Legolas sat in the study admiring Estel. The human was napping, unintentionally no doubt, in a sunbeam; curled up like a giant cat around the large tome on pregnancy Lord Elrond had given him to read. Legolas was glad he was resting. To his eyes the young human looked impossibly frail and waifish. Estel had lost perhaps ten pounds in the last month and it showed. His keen eyes picked up every jutting bone and every sunken hollow. Legolas worried that even Estel's belly, which should be expanding, seemed to have become thinner. The young Ranger's cheekbones stuck out prominently and his hands looked downright skeletal. Estel seemed to have perpetual dark smudges under his eyes as if he never slept. Every time Legolas questioned Lord Elrond on the subject, the half elf would just answer. "It was perfectly normal. Not to worry. Estel will feel much better soon. It is only the first little while that is bad." Of course he had been saying it for six weeks.
The past six weeks had been very hard on both of them. Legolas worried constantly about his father's reaction to the news that Estel was carrying his grandchild. Legolas had sent the King of Mirkwood a letter saying that his company was required in Imladris as soon as possible. However, Legolas was hoping that he wouldn't be here too soon. Much to his son's relief, Thranduil had sent a missive saying there were several matters of state he needed to attend to before he could be spared to go on pleasure bent to Rivendell. Though Legolas knew his father would take no pleasure from visiting the seat of Noldor power. It galled King Thranduil that a half Elvin Lord garnered more respect than he, an Elvin King, did. It also bothered the head of Mirkwood that Lady Galadriel had repeatedly chosen to side with Elrond in matters of state. But perhaps worst of all, Elrond gave refuge to Thranduil's most hated rival, Glorfindel. Thranduil had painted such a picture of a perfect monster, that Legolas had been surprised to find out that the ancient elf was a truly charming and friendly sort of elf.
Legolas knew his father would be cross, at best. He feared his father might disown him, or worse refuse to let him recognize his own daughter. That was part of the reason he had been so intent on getting Estel to marry him. Under Elvin law Thranduil could do nothing to prevent Legolas's daughter from living in Mirkwood if she was the product of a proper marriage. However, since Estel was determined that she should be born a bastard, Thranduil had the power and the right to banish her and forbid Legolas from ever seeing her. Under the custom of most elves, a young lord was still considered part of their father's house until he married or took control of the house. Legolas had done neither so he was still under Thranduil's thumb.
He also fretted over how his father would react to being around the members of Elrond's house. Thranduil had made no secret of his dislike of Legolas's friendship with the twins and especially Estel. His father truly and strongly disliked the young human for reasons Legolas could not understand. Estel had been nothing but a true and honorable friend, yet the king still derided him and despised him. Estel had taken the whole thing in stride, trying his best to stay out of the King's way, but every once and a while their paths would cross and Thranduil would let the young Ranger know exactly how far beneath Legolas Thranduil thought he was. Legolas could see that these encounters greatly bothered Estel, but Estel would never talk about it. Legolas was not looking forward to what Thranduil would say to Estel now. And he was really dreading the way the over protective twins and foster father would react to Thranduil's opinion. But most of all Legolas was dreading the way he would react. Normally he would bow his head and let his father yell and insult the young human, figuring that it was not his place to interfere. But now, the thought of anyone harming Estel made the elf seethe with rage. He would not let his father hurt Estel, and he would end up paying a price for it.
Legolas noticed that Estel fidgeted in his sleep, rolling more onto his stomach. Legolas guessed the human should enjoy the luxury of getting to sleep on is stomach while he still could. Legolas spent much time also worrying over Estel and his daughter's health. The pregnancy had hit the young Ranger hard, to say the least. Every symptom he had ever heard from and old wives' tales the human seemed to have. Exhaustion, backaches, dizziness, moodiness, and nausea were just the tip of the iceberg. His friend had been very ill these past six weeks and very ill tempered.
Legolas was unsure how to help Estel through these problems. He, himself, had little to no experience with pregnant women. The only one he had ever been around was his mother, and he had been very young at the time. Legolas tried his best not to think on the fact that is dear mother lost her life in childbirth. He did not want to bring that thought around Estel at all. For example, a few weeks ago Legolas had come into the study in search of his best friend. He had found Estel sitting in the same seat he occupied now. His friend had been looking out of the window with tears streaming down his pale face. Legolas had rushed over to the crying human and tried to comfort him.
"Estel, whatever is wrong?" Legolas had asked with the greatest concern.
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing!" Estel had begun to weep in earnest.
"Are you sure nothing is wrong? Why do you cry?"
"I don't know." Estel had wailed.
"You don't know if anything is wrong or you don't know why you cry?" Legolas had become rapidly confused. It was very unlike his friend to cry at all, much less so openly in front of Legolas.
"I don't know why I am crying."
"How could you not know?" Legolas felt no closer to understanding Estel's sadness.
"I don't know why I don't know." Now Estel's answers were not even making sense.
"Tell me what happened."
"Nothing happened. I was just sitting her and started crying for no reason and now I can't stop and I don't know why. Which just makes me want to cry even more." Estel was all but sobbing uncontrollably now.
Legolas had gathered the Ranger into his arms and held him as he wept. Estel had burrowed deep against his friend's chest and taken solace in the elf's strength. Though Legolas had been badly confused at Estel's behaviour and his heart had gone out to his best friend, he could not deny that he had longed for the contact. Those few simple minutes he had been holding Estel had given him hours of fantasies at night.
At first, Legolas was slightly worried about his attraction to Estel, then he had assumed it was a spiritual connection due to the child, but Legolas finally realized that he had always loved the beautiful young Ranger. Even when Estel was covered in dirt, smelled like a horse, and felt greasy and gritty at the same time; Legolas found him irresistible. Legolas had not been upset that he had found another man attractive, that was nothing knew. After all, he had much more experience with men than with women. What bothered him was that Estel did not seem to return his affections. Even as he looked at the human now, hair unevenly pulled back, clothes wrinkled and curled up napping, no doubt as an escape from his churning tummy; all he wanted to do was crawl beside Estel and kiss away his discomfort. But he knew Estel would NEVER allow that. In fact Estel would no doubt be uncomfortable with even being alone with Legolas.
"No, Legolas, do not think on that." The elf admonished himself. He would think of more pleasant things now, while he still could.
He could feel a smile tug at his lips as he thought of another of Estel's symptoms. Estel had protested that he had gone his whole life and never fainted until he met Legolas. And now, he felt so light headed all the time he couldn't stand up without the room spinning. They had had a good laugh about that until Estel had actually fainted. But worse than just fainting, it had been in front of Glorfindel, his brothers, and half of the Imladris Guard. Estel had been so mortified he could have cried.
It had been about a month ago. Spring had come and with it many of the mares began to foal. One quiet evening they had been sitting in the study after dinner playing a card game. Legolas and the twins had been very pleased Estel had ventured from his rooms for the evening. Normally once he went into his room he didn't come back out until the morning, but that day he had decided he wanted something to take his mind off of his upset stomach. So there they had sat playing cards while Elrond worked.
A guard had come running into the study looking disheveled and alarmed. The Lord had immediately bade him to enter and tell his new. "Lord Glorfindel sends his regards. I am to tell the young sirs that Estel's mare, Orlean, is about to foal." Estel had been very excited that his horse was having a baby. He had faithfully gone to visit her everyday he had been able. He would walk with her around the meadow, allowing both of them to get some exercise, telling her that he understood how she felt. She would whicker back and poke him in the belly with her nose.
The twins had jumped up to go watch, while Estel had risen more slowly. He had learned over the prior weeks to not stand up too fast. Elrond had stopped him. "Estel, are you sure you want to go all the way to the stable? Glor will be there in case anything goes wrong." Estel had not really fancied walking all the way back down to the stables, but he would do it for Orlean, she had saved his life more than once.
"I am not an invalid, Ada, you told me to take it easy, not stay in bed for nine months." Estel had tried to sound less cross and more confident than he felt.
"I know, but you were very ill today and you have not eaten much. I think you should let someone else stay with her. I think she will understand." Elrond had known it was underhanded to point out to Estel that he was not half as good at hiding his morning sickness as he thought he was. Elrond had been certain that every elf in Imladris had heard his son vomiting earlier this afternoon. But for some reason Estel found it necessary to pretend that he was fine.
