Rafe lay awake in his bed that night, the clock on his end table reading 12:15 AM. Evelyn had fall asleep an hour before, giving him nothing to do but do but think. Like he normally did when he couldn't sleep, he thought about Danny. This time it wasn't about their friendship or about how much he missed him. This time it was about something Danny had said to him on the Florida beach that day. 'You left her with more then just memories.'
Could those words really have meant what Rafe was then starting to think they meant? Could Danny have known something so important all those years and kept it secret? However he'd himself had done the same thing to his friend, so maybe it was possible. Suddenly he knew what he had to do, and sat up straight in bed.
The jolt of the mattress woke Evelyn from her gentle slumber and she asked.
"What is it Rafe, did you have another of those nightmares?"
For years her husband's sleep had been haunted by vivid dreams of the Pearl Harbor attack and the painful goodbye he shared with Danny years ago on those rice paddies. Often he'd be forced awake shaking or in tears, with sweat pouring down his face. At times he would have to sit there in bed for hours before sleep would come claim him again. Evelyn had grown accustomed to it by then.
"Yeah," The man lied, he couldn't tell his wife the truth, especially if he wasn't certain what the truth was. "I think I'm gonna go for a walk baby. Go back to sleep." Rafe pulled on a pair of pants that were flying on the floor and slipped his feet into his shoes. Then he kissed Evelyn's forehead and left the house.
Ten minutes later Rosie was woken by banging one the front door. She yanked on a robe and stumbled down the stairs to see what was going on. Halfway to the door the yelling began to accompany the harsh pounding.
"Ro, I know you're in there open up!"
"Jesus Rafe, what has gotten into you? Do you know that time it is?" The women opened the wooden door but left the screen one latched between them.
"She's mine isn't she?" Was all the pilot had to inquire before Rosie looked like she was starting to melt.
She seemed to be standing a little shorter, with her shoulders not as broad or head as high. Pushing the screen door she stepped onto the porch and gestured too two rocking chairs.
"We can't talk inside, Rosalyn and my father are asleep."
Rafe nodded and sat down.
"This is fine."
"So you figured it out?"
"I had some help from Danny. How long did he know?"
"Almost as long as I did. Beth went with me to the doctor's office that day, she told Danny and their weddin'."
"Why didn't you ever tell me."
"I tried to once, but you told me you didn't wanna talk to me. It was at the time you thought I was sleepin' with Johnny."
"What about after that, when we worked things out?"
"What difference would it have made, would've it even mattered?"
"I wouldn't have enlisted for one." He replied.
Rosie shook her head.
"I didn't want you to give that up. All you ever wanted was to fly. I wasn't gonna let you miss out on that for me."
"We coulda been a family, hell I coulda joined the Army after the baby was born."
Rosie stared up at the stars, biting her bottom lip. In every imagined situation where she told Rafe about his daughter, it had never been that way. They were always laughing, walking on the beach or through the woods. Rosalyn would be running in front of them, then she'd turn and vault into her father's arms. In her visions it was constantly a happy, bright occasion, nothing like it was.
"If I had told you, you wouldn't have married your wife. Who am I to stand in the way of true love?"
"Are you sayin' we weren't in love?" Rafe rocked back in his chair and cracked his knuckles uncomfortably. A habit he'd been working on for years and hadn't done since he left Shelby. It just seemed that being around Rosie again made him revert back to a nervous teenager.
"Of course not…" Rosanna looked at his hands, trying to hold in a grin at the sight of the knot he got his fingers in. "I loved you Rafe, I loved you a lot, I had since I was five. But obviously you didn't feel the same way."
"What are you talking about Ro? You know I loved you, I told you all the time." He defended himself.
"Oh really? Well how many letter did you send me while you were away." Tears of a depressed frustration began to sting her dark eyes. "One, one measly letter not even that, it was a letter from Danny and you scribbled a message in the margin. 'Having fun here, you'd like it.' No I love you, no I miss you. Just that, still who can blame you, right? I was just Shelby's grease money whore. The girl that followed you around like an abused puppy. Why would you want a small town tomboy, when you could have an educated lady like Evelyn? Why would you want to be with me or my baby? I'm sorry Rafe… I can't do this." She hopped out of her chair and sprinted toward the door.
As she reached for the knob Rafe's hand came down on hers. She turned to see him close behind her, pressed into her back.
"Don't walk away from me Ro."
"I'm not you walked away from me." With tears in her eyes he twisted the knob and ran into the house, slamming the door behind her. She sunk to the floor, her back against the wall and quivering. Not hearing Rafe's footsteps on the wooden planks made her know he was still on the porch so she yelled through the door. "She thinks you're dead Rafe, and as far as we're concerned, you are."
As Rafe walked dumbfounded back to his car he felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach. In all the year the had passed he'd never really wondered how his leaving had effected her. Mostly her hadn't thought about how it effected him. The way he left things there was never an end to their relationship. There was no chance to finalize the feelings. Had he really loved her all those years before and it he had and it never really had finished, did he still love her. Lastly how would explain all of this to Evelyn, his wife had no idea there was a women like Rosie in his past. As far as she knew she was his first real love and he was certain she'd be upset when she finds out he has a daughter.
