, a man…. your duel cards.
After that, you fell in a river. Mother Nature beat your mad, drunken state.
End Flashback.
"That doesn't explain why you're here?"
Bakura sighed, "Yugi's at the race tracks today, I came here to kill you."
"Wait how do you know all this?"
"Hidden cameras…I MEAN divine knowledge!"
"Fair enough, for today, you'll be my Bavi!" proclaimed Yami.
"Pharaoh, I came to kill—BAVI!?!?!" Bakura's eyes widened.
"Yes! I have a horse!" Yami cheered and with no hesitation, went over and jumped on the horse, BUT his acrobatics skills weren't all that great and ended up landing on Bakura instead. "Go horse, on to victory! OH Right, I have to play a song for ya, I'll call it Bakura's Melody, since I'll name Epona, Bakura, naw Epona is a better name, but she'll have your namesake for her song."
He whips out the Ocarina and plays Bakura's Song.
"I loathe you Pharaoh…"
"Why do you say that?" sniffled Yami.
"Have you yet to notice, your not liked very much."
"No everyone LOVES Yami, isn't that right Yugi?"
"He's not here."
"Oh… foiled again, huh?"
"Pharaoh…" heavily sighed Bakura.
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"Listen up, up there is the village your supposed to head to. I'm just giving you a head start before I brutally kill you."
"I'm glad you're here to help me Bakura. It's like we're kindred spirits and--"
Before Yami could finish what he was saying, Epona came along and trampled over Bakura. Shaking it off, Yami continued on his way, leaving Bakura twitching at the bottom of the steps that lead up.
He climbed up those massive steps, huffing and puffing. "I'm only skin and bones after all, no build at ALL!"
Yami found himself looking up a huge sign that read 'Yakariko Village' (A/N: Kakariko). "What's up with all the Y's?" Yami asked to no one in particular.
At the very end of the village, Yami found a young woman crying. "Um," Yami asked, "Something wrong?"
"I couldn't pay of by debts! Oh woe is me!" the young woman wailed.
"What?" Yami, looking confused. Before he could anything more, many chickens dressed in black ninja costumes came swooping in, surrounding them. "Well, this is uncommon."
"Are you the one they call Yink?" one chicken asked.
"Um… no…" he shifted his eyes, "but there's a trampled man at the bottom of the gates that can be!"
"Move out!" one chicken ordered, sounding more military then anything.
As they left flying, actually walking and jumping since chickens can't fly, a piece of paper fell from one of their pockets. Yami went to pick it up, curious as if he was Curious George himself!
It read:
CHICKEN MAFIA GAINS POWER
What is worse than the Nazis? What is worse than Saddam Hussein?
What is worse than Al Qaida? What is worse than the Sea Monkeys? … The
Chicken Mafia.
The Chicken Mafia is starting to attack anyone who comes near a
member with a horse, thanks to that poor young man who brought the reddish-brown
colored mare last week. (By the way, he is doing well; his body cast should
come off in 2010 and he should be coming out of his coma any month now.)
Every day the Chicken Mafia gains over a thousand new members, it is estimated.
They've started putting chicks in brainwashing facilities to train them
for the Mafia Military, against humans.
The Chicken Mafia was established by the Lord General Chicken Highlord
Toede in 1751 in Chad as a secret way of protesting the human consumption
of chickens. Chickens started to run away from the butcher, then from the
farm, now it's rumored they have their own headquarters in the Canary Islands,
where they have started to educate the canaries about the "human axis of
evil". Now some of the main members of the Chicken Mafia are boycotting
any town that has a butcher. In that case, they mainly stick to their Canary
Islands.
Every member of the Chicken Mafia has a small device implanted in
their brain that lets them use telepathy between one another, since the
chicken language is hard to understand. The only language they are allowed
to use in their telepathy is a language used between the Manzana tribe
in the Amazon rainforest. The tribe leader, Tocino, is suing the Chicken
Mafia for its use of his tribe's language. He is expected to lose. We interviewed
him last week during court recess and he gave us a very angry, unprintable
reply.
We must fight this unspeakable horror before they take over the
world. One girl, Teme Tame (pronounced teh-may tah-may), of Guatemala,
is fighting the Chicken Mafia. Her father has a farm, and is taken many
high-ranked Chicken Mafia members. He holds them in small cages and plucks
off their feathers while Teme interrogates them for information, which
she takes weekly (in a 79-page report) to George W. Bush and Tony Blair)
for them to try and resist the Chickens. Her questions these days are mostly
about the whereabouts of the leader of the Chicken Mafia, Verminaard. Let's
all pray for Teme Tame so she can help us against the terror of the Chicken
Mafia.
Yami finished reading, then looked puzzled, who or what were those people? George Bush? Such nonsense!
"So that's what happened to that guy with the horse I betted on, Wink? Jink? Ah whatever, he made me lose my money, he deserved what was coming"
"Yugi!" he turned to find Yugi hovering over him.
"Hey, Yami, sorry I was gone, I was, um, helping the needy at…the… race… track… and who's more needy then myself." Yugi grinned.
"Such an angel, Aibou!"