"Ada, she is my horse, I should be there. I feel fine, it is not like I am going to Mirkwood, just to the stables." Elrond had still been unconvinced.
"Do not worry, I will keep an eye on him." Legolas had decided now was a good time to
step in, before the whole thing had became a battle of wills between father and
son.
"Very well, but I want you back in one piece. And promise me if you start to feel poorly again you will come straight back. You must be careful, Estel, for both of your sakes." Elrond had smiled indulgently at his son, and then glared at Legolas. Though a few weeks had passed since Elrond's initial rage, he still had not returned to feeling comfortable with the wood elf again. The Lord's look had been designed to let Legolas know that he would pay if something happened to Estel. Legolas had been unable to keep eye contact for long, but it had enough.
Legolas and Estel had walked outside and hurried down to the stable. Estel had been quite anxious about Orlean's welfare, while Legolas had felt the same way about Estel. Every time Estel had tried to quicken the pace, Legolas refused to walk any faster. Estel had worried they would miss the entire thing because his companion refused to move faster than a slow stroll. At one point Estel decided just to leave Legolas behind, but the elf had sped up and stood right in front of him so that he had had no choice but to slow back down.
By the time they had arrived, Glorfindel and the twins were already settled and watching the large mare. In addition to those three, many of the Imladris guard had also come to watch knowing that the foal would most likely go to one of them. The foal would be quite the prize having Orlean for a mother and Asfaloth for a sire. Luckily there were two free spots right in the front. Glorfindel had saved them for Estel and Legolas.
Even though Legolas had forced the two to walk very slowly, they had not missed the big event. The mare had still not dropped her foal yet, but she was very close. Her large body was covered in a thick lather and she panted and strained. Estel had felt very sorry for her, wishing there was something he could do to help her. Not knowing what else to do he had whispered words of encouragement to her. He did not have Glorfindel's gift in speaking to animals, however she seemed to calm after hearing is voice.
At that point she had begun to truly birth the foal. Glorfindel had turned to Estel. "I think she was waiting for you to show up, Pup." Normally Estel would have been annoyed by the ancient elf calling him pup, but he had been too engrossed in watching Orlean struggle to have her foal. She would stand up and then lay down and then repeat the whole process. All the while slowly forcing the foal out of her. Estel had thought that there was no way, the foal was too large and Orlean had looked too tired to try anymore. But somehow she had kept on going even though her mighty legs had shook with exhaustion.
When the foal had been about half way born, something very unpleasant had occurred to the young Ranger. In a few months this would be him. It was all very easy to not think about it right now, especially in the mitts of all the other unpleasantness he was going through, but soon he would have to pass something that weighed seven or eight pounds with a head the size of a melon through some place he just didn't think it would fit. He just hadn't been able to wrap his mind around how it could actually be done. Not to mention he could see the pain poor Orlean was going through, and he wondered if it would be as bad for him. But then again, he could not imagine how forcing anything that large through any part of his body could possibly not hurt. He had been able to feel his head start to swim fore thinking of it.
When Estel had looked up again the final part of the foal had cleared Orlean's body and with it came a gush of fluids and other unpleasantness. Estel had remembered wondering if Orlean was still in pain and whether the foal was a boy or girl, and then the next thing he had remembered was waking up on the floor of he barn to hay poking him in the back and side of his face. He had remembered seeing the twin's worried faces, Glorfindel's rather amused face, and Legolas's look of sheer terror (Estel had known the fear had been from thinking about Lord Elrond's retribution, not Estel's well being). He had also remembered the sound of the guardsman laughing at him.
Legolas had not been able to blame the guards. It had actually been quite funny. Estel had been standing by the side of the stall looking in. Then he had looked down and put his hand on his stomach. Legolas had been afraid the young human would be ill again, but he had been holding the bottom part of his stomach rather than the top as he usually did when he felt sick. But Legolas had worried as his friend very quickly grew very pale. Legolas could almost read the thoughts from his friend. Estel had just realized that he would be going through this whole ordeal soon enough. Estel had looked up just as the foal had been born. The young human mother then proceeded to faint dead away, landing on the floor just outside of the stall. It all happened so quickly not even Legolas had had time to catch him. Legolas and the twins had nearly panicked, until Glorfindel calmed them down and explained that it was nothing to worry about.
Just about that time the young Ranger had started to wake up. Once realization had dawned on Estel, Legolas could see that he was deeply embarrassed for what he perceived as a weakness. The snide laughing guardsman did not make matters any better. Estel would have wanted to walk off with his dignity, but he had been too dizzy to walk back to the house unaided. Legolas had deeply enjoyed the contact with his friend, even if it was just for a few minutes.
Legolas was happy that Estel did not seem to suffer from any other fainting spells. However, his friend did seem to suffer badly from nausea. No matter what poor Estel did, he could not seem to get rid of it. Lord Elrond had scoured his books trying to find something to help his child, but nothing had worked. Estel had explained it to Legolas just last week by saying he felt like he had a bad case of stomach flu all of the time. And more often then not felt like he needed to throw up, especially in the afternoons. Legolas guess that was one of the reasons his friend chose to nap in the afternoons. Yes, Estel seemed to be perpetually tired, but he guessed his friend used the naps as an escape from the worst of his nausea.
This seemed to be the symptom that plagued his love the worst. And unfortunately, the twins found it rather amusing. Estel had developed and almost canine like sense of smell, and just about anything with a strong smell would turn the Ranger green around the gills. But the worst was rabbit. For some reason Estel could not stomach being anywhere near a cooking rabbit. Legolas guessed that Estel could smell one cooking a mile away up wind. Even the slightest whiff would send the poor human running for the nearest privy. Therefore, rabbit had been all but banned form Rivendell until Estel felt better. Legolas understood, but he also thought it was a waste. After all it seemed like Estel would be ill anyway, why should the rest of them not enjoy rabbit?
When Legolas had thoughts like that he tended to feel very selfish, but he was nowhere near as mean as the twins. Elladan and Elrohir seemed to find no end of amusement poking fun at their younger sibling. One morning three weeks ago, they had played a very dirty trick on the Ranger and had to pay the price.
Estel had been up sick for the better part of the night. And though the Ranger had tried his best to be quiet, Legolas had known. His bed shared a wall with Estel's bathing room, so he heard every wretch and splat. Legolas would have gone to check on his friend, but the last time he had done that he nearly had his head chewed off. So Legolas had decided to let Elrond deal with Estel when he was ill. However, after a while Legolas decided he needed to go check on Estel, so he quietly entered the room and found the young human curled up on the cold stone floor of the bathroom dozing. He even had had a pillow with him. Legolas had woken Estel up to make sure the human was alright. Estel had groggily woken up.
"Legolas, is it time to get up yet?" Estel had sounded half asleep.
"No, I was just checking on you. Are you alright?"
"I guess. But I can go back to sleep for a while?" Estel had flipped his unbound hair out of his face and looked up blearily at Legolas. He could see down the front of Estel's sleeping shirt, and the view was very enticing. Legolas had been forced to crouch down on the floor to hide his erection from the Ranger.
"Yes, you can go back to sleep, my friend. But why are you sleeping in here and not in your bed? Surely the floor is most cold and uncomfortable?" Legolas had not been able to help himself, and he had pushed a stray lock of shiny mink coloured hair behind one of the Estel's ears.
"Because, it is not as far to walk." Legolas raised and eyebrow in question, a nasty habit he had picked up from the Lord of Imladris. "When I get sick, I don't have to walk from the bed in here, I just have to sit up." Estel was already lying back down to go back to sleep. Legolas saw the logic in it, even if he still thought the Ranger would sleep better in the bed, but he would not question him. Tomorrow he would have a chase lounge moved into Estel's washroom.
Legolas had stayed with Estel for another half hour before he went back to his own bed. He had hoped he would get some sleep, but a short time later, the Ranger was again ill, and Legolas again had to listen to it. Legolas had guessed maybe it was some weird penance for not being more careful when sleeping with his friend.
And so the night turned to morning and Legolas had not rested for than two hours together. But no matter how bad he had felt, Estel felt worse. Evidenced by his appearance at breakfast the next day. Legolas had been surprised the young man had even shown up, but then again Elrond had probably brow beaten him into attending. The front pieces of Estel's hair had been unevenly pulled back, his complexion had been so pale he had had a slightly greenish grey caste, the dark circles under his eyes had been so deep and large they looked like bruises, and he had moved with the slow deliberateness of one who feared he was about to drop.
Estel had slipped into his seat grumbling hellos at everyone while laying his head down on the his crossed arms. Elrond had let him stay that way until the food began arriving. To Legolas's surprise, the Ranger had actually dozed off. Estel had waived away all solid food and only took a cup of very weak tea. With every sip Estel had looked like he feared his tea was about to make an untimely reappearance. Lord Elrond had been quietly trying to convince Estel to eat something, when the twins had piped up.
"Ada, we had the cooks prepare something special for Estel for breakfast."
"Yes, we thought it would be easier for him to eat." Legolas could not tell them apart when they both sported those twin angel looks. Legolas had grown to be rather weary of that look.
"Thank you both, that was very kind of you. I shall have the cooks bring it directly, and you shall eat some of it, Estel." If Estel had felt half as miserable as he looked, Legolas felt for him.
"No, we shall go and get the food for our little brother." Both twins jumped up and ran towards the kitchen. Estel had slouched down in his chair with his eyes closed, his tea clenched weakly in one hand.
In no time the two twins were back with a large covered tray. They had placed it in front of Estel, who smiled at them, and then had removed the top. Inside had been a large shallow bowl containing lumpy blue oatmeal. The twins had used candy colouring to turn a normal dish of oatmeal a horrifying pale turquoise. Legolas had felt fine and even he found it repulsive. Estel's eyes had been as big as saucers as he had stared at the dish in front of him. Just as the twins had planned, the young human had raced into the washroom off of the dining room. Both Elladan and Elrohir had erupted in laughter, however, Lord Elrond had not amused.
Elrond had given both boys a dressing down the likes of which they had not had since they reached manhood. The Lord had then punished them into cleaning all of the windows around Imladris. The task would take them days if not weeks. And they had had to apologize to Estel. Estel oddly enough had not really been that angry about it, even though Legolas had been. Legolas had thought it was far more cruel than funny to intentionally make Estel ill, especially after he had been ill most of the night. Estel had just told him not to worry about it. The twins showed affection by playing tricks on people. He had actually been flattered, and he had been about to vomit anyway so it really didn't matter.
Regardless of what Estel said, Legolas still thought the twins should have been punished worse. They two had seen how bad Estel had felt, yet still played a trick on him. It was not as if the twins did not love their brother or worry for him. The two had been just as distressed as Legolas had been a few weeks ago when the four of them had gone on a hunting trip.
Estel had convinced Lord Elrond to let him go with his brothers and Legolas for an overnight hunting trip. Estel had been worried that the twins might actually hurt Legolas if they could get him alone in the woods. Not to mention he was tired of being cooped up inside so much. He had figured that he would feel much better once he got out into the fresh air and open spaces. And he had. For the entire morning Estel had felt almost normal, but as the afternoon crept on he had started to feel poorly again. And by early evening they had had to turn back and take Estel home because he had been too ill and tired to go any further. Legolas could still remember the concerned looks of brotherly love Elladan and Elrohir had worn. He could also clearly recall the embarrassed look Estel had had.
Legolas had used that as an opportunity to comfort Estel by hugging him. In a weird way Legolas almost wished for the times Estel was sick, so that he could comfort the young human. Estel would always look so grateful and beautiful. Often times he would allow Legolas to hold him while he cried or even brush the human's long beautiful hair. Legolas had discovered that Estel loved having his hair combed, and Legolas loved obliging him. But that was no more.
Legolas realized that he could not avoid thinking on his mistake any longer.
Flashback to he week before.
*****
Legolas had stood back and watched the human aim the bow. His stance had drastically improved and so had his aim. He would be as good as an elf if only he could see as far as an elf. Estel's hair was pulled back into several intricate braids that Legolas had put in there that morning, but even still the marvelous locks blew around the human distracting him. The wind had greatly picked up just as Estel had fired his last arrow. It had of course hit its mark, even in the high winds. Estel had turned to Legolas and flashed him a toothy grin.
"Well done, young one. Some day you may be as good as an a child in Mirkwood. You could enter the yearly school competition and maybe take home a medallion." Legolas smiled to lesson the harshness of his statement. Estel was still smiling. Legolas had been so thankful the young human had come to him and requested an archery lesson. He was surprised that Estel felt well enough, but he seemed to be fine.
Just as they had gone to collect the arrows a vicious spring rainstorm had popped up. It was a natural occurrence this time of year, and thankfully not spurred by Lord Elrond's rage. The two were drenched by the time they had made it to a small cave near one of the waterfalls. Legolas quickly started a fire to dry them out and keep them warm as they waited out the storm. Both had stripped down to shirts and leggings to allow their other clothes to dry by the fire. Legolas could not help noticing how Estel's skin glowed. It seemed so smooth and radiant he wanted to touch it. He almost reached out to skim his finger down the Ranger's cheek, but managed to stop himself.
Legolas could not help noticing other changes that the pregnancy had made to his friend. Estel had lost weight, which had made his cheekbones even more prominent making him look more elvin. His breasts were also larger and fuller than they had been before, and the nipples had darkened. Legolas could easily see them behind the thin wet fabric of Estel's white shirt. Estel did not notice the effect he was having on Legolas. The only thing Estel noticed was that he was starting to get chilly. Legolas noticed the young Ranger was shivering from the draft at the mouth of the cave. He beckoned Estel to come sit near him so that he could block the wind with his own body. Estel readily accepted, thinking nothing of it.
After Estel moved he felt warmer, but was still cold. His new body seemed to get cold much easier than his old one. Not thinking there was anything wrong with it, Estel cuddled up next to Legolas resting his head on the elf's shoulder. The two had spent many a night like that over the last two years and it seemed perfectly natural to Estel that they should still be able to.
Legolas on the other hand was having a hard time not playing with himself. Estel looked wonderful and smelled intoxicating. This was a very private and romantic place and all he wanted was to have the Ranger again. Before he could stop himself he reached out and ran his hand down Estel's jaw. Estel did not really react. Legolas then placed his long slender finger under Estel's jaw and tipped the Ranger's face up so that he could kiss him. Just as their lips connected, Estel pulled away. Legolas pulled the human back and kissed him anyway. Estel managed to struggle away.
"Stop it, Legolas, remember what happened the last time." Estel tried to infuse some humour into a very uncomfortable situation.
"Why, you enjoyed it the last time?" Legolas was not thinking anymore and again reached for the Ranger, catching him by the hair at the nape of his neck. Legolas again kissed Estel.
"Because I said to stop it. Please." Estel had pulled out of the elf's grip. He did not want Legolas to know how much he was secretly enjoying the blonde's touch.
"I could make you enjoy it, Estel." Legolas was almost salivating at the look of Estel. The Ranger had stood up near the back of the cave, his wet shirt clung to all of the right places and he could feel his erection throbbing against his leggings. However, Estel had begun to shake with more than cold. He was well aware that Legolas could in fact make him do just about anything he wanted, especially since his new body was smaller and weaker. He could feel cold fear settle in his stomach as he looked at the wolfish expression in his friend's eyes. He would have run, but Legolas stood between him and the door.
"Please, I don't want to." Estel tried not to sound nearly as frightened as he felt. Legolas advanced on him and Estel realized just how trapped he was. He didn't want to fight the elf, but he didn't want to have sex with him either.
"Why not, I promise you will like it." Legolas's voice was low and soft against Estel's neck. Estel could feel himself shaking all over. Legolas assumed it was passion.
"Because you are scaring me, Legolas. Please stop." Estel was on the verge of tears. He wanted to make Legolas happy, but he was afraid. However, his words had finally seemed to gain Legolas's attention. The elf realized that Estel shook with fear and not passion. Legolas had jumped back and stared at the frightened human. He had never meant to frighten his friend. He loved Estel with all of his heart and never wanted to hurt him. He hated himself more than he ever thought possible as he looked at the way Estel kept staring at the ground and at the entrance to the cave.
"I am so sorry, Estel." Legolas whispered before he ran out of the cave and into the rain. Legolas had made a huge mistake. Estel yelled for him to wait, but Legolas ignored him. Estel realized he would never catch the elf, so he sat back down and waited out he storm, wondering what he had done wrong to make Legolas act that way. What Legolas did not know, was that much of Estel's fear was in how much he wanted Legolas to keep going.
End Flashback
*****
Ever since that incident, Estel had not allowed himself to be alone with Legolas. If Legolas got too close to the human Estel would look frightened and Legolas's heart would break. The one or two times he had tried to touch the Ranger, Estel had flinched away from his hand. Legolas wanted to cry. Estel was the one and only person here who did not hate him, but now he did. He just wished he could explain to Estel how much he loved the human and how he would never, ever hurt him. But Estel would not let him.
Legolas looked at the clock on the wall and realized it was time for the two of them to get ready for dinner. Lord Celeborn was here for a one-day visit, and both of them were expected at a stately dinner. Legolas slowly walked over to the napping human and wondered how to wake him without actually touching him. Legolas briefly thought about running to find someone else to wake Estel, then realized that was ridiculous. The two of them were having a child together, they would need to learn to be in the same room together.
"Estel" Legolas whispered the human's name hoping to not startle him. There was no response.
"Estel, it is time to wake up and get ready for dinner." Legolas spoke louder this time, still Estel snoozed on in his sunbeam. Legolas now had no choice but to touch the human to get his attention. He reached out one slender hand and brushed it across Estel's cheek. The human leaned into the touch and almost purred in pleasure. Legolas wanted to bend down and fully wake his love with kisses, but managed to stop himself. Instead he ran his fingers over Estel's hair and called the his name. "Estel."
Estel finally woke up and realized, with a shock, who was waking him, how he was waking him, and how he had liked the way it felt. The human bolted upright and scooted into the corner of the window chase as far away from Legolas as he could get. Legolas tried to hide the hurt he was feeling when he saw his best friend pull away from him.
"What do you want?" Estel's voice sounded deep and husky from sleep. He glared at the elf until Legolas dropped his eyes to the floor.
"To wake you. It is time to get ready for dinner." Legolas turned to leave with hunched shoulders. He wanted to go back to his room and curl up and cry. Elladan had been right, Estel would never love him and never permit Legolas to share his bed again. "Am I truly that horrifying to you?" Legolas had not meant to say the words and had no intention of sticking around for the response. However, if he had he would have seen how Estel looked saddened and ashamed of the way he had treated the elf. He would have also seen that the human had reached a hand out to him in an attempt to get him to stay, but instead he had turned and all but ran from the room.
"Stupid, self-centered, love struck, ninny of a tree-hugging elf." Legolas berated himself as he sped down the hall. He could not believe he had said something so pathetic and so ridiculous. He did not want Estel's sympathy, he wanted his respect and his love. Now he would get neither because he could not keep his mouth shut.
Legolas had not been looking where he was going and ran straight into Elladan. The older twin immediately recognized there was something bothering the woodland prince. "What troubles you?" Legolas briefly thought about lying, then realized there was no reason to.
"Estel. He hates me and I said something so stupid and pathetic to him that he no doubt hates me even more." Legolas sighed.
"I don't think he hates you, I just think he does not feel the same way about you that you feel about him." Elladan had lead Legolas into his bedroom and closed the door behind them for privacy. "In fact, I was quite jealous when you and Estel became friends because you diverted his attention away from Elrohir and I. After he met you he no longer thought we were the greatest at everything." Elladan gave a wry chuckle and he ran his hand in soothing circles on Legolas's back.
Legolas knew what was coming, but he really didn't care. Why shouldn't he enjoy himself with Elladan? Estel didn't want him and there was no reason for him to stay celibate. What difference did it make if he only was using Elladan as a replacement for Estel? Elladan only ever used him as a replacement for Glorfindel. Both of the princes were saddled with crushes where the other did not return their affection. So where was the harm? Elladan was certainly better than his hand and the two had been lovers for years. Legolas gave into Elladan and the two quickly pleasured each other with the promise of better after dinner.