Could those words really have meant what Rafe was then starting to think they meant? Could Danny have known something so important all those years and kept it secret? However he'd himself had done the same thing to his friend, so maybe it was possible. Suddenly he knew what he had to do, and sat up straight in bed.
The jolt of the mattress woke Evelyn from her gentle slumber and she asked.
"What is it Rafe, did you have another of those nightmares?"
For years her husband's sleep had been haunted by vivid dreams of the Pearl Harbor attack and the painful goodbye he shared with Danny years ago on those rice paddies. Often he'd be forced awake shaking or in tears, with sweat pouring down his face. At times he would have to sit there in bed for hours before sleep would come claim him again. Evelyn had grown accustomed to it by then.
"Yeah," The man lied, he couldn't tell his wife the truth, especially if he wasn't certain what the truth was. "I think I'm gonna go for a walk baby. Go back to sleep." Rafe pulled on a pair of pants that were flying on the floor and slipped his feet into his shoes. Then he kissed Evelyn's forehead and left the house.
Ten minutes later Rosie was woken by banging one the front door. She yanked on a robe and stumbled down the stairs to see what was going on. Halfway to the door the yelling began to accompany the harsh pounding.
"Ro, I know you're in there open up!"
"Jesus Rafe, what has gotten into you? Do you know that time it is?" The women opened the wooden door but left the screen one latched between them.
"She's mine isn't she?" Was all the pilot had to inquire before Rosie looked like she was starting to melt.
She seemed to be standing a little shorter, with her shoulders not as broad or head as high. Pushing the screen door she stepped onto the porch and gestured too two rocking chairs.
"We can't talk inside, Rosalyn and my father are asleep."
Rafe nodded and sat down.
"This is fine."
"So you figured it out?"
"I had some help from Danny. How long did he know?"
"Almost as long as I did. Beth went with me to the doctor's office that day, she told Danny and their weddin'."
"Why didn't you ever tell me."
"I tried to once, but you told me you didn't wanna talk to me. It was at the time you thought I was sleepin' with Johnny."
"What about after that, when we worked things out?"
"What difference would it have made, would've it even mattered?"
"I wouldn't have enlisted for one." He replied.
Rosie shook her head.
"I didn't want you to give that up. All you ever wanted was to fly. I wasn't gonna let you miss out on that for me."
"We coulda been a family, hell I coulda joined the Army after the baby was born."
Rosie stared up at the stars, biting her bottom lip. In every imagined situation where she told Rafe about his daughter, it had never been that way. They were always laughing, walking on the beach or through the woods. Rosalyn would be running in front of them, then she'd turn and vault into her father's arms. In her visions it was constantly a happy, bright occasion, nothing like it was.
"If I had told you, you wouldn't have married your wife. Who am I to stand in the way of true love?"
"Are you sayin' we weren't in love?" Rafe rocked back in his chair and cracked his knuckles uncomfortably. A habit he'd been working on for years and hadn't done since he left Shelby. It just seemed that being around Rosie again made him revert back to a nervous teenager.
"Of course not…" Rosanna looked at his hands, trying to hold in a grin at the sight of the knot he got his fingers in. "I loved you Rafe, I loved you a lot, I had since I was five. But obviously you didn't feel the same way."
"What are you talking about Ro? You know I loved you, I told you all the time." He defended himself.
"Oh really? Well how many letter did you send me while you were away." Tears of a depressed frustration began to sting her dark eyes. "One, one measly letter not even that, it was a letter from Danny and you scribbled a message in the margin. 'Having fun here, you'd like it.' No I love you, no I miss you. Just that, still who can blame you, right? I was just Shelby's grease money whore. The girl that followed you around like an abused puppy. Why would you want a small town tomboy, when you could have an educated lady like Evelyn? Why would you want to be with me or my baby? I'm sorry Rafe… I can't do this." She hopped out of her chair and sprinted toward the door.
As she reached for the knob Rafe's hand came down on hers. She turned to see him close behind her, pressed into her back.
"Don't walk away from me Ro."
"I'm not you walked away from me." With tears in her eyes he twisted the knob and ran into the house, slamming the door behind her. She sunk to the floor, her back against the wall and quivering. Not hearing Rafe's footsteps on the wooden planks made her know he was still on the porch so she yelled through the door. "She thinks you're dead Rafe, and as far as we're concerned, you are."
As Rafe walked dumbfounded back to his car he felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach. In all the year the had passed he'd never really wondered how his leaving had effected her. Mostly her hadn't thought about how it effected him. The way he left things there was never an end to their relationship. There was no chance to finalize the feelings. Had he really loved her all those years before and it he had and it never really had finished, did he still love her. Lastly how would explain all of this to Evelyn, his wife had no idea there was a women like Rosie in his past. As far as she knew she was his first real love and he was certain she'd be upset when she finds out he has a daughter.