Lord Elrond returned to Erestor sitting in his study waiting for him. He
guessed that the other elf wanted to make up for lost time by going over
some account or other and he sighed. He never had wanted to be a leader.
He was much happier being a standard bearer.
"Lord Elrond. Is Estel doing better?" Erestor said by way of a greeting.
"I have not seen him. Why do you ask?"
"I ran into him earlier today, and he was rather unwell."
"Unwell how?"
"He vomited in the courtyard and looked like he had been crying. I could see blood on his hands and on his pants. I normally would not have said anything, but he did not seem at all himself."
"Thank you, I will go check on him directly." Elrond left his study to go and see Estel. Elrond feared the worst when he heard Erestor say he saw blood on his child's pants. Estel was loosing his baby. He had let on to no one but Glorfindel just how real of a possibility that miscarriage still was. Normally the risk dropped dramatically after the first three to four months, but Estel was so weak and malnourished and his daughter needed so much to survive, there was every chance that the human would not be strong enough to keep the elvin child alive. Elrond prayed that it wasn't so.
Elrond reached the room and gently knocked on the door. Estel bade him to enter and he did. He half expected to see the human atop a blood covered bed writhing in pain, instead he saw Estel sitting on the window seat with his legs tucked under him hugging a pillow. There were tears drying on his pale face. Elrond immediately went to him.
"What is troubling you? Erestor said you were unwell." Elrond crouched beside him trying to discern what was troubling his child and where the blood had come from.
"I threw up in the courtyard." Estel would not meet his gaze.
"That does not explain why you are crying." Elrond wiped away a tear that had slipped from his child's eye.
"I am just tired and worried about things." Estel was intentionally vague.
"What things, sweetheart?"
"Just what is going to happen after she is born." Estel ran his hand down his tummy and Elrond saw that he hands were sliced up and still oozing in places.
"Try not to worry about that right now. You need to worry more about staying healthy. It is almost time for dinner. You should get ready." Elrond hoped giving Estel something else to do would make him forget about the future for now.
"I don't want to go to dinner. I feel nauseous." That was not a lie. He had thrown up two more times since he had gotten back to his room.
"Ok, you can stay up here and rest. However, let me see your hands." Elrond sat down on the window seat opposite his son and took one hand in his own.
"It is nothing. Just scratches." Estel looked away. For some reason he was having a hard time looking at the cuts. They made him feel queasy every time he did.
"These are not simply scratches, Estel. Why haven't you cleaned them out? You cannot risk getting an infection now. Do you have any idea what that could do to your daughter?" Elrond stopped talking as soon as he sensed what his words were doing to Estel. The human had started crying again and Elrond could feel self-hatred radiating off him like heat from a fire.
"I'm sorry, Ada. I didn't mean to. I can't do anything right." Estel whimpered. He tried to pull his hand away, but instead Elrond pulled him forward into a warm embrace.
"Do not cry, child. I am not angry with you. I am just concerned. It is unlike you to run off so quickly and to leave wounds untended for so long. I only want to see you happy and well." Elrond soothed his son as he cried. Elrond could sense that something had truly upset his child, but he couldn't tell what it was without probing farther than politeness dictated.
"I tried to clean and bandage them, but looking at them made me sick." Estel sniffled.
"I see, well I will tend them for you." The elf lord cleaned the wounds and bound them neatly causing as little discomfort to Estel as possible. Estel also showed Elrond his knees and the half elf fixed them as well. He supposed that the knee wounds could have accounted for the blood Erestor said was on Estel's pants. He wished his advisor had been more specific. It would have saved him several very unpleasant moments of worry.
When he was finished he rose and gave Estel a quick hug. To his surprise, Estel clung to him like he was a life saver.
"I love you, Ada. Thank you for taking the day off to have a picnic for me." Estel felt tears glisten in his eyes again, but this time for a different reason.
"You are welcome, my child. I love you too. Now get some rest."
After Elrond left, Estel crawled into bed and fell into an exhausted sleep.
Estel woke several hours later, after midnight. He was hungry, thirsty, and had to use the privy. One problem was easily solved. When he was finished in the privy he sat back down in bed. He still felt tired and wished he could go back to sleep, but his stomach again prevented it. He was hungry almost to the point of nausea and he hated that feeling. He knew if he didn't eat something now, he would probably be sick all day tomorrow, but he didn't want to get out of bed.
Unhappy at the prospect of spending the next twenty-four hours lying in bed too hungry to sleep but to sick to eat, he rose and headed for the kitchen. But this time he remembered socks.
When he reached the entrance to the kitchen it was all-quiet. He stood at the door uncertain of whether he would be able to enter. He had done this several times and each time felt more foolish than the last. Usually he was saved by one of the staff showing up and getting him something to eat. But he could hear no one moving about. But luck, or rather a very loving father, was on his side. Estel noticed a covered tray sitting on the sideboard. There was a note on it with his name. It read: "Estel, I thought you might get hungry later so I had the chef leave this for you. Love El." Estel put down the note and uncovered the tray. Under it there was peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk on ice. Estel felt self- doubt surface regarding whether he could ever be as good of a parent as his father.
However, Estel decided that he could eat and ponder at the same time. It was a beautiful night, so he decided to head for the closest terrace to sit outside and eat. As soon as he stepped outside, He heard a voice that had haunted his dreams for the last several hours. Behind Estel stood Thranduil holding a bottle of brandy and swaying slightly on his feet.
"So little pet, too good to eat with the rest of us." Thranduil slurred. Estel was so startled he dropped his glass of milk with a loud crash.
Before Estel could even answer, the king moved closer and backed Estel up against he railing for the terrace. There was nowhere for him to go because they were at least a hundred feet above the river below.
Thranduil reached an unsteady hand out and stroked Estel's hair. Estel stared at him wide eyed with fear. He was so scared he could barely think. "I see what my son likes about you, whore." He looked appreciatively at Estel's rather less than opaque pajamas. Thranduil reached out and took the plate from the Ranger and set it on the railing. "How do you pleasure my son?" Thranduil asked, skimming a hand over Estel's breast.
Estel tried to move to the side, but the king grabbed his hair and pulled him in for a brandy soaked kiss. Estel tried to push him away, but the royal elf was far stronger and had more leverage. Estel was reminded of the fear he felt the first time he was alone in the cave with Legolas. The fear that a stronger man would force him to do something he didn't want to do. But his fear of Thranduil was far worse.
Thranduil yanked Estel's hair and forced him onto his knees in front of the king. "Do you pleasure him like this?" Thranduil mumbled. But before he could force the issue any further he noticed there was sword at his throat. It was long and slightly curved of the sort favoured by the Vanyar elves. He could see ancient Quenya engraved on the blade. There was no doubt in his mind whom the sword belonged to, even before he heard the voice.
"And what do you think you are doing?" Glorfindel's voice was lethally soft.
"Stay out of this. The young one is none of your concern." Thranduil slowly turned to face the golden-haired elf. The companion to the blade at his throat still rested at the elf's hip. For all that Thranduil absolutely hated Glorfindel, he had to admit it was a thing of beauty to watch the Eldar fight. Few, even among the elves, had the dexterity to fight with double sabers.
"That is where you are wrong. He is my concern." Glorfindel called to Estel. "Come Estel, I think we should go inside." Estel scurried around the king and hid behind the brightly glowing elf.
"He is not truly of this house. Or have you forgotten that the twins brought him back a bastard to keep your lord from going crazy with grief after he was unable to save his wife." Thranduil spit the hateful words.
"I protect the line of kings, and Estel is descended from that line. But more than that I have watched him grow from a babe into a person far more worthy of respect than you." Glorfindel lowered his sword but did not sheath it. "Now I suggest you seek your bed before you do anything else you might regret." He turned to leave pushing a very shaken Estel before him. But he turned and said. "And if you ever lay a finger on him again, I will send Legolas back to Mirkwood as king." With that he left a very angry king fuming on the terrace.
Glorfindel led Estel back to the private dining room and sat him down, slowly checking to make sure the human was unhurt. From what he could tell, Estel only seemed shaken.
"Well, what are you doing up so late, pup?" Glorfindel smiled at the frightened Ranger.
"I was hungry. I dropped my glass of milk on the terrace. I need to clean it up." Estel stood up, but the blond pushed him back down.
"Don't worry I will clean it up later. What would you like to eat?" He tried to seem light even though he was seething with rage. He would have to be careful or his ire would wake Elrond. If he had learned one thing over the last several thousand years, it was that his charge was excessively psychically sensitive.
"Ada made a sandwich for me, but I left it outside."
"I shall make you another, wait here." Glorfindel went to the kitchen to quickly fix another sandwich and glass of milk for the human. He allowed the door to remain open so Estel knew he was still there. Estel appreciated the gesture. Till his dying day, he would never feel as safe as when he had Glorfindel around. Thranduil had called him "guard dog" but in a way it was true. There was something about having one of history's best fighters watching over you. Especially when the sole reason for his existence, was to assure your safety. He felt himself relax a bit.
Glorfindel soon returned bearing a sandwich and a glass of cold milk along with a plate of cookies. Estel accepted them with a quiet thank you. Glorfindel did not like the way Estel seemed to have pulled into himself. He missed the witty Estel he had grown to love.
"You do not have to worry, my friend, not even Thranduil is stupid enough to bother you again tonight." Glorfindel spoke as he munched on cookies, sharing them with his dog, who had quietly padded into the dining room and taken up residence beside his master.
"I know." Estel mumbled. Now that it was all over he was mortified. "Glor, will promise not to tell anyone what happened?"
"Why?"
"I just don't want anyone to know." They would all think it was his fault. It probably was, but he wasn't sure how. He felt very bad about himself and it was getting worse.
"There is nothing to be ashamed of, little one, you did nothing wrong." Estel was irrationally annoyed that Glorfindel seemed to know exactly why he was upset and had called him 'little one.' He hated when he was reminded how much younger, smaller, and weaker he was than the elves. But he guessed that when you were born when the trees of Valinor still shone brightly he wouldn't take it as an insult.
"I know, I still don't want anyone to know. I don't want him and Ada getting into another fight." Estel picked at his sandwich. He really wasn't hungry anymore.
"Very well. I will tell no one about it if you promise not to tell your father that I let my dog into the dining room. Now eat."
Estel ate a few small bites of his sandwich. Glorfindel had mixed strawberry jam in with the peanut butter and Estel suddenly remembered his hunger. After he had finished about half of the sandwich, he turned to the elf lord across from him who was cooing at his dog. "Why does Thranduil hate Ada so much?"
"Take your pick of reasons. Your father is a horrible elf with no redeeming qualities." Glorfindel smiled as he teased the Ranger. There was a point in time, when he and Elrond had first met, that he would have said that and meant it. He feared for the sanity of the Valar in sending him to protect a quiet, introspective, genius with sad grey eyes. The two had had nothing in common and got on each other's nerves. Elrond could not stand Glorfindel's constant energy and impulsive need for action. Glorfindel hated the way Elrond chose to think everything into circles until it was too late to do anything about it. The blonde joked and teased merrily, while the raven-haired half elf took everything personally and saw all failures as his fault. But eventually Glorfindel realized that Elrond's silence was the result of his natural shyness and a learned reticence around unfamiliar elves, especially those related to Feanor no matter how distantly. And Elrond learned that Glorfindel's jokes were only meant to make him laugh and smile, not hurt his feelings. But now they were best friends, closer than brothers or lovers. Elrond's children knew that loosing Gil-Galad had wounded is heart, loosing Elros had damaged his soul, and loosing Celebrian had made him bleed; but loosing Glorfindel would shatter him
"Seriously."
"There are a lot of reasons. Thranduil's never liked half elves. Not to mention he was angry that Gil-Galad had made a penniless half elf his standard bearer and later his heir. He thought he should be given Vilya because he ruled a kingdom of elves, not a valley of refugees. He even appealed to the Counsel of Elders to have Vilya given to him."
"What happened?" Estel was enjoying the story.
"They said no. Who better to wield a mystical magic ring than one descended from an escaped maian and kings, who has held a Silarillion, and whose father turned into a star. Thranduil had been livid.
"Add to that the fact that Thranduil was supposed to marry Celebrian, but she fell in love with Elrond." There was far more going on to that story than Glorfindel wanted to get into right now. "Then of course when he did marry, Elrond did not attend his wedding. Elrond had twin sons and a daughter and Thranduil's wife gave him only one son. Thranduil's rage at Elrond was so great that when Elrond foresaw that death of Thranduil's wife in childbirth, the king refused his aid. Then when she did die he blamed Elrond for not coming and saving her.
"Thranduil has always been angry that Celeborn likes Elrond better than him even though he and my dear cousin, Galadriel's, silver haired stallion are more closely related. Throw me into that mix and there is no way in Arda that those two will ever like each other."
"So basically Thranduil is jealous of Ada?"
"Yup. He thinks he deserves the respect that Elrond gets, only he never earned it. It is a wonder that Legolas turned out half has good as he did. My guess would be his mother's and Celeborn's influence."
"Yeah, Legolas told me he often spent time with Celeborn when he was young."
"Not surprising. You wouldn't be able to tell by looking, but the silver- tail lord is the consummate mother hen. He takes in every stray child he can find. You know he helped raise your father's mother and grandmother?" Glorfindel waited for Estel to answer, but Estel's eyes were wide with worry. "Estel, is something wrong?" All of the colour had drained out of Estel's face.
"Yes." Estel started to nervously look around.
"What? Should I get your father?" Glorfindel thought perhaps the young human was ill or in pain. Estel's teeth were starting to chatter and he was hugging himself.
"Yes."
Glorfindel sent an urgent mental message to Elrond that he was needed then the crossed the table and knelt in front of Estel. "What is the matter, Estel?"
"Something is wrong. I don't know what."
"Where does it hurt?"
"Not me. Something else." Estel shook his head trying to make sense of the sudden fear, self-loathing, and love that washed over him.
"Estel, you aren't making any sense." Before the blonde could question him any further the human looked up with frightened eyes.
"Legolas." Was all Estel said before he jumped past Glorfindel and sped towards the prince's room. The golden-haired elf was hot on his heels.
When they rounded the corner, Estel pushed open Legolas's door and found his best friend on the floor being kicked by his father. He could see that the prince's lip was spit and so was his cheek. Blood also poured freely from a cut by his hairline. Estel immediately entered and got in between the king and Legolas.
"Leave him alone." All the fear forgotten in seeing his friend injured.
"Get out of my way you meddlesome babe." Thranduil attempted to knock Estel aside, but did not account for the human's training and found a well- placed kick knocking him to his knees. However this only fueled his anger and he rose knocking the human to side with a strong swipe. Estel flew back connected with the wardrobe even as his hand went through the window leaving long angry gashes along his hand and forearm.
With Estel out of the way, Thranduil turned back to his son who had now made it to a sitting position. He grabbed his brandy bottle and smashed it against Legolas's head. The prince's hair mostly protected him from receiving any cuts, but the blow still hurt. All the while the king yelled mean and hurtful things at his son.
By this point Glorfindel arrived and charged into the room engaging Thranduil to protect Legolas. The Vanyar could contain his anger no longer and was not gentle with the king. Thranduil fought like a wild man, but was no match for Glorfindel.
Glorfindel had the king pinned when Thranduil spoke again. "You have no place here. Your protection may extend to Elrond's pet human, but you have no place interfering in the discipline of my child." By Elvish law, Legolas was still under the control of his father's house so really no one could interfere.
"This is not discipline, it is abuse." Glorfindel did not move.
"That is not your decision. Now let me up." In the background Thranduil could hear angry growling that sent a shiver up his spine.
Caught between a rock and a hard place Glorfindel had no choice but to let Thranduil go. The king rose and walked over to his son. "How dare you call them for help." He roared and backhanded Legolas.
Glorfindel was about to intercede again when they all heard. "Halt." The Lord of the Imladris had arrived and he was not happy. Elrond surveyed the scene with his own eyes. He knew what had happed from Glorfindel, but he still could not believe it. "What is going on here?"
"Get out mongrel. You have no place here." Thranduil spat.
"This is my home, Thranduil, my place." The two great elves locked eyes and it seemed violence would break out and this time Estel had no desire to stop it.
However, Legolas did. "Adar, please."
Thranduil turned to is son and glared. How dare he interrupt when he was not wanted? "Shut up." He lifted his hand to smack his son again. But he was stopped by as strange feeling. Like his stomach flying into his throat from a fall, and spinning until he was dizzy. He looked up at Elrond just before the half elf summoned a wave of force that threw him backwards. Thranduil connected with the wall, hard, just about the same time every window on the entire hall broke. To everyone else, the power of Vilya channeled through Elrond's anger felt like being hit with hurricane force winds that did not try to move you or being dropped 50 feet under water where the pressure made you feel like your ears would explode and your eyes would pop from your head. It took your breath away and made your heart pound.
Thranduil picked himself up off the floor shakily. Every bone in his body hurt, but he was enraged. Elrond stood looking at him with one eyebrow cocked, not a hair out of place. Thranduil charged the half elf. He however, never made it. Glorfindel quickly caught the king and put him in a choke hold until he lost consciousness. He dropped the drunk elf into a pile on the floor.
Glorfindel immediately went to Estel to check over his wounds. The cuts on his hands and arms were long and jagged, but not deep. They would need stitching, but were not life threatening. Elrond went to check on Legolas, but the prince pushed him out of the way to get to his father.
"Lord Elrond, is he ok?" Legolas was nearly panicked.
"Yes, he is fine. Glor simply knocked him out cold. He will wake in the morning. I am more worried about you." Elrond again tried to reach for the prince, but Legolas pushed him away a second time.
"Help me get him into bed." Legolas was attempting to move the king, but it was akin to trying to move a 170-pound sleeping cat. Elrond relented and helped, hoping then Legolas would let him tend his injuries.
When Thranduil was deposited on the bed, Legolas began to brush back his hair and whisper his apologies for being a bad son. Elrond felt sick.
"Legolas, are you all right?" Estel came over and brushed Legolas's hair back from his forehead to expose a nasty looking gash that was already purpling. Estel could remember first hand how hard the elf king could hit.
"You don't understand. He isn't normally like this. He is just upset about something. I did something to upset him." Legolas fought against his hysteria. He had to make them understand.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Legolas. You didn't deserve this." Estel tried to calm his friend down. Glorfindel realized that this was the same conversation he had had with the human earlier.
"Please go. Leave us alone." Legolas refused to meet anyone's eyes. Estel was sure that his father would insist that someone stay, but Elrond ushered him out.
"Ada, we can't leave them alone. What if he wakes up and attacks Legolas again?"
"He won't. Glorfindel and a large amount of brandy made sure of that. They need to be alone with each other. Nothing you do or say will make a difference until everyone cools down. Now go to your room and I will get some silk to stitch your hand." Elrond brooked no refusal, so Estel went to his room.
Elrond and Glorfindel walked towards the infirmary. "You are in so much trouble, my friend." Glorfindel said with laughing eyes.
"Why, because I interrupted a family dispute? You know damn well the Elders will not reprimand me."
"I know. When children are involved is the only time Celeborn develops a modicum of a backbone. Most definitely if he knows them personally."
"Why do you pick on him so? Do you really did like your cousin's husband that much?"
"No. I just like busting his balls. That is when my dear cousin will remove them from the pouch on her waist for others to play with." Glorfindel laughed and strangely enough Elrond joined in. Few knew better than the two of them just how forceful Galadriel could be and just how compliant Celeborn had had to be.
Finally Glorfindel stopped laughing, but mirth still shone in his bright blue eyes. "Actually, I was referring to you being in trouble with Erestor."
"Erestor, why?"
"You remember how upset he was the last time you broke the windows?" Glorfindel referred to a little outburst Elrond had had after Celebrian had sailed, which had left every window in Imladris shattered.
"One set of windows. It wasn't that bad."
"Do you realize there are over a thousand windows in this place? Erestor will not be happy having to replace the ones you broke."
"This is my house. I can break the windows if I want."
"Fine, you deal with his lecture. I swear, listening to him is like my atar came over from Valinor." Elrond laughed at the fake shudder Glorfindel gave. The blonde elf felt bad for poking fun at his fellow counselor when he was not here to defend himself, but it was worth it to make Elrond smile.
Elrond soon returned to his child's room with the proper supplies. Estel again sat on the window seat looking out at the night sky. For the second time in twenty-four hours Elrond set about cleaning Estel's wounded hand.
"I am sorry, but I cannot give you anything for pain. It is not safe for your daughter." Elrond apologized when his son winced from the ministrations.
"That's ok." Estel sat quietly for a while until he finally asked the question that was burning in his mind. "Ada, why did he do it?"
Elrond sighed, but continued working. He hoped talking would help distract Estel from the pain. "I don't really know. Thranduil has always been somewhat unstable. He has gotten much worse since the death of his queen, but I had not realized that it had gotten to this point. I suppose that he is just hurting so much that he wants someone else to hurt too." Elrond could understand that feeling. After Celebrian had sailed he had lashed out had anyone and everyone who came near him. Finally Glorfindel had gotten so tired of having goblets and plates thrown at him that he forced Elrond to go on a year long orc hunting trip with him. It had been very cathartic to hack and slash his way through hundreds of orcs. Yes, he could well appreciate how Thranduil felt, but he could never fathom turning against one of his own children.
"Not Thranduil, Legolas. Why would he let his father do that to him? He is an excellent fighter, he could have easily stopped Thranduil without really hurting him if he had wanted to, but he didn't."
That was an even harder question. One Elrond was thankful Estel could not understand the answer to. "For better or for worse, Thranduil is his all of the family Legolas has left. Perhaps Legolas is just trying to make his father happy." Elrond closed his eyes against a very painful rush of memories that he would rather forget.
"Will Legolas be ok?"
"Yes, I will look after his injuries as soon as I am finished with you." Elrond tied the last bandage as he spoke and smiled at Estel. His child's furrowed brow finally relaxed now that here wasn't a needle going in and out of his skin. Elrond collected his things to go.
"Ada." Elrond stopped at the door. "Do you think, I mean." Estel stuttered and looked down but Elrond just stared at him waiting for the actual question. "Will Legolas treat our daughter that way?" Estel finally asked. He felt awful for even thinking it, but he had to know. He would never willingly put his daughter in the hands of someone who would hurt her. He would die first.
"I can't answer that. But look at what you know of him and look into his heart to find the answer." Elrond left. Estel hated when he gave those cryptic answers.
Elrond walked to the next room and bent down to pet the large dog sitting before it. "I see Glor has left his eyes and ears to guard the door." The dog wagged its plumed tail and looked up at Elrond. Making sure no one was looking, he bent down and hugged the dog and the dog gave him a good licking. Elrond smiled and ruffled the beast's coat. "Now, you know you are not suppose to be in this part of the house. All is well, so go find your master." The animal just doggy smiled up at him. "Go, find Glorfindel." The dog gave Elrond a paw to shake. The half elf sighed. "Would that I had that Vanyar's gift." Elrond mumbled, sending a silent mental message to his best friend. "Glor, get your dog. He is shedding all over my rugs."
"Sure thing," Glorfindel sent back. Elrond saw the dog's head snap up and then it trotted off towards the blonde's chamber. "And I know that you hugged him." Glorfindel sent back merrily. Elrond just pinched the bridge of his nose. Sometimes he didn't know why he even bothered getting out of bed in the morning.
Elrond quietly pushed the door open and found Legolas sitting on the edge of the bed brushing his father's hair back from his face. Given the care the prince was showing, one would think Thranduil was a small babe. Elrond could hear Legolas whispering words of love and strength to his father. He barely looked up when Elrond walked in and took a chair across from him.
Finally Legolas looked over at the elflord. Elrond watched him with unwaivering eyes. "Have you come to judge us?" Legolas did have to admit, that sometimes many of the Noldor elves tended to be very judgmental. They looked down their noses at their woodland brethren, but Elrond had never really struck him as that type. After all, the half elf had married a half wood elf.
"No, I came to check on you."
"I am fine, and so is he. We just need to be alone."
"Are you really fine?"
"Yes."
"I do not think so. I think that you are troubled and hurting." Elrond spoke offhandedly as if he were discussing the weather.
"What would you know of it, Elrond? You are wise, but you do not know everything. You could not understand what I feel unless you pulled it from my mind with your mental tricks." Legolas, like his father and most sylvan elves, with the exception of Celeborn, had no real psychic powers. He could not read minds or summon rains, or even talk to animals. Their gifts allowed them to speak with trees and understand the language of the winds. But still, he was a poor example of an elf compared to the one who sat across from him.
"I don't need to read your mind to know what you feel. I understand better than you think, young one."
Legolas looked up suddenly understanding what the half elf was telling him. "Who?"
Elrond leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. The memories came again. He could clearly see the tall redhead frowning at him and the slightly shorter auburn haired elf trying to quiet Elros. As always any time he thought of his beloved brother the memories brought both pleasure and pain. Elrond spoke only one word. "Meadhros." Legolas looked confused. Elrond gave him a soft smile and continued. He could read from the prince's mind that he saw no similarities between his father and the eldest son of Feanor. "History remembers only what it wants to. History tell us that the son's of Feanor killed and pillaged across Middle Earth seeking the Silmiarilion. That they sacked and destroyed Sirion and forced my mother to jump into the sea to protect it. All of this is true. But what history doesn't tell us, is that Meadhros and Maglor were both good elves in their own way. During the years Elros and I lived with them, they taught us both many things. Meadhros taught us how to fight with daggers and how to track, while Maglor taught us how to sing and to use a bow. Meadhros taught me how to read. I remember sitting for hours in his lap at Himring while he read stories to me or I read them to him.
"Sometimes they were so kind that I almost forgot about what they had done. Other times, like when Meadhros got angry, I would remember. He had a temper. If you crossed him when his mood was black, you took a beating. He would always apologize for it afterwards and say how much he cared about his little half elvin foundlings, but the bruises still hurt and I still wondered what I had done so wrong to cause him to raise a hand to me. He hurt me and he made me doubt myself, but yet I still loved them both. They are the most despicable elves in all of history, but I still loved them.
"After we moved in with Gil-Galad, I half expected the same treatment from the king or Cirdan. But eventually both Elros and I learned, that we were not the ones who had made the mistake, it was Meadhros who had done wrong." Elrond noticed that Legolas had his head in is hands and his shoulder's were shaking. The half elf leaned forward and gathered the prince in a fatherly embrace and Legolas took full advantage of it. It had been years since he had been held like this and he missed it. Elrond realized in that moment that he felt no ire towards the young elf anymore. The lord would be happy to accept the prince into his family.
"He doesn't do this very often. It has been years since the last time. He only acts like this when he gets drunk. He would never hurt me otherwise. He loves me. I know he does. He still calls me his little Greenleaf." Legolas babbled.
"I know, young one. He does love you very much and I know he does not mean to hurt you so." After a while the crying subsided and Elrond spoke again. "Now, let me tend your wounds or I shall be hanged by Estel for letting you suffer." Elrond smiled and Legolas gave him a tentative smile in return.
The next two weeks passed much as the one before. Estel's belly grew larger, but his mood grew darker. Legolas could hear him crying at night in his room. He ate little and slept little and all in the house save one worried for him. The young human did not laugh or smile and resembled the walking dead. His face was always pale and his eyes always tired and circled. More often than not he refused to take meals with his family and when he did he asked to be excused at the earliest he could.
Thranduil was the only one who did not seem concerned about the young human. He enjoyed watching the spirit drain from the annoying little whelp. He had, in fact, made sure to continue their lessons about Mirkwood so that he could watch his handy work. He never missed an opportunity to remind the stupid child that the baby would be taken to his realm and he would never see her again. He had also gone out of his way to make sure his son was busy so that he had no time to spend with the human. He did his best to isolate Estel from those who cared about him. However he could not keep the meddling lord of Imladris away from Estel. He did enjoy watching the implacable Lord Elrond grow more and more snappy the more worried he became for Estel. Which of course, as Thranduil pointed out to the Ranger, was all his fault.
It was a brilliant plan. Even now as he watched Estel reading in the corner, he could see how tired and depressed the human was. Thranduil smiled to himself. He gave it a less than a month before the human miscarried. He could only imagine how painful it would be since the human was around 28 weeks along. He hoped he got to see it.
The only real dark cloud was Legolas. Thranduil knew that his son was looking forward to being a father and that the prince was hurt by Estel's unhappiness. However, Thranduil considered it a small price to pay. That was why he had devised with Elrond to have Legolas, his twins, and a few others go to Bree to see if there was any word from Gandalf. They would leave tomorrow morning.
It was almost lunchtime, so he would dismiss the human with a few parting words. "It is time for lunch, you should go." Estel closed his book and rose, but then he stumbled putting his hand over his stomach. He looked down with a very worried expression. Thranduil licked his lips, maybe this was it. "Are you well, youngling?"
Estel looked up at him confused. "I don't know. I feel something strange. Like someone blinking their eyelashes against the inside of my stomach." This was not what Thranduil had hoped. He marched over and put a hand roughly against Estel's belly. His sensitive fingers could just barely feel the butterfly movements of his granddaughter.
"Don't be so dramatic. It is just the child moving around." Thranduil said in a disgusted tone. He had hoped the human was loosing her. But instead he annoyingly felt his heart soften at the feel of her moving against his fingers.
"Really?" Estel looked up with a dazed smile on his face.
Thranduil had to fight to not smile back. "Yes, my new daughter is making her presence known." Thranduil did smile when he saw Estel's face fall. "Now, go to lunch." Estel scurried out before the king could see his tears.
The chef's had made a delicious yogurt parfait for lunch with berries and crunchy grains. Estel loved them, but right now he could do nothing more than mix it around in his bowl. The past two weeks he had been unable to think of anything but Thranduil's words. The king would take his daughter from him and he would never see her again. And almost as upsetting, Legolas didn't care about him. Legolas would leave him all alone too. He felt like he wanted to throw up.
Estel pushed his bowl away and turned to his father. "Ada." He began before he heard Thranduil's growl. The king disliked a human calling an elf, even a half elf, father. "Lord Elrond, may I be excused?"
Elrond looked at his child. Estel's shoulders were hunched and he hung his head. He could feel depression radiating off of him so strong he could barely block it out. "Estel, you didn't eat any breakfast and only picked at your dinner last night. I think you should try and eat something, even if you are not really hungry." Elrond's voice was kind as he pushed the bowl back towards Estel.
Estel looked down dejectedly at the dish as he stirred his yogurt around. He didn't want to eat it. He felt like there were rocks in his stomach.
"Estel, please eat it. How am I to teach my little girl archery if her bones are not strong enough to hold a bow?" Legolas implored.
"Teach her archery in Mirkwood, where I can never see her." Estel thought. He hung his head so his hair would hide his face as he felt tears slide out of his eyes. Only Elrond and Legolas saw the two tears fall onto Estel's hands where they lay clasped in his lap.
Legolas looked up at Elrond helplessly. He didn't understand what was bothering Estel. He could feel that the human was very upset about something, but he didn't know what. Not for the first time he cursed not having Noldor blood so that he could read minds. It was true that they had a bond, but Estel's human blood meant that they could only really feel each other's emotions.
Elrond finally took pity on Estel. "You may go." Estel just shook his head and walked quickly from the room. He kept his face hidden behind his hair until he got outside. When he made it outside he walked as fast as he could to the waterfalls where he could be alone.
He sat there until the sun started to go down and the temperature dropped. Fall was upon them and the nights were growing cold. Estel had not brought a cloak with him and shivered in the wind. But he was not ready to go back yet. He was tired of everyone's concern even as he feared that he would not have it. He was confused.
As he shivered and watched the stars begin to twinkle he felt a cloak draped over his shoulders. He looked up into the grey eyes of Lord Elrond. He hadn't even heard him approaching; he had been so lost in thought.
The half elf sat down on the boulder beside his son. "A little chilly for star gazing isn't it?" Estel nodded and pulled the cloak around himself. He was thankful for the warmth. "What troubles you, my child?" Elrond too looked up at the stars watching his father set out on his journey across the sky. He felt Estel shudder beside him. He tried a different tactic. "This very spot is one of the reasons I choose to make this valley my home."
"Glorfindel said it was in our blood to seek water when upset." Estel finally murmured. His voice was nasal from crying.
"I suppose in a way he is right. I find great piece in listening to the sound of rushing water. That is why my bedroom faces this way. So I can hear the river's song as I sleep. Of course it drove my dear lady-wife to distraction for the first few years." Elrond smiled remembering the way Celebrian had begged him to change rooms because she found the water too loud even as it soothed him.
"Elros especially loved the water. He wanted to be a great mariner like our father at one time." Estel looked over at his foster father. Elrond rarely spoke of Elros. "He had never really wanted to be a king."
"What did you want when you were young?" Estel asked dreamily. His father rarely spoke so freely about such things.
Elrond thought for a moment. He could not tell Estel that when he had been young, all he had ever dreamed or prayed for was to be safe and loved. To never have to worry about loosing his loved ones to wars or evil. He could not let his fears hold his son back from his destiny. "I wanted to be a great healer."
"You didn't want to be a ruler."
Elrond chuckled. Like Estel he fought tooth and nail against having to rule anything. Gil-Galad had to order him to run Imladris. "No, I never wanted to be a ruler or king. But I found that I could be both a leader and a healer of a group of miscreant refugee elves and the occasional Edain." He smiled at his son.
"And maybe another half elf?" Estel questioned.
"Most certainly another half elf." Estel smiled back finally. "Why do you sit down here all alone? Even when you were a child you spend too much time alone."
"There was no one here my one age for me to play with."
"I sometimes think I should have sent you to Gondor to be raised where you would have had other children to play with. I think you would not be so introspective then." Elrond realized the humour in him calling someone too quiet and introverted and he laughed to himself.
"Why didn't you? I mean I am glad that you kept me, but why did you?" Estel half expected some romantic story about looking down into his eyes and instantly falling in love with his child self.
"Actually, I didn't want to. Gandalf brow beat me into it." Elrond leaned over and used his shoulder to slightly push Estel to show that he had not meant the statement to be hurtful. But Estel felt pain from it.
"Of course you would not have wanted to keep me. Why would you want a worthless human child?" Estel threw back the words Thranduil had spoken to him. The stars began to waiver through his tears.
"You are not worthless, sweetheart. Don't ever think that you are. I didn't want to keep you here because I knew I would love you and I feared opening my heart to love again. I feared getting hurt. Gandalf made me face that fear and I have never regretted it. Before you came I stayed alive because I knew the Valar needed me to do something. After you came I started to live again. You, Estel, taught the wise and powerful Lord Elrond half-elvin of Rivendell what it meant to love again. That has great worth."
"Like a dog." Estel sniffled.
Elrond bit the side of his cheek to contain his anger. He knew this was Thranduil's doing. Maybe he would give Glorfindel his wish and allow the blonde to take the king on a hunting trip. Elrond felt a wicked smile pull at his lips thinking about the king alone in the woods with the Barlog- slayer. "Estel, you may not be the golden and shining king of Mirkwood, but not all that is gold glitters." Estel leaned over against his father's shoulder and the two stared at the stars a little bit longer. "Come Estel, you have not eaten all day and you must be starving. I had the chef's prepare mashed potatoes for you with extra salt." Elrond heard his child's stomach growl at the mention of food.
"I guess I am a little hungry." The two rose and walked into the house for dinner.
A few hours after dinner Estel again sat star gazing. Dinner had been hell on Middle Earth. Elrond and Thranduil fought all through it while every so often Elladan and Legolas would go at it. And at one point when Thranduil threatened Elrohir with bodily harm, Estel thought Glorfindel was going to kill the king right there. After half an hour Estel had taken his plate and snuck out. No one had noticed.
His reflections were soon interrupted by a knock on his door. It was late, so Estel had no idea who it could be. He opened the door half expecting to find another drunk Thranduil, but instead it was Legolas.
Estel let the prince enter and sat on the bed. Legolas sat on the bed beside Estel and smiled at the human. The Ranger was curled up at the top of the bed with his bare feet tucked under the covers. He hugged a pillow to his chest, giving every nonverbal sign he did not want to be touched. Legolas guessed he wasn't going to get the goodbye he had hoped for.
"I didn't want to leave without saying good-bye."
"Good-bye." Estel said.
"Are you angry with me?" Legolas could not understand why Estel was being so cold to him.
"No." Estel had to look down at his lap to avoid the elf. He wanted to throw himself in Legolas's arms and feel the heat and strength of his best friend warming and protecting him.
"Can you say anything more than one syllable at one time?" Legolas tried to joke with the Ranger.
"Yes." Estel wanted so much for Legolas to hold him. He needed the contact. He could feel his daughter start to move at the sound of her father's voice. He tensed slightly at the foreign feeling. Legolas noticed.
"Are you ok?"
"Yes." Estel slid his hand underneath the pillow he was holding and rested it against his belly hoping to calm her down.
"Are you sure, you look unwell?" Legolas was concerned.
"Yes, I am sure." Estel snapped.
"Then why do you look like you are in pain?"
"I can feel her moving around. It is just strange to me."
Legolas's eyes lit up. "Does it hurt?"
"No, it kind of tickles. Like a butterfly's wings." Estel finally moved the pillow and uncurled so that Legolas could touch his tummy. The elf lightly skimmed his hand over the bulge trying not to tickle Estel like he usually did. He could just barely feel her fluttering at his touch. He smiled up at Estel.
Estel was happy for the touch, even if it tickled. He missed Legolas so much. He just wanted to curl up in the elf's lap like a cat. He felt so sad and wanted Legolas to hold him so much, but he didn't know how to ask. The only time Legolas ever held him was if he was ill or after they had sex.
Legolas removed his hand from the human's stomach and leaned back. Estel felt so cold and alone without the touch that he made up his mind to get it back. He leaned forward and kissed Legolas. The prince did not wait even half a heartbeat to sweep Estel up into a crushing embrace. All Estel could think about were Thranduil's words. "He only seeks you out for sex."
Soon Legolas had removed both of their clothes and had pushed Estel onto is back. He climbed on top of the human and entered him. Estel almost screamed. The combined pressure of the elf's weight on his belly and his thrusting from below were unbearable. He felt like he couldn't breathe. It made him nauseous and it hurt. He tried to stand it, but he couldn't.
"Legolas." The human gasped.
"Oh Estel." The elf moaned back in return.
"Please." Estel whispered and Legolas took that as a sign of pleasure. The elf thrust harder and faster. "Stop, you're hurting me." Estel finally managed to gasp. Legolas stopped immediately and Estel shoved him away trying to still his breathing. Estel then realized that Legolas had moved to the farthest side of the bed. The elf was angry with him. "I'm sorry." Estel cried just before he grabbed his shirt and ran for the bathing room.
Legolas sat stunned for a moment staring after the human. On the other side of the door, Estel crouched on the floor crying. Now Legolas would never seek him out. He couldn't even give the elf sex. He would have to survive the rest of his pregnancy alone. Estel started to feel sick just thinking about it.
He vaguely heard Legolas knock on the door, but he ignored him. Legolas was starting to worry so he opened the door anyway, just in time to see Estel start to be sick. The elf gathered the loose hair in his hands and held it for Estel. Then he pulled the human back into a comforting hug. Estel tried to remember the feeling of having Legolas near him. He didn't know how much longer he would.
After some time passed, and Estel no longer matched the green of his tunic, Legolas asked. "How did I hurt you, love?"
Estel sniffled and wiped his slightly runny nose on his sleeve before he answered. "The pressure of your weight on my belly hurt. It made me feel sick, and like I couldn't breath." His voice was scratchy sounding. He continued before Legolas could say anything. "I am sorry, so sorry. We can try again. I promise I won't complain this time. Just." Estel never got to finish what he was going to say.
Instead, Legolas grabbed the human's upper arms and thrust him away shaking him slightly. "How dare you say that to me? How dare you think that I would want?" Legolas was too angry to continue. He could not believe Estel thought he would want to have sex if it caused anything but pleasure to the young Ranger. He would never want to hurt Estel like that. Why had Estel not said something then they could have used a different position? He was absolutely irate.
Legolas stood quickly and left the room slamming the door shut behind him. He had not heard Estel finish his sentence. "Just please don't leave me."
Across the hall, Thranduil heard the door slam and say his son storm away. He smiled to himself. "Now, you have driven him away, child. Your daughter's days are numbered."
"Lord Elrond. Is Estel doing better?" Erestor said by way of a greeting.
"I have not seen him. Why do you ask?"
"I ran into him earlier today, and he was rather unwell."
"Unwell how?"
"He vomited in the courtyard and looked like he had been crying. I could see blood on his hands and on his pants. I normally would not have said anything, but he did not seem at all himself."
"Thank you, I will go check on him directly." Elrond left his study to go and see Estel. Elrond feared the worst when he heard Erestor say he saw blood on his child's pants. Estel was loosing his baby. He had let on to no one but Glorfindel just how real of a possibility that miscarriage still was. Normally the risk dropped dramatically after the first three to four months, but Estel was so weak and malnourished and his daughter needed so much to survive, there was every chance that the human would not be strong enough to keep the elvin child alive. Elrond prayed that it wasn't so.
Elrond reached the room and gently knocked on the door. Estel bade him to enter and he did. He half expected to see the human atop a blood covered bed writhing in pain, instead he saw Estel sitting on the window seat with his legs tucked under him hugging a pillow. There were tears drying on his pale face. Elrond immediately went to him.
"What is troubling you? Erestor said you were unwell." Elrond crouched beside him trying to discern what was troubling his child and where the blood had come from.
"I threw up in the courtyard." Estel would not meet his gaze.
"That does not explain why you are crying." Elrond wiped away a tear that had slipped from his child's eye.
"I am just tired and worried about things." Estel was intentionally vague.
"What things, sweetheart?"
"Just what is going to happen after she is born." Estel ran his hand down his tummy and Elrond saw that he hands were sliced up and still oozing in places.
"Try not to worry about that right now. You need to worry more about staying healthy. It is almost time for dinner. You should get ready." Elrond hoped giving Estel something else to do would make him forget about the future for now.
"I don't want to go to dinner. I feel nauseous." That was not a lie. He had thrown up two more times since he had gotten back to his room.
"Ok, you can stay up here and rest. However, let me see your hands." Elrond sat down on the window seat opposite his son and took one hand in his own.
"It is nothing. Just scratches." Estel looked away. For some reason he was having a hard time looking at the cuts. They made him feel queasy every time he did.
"These are not simply scratches, Estel. Why haven't you cleaned them out? You cannot risk getting an infection now. Do you have any idea what that could do to your daughter?" Elrond stopped talking as soon as he sensed what his words were doing to Estel. The human had started crying again and Elrond could feel self-hatred radiating off him like heat from a fire.
"I'm sorry, Ada. I didn't mean to. I can't do anything right." Estel whimpered. He tried to pull his hand away, but instead Elrond pulled him forward into a warm embrace.
"Do not cry, child. I am not angry with you. I am just concerned. It is unlike you to run off so quickly and to leave wounds untended for so long. I only want to see you happy and well." Elrond soothed his son as he cried. Elrond could sense that something had truly upset his child, but he couldn't tell what it was without probing farther than politeness dictated.
"I tried to clean and bandage them, but looking at them made me sick." Estel sniffled.
"I see, well I will tend them for you." The elf lord cleaned the wounds and bound them neatly causing as little discomfort to Estel as possible. Estel also showed Elrond his knees and the half elf fixed them as well. He supposed that the knee wounds could have accounted for the blood Erestor said was on Estel's pants. He wished his advisor had been more specific. It would have saved him several very unpleasant moments of worry.
When he was finished he rose and gave Estel a quick hug. To his surprise, Estel clung to him like he was a life saver.
"I love you, Ada. Thank you for taking the day off to have a picnic for me." Estel felt tears glisten in his eyes again, but this time for a different reason.
"You are welcome, my child. I love you too. Now get some rest."
After Elrond left, Estel crawled into bed and fell into an exhausted sleep.
Estel woke several hours later, after midnight. He was hungry, thirsty, and had to use the privy. One problem was easily solved. When he was finished in the privy he sat back down in bed. He still felt tired and wished he could go back to sleep, but his stomach again prevented it. He was hungry almost to the point of nausea and he hated that feeling. He knew if he didn't eat something now, he would probably be sick all day tomorrow, but he didn't want to get out of bed.
Unhappy at the prospect of spending the next twenty-four hours lying in bed too hungry to sleep but to sick to eat, he rose and headed for the kitchen. But this time he remembered socks.
When he reached the entrance to the kitchen it was all-quiet. He stood at the door uncertain of whether he would be able to enter. He had done this several times and each time felt more foolish than the last. Usually he was saved by one of the staff showing up and getting him something to eat. But he could hear no one moving about. But luck, or rather a very loving father, was on his side. Estel noticed a covered tray sitting on the sideboard. There was a note on it with his name. It read: "Estel, I thought you might get hungry later so I had the chef leave this for you. Love El." Estel put down the note and uncovered the tray. Under it there was peanut butter sandwich and a glass of milk on ice. Estel felt self- doubt surface regarding whether he could ever be as good of a parent as his father.
However, Estel decided that he could eat and ponder at the same time. It was a beautiful night, so he decided to head for the closest terrace to sit outside and eat. As soon as he stepped outside, He heard a voice that had haunted his dreams for the last several hours. Behind Estel stood Thranduil holding a bottle of brandy and swaying slightly on his feet.
"So little pet, too good to eat with the rest of us." Thranduil slurred. Estel was so startled he dropped his glass of milk with a loud crash.
Before Estel could even answer, the king moved closer and backed Estel up against he railing for the terrace. There was nowhere for him to go because they were at least a hundred feet above the river below.
Thranduil reached an unsteady hand out and stroked Estel's hair. Estel stared at him wide eyed with fear. He was so scared he could barely think. "I see what my son likes about you, whore." He looked appreciatively at Estel's rather less than opaque pajamas. Thranduil reached out and took the plate from the Ranger and set it on the railing. "How do you pleasure my son?" Thranduil asked, skimming a hand over Estel's breast.
Estel tried to move to the side, but the king grabbed his hair and pulled him in for a brandy soaked kiss. Estel tried to push him away, but the royal elf was far stronger and had more leverage. Estel was reminded of the fear he felt the first time he was alone in the cave with Legolas. The fear that a stronger man would force him to do something he didn't want to do. But his fear of Thranduil was far worse.
Thranduil yanked Estel's hair and forced him onto his knees in front of the king. "Do you pleasure him like this?" Thranduil mumbled. But before he could force the issue any further he noticed there was sword at his throat. It was long and slightly curved of the sort favoured by the Vanyar elves. He could see ancient Quenya engraved on the blade. There was no doubt in his mind whom the sword belonged to, even before he heard the voice.
"And what do you think you are doing?" Glorfindel's voice was lethally soft.
"Stay out of this. The young one is none of your concern." Thranduil slowly turned to face the golden-haired elf. The companion to the blade at his throat still rested at the elf's hip. For all that Thranduil absolutely hated Glorfindel, he had to admit it was a thing of beauty to watch the Eldar fight. Few, even among the elves, had the dexterity to fight with double sabers.
"That is where you are wrong. He is my concern." Glorfindel called to Estel. "Come Estel, I think we should go inside." Estel scurried around the king and hid behind the brightly glowing elf.
"He is not truly of this house. Or have you forgotten that the twins brought him back a bastard to keep your lord from going crazy with grief after he was unable to save his wife." Thranduil spit the hateful words.
"I protect the line of kings, and Estel is descended from that line. But more than that I have watched him grow from a babe into a person far more worthy of respect than you." Glorfindel lowered his sword but did not sheath it. "Now I suggest you seek your bed before you do anything else you might regret." He turned to leave pushing a very shaken Estel before him. But he turned and said. "And if you ever lay a finger on him again, I will send Legolas back to Mirkwood as king." With that he left a very angry king fuming on the terrace.
Glorfindel led Estel back to the private dining room and sat him down, slowly checking to make sure the human was unhurt. From what he could tell, Estel only seemed shaken.
"Well, what are you doing up so late, pup?" Glorfindel smiled at the frightened Ranger.
"I was hungry. I dropped my glass of milk on the terrace. I need to clean it up." Estel stood up, but the blond pushed him back down.
"Don't worry I will clean it up later. What would you like to eat?" He tried to seem light even though he was seething with rage. He would have to be careful or his ire would wake Elrond. If he had learned one thing over the last several thousand years, it was that his charge was excessively psychically sensitive.
"Ada made a sandwich for me, but I left it outside."
"I shall make you another, wait here." Glorfindel went to the kitchen to quickly fix another sandwich and glass of milk for the human. He allowed the door to remain open so Estel knew he was still there. Estel appreciated the gesture. Till his dying day, he would never feel as safe as when he had Glorfindel around. Thranduil had called him "guard dog" but in a way it was true. There was something about having one of history's best fighters watching over you. Especially when the sole reason for his existence, was to assure your safety. He felt himself relax a bit.
Glorfindel soon returned bearing a sandwich and a glass of cold milk along with a plate of cookies. Estel accepted them with a quiet thank you. Glorfindel did not like the way Estel seemed to have pulled into himself. He missed the witty Estel he had grown to love.
"You do not have to worry, my friend, not even Thranduil is stupid enough to bother you again tonight." Glorfindel spoke as he munched on cookies, sharing them with his dog, who had quietly padded into the dining room and taken up residence beside his master.
"I know." Estel mumbled. Now that it was all over he was mortified. "Glor, will promise not to tell anyone what happened?"
"Why?"
"I just don't want anyone to know." They would all think it was his fault. It probably was, but he wasn't sure how. He felt very bad about himself and it was getting worse.
"There is nothing to be ashamed of, little one, you did nothing wrong." Estel was irrationally annoyed that Glorfindel seemed to know exactly why he was upset and had called him 'little one.' He hated when he was reminded how much younger, smaller, and weaker he was than the elves. But he guessed that when you were born when the trees of Valinor still shone brightly he wouldn't take it as an insult.
"I know, I still don't want anyone to know. I don't want him and Ada getting into another fight." Estel picked at his sandwich. He really wasn't hungry anymore.
"Very well. I will tell no one about it if you promise not to tell your father that I let my dog into the dining room. Now eat."
Estel ate a few small bites of his sandwich. Glorfindel had mixed strawberry jam in with the peanut butter and Estel suddenly remembered his hunger. After he had finished about half of the sandwich, he turned to the elf lord across from him who was cooing at his dog. "Why does Thranduil hate Ada so much?"
"Take your pick of reasons. Your father is a horrible elf with no redeeming qualities." Glorfindel smiled as he teased the Ranger. There was a point in time, when he and Elrond had first met, that he would have said that and meant it. He feared for the sanity of the Valar in sending him to protect a quiet, introspective, genius with sad grey eyes. The two had had nothing in common and got on each other's nerves. Elrond could not stand Glorfindel's constant energy and impulsive need for action. Glorfindel hated the way Elrond chose to think everything into circles until it was too late to do anything about it. The blonde joked and teased merrily, while the raven-haired half elf took everything personally and saw all failures as his fault. But eventually Glorfindel realized that Elrond's silence was the result of his natural shyness and a learned reticence around unfamiliar elves, especially those related to Feanor no matter how distantly. And Elrond learned that Glorfindel's jokes were only meant to make him laugh and smile, not hurt his feelings. But now they were best friends, closer than brothers or lovers. Elrond's children knew that loosing Gil-Galad had wounded is heart, loosing Elros had damaged his soul, and loosing Celebrian had made him bleed; but loosing Glorfindel would shatter him
"Seriously."
"There are a lot of reasons. Thranduil's never liked half elves. Not to mention he was angry that Gil-Galad had made a penniless half elf his standard bearer and later his heir. He thought he should be given Vilya because he ruled a kingdom of elves, not a valley of refugees. He even appealed to the Counsel of Elders to have Vilya given to him."
"What happened?" Estel was enjoying the story.
"They said no. Who better to wield a mystical magic ring than one descended from an escaped maian and kings, who has held a Silarillion, and whose father turned into a star. Thranduil had been livid.
"Add to that the fact that Thranduil was supposed to marry Celebrian, but she fell in love with Elrond." There was far more going on to that story than Glorfindel wanted to get into right now. "Then of course when he did marry, Elrond did not attend his wedding. Elrond had twin sons and a daughter and Thranduil's wife gave him only one son. Thranduil's rage at Elrond was so great that when Elrond foresaw that death of Thranduil's wife in childbirth, the king refused his aid. Then when she did die he blamed Elrond for not coming and saving her.
"Thranduil has always been angry that Celeborn likes Elrond better than him even though he and my dear cousin, Galadriel's, silver haired stallion are more closely related. Throw me into that mix and there is no way in Arda that those two will ever like each other."
"So basically Thranduil is jealous of Ada?"
"Yup. He thinks he deserves the respect that Elrond gets, only he never earned it. It is a wonder that Legolas turned out half has good as he did. My guess would be his mother's and Celeborn's influence."
"Yeah, Legolas told me he often spent time with Celeborn when he was young."
"Not surprising. You wouldn't be able to tell by looking, but the silver- tail lord is the consummate mother hen. He takes in every stray child he can find. You know he helped raise your father's mother and grandmother?" Glorfindel waited for Estel to answer, but Estel's eyes were wide with worry. "Estel, is something wrong?" All of the colour had drained out of Estel's face.
"Yes." Estel started to nervously look around.
"What? Should I get your father?" Glorfindel thought perhaps the young human was ill or in pain. Estel's teeth were starting to chatter and he was hugging himself.
"Yes."
Glorfindel sent an urgent mental message to Elrond that he was needed then the crossed the table and knelt in front of Estel. "What is the matter, Estel?"
"Something is wrong. I don't know what."
"Where does it hurt?"
"Not me. Something else." Estel shook his head trying to make sense of the sudden fear, self-loathing, and love that washed over him.
"Estel, you aren't making any sense." Before the blonde could question him any further the human looked up with frightened eyes.
"Legolas." Was all Estel said before he jumped past Glorfindel and sped towards the prince's room. The golden-haired elf was hot on his heels.
When they rounded the corner, Estel pushed open Legolas's door and found his best friend on the floor being kicked by his father. He could see that the prince's lip was spit and so was his cheek. Blood also poured freely from a cut by his hairline. Estel immediately entered and got in between the king and Legolas.
"Leave him alone." All the fear forgotten in seeing his friend injured.
"Get out of my way you meddlesome babe." Thranduil attempted to knock Estel aside, but did not account for the human's training and found a well- placed kick knocking him to his knees. However this only fueled his anger and he rose knocking the human to side with a strong swipe. Estel flew back connected with the wardrobe even as his hand went through the window leaving long angry gashes along his hand and forearm.
With Estel out of the way, Thranduil turned back to his son who had now made it to a sitting position. He grabbed his brandy bottle and smashed it against Legolas's head. The prince's hair mostly protected him from receiving any cuts, but the blow still hurt. All the while the king yelled mean and hurtful things at his son.
By this point Glorfindel arrived and charged into the room engaging Thranduil to protect Legolas. The Vanyar could contain his anger no longer and was not gentle with the king. Thranduil fought like a wild man, but was no match for Glorfindel.
Glorfindel had the king pinned when Thranduil spoke again. "You have no place here. Your protection may extend to Elrond's pet human, but you have no place interfering in the discipline of my child." By Elvish law, Legolas was still under the control of his father's house so really no one could interfere.
"This is not discipline, it is abuse." Glorfindel did not move.
"That is not your decision. Now let me up." In the background Thranduil could hear angry growling that sent a shiver up his spine.
Caught between a rock and a hard place Glorfindel had no choice but to let Thranduil go. The king rose and walked over to his son. "How dare you call them for help." He roared and backhanded Legolas.
Glorfindel was about to intercede again when they all heard. "Halt." The Lord of the Imladris had arrived and he was not happy. Elrond surveyed the scene with his own eyes. He knew what had happed from Glorfindel, but he still could not believe it. "What is going on here?"
"Get out mongrel. You have no place here." Thranduil spat.
"This is my home, Thranduil, my place." The two great elves locked eyes and it seemed violence would break out and this time Estel had no desire to stop it.
However, Legolas did. "Adar, please."
Thranduil turned to is son and glared. How dare he interrupt when he was not wanted? "Shut up." He lifted his hand to smack his son again. But he was stopped by as strange feeling. Like his stomach flying into his throat from a fall, and spinning until he was dizzy. He looked up at Elrond just before the half elf summoned a wave of force that threw him backwards. Thranduil connected with the wall, hard, just about the same time every window on the entire hall broke. To everyone else, the power of Vilya channeled through Elrond's anger felt like being hit with hurricane force winds that did not try to move you or being dropped 50 feet under water where the pressure made you feel like your ears would explode and your eyes would pop from your head. It took your breath away and made your heart pound.
Thranduil picked himself up off the floor shakily. Every bone in his body hurt, but he was enraged. Elrond stood looking at him with one eyebrow cocked, not a hair out of place. Thranduil charged the half elf. He however, never made it. Glorfindel quickly caught the king and put him in a choke hold until he lost consciousness. He dropped the drunk elf into a pile on the floor.
Glorfindel immediately went to Estel to check over his wounds. The cuts on his hands and arms were long and jagged, but not deep. They would need stitching, but were not life threatening. Elrond went to check on Legolas, but the prince pushed him out of the way to get to his father.
"Lord Elrond, is he ok?" Legolas was nearly panicked.
"Yes, he is fine. Glor simply knocked him out cold. He will wake in the morning. I am more worried about you." Elrond again tried to reach for the prince, but Legolas pushed him away a second time.
"Help me get him into bed." Legolas was attempting to move the king, but it was akin to trying to move a 170-pound sleeping cat. Elrond relented and helped, hoping then Legolas would let him tend his injuries.
When Thranduil was deposited on the bed, Legolas began to brush back his hair and whisper his apologies for being a bad son. Elrond felt sick.
"Legolas, are you all right?" Estel came over and brushed Legolas's hair back from his forehead to expose a nasty looking gash that was already purpling. Estel could remember first hand how hard the elf king could hit.
"You don't understand. He isn't normally like this. He is just upset about something. I did something to upset him." Legolas fought against his hysteria. He had to make them understand.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Legolas. You didn't deserve this." Estel tried to calm his friend down. Glorfindel realized that this was the same conversation he had had with the human earlier.
"Please go. Leave us alone." Legolas refused to meet anyone's eyes. Estel was sure that his father would insist that someone stay, but Elrond ushered him out.
"Ada, we can't leave them alone. What if he wakes up and attacks Legolas again?"
"He won't. Glorfindel and a large amount of brandy made sure of that. They need to be alone with each other. Nothing you do or say will make a difference until everyone cools down. Now go to your room and I will get some silk to stitch your hand." Elrond brooked no refusal, so Estel went to his room.
Elrond and Glorfindel walked towards the infirmary. "You are in so much trouble, my friend." Glorfindel said with laughing eyes.
"Why, because I interrupted a family dispute? You know damn well the Elders will not reprimand me."
"I know. When children are involved is the only time Celeborn develops a modicum of a backbone. Most definitely if he knows them personally."
"Why do you pick on him so? Do you really did like your cousin's husband that much?"
"No. I just like busting his balls. That is when my dear cousin will remove them from the pouch on her waist for others to play with." Glorfindel laughed and strangely enough Elrond joined in. Few knew better than the two of them just how forceful Galadriel could be and just how compliant Celeborn had had to be.
Finally Glorfindel stopped laughing, but mirth still shone in his bright blue eyes. "Actually, I was referring to you being in trouble with Erestor."
"Erestor, why?"
"You remember how upset he was the last time you broke the windows?" Glorfindel referred to a little outburst Elrond had had after Celebrian had sailed, which had left every window in Imladris shattered.
"One set of windows. It wasn't that bad."
"Do you realize there are over a thousand windows in this place? Erestor will not be happy having to replace the ones you broke."
"This is my house. I can break the windows if I want."
"Fine, you deal with his lecture. I swear, listening to him is like my atar came over from Valinor." Elrond laughed at the fake shudder Glorfindel gave. The blonde elf felt bad for poking fun at his fellow counselor when he was not here to defend himself, but it was worth it to make Elrond smile.
Elrond soon returned to his child's room with the proper supplies. Estel again sat on the window seat looking out at the night sky. For the second time in twenty-four hours Elrond set about cleaning Estel's wounded hand.
"I am sorry, but I cannot give you anything for pain. It is not safe for your daughter." Elrond apologized when his son winced from the ministrations.
"That's ok." Estel sat quietly for a while until he finally asked the question that was burning in his mind. "Ada, why did he do it?"
Elrond sighed, but continued working. He hoped talking would help distract Estel from the pain. "I don't really know. Thranduil has always been somewhat unstable. He has gotten much worse since the death of his queen, but I had not realized that it had gotten to this point. I suppose that he is just hurting so much that he wants someone else to hurt too." Elrond could understand that feeling. After Celebrian had sailed he had lashed out had anyone and everyone who came near him. Finally Glorfindel had gotten so tired of having goblets and plates thrown at him that he forced Elrond to go on a year long orc hunting trip with him. It had been very cathartic to hack and slash his way through hundreds of orcs. Yes, he could well appreciate how Thranduil felt, but he could never fathom turning against one of his own children.
"Not Thranduil, Legolas. Why would he let his father do that to him? He is an excellent fighter, he could have easily stopped Thranduil without really hurting him if he had wanted to, but he didn't."
That was an even harder question. One Elrond was thankful Estel could not understand the answer to. "For better or for worse, Thranduil is his all of the family Legolas has left. Perhaps Legolas is just trying to make his father happy." Elrond closed his eyes against a very painful rush of memories that he would rather forget.
"Will Legolas be ok?"
"Yes, I will look after his injuries as soon as I am finished with you." Elrond tied the last bandage as he spoke and smiled at Estel. His child's furrowed brow finally relaxed now that here wasn't a needle going in and out of his skin. Elrond collected his things to go.
"Ada." Elrond stopped at the door. "Do you think, I mean." Estel stuttered and looked down but Elrond just stared at him waiting for the actual question. "Will Legolas treat our daughter that way?" Estel finally asked. He felt awful for even thinking it, but he had to know. He would never willingly put his daughter in the hands of someone who would hurt her. He would die first.
"I can't answer that. But look at what you know of him and look into his heart to find the answer." Elrond left. Estel hated when he gave those cryptic answers.
Elrond walked to the next room and bent down to pet the large dog sitting before it. "I see Glor has left his eyes and ears to guard the door." The dog wagged its plumed tail and looked up at Elrond. Making sure no one was looking, he bent down and hugged the dog and the dog gave him a good licking. Elrond smiled and ruffled the beast's coat. "Now, you know you are not suppose to be in this part of the house. All is well, so go find your master." The animal just doggy smiled up at him. "Go, find Glorfindel." The dog gave Elrond a paw to shake. The half elf sighed. "Would that I had that Vanyar's gift." Elrond mumbled, sending a silent mental message to his best friend. "Glor, get your dog. He is shedding all over my rugs."
"Sure thing," Glorfindel sent back. Elrond saw the dog's head snap up and then it trotted off towards the blonde's chamber. "And I know that you hugged him." Glorfindel sent back merrily. Elrond just pinched the bridge of his nose. Sometimes he didn't know why he even bothered getting out of bed in the morning.
Elrond quietly pushed the door open and found Legolas sitting on the edge of the bed brushing his father's hair back from his face. Given the care the prince was showing, one would think Thranduil was a small babe. Elrond could hear Legolas whispering words of love and strength to his father. He barely looked up when Elrond walked in and took a chair across from him.
Finally Legolas looked over at the elflord. Elrond watched him with unwaivering eyes. "Have you come to judge us?" Legolas did have to admit, that sometimes many of the Noldor elves tended to be very judgmental. They looked down their noses at their woodland brethren, but Elrond had never really struck him as that type. After all, the half elf had married a half wood elf.
"No, I came to check on you."
"I am fine, and so is he. We just need to be alone."
"Are you really fine?"
"Yes."
"I do not think so. I think that you are troubled and hurting." Elrond spoke offhandedly as if he were discussing the weather.
"What would you know of it, Elrond? You are wise, but you do not know everything. You could not understand what I feel unless you pulled it from my mind with your mental tricks." Legolas, like his father and most sylvan elves, with the exception of Celeborn, had no real psychic powers. He could not read minds or summon rains, or even talk to animals. Their gifts allowed them to speak with trees and understand the language of the winds. But still, he was a poor example of an elf compared to the one who sat across from him.
"I don't need to read your mind to know what you feel. I understand better than you think, young one."
Legolas looked up suddenly understanding what the half elf was telling him. "Who?"
Elrond leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. The memories came again. He could clearly see the tall redhead frowning at him and the slightly shorter auburn haired elf trying to quiet Elros. As always any time he thought of his beloved brother the memories brought both pleasure and pain. Elrond spoke only one word. "Meadhros." Legolas looked confused. Elrond gave him a soft smile and continued. He could read from the prince's mind that he saw no similarities between his father and the eldest son of Feanor. "History remembers only what it wants to. History tell us that the son's of Feanor killed and pillaged across Middle Earth seeking the Silmiarilion. That they sacked and destroyed Sirion and forced my mother to jump into the sea to protect it. All of this is true. But what history doesn't tell us, is that Meadhros and Maglor were both good elves in their own way. During the years Elros and I lived with them, they taught us both many things. Meadhros taught us how to fight with daggers and how to track, while Maglor taught us how to sing and to use a bow. Meadhros taught me how to read. I remember sitting for hours in his lap at Himring while he read stories to me or I read them to him.
"Sometimes they were so kind that I almost forgot about what they had done. Other times, like when Meadhros got angry, I would remember. He had a temper. If you crossed him when his mood was black, you took a beating. He would always apologize for it afterwards and say how much he cared about his little half elvin foundlings, but the bruises still hurt and I still wondered what I had done so wrong to cause him to raise a hand to me. He hurt me and he made me doubt myself, but yet I still loved them both. They are the most despicable elves in all of history, but I still loved them.
"After we moved in with Gil-Galad, I half expected the same treatment from the king or Cirdan. But eventually both Elros and I learned, that we were not the ones who had made the mistake, it was Meadhros who had done wrong." Elrond noticed that Legolas had his head in is hands and his shoulder's were shaking. The half elf leaned forward and gathered the prince in a fatherly embrace and Legolas took full advantage of it. It had been years since he had been held like this and he missed it. Elrond realized in that moment that he felt no ire towards the young elf anymore. The lord would be happy to accept the prince into his family.
"He doesn't do this very often. It has been years since the last time. He only acts like this when he gets drunk. He would never hurt me otherwise. He loves me. I know he does. He still calls me his little Greenleaf." