The Very Air She Breathes
Pushing stray strands of auburn from her eyes, Skye surveyed the dark room. It just didn't seem possible. Life was full of irony. Nothing was fair, she thought, sinking into the pew in the very front.
His voice sounded mildly surprised when she'd called. He'd be here any minute, and then she'd be forced to explain it all. Obviously she could've lied. It would have been so much easier then having to tell him the whole truth. These were her last few moments to back out. She could go anywhere in the world, no one would have to know. But it wasn't fair. Not that she'd ever been the moral type.
She was somewhere between overjoyed and devastated. For the first time she was not alone, But she'd never felt more alone in her life. Would he blame her? It was never meant to be anything more than a one-night stand to him. Would he except her?
Her mind was racing a million miles a minute. Was it guidence she seeked, here in the hospital chapel? She'd certainly never been the religious type. She didn't pray, that would fall under asking for help, which was something she'd always refused to do. Maybe she was just looking for some silence, some peace? There was nothing god could do for her now, she thought scornfully. It wasn't like god ever stepped in before on her behalf.
She shook her head in disgust, and got up to leave. She'd meet him outside. God was probably laughing at her from up there, that is if he even exsisted. Her life had, after all, been one long karmic joke. Her steely resolve faultered. The shock had finally warn away, leaving only fear and anger- at herself, and at god, at the forces that gave her what she wanted most, guarenteeing that she'd never be able to enjoy it.
Skye shook so hard she almost lost her balance. Tears streamed uninhibited from her deep amber eyes as she stood helpless against her own destiny. Choking back her tears, she whispered. "What do you want from me?" She honestly didn't know if she expected a response.
"What do you want from me!?" She said louder, looking around for any sign of acknowledgement. "What the hell do you want?!" She screamed. Somebody was going to hear her. "What did I do?! Why won't you just let me be happy?! Why can't I have...have one thing that makes me happy!?" She couldn't decide whether to scream or cry. Her mind wouldn't slow down and just let her think.
*"Ms. Quartermaine, I have your test results back. You're going to be a mother."*
Put her trembling hands over her stomach, trying to comfort the tiny being within her. She would never have the chance to know her. She'ds never watch it grown up, and she'd never hear her child say that she loved her. Fate worked that way.
* "I think you should know that, due to the injuries you've sustained, the child could be a serious risk to your health. The child could cause massive hemmoraging during delivery... I strongly advise you not to continue this pregancy, for your own health, Ms. Quartermaine."*
I wasn't an option. Abortion was simply not an option. She would have this baby, no matter what. And now she had to face her own mortality. And she had to face the father, and inform him that not only would he be a daddy, he'd be going solo. The baby would have a happy life with him, she thought bittersweetly. She'd never know the instability and frailty of her mother.
"Whatever my sins were, you leave her out of it. I don't know what I did to be cursed from birth, but that is my issue, and you can take it up with me in hell." She spat. She was so overwhelmed that the room was spinning and her heart was beating out of control. "It'll be over soon, and I won't have to feel pain or suffering. My life cannot disenigrate any more than it already has, so go ahead! Go ahead, do your worst!!!" She screams broke off and turned into sobs. She turned to leave the chapel, but her weak knees sent her tumbling to the floor.
She put her hand over her stomach, already so eager to protect the life she loved more than her own. Her tears made it impossible to see him. He didn't hesistate for a moment, dropping down beside her. Her reached out for her, pulling her head to his shoulders. She didn't need to see him, because only one man could soothe her soul with his very touch. Her pain cut him right down to his very soul. Hen smoothed her hair, and wiped the falling tears from her eyes.
She lost herself in his arms, needing the solace only he could bring. She clung to him so tightly, afraid to let go and afraid to face the truth.
"What is it? What's wrong?" He asked, bright blue eyes full of concern.
Weakly she pulled her head up, facing him with red-rimmed eyes. There were no words, no explainations she could find. Skye took his hand and placed it on her stomach gently, looking back up at him fearfully. He looked confused for a moment, and then his eyes widened in surprise, asking a question which she confirmed without words.
