CHAPTER XII
Flashback:
Harry entered the hospital wing. He'd left Ron and Hermione up in the common room, there was too much tension between them. He saw that Ginny was awake. She didn't say anything when he came in. Harry sat down on the floor, leaning his back against the wall.
"How you feeling?" he asked her.
"Fine, what great start for my first game as chaser," she said sarcastically.
Harry chuckled.
"Don't feel bad, just think how many times I've ended up in here because of quidditch. You're just taking after me is all."
Ginny snorted and reached over from her position on the bad to mess up his hair. They sat for a while, in a comfortable silence. Ginny watched Harry's face. He looked tired.
"How about you?" she asked. Harry raised his eyes.
"How about what?" he asked.
"How are you feeling?" she clarified.
Harry looked confused. Ginny sniffed exasperatedly.
"You look tired Harry," She said.
"Oh thanks," said Harry jokingly.
Ginny shook her head at him.
"You look tired," she repeated. "You don't eat much either."
Harry looked at her in surprise. He glanced down and fiddled with his sleeve.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said.
"Oh don't you?" Ginny raised and elegantly curved eyebrow.
"Don't play stupid Harry, Ron and Hermione may be a little to caught up in all their tension to notice, but I'm not stupid."
"I know," Harry said in a low voice.
"With this new build of yours you should really eat more," she scolded.
Harry mumbled something. Ginny shook her head again.
"What's that?" she asked him.
"I said I just don't have much appetite these days," said Harry a little louder.
He looked as though he wanted to drop the subject. Ginny let it be for a few minutes. She knew what was wrong, and she thought it would make him feel better if he would just talk about it. He obviously wasn't going to come out and tell her though. He was simply looking down at his bundled invisibility cloak and picking at the peeling paint where the floor met the wall.
"You've been dreaming again?" asked Ginny casually.
Harry jumped visibly, but didn't look up.
"Don't be silly Harry you think I don't understand? Why do you think I needed to learn meditation after the Chamber of Secrets? Because I missed him?" she asked derisively.
Now Harry really was staring at her. He didn't need her to tell him who "he" was.
"I never thought of that," he told her.
Ginny didn't respond.
"I dream about lots of things. Mostly people dying. Because of me, always because of me." Harry's voice was strained. "Sometimes I can see what he's doing. I see Snape even. He's in pain. I almost feel sorry for him," Harry's voice cracked.
Ginny looked at him with sympathy.
"I don't know how many times people have told you it isn't your fault Harry, but I'm not going to tell you it. Want to know why?" she asked him.
"Why," asked Harry, not really sounding as though he was listening.
"Because it is your fault."
Harry's eyes widened considerably, and he stared at her in shock.
"Because you are here," continued Ginny, "sure, we have lots of trouble. There's no point in denying it. Just try and think how much more trouble we'd all have though, if you weren't here. You've got to stop being so selfish and thinking It's my fault these things happen'. You don't give Voldemort half enough credit. If you weren't here he would have wreaked so much hell over the world we probably wouldn't really have a world anymore."
Harry stood up abruptly breathing heavily.
"It will help to talk you know," insisted Ginny.
He looked at her with eyes slightly damp. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away from her, walking to the door.
"Maybe I'm not ready to talk yet," he said very quietly.
When Ginny looked up he was gone.
Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, all sat in the library one afternoon paging through books and writing down notes. The animagus potions had been put together a few days ago, a long and frustrating process that no one particularily wanted to repeat. They were simmering happily away in the back room of Professor Jeanne's classroom, where she did all her private potion brewing. Professor Dumbledore himself had overseen it, making sure that certain ingredients were added at the exact right time, otherwise any number of bad things could happen. Once that was finished, he had informed them that the potions had to stay like this for a month, and that in the meantime they should research other aspects of animagus transformations until it was time to undergo the second stage of the potion brewing. So that is what they were doing. Harry was pointedly avoiding Ginny's eyes. The conversation the other night was still fresh in his mind. Concentrate on what you're trying to do Harry, he told himself.
"Ooh look here," said Hermione.
Harry shook himself more thoroughly out of his reverie and leaned over.
"This is interesting: many people do not succeed in a full transformation until up to four years. With outside help however, people have been know to achieve the full form in one year. Barnabus Bartholomew a known scientist, is among the few people who ever accomplished such a feat in less than six months.' I wonder how he did it?" murmured Hermione.
Ginny looked up from a large book she was paging through.
" I suppose he just devoted a lot of his time into it."
Hermione shook her head.
"No, no, there's almost always an answer to things like this, six months is an awfully short time. I'm going to find a book on him and see if there's anything on it."
She got up and disappeared behind the shelves.
Harry chuckled despite how he was feeling. Ginny has a point you know, about what Voldemort would have done if he hadn't tried to attack you, said a small reasonable voice inside him. He pushed it away impatiently.
"Leave it to Hermione," he said. Flipping closed a book and changing to another one.
Hermione returned, carrying another stack of books. She dumped them on the table and straightened, looking at them with satisfaction. She sat down next to Ron and selected the top book to read. Soon she was flipping pages and muttering to herself.
Ron sighed and looked at his watch.
"Guys it's getting late and we have school tomorrow. Plus there's another quidditch match next week Harry, we should be resting up."
Harry nodded in agreement. Relieved to be done with research for the night. He stood up when Ron did. Ginny nodded shortly after as well and closed several books she had spread around her.
"Come on Hermione, the books will all be here when we come back."
"Fine fine," said Hermione, "but I'm checking this one out, its got some useful information in it."
Ron and Harry rolled their eyes.
Hermione stood up, and carried the book over to Madam Pince. Who took the book from her while glaring at Ron and Harry every chance she got, making sure they weren't causing trouble. Ron made a rude gesture to her behind her back.
"Ron!" admonished Ginny.
Ron ignored her, but folded his arms in front of him.
Harry stifled a chuckle and headed turned to the door, waiting a few seconds for them all to catch up.
***
On Halloween, all the students were allowed to go down to Hogsmead for the second time, while up at the school, teachers and house elves were busily decorating for the Halloween feast. Harry had serious doubts as to whether the day would turn out normal. Nothing was ever normal for him on Halloween. With the animagus potions still simmering, and no other success on the mystery of Baranabus Bartholomew, the four teenagers planned to spend the day doing whatever they wanted.
At the end of the day, the four of them traipsed excitedly back to the castle, Ginny and Hermione both carrying paper wrapped parcels containing dress robes, and Ron and Harry each carrying a bag full of the latest Zonko's tricks and Honeyduke's candy.
They entered the great hall expectantly, where teachers were just adding the finishing touches. The room was lit by thousands of jack-o-lanterns, grinning down at them from high in the air. Real bats fluttered by, baring little teeth and squeaking, and bowls full of candy in brightly colored wrappers were arranged on the tables. Harry and beckoned to Ron, Hermione and Ginny as he made his way over to join the other Gryffindors. Soon other students were filing in, helping themselves to the candy and waiting for the other food to arrive. They was a collective sigh of approval when finally the feast appeared. Lamb chops, sausages and mashed potatoes and spoon bread with gravy, corn and acorn squash began to disappear quickly into the hungry mouths of the students. It left very little time for Harry to brood. He had the spoon bread half way to his mouth when he felt a twinge in his scar. Out of insinct, he looked over at the staff table to where Dumbledore would be. A familiar looking person, who did not teach at the school, was standing next to Dumbledore's chair talking quickly to him. Dumbledore nodded, raised himself from his chair and spoke briefly with McGonagall. Professor McGonagall looked concerned, but nodded and stayed where she was. Harry turned to his friends.
"Something's up, I'll be right back," he told them.
They all looked about to protest, especially Ginny, so Harry quickly dissaparated.
"I hate it when he does that," grumbled Ron.
"Accio Invisibility cloak," whispered Harry. He caught it as it zoomed towards him and threw it over his shoulders. Looking around, he saw Dumbledore and the man heading around one of the corridors. He tip toed after them keeping a safe distance. They turned corners several more times. Harry was now thoroughly lost. Having a sudden idea, he cast a useful little charm on the strange man. It was a tracking charm, it gave him the ability to hear their conversations in his ear.
"Has the Order been called?" asked Dumbledore.
"Yes that's where we're headed now sir," said the man. His voice was fairly deep. Harry recognized him now as Kingsley Shacklebolt. Uh oh, the order is having an unplanned meeting. Something bad must have happened. He swallowed; feeling a little worried and continued to track Dumbledore and Shacklebolt. The suddenly stopped at a solid wall. They were in a place Harry had never seen before. He waited expectantly.
"You are more than welcome to join us in this meeting Harry, but you'll have to remove the cloak," said Dumbledore, turning to face the exact spot where Harry was standing.
Harry laughed and removed the cloak with a flourish.
"Dumbledore you are truly tricky man," he said, walking over to them.
Kingsley was now staring from Harry to Dumbledore in shock.
"Howwhere?" he floundered.
Dumbledore just barely smiled.
"I think you will find Kingsley, that Harry almost never misses anything of importance that goes on in this castle," he paused, " or anywhere else for that matter."
Harry grinned.
"And seeing," Dumbledore continued, " as in the end it all really pertains to him, I find no good reason to stop him. Now let us continue, before the Order gets worried that we have been intercepted by something."
He tapped his wand in a complex dance along the wall.
"But we have been intercepted by something. It was Harry," said Kingsley, smiling slightly.
"Ah yes, my mistake," said Dumbledore as they headed through as opening that had appeared in the wall.
"No you weren't really intercepted by me," said Harry, " I was more coming from in behind rather than perpendicular."
Kingsley chuckled, Dumbledore smiled. They continued down a little hallway, until they reached a huge old wooden double-door with scene inlaid in brass dancing across it. It showed a phoenix rearing in the sky, spreading huge wings, and behind it were men looking confidently forward. They were facing a huge serpent, who did not look as though he would be easily beaten, and behind him terrible looking creatures leered and bared their teeth, allied by dark hooded figures. The handles were brass phoenix feathers. Dumbledore gripped on handle and pulled. The doors gave way under his touch, and opened voluntarily.
"This is the Great Hall of the Phoenix Harry," said Dumbledore, " This is where the orders meetings have long taken place."
"Why didn't we use this instead of Si" he swallowed painfully" Sirius' place in fifth year."
Dumbledore shook his head.
"The Ministry was keeping a strict eye on Hogwarts, It would have been to much to risk."
As they stepped inside, Harry saw many familiar and unfamiliar people. Obviously the Order.
"Harry!" came a cry.
Mrs. Weasley came galloping over. Everyone turned at the sound of his name.
"Harry what on earth are you doing here? Albus, this is no place for children!" she admonished him.
Harry felt a rather large spark of irritation. He was certainly not a child anymore. Dumbledore opened his mouth but Harry cut him off.
"I think, Mrs. Weasley," said Harry quietly, " That it is time to stop thinking of me as a child, and more as the person that ultimately will need to make the most use of the information being passed in this room. If you understand my meaning."
Mrs. Weasley's eyes widened. She understood that Harry was referring to his inevitable future battle with Voldemort. She swallowed, sniffled, and nodded.
" Yes, yes you're quite right Harry, I was just worried," she told him. Harry felt a pang of guilt. That's no way to talk to Mrs. Weasley you prat! His internal voice told him. Harry gave her a brief hug.
"It's good to see you Mrs. Weasley."
She smiled and turned.
"Everyone, this is Harry Potter, for those who don't know him," she said clearly.
Dumbledore nodded. Several people craned their necks to look at him properly.
"He will be joining our meetings from now on," said Dumbledore. "Let us get to business, everyone sit down, I want reports." He took his seat at the head of the huge table that sat in the middle of the Hall of the Phoenix. Everyone else took their places as well. Dumbledore motioned for Harry to sit next to him.
"Kingsley, why don't you tell the order what has happened, for those that have not received the news," stated Dumbledore.
Kingsley cleared his throat.
"Azkaban is no longer under ministry control. The Ministry, as usual, has decided not to release this news to the public yet, but it has been seized by Voldemort." He declared this calmly, as though he were commenting on the weather. People around the table gasped and stared. Harry himself felt sick, but he masked his emotions and maintained a calm face. Dumbledore's face was devoid of emotion, but his eyes flashed.
"What? How?" asked younger men further down the table that Harry didn't know.
"It is certainly bad news, but unfortunately, not unexpected," said Dumbledore. "Sooner or later the Ministry was bound to lose control of the remaining dementors."
"But what about the prisoners?" asked Mr. Weasley in horror.
"They have undoubtedly joined Voldemort once again," stated Dumbledore. Several people flinched at the sound of the name. You'd think, thought Harry, that after all these years, they'd learn to say his name. He shook his head.
"We need to develop a proper response," said Dumbledore loudly, steering the conversation towards something more constructive.
"Well, I say we try and get someone to fly over Azkaban and take a look at what the situation is," said Kingsley. Several people nodded.
"Easier said than done," said someone Harry couldn't see. "I doubt many people would want to fly over Azkaban while death eaters are occupying it." More nodding. Harry had a sudden idea. He stood up and pulled his wand out of his belt. He conjured a fictorpix (a sort of magical camera that resembles a very small spyglass, that displays pictures as holograms that float in the air like a real scene.) and flipped up the collar of his trench coat.
" Do not even contemplate it Harry," warned Dumbledore.
"Why not?" asked Harry.
"It is too dangerous," responded Professor Dumbledore, rising from his chair.
"What's too dangerous?" asked Mrs. Weasley in a panicky voice.
Harry's eyes flashed.
"Accio thunderbolt," he said with command. The doors to hall burst open, and Harry stuck out his hand. The broom smacked into his palm. "I'll be right back," he told the room quietly and dissapparated.
***
Harry hovered high in the air, amidst the pouring rain, where he had apparated several seconds ago. He pushed back his soaking hair from his forehead and pressed the fictorpix to one eye, twisting it with the other hand until he was focused up close on Azkaban. The death eaters had certainly made changes. Where no walls had been necessary before, they had erected huge stone ones, to keep out any unwanted visitors. Dementors patrolled the outside, resembling huge moving shadows. Harry's aura-sensitive brain registered a sickly green-black aura that surrounded them, writhing and oozing out behind them like a disease. He shuddered, feeling hollow and haunted inside. Mastering his emotion, he took a photo of the wall. The entire building itself looked very similar, except there were four black-cloaked people standing outside, guarding the entrance to the building itself. He took a picture of that, as well as the boats moored to the edge. Taking several more random pictures of various areas, Harry snapped shut the spyglass and stowed in an inside pocket of his coat. His fingers were beginning to get numb.
***
Several people shouted when Harry disappeared. Kingsley was on his feet in an instant, wand out.
"Please remain calm!" said Dumbledore loudly.
Everyone continued talking and muttering.
"Silence!" shouted Dumbledore.
Everyone stopped and looked at him with different expressions of shock and worry.
"Harry is perfectly fine I am sure," said Dumbledore, "He has merely gone and done exactly what I told him not to do."
"And what exactly would that be?" asked one old witch tartly.
"He has apparated above Azkaban to take pictures," stated Dumbledore with a slight amount of resignation.
"Impossible!" said one man loudly.
"What??" shrieked Mrs. Weasley.
"How?" asked Mr. Weasley.
Dumbledore motioned for more silence. He waited several moments before speaking.
"Some of you may not be aware of Harry's escapade over the summer," he told them. " He has drastically enhanced magical powers and the education of someone who has spent their life learning everything they can. His powers allow him to apparate through virtually anything. He also has the ability to perceive magical auras."
Most people gaped, but before they could ask more, Harry reappeared gripping his broom, and creating quite a puddle on the floor. He shook his hair like a dog and walked over.
"Got it," he said breathing loudly. He cast a spell on the factor pix and tossed it high into the air. Everyone watched it fly up, slowing down, as though trying to plow through a think substance that was holding it back. Eventually it froze like a bug in a spider web. The fictorpix began to spin, it whirled faster and faster, shooting out light as it did so. In this way it wove the pictures that Harry Had taken. Everything moved, more like a video rather than a set of pictures.
"That's the wall they've built," said Harry as it showed the first image, wiping his wet face with his slightly less damp sleeve. "It's huge. And there look, It's guarded by dementors. Very pleased dementors."
"How do you know they are pleased?" asked Kingsley.
"Their auras," said Harry in a disturbed voice. "Their auras a very bright. They glow this horribly sick color. It's neither green nor black, sort of both, and it looks like a disease." His voice got progressively more disturbed and his eyes widened. He turned. Everyone one was staring at him.
"I think you've done enough for us tonight Harry," said Dumbledore. "You need to sleep, why don't you head off to the dormitories."
Harry nodded. He suddenly wished he hadn't come. The feeling of those dementors, even from a distance, was taking its toll on him. He refused to show anyone else this however. As usual, he bundled it all inside him, and rearranged his face, masking the emotion. Not caring if it was rude, he grabbed his broom, and dissaparating directly into the Gryffindor common room. He was not surprised to find Ron, Hermione and Ginny, waiting up for him. Harry looked at his watch and was surprised to find that it was already midnight. His friends looked up at him, taking in his soaking and disheveled appearance. They all began to ask questions at once. Harry merely shook his head.
"I'll talk later, I'm going to bed," he said. His eyes looked cheerless.
Ginny, Ron and Hermione watched his retreating back. Ron looked at Hermione.
"I wonder what's up with him," asked Ron in bewilderment.
Hermione shook her head in confusion. For once, Ginny was surprised with Hermione lack of observation. She felt a stab of anger towards them both. Ginny stood up quickly.
"You two should be ashamed of yourselves," she said passionately.
Ron frowned.
"What?" he asked her.
"You two," she spat, "So sucked up in your own little relationship your missing everything!" She pointed furiously at where Harry had gone.
"He gets worse every day, the dreams, the newspaper articles, he takes it and just packs it all up inside him and eventually it's just going to boil over." Ginny swiped a fist furiously over her eyes. "He's so good at hiding it. Anyone else would think he's the happiest kid in the world," she sighed and turned towards the dormitories.
"I just thought you guys out of anyone should have been able to spot it early before he closed up entirely," Ginny sniffed and left.
Ron and Hermione looked at each other, aghast. Hermione's eyes filled with tears. Ron looked down,
"Damnit," he said quietly.