Part Eleven of Reality TV

Hawkgirl slid out from beneath the covers, leaving John and all his manly Marine muscles sleeping soundly in her little nest.

She was happy. Unbelievably happy. She skipped her way down the hall to the kitchen. She sang as she fixed breakfast – John would be disappointed that she didn't scramble any eggs, but that was just disgusting.

He'd have to settle for Eggos.

She poured syrup into every little waffle square, turned, and froze. "Holy crap," she said. Then she got angry, and wished she had her mace. "You dare come here? After all you've done?"

Katar Hol, strapping in all his winged manliness stood staring at her, his arms held wide. "It's hard to say I'm sorry. It's hard to make the things I did undone—a lesson I've learned too well, for sure."

"Oh, give me a break," Shayera grumbled.

Katar took a step forward, tried to embrace her, Eggos and all. Shayera felt sticky syrup drip down her front, then the tickle of one of his feathers as he hugged her.

She was going to be really mad if his wings got stuck to the syrup and her chest. She opened her mouth to tell him what she thought of him, but he was already saying, "I'm trying to figure out just what to do. I'm going crazy without you."

"There's this little place called Arkham that might be interested in taking you in—" she began, but he interrupted her.

"You're all I ever wanted. You're all I ever needed. So tell me what to do now that I want you back." He took a deep breath, tried to pull away.

"Ouch!"

Ignoring Shayera's cry, he looked into her eyes, bumped beaks with her before she could jerk her head away. "Baby, I remember the way you used to look at me and say, 'promises never last forever.' I told you not to worry, I said everything would be all right. I didn't know then you were right. But I want you back, oh yeah. You're all I ever wanted, You're all I ever—"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Shayera sputtered, and finally managed to yank out of his embrace. "I'm all you ever wanted, I'm all you ever needed. I get it." She tossed the plate with its squished waffles into the sink, placed her hands on her hips, and faced him. "But let me tell you how it really is, Mr. Leave-Me-Here-Without-A-Word!" Her chest heaved with anger. "At first I was afraid, I was petrified, thinking I could never live without you by my side."

Katar took a step forward, "I'm sorry, my little chicken nugget—"

Shayera held up her hand, stopped him before he could hug or beak her again. "But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong, and I grew strong, I learned how to get along."

"But now I'm back—"

Putting her palm against his chest, so sexily criss-crossed with his yellow harness, she gave a little shove, and he stumbled backwards. "And now you're back from outer space, I just walked in to find you here with that look upon your face. The JL should have changed that stupid lock, we should have made you leave your key, if I'd known for one second you'd be back to bother me."

"But now we can—"

She gave him a little kick, and he fell back down the hall toward the transporter room. "Oh now go, walk out the door, just turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye. Did you think I'd crumble, did you think I'd lay down and die?"

She saw John poke his head out of her bedroom door, take a quick step toward her, but she gestured for him to stay where he was. She continued pushing Katar toward the transporter. "Oh no, not I. I will survive. As long as I know how to love I know I'll stay alive."

"But you can love me—"

"I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give, I'll survive!" She repeated vehemently. "It took all the strength I had not to fall apart, just trying to mend the pieces of my broken heart. And I spent so many nights feeling sorry for myself, I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high."

She stopped at her bedroom, gave an astounded GL a quick kiss, and grabbed her mace. She went back out into the hallway, brandished it Katar's way. "And I hold this up high. You see me, somebody new. I'm not that stupid little person who's still in love with you. And so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free, but I'm saving all my love for someone who's loving me."

Katar looked over her shoulder at GL. "Him?"

She charged the mace. "Go. Walk out that door into the transporter room."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay." He glared at GL for a moment before adding, "That girl is mine, and I want her back."

GL leaned against the doorjamb and grinned. "Cry me a river, Birdman."

Hawkgirl lowered her mace in surprise, turned on GL in annoyance. "Birdman? Does that make me Birdgirl?"

John's grin faded. Katar's grin widened. "No!" John tried to backpedal quickly, but knew by Shayera's reddening cheeks that she was about to whack both men into oblivion. "You know, that old cartoon, with Birdman. Biiiiiiiird-Man!"

Shayera wasn't amused.

Katar was.

Until Shayera lifted her mace and came after both of them.

**************

J'onn huddled in the corner of the kitchen, wondering about the smell of Eggos that permeated the room. He lifted the phone, dialed the secret number.

A woman's sultry voice answered on the other end. After giving her his credit card number, she began speaking.

J'onn was one of her best customers, and she knew just what to do for him. "Grab hold of that bottle of milk, baby. That's right. Now shake it up baby, now."

He shook the milk for all he was worth.

Her sensual tones shivered through him. "Now twist that cap off hard. Twist and shout as the milk pours into your glass."

J'onn twisted, and let out a small yelp as he filled the glass, then pulled a package of Oreos onto his lap.

"Get those cookies out of that bag, you big, strong man. Oooh, it makes me trembled just to think of you stroking your cookies. C'mon baby, now, work them on out of that package."

He eagerly pulled the cookies out of the cellophane, laid them out in front of himself. "Oh, they look so good."

"You know they look and twist so good. They twist so fine." Her voice lowered, became urgent. "C'mon and twist them a little closer now, and let them know they are yours."

He twisted the cookie close to his face, inhaled the delicious scent of the creamy filling. "I'll let you know you are mine," he told the hapless, waiting Oreo. He bit into it.

"Ooooooooohhhhhhh!" The woman cried out. "Ooooooooooohhhhh! I'm twisting and shouting, baby!"

J'onn finished the entire package with her voice moaning into his ear. It cost him $48.76, but it was well worth it.

The horror of the Girl Scout Cookie incident was starting to fade.