"I... I was told I could never....never concieve." She was having trouble speaking through her fear. "I...I'm not trying to trap you. I honestly thought that-."
"You're having my baby." He said quietly.
She nodded, keeping her eyes trained to the floor. "Jax, I have to tell you something." He gave her hir undivided attention. "I nwas in an accident when I was younger." She said nearly whispering, because her voice was threatening to give out. "The injuries have...ummmm....they've seriously complicated the pregnancy. Dr. Meadows told me to consider..." She could barely say the word. "Abortion as an option." She clung to her composure, just hoping to get it all out before she completely collapsed.
"Are you going to-." Jax asked, dreading the anwser.
She shook her head as definantly as she could. "No...No, I could never...I'm going to have this child no matter...no matter what it costs me."
"What? What does that mean?" He asked uncertainly, seeing the fear in her eyes.
She didn't want to say it. Saying it would make it real. But he desevered to know the whole truth right from the start, no matter how much it hurt her. "It means... That in all likeliness I won't survive the delivery." His hand was still on her stomach, and she his with hers. "Do you want her?" She asked solemnly.
~`~`~`~`~`~`~ (Jax's POV)
I can't help but smile, as I catch sight of the redhead out of the corner of my eye. She's breathtaking, with pale skin and fiery amber eyes. She's perfect. She's tiny image of her mother. She's Antoinette Sophia Jacks. She spins in circles on the grass, happy as a lark...exactly the way Skye would have wanted her to be.
*"Jax?"
"Hmmm?"
"Tell her every day that I love her, and remember that I love you."
"I love you too."*
And then her hand dropped down onto the bed, showing the ring that had just found it's home a few hours before Annie came into the world.
I look down at the angel statue, reading the words for the millionth time.
Skye Chandler-Quartermaine Jacks
Brave and Loving Mother and Wife
I know Annie isn't Skye, but three years later I know her mother still lives on in the very air she breathes.
Pushing stray strands of auburn from her eyes, Skye surveyed the dark room. It just didn't seem possible. Life was full of irony. Nothing was fair, she thought, sinking into the pew in the very front.
His voice sounded mildly surprised when she'd called. He'd be here any minute, and then she'd be forced to explain it all. Obviously she could've lied. It would have been so much easier then having to tell him the whole truth. These were her last few moments to back out. She could go anywhere in the world, no one would have to know. But it wasn't fair. Not that she'd ever been the moral type.
She was somewhere between overjoyed and devastated. For the first time she was not alone, But she'd never felt more alone in her life. Would he blame her? It was never meant to be anything more than a one-night stand to him. Would he except her?
Her mind was racing a million miles a minute. Was it guidence she seeked, here in the hospital chapel? She'd certainly never been the religious type. She didn't pray, that would fall under asking for help, which was something she'd always refused to do. Maybe she was just looking for some silence, some peace? There was nothing god could do for her now, she thought scornfully. It wasn't like god ever stepped in before on her behalf.
She shook her head in disgust, and got up to leave. She'd meet him outside. God was probably laughing at her from up there, that is if he even exsisted. Her life had, after all, been one long karmic joke. Her steely resolve faultered. The shock had finally warn away, leaving only fear and anger- at herself, and at god, at the forces that gave her what she wanted most, guarenteeing that she'd never be able to enjoy it.
Skye shook so hard she almost lost her balance. Tears streamed uninhibited from her deep amber eyes as she stood helpless against her own destiny. Choking back her tears, she whispered. "What do you want from me?" She honestly didn't know if she expected a response.
"What do you want from me!?" She said louder, looking around for any sign of acknowledgement. "What the hell do you want?!" She screamed. Somebody was going to hear her. "What did I do?! Why won't you just let me be happy?! Why can't I have...have one thing that makes me happy!?" She couldn't decide whether to scream or cry. Her mind wouldn't slow down and just let her think.
*"Ms. Quartermaine, I have your test results back. You're going to be a mother."*
Put her trembling hands over her stomach, trying to comfort the tiny being within her. She would never have the chance to know her. She'ds never watch it grown up, and she'd never hear her child say that she loved her. Fate worked that way.
* "I think you should know that, due to the injuries you've sustained, the child could be a serious risk to your health. The child could cause massive hemmoraging during delivery... I strongly advise you not to continue this pregancy, for your own health, Ms. Quartermaine."*
I wasn't an option. Abortion was simply not an option. She would have this baby, no matter what. And now she had to face her own mortality. And she had to face the father, and inform him that not only would he be a daddy, he'd be going solo. The baby would have a happy life with him, she thought bittersweetly. She'd never know the instability and frailty of her mother.
"Whatever my sins were, you leave her out of it. I don't know what I did to be cursed from birth, but that is my issue, and you can take it up with me in hell." She spat. She was so overwhelmed that the room was spinning and her heart was beating out of control. "It'll be over soon, and I won't have to feel pain or suffering. My life cannot disenigrate any more than it already has, so go ahead! Go ahead, do your worst!!!" She screams broke off and turned into sobs. She turned to leave the chapel, but her weak knees sent her tumbling to the floor.
She put her hand over her stomach, already so eager to protect the life she loved more than her own. Her tears made it impossible to see him. He didn't hesistate for a moment, dropping down beside her. Her reached out for her, pulling her head to his shoulders. She didn't need to see him, because only one man could soothe her soul with his very touch. Her pain cut him right down to his very soul. Hen smoothed her hair, and wiped the falling tears from her eyes.
She lost herself in his arms, needing the solace only he could bring. She clung to him so tightly, afraid to let go and afraid to face the truth.
"What is it? What's wrong?" He asked, bright blue eyes full of concern.
Weakly she pulled her head up, facing him with red-rimmed eyes. There were no words, no explainations she could find. Skye took his hand and placed it on her stomach gently, looking back up at him fearfully. He looked confused for a moment, and then his eyes widened in surprise, asking a question which she confirmed without words.
"I... I was told I could never....never concieve." She was having trouble speaking through her fear. "I...I'm not trying to trap you. I honestly thought that-."
"You're having my baby." He said quietly.
She nodded, keeping her eyes trained to the floor. "Jax, I have to tell you something." He gave her hir undivided attention. "I nwas in an accident when I was younger." She said nearly whispering, because her voice was threatening to give out. "The injuries have...ummmm....they've seriously complicated the pregnancy. Dr. Meadows told me to consider..." She could barely say the word. "Abortion as an option." She clung to her composure, just hoping to get it all out before she completely collapsed.
"Are you going to-." Jax asked, dreading the anwser.
She shook her head as definantly as she could. "No...No, I could never...I'm going to have this child no matter...no matter what it costs me."
"What? What does that mean?" He asked uncertainly, seeing the fear in her eyes.
She didn't want to say it. Saying it would make it real. But he desevered to know the whole truth right from the start, no matter how much it hurt her. "It means... That in all likeliness I won't survive the delivery." His hand was still on her stomach, and she his with hers. "Do you want her?" She asked solemnly.
~`~`~`~`~`~`~ (Jax's POV)
I can't help but smile, as I catch sight of the redhead out of the corner of my eye. She's breathtaking, with pale skin and fiery amber eyes. She's perfect. She's tiny image of her mother. She's Antoinette Sophia Jacks. She spins in circles on the grass, happy as a lark...exactly the way Skye would have wanted her to be.
*"Jax?"
"Hmmm?"
"Tell her every day that I love her, and remember that I love you."
"I love you too."*
And then her hand dropped down onto the bed, showing the ring that had just found it's home a few hours before Annie came into the world.
I look down at the angel statue, reading the words for the millionth time.
Skye Chandler-Quartermaine Jacks
Brave and Loving Mother and Wife
I know Annie isn't Skye, but three years later I know her mother still lives on in the very air she breathes.