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Later, after pillaging the village of all its valuables (and finding a nifty shield that fell on Yami), they made it to the gate that lead up to Death Mountain.
"Say, Yami where are you keeping all of your items. I don't see a sign of that new shield or all those valuables."
"Where all animated items that pop out of nowhere go" Yami walked up a small path that lead up to 'Death Mountain', "A bank."
"Halt, you may not go further!" a guard commanded, halting Yugi and Yami. "You may not enter, 'the pretty mountain of non-death'!
"I thought it was called 'Death Mountain'" Yugi asked, remembering clearly that it was.
"Seems this game is finally listening to my suggestion!" Yami proclaimed, as mentioned in a previous chapter his idea of pretty mountain instead of Death Mountain.
"Typo in the strategy guide" the guard answered, with Yugi moaning, dwelling on the fact that his strategy guide burned to a crisp.
"Are you sure?" Yami asked and then gasped, "It's false advertising!!"
"All right, All right, you discovered my plot" the guard said, "I wanted people to come if it's called 'pretty mountain of non-death' so I can act all high and mighty and tell them they may not pass. I just wanted to macho and—hey where did that your partner go?" he addressed Yugi.
"Yami!" Yugi yelled.
This being Yami we were talking about, he ignored the man's story and tried climbing over the fence. Successfully, he made it to the other side.
"Look Aibou, I'm so proud of myself."
"Hey, kid, your not allowed up there, you might die and… I'd be a hero if I rescued you!" the guard's eyes gleamed.
Yugi and Yami, however, were long gone. They were fast little suckers.
"Say, Yami, didn't' you mention that little things come rolling down."
"Geez, Aibou, you expect me to remember something so insignificant as oncoming death from a bunch of furry creatures named Jorons. I can't remember that fact that Malik wants to kill me."
Yugi stared at Yami is disbelief, he was be so contradicting with himself!
"AAAAaaaandddd Launch!!"
Both turned to see an oncoming ball of what would appear to be a normal boulder, but in fact a was an actual Joron..
"Might I recommend moving out of the way?" Yugi pointed out.
"I don't like that idea." Yami pouted.
"Just do it you fool! You'll be crushed otherwise"
Yami leaped out of the way. "I feel dirty now, thanks a lot Yugi, I avoided that!"
"What?!" Yugi angrily yelled, "You were going to be flattened!"
"Or so you say! You don't know that! It could have been a delicious coconut or something rolling down, coming towards me. In fact, I think I heard it said, 'eat me, eat me'!"
"Your logic makes no sense!!!"
"Areh?" the Joron approached them groggily.
"Right," Yugi spoke, "Forgot about those guys. Okay, Yami, kill him."
"No, you kill him!" Yami retorted back. "Use fairy dust or something!"
"You don't have to be stereotypical Yami!"
"You want to meet our leader don't you?" asked the Joron.
"Not particularly" stated Yami.
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And so unhappily, Yami and Yugi followed the directions that the Joron had instructed to them. Yami promptly pushed the guy down the hill before departing to Joron City. He went down happily, though.
Gleefully, Yami took this time that they walked up to annoy his Aibou "So we get to meet the big honcho, the big cheese, the man, the leader--"
"SHUT UP YAMI!!!!" Yugi yelled.
The ceiling began to rumble.
"AHHH a CAVE IN!!!"
"NO!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE??!?!"
"DIDN'T YOU READ THE SIGN!?!?"
"Naw, it's in a different language and I'll be called a bookworm if I did. Have to keep my pretty boy image." The happy Pharaoh responded.
"This would be a good time to run!" Yugi warned.
"There you go again Aibou, for once I'd like to the thinker, HEY why are you all running?" A piece of rumble fell on Yami's head, "Oh… I see… Well I KNOW when I'm not wanted!" he stormed out, going out another exit.
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Later.
"Our city is in ruins" one Joron sniffled.
"Don't worry, men, er, furry creatures, I Yami, the hero of time am here to save you and-- AIYEEEEeeeeeeeeee!!!!"
"You didn't have to push him down that hill you know." Yugi saw Yami tumbling down, cursing in Egyptian, English and Japanese!
"Man, the one time I'm put in charge of something everything goes wrong" the particular Joron moaned, "now I'm depressed. Why don't' people read the signs? Why do people break the signs! I mean I go out every morning to replace them cause somebody breaks them!!"
"There, There, Joey." Yugi flew to pat his buddy on the back. (Surprise, Surprise people Joey is Darunia! Joey + Darunia = Jarunia. Gorons are named after Joey, so thus Jorons!)
"Lord Jarunia, the hero of time is coming up back the hill."
Wheezing and Huffing Yami approached them again smiling, "Here, I'll cheer you up by playing a song!" he pulled out his Millennium Ocarina, " Here you are—ACK!"
"Was it necessary to push him down the hill again!" Yugi shot Joey eye daggers.
End Chapter 9
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Yes I end it here, I ran out of fuel or what I'd like to call sweet and savory caffeine.
Good? Not so good? Drop me a line by reviewing, pweety please! They help a lot!
By the way, I'm proud of those 44 reviews I have, *sniffle* I love you
guys!