This is the Mary Sue that Chloe wrote. Please don't flame me, as THIS IS A
SUBTLE PARODY. In other words, it's a parody in which it's not obvious, but
just so you see it's a Mary-Sue. Please feel free to point and laugh.
* Is for thought.
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A girl with chin length spiky red hair was sitting on top of a pile of grey rubble, giggling like crazy. Upon a closer look, you could see streaks of electric blue in her hair, and he face was covered in dirt. All around her, there were people of her age crawling out from under dirt and rocks, smiles definitely not on their dials. A teacher was walking up to her, severe anger on her face.
"MISS WOODS!" The teacher was standing over her, robes torn in several places. "Would you kindly explain why you have blown up the entire transfiguration turret?"
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"Hey, look at that chick over there . . . I haven't seen her before. She looks too old to be a first year. My god, she is so beautiful I just want to spray some broken glass over this brickwork floor so I can crawl over it to get to her." Lee Jordan was talking to Fred Weasley, but hadn't noticed that Fred had left a while back.
Summer Woods was having trouble getting her three pink glittery suitcases on board the Hogwarts express.
"May I help you?" A voice behind her spoke in a cool voice, dripping with impatience. She turned around, and saw a blonde boy her age looking up at her with crossed arms. She smiled at him and said: "sure, if you're offering . . ."
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She got onto the train and separated from the blonde boy at a compartment near the back of the train. She saw some ferals going right up the back, and yelled out . . .
"BACK SEAT BOGENS!"
Satisfied, she went into the nearest carriage and found six people already in there. A girl with dirty blonde hair, *like Christina Aguilera* she thought. A girl with long red hair *copying me*, a girl with frizzy brown hair *Afro* a boy with messy black hair *Goth material* a boy with red hair, *poss. relative of chick with red hair* and a fat boy. *Fatboy slim . . .* she thought to herself, smiling. She stepped into the cabin and sat down.
"Who are you?" the boy with the red hair asked. "I haven't seen you before".
"I'm new, I'm Summer Woods. Who are you, red headed rat rooter?"
"I'm Ron Weasley, and you have red hair too, so you're a red headed rat rooter." He said, somewhat triumphantly.
"Um, hello? It has blue streaks. Besides, red isn't my natural colour. It doesn't count."
"Right. We've never seen a new girl here before, except for first years." This 'Ron' character said suspiciously.
"I was expelled from my old school? Dur?" She answered coolly.
"What for?" The Christina Aguilera girl asked absently.
"Blowing up half the castle." She said, slightly annoyed. "Not like it's any of your business, I don't even know your name"
"It's Luna Lovegood." The red head girl said. "By the way, I'm Ginny Weasley, This is Hermione Granger and Harry Potter, and that's Neville Longbottom."
But Summer had already left, gone to find some interesting people.
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Albus Dumbledore was making some announcements after the first years were sorted. Summer still hadn't been sorted yet, something she was mightily pissed off about.
"We have a new student here at Hogwarts! Her name is Summer Woods. Please step up to the sorting hat, Miss Woods, so you may be sorted."
Summer walked up to the hat, her natural RADIANCE flowing over everyone in the hall. She stepped up to the stool, and sat on it, after brushing the dust off with a gentle hand. She put on the hat, and to the people that had been in the carriage with her, there was shock as the hat yelled out, clear as the lovely little nose on her face . . . "SLYTHERIN!"
She glided over to the Slytherin table and sat down. She noticed with faint surprise that the blonde boy was in this house too.
"Hey, we meet again!" He said, holding out a hand and smiling. "The name's Draco, by the way. Draco Malfoy."
"Hey. The name's Summer, by the way." She said RADIANTLY, with a joking mock to her voice. "Summer Woods."
*He is gorgeous. Not like me. I am so ugly. How can you bear to look upon my face? * She thought sadly.
*She is so cute. All right, she's slightly less cool looking than I am, but that's still a pretty hard feat to accomplish.* He thought smugly.
"There's food on the plates now, you'll starve if you keep looking at HER like that" said a cold voice, clearly jealous of Summer's absolute RADIANCE.
"Oh, don't be a spoilsport, Pansy. I can eat whenever I like." Draco snapped at Miss Jealousy, who got up abruptly and left, knocking Draco's pumpkin juice onto his robes.
"Wow" was all Draco could say, pumpkin juice seeping through his robes, practically freezing him to death.
"Don't worry about her. I'm sure we'll be awesome friends." Summer stated matter-of-factly, flashing her most RADIANT smile, causing Draco to melt like an ice cube in a volcano.
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Cliffhanger galore! Tune in next time for my next thrilling instalment! If I don't get at least 5 reviews I'll stop writing this! I'm sure no one wants that!
(T/A/N (true author note [as opposed to Chloe's author note]) how Mary-Sue ish! To make this more parody-like, I'll capitalise the words RADIANT, RADIANCE and RADIANTLY. At the end of the fic, if you can tell me how many radian- words I've put in, you'll get three boxes of double choc tim tams! Great for all those tearjerker movies that Mary-Sue writers love. Oh, if u want an awesome movie, get Where The Heart Is. It's my all time fave. It's a bit chick-flick-ish, but oh well. I love it.)
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A girl with chin length spiky red hair was sitting on top of a pile of grey rubble, giggling like crazy. Upon a closer look, you could see streaks of electric blue in her hair, and he face was covered in dirt. All around her, there were people of her age crawling out from under dirt and rocks, smiles definitely not on their dials. A teacher was walking up to her, severe anger on her face.
"MISS WOODS!" The teacher was standing over her, robes torn in several places. "Would you kindly explain why you have blown up the entire transfiguration turret?"
____________________
"Hey, look at that chick over there . . . I haven't seen her before. She looks too old to be a first year. My god, she is so beautiful I just want to spray some broken glass over this brickwork floor so I can crawl over it to get to her." Lee Jordan was talking to Fred Weasley, but hadn't noticed that Fred had left a while back.
Summer Woods was having trouble getting her three pink glittery suitcases on board the Hogwarts express.
"May I help you?" A voice behind her spoke in a cool voice, dripping with impatience. She turned around, and saw a blonde boy her age looking up at her with crossed arms. She smiled at him and said: "sure, if you're offering . . ."
____________________
She got onto the train and separated from the blonde boy at a compartment near the back of the train. She saw some ferals going right up the back, and yelled out . . .
"BACK SEAT BOGENS!"
Satisfied, she went into the nearest carriage and found six people already in there. A girl with dirty blonde hair, *like Christina Aguilera* she thought. A girl with long red hair *copying me*, a girl with frizzy brown hair *Afro* a boy with messy black hair *Goth material* a boy with red hair, *poss. relative of chick with red hair* and a fat boy. *Fatboy slim . . .* she thought to herself, smiling. She stepped into the cabin and sat down.
"Who are you?" the boy with the red hair asked. "I haven't seen you before".
"I'm new, I'm Summer Woods. Who are you, red headed rat rooter?"
"I'm Ron Weasley, and you have red hair too, so you're a red headed rat rooter." He said, somewhat triumphantly.
"Um, hello? It has blue streaks. Besides, red isn't my natural colour. It doesn't count."
"Right. We've never seen a new girl here before, except for first years." This 'Ron' character said suspiciously.
"I was expelled from my old school? Dur?" She answered coolly.
"What for?" The Christina Aguilera girl asked absently.
"Blowing up half the castle." She said, slightly annoyed. "Not like it's any of your business, I don't even know your name"
"It's Luna Lovegood." The red head girl said. "By the way, I'm Ginny Weasley, This is Hermione Granger and Harry Potter, and that's Neville Longbottom."
But Summer had already left, gone to find some interesting people.
____________________
Albus Dumbledore was making some announcements after the first years were sorted. Summer still hadn't been sorted yet, something she was mightily pissed off about.
"We have a new student here at Hogwarts! Her name is Summer Woods. Please step up to the sorting hat, Miss Woods, so you may be sorted."
Summer walked up to the hat, her natural RADIANCE flowing over everyone in the hall. She stepped up to the stool, and sat on it, after brushing the dust off with a gentle hand. She put on the hat, and to the people that had been in the carriage with her, there was shock as the hat yelled out, clear as the lovely little nose on her face . . . "SLYTHERIN!"
She glided over to the Slytherin table and sat down. She noticed with faint surprise that the blonde boy was in this house too.
"Hey, we meet again!" He said, holding out a hand and smiling. "The name's Draco, by the way. Draco Malfoy."
"Hey. The name's Summer, by the way." She said RADIANTLY, with a joking mock to her voice. "Summer Woods."
*He is gorgeous. Not like me. I am so ugly. How can you bear to look upon my face? * She thought sadly.
*She is so cute. All right, she's slightly less cool looking than I am, but that's still a pretty hard feat to accomplish.* He thought smugly.
"There's food on the plates now, you'll starve if you keep looking at HER like that" said a cold voice, clearly jealous of Summer's absolute RADIANCE.
"Oh, don't be a spoilsport, Pansy. I can eat whenever I like." Draco snapped at Miss Jealousy, who got up abruptly and left, knocking Draco's pumpkin juice onto his robes.
"Wow" was all Draco could say, pumpkin juice seeping through his robes, practically freezing him to death.
"Don't worry about her. I'm sure we'll be awesome friends." Summer stated matter-of-factly, flashing her most RADIANT smile, causing Draco to melt like an ice cube in a volcano.
____________________
Cliffhanger galore! Tune in next time for my next thrilling instalment! If I don't get at least 5 reviews I'll stop writing this! I'm sure no one wants that!
(T/A/N (true author note [as opposed to Chloe's author note]) how Mary-Sue ish! To make this more parody-like, I'll capitalise the words RADIANT, RADIANCE and RADIANTLY. At the end of the fic, if you can tell me how many radian- words I've put in, you'll get three boxes of double choc tim tams! Great for all those tearjerker movies that Mary-Sue writers love. Oh, if u want an awesome movie, get Where The Heart Is. It's my all time fave. It's a bit chick-flick-ish, but oh well. I love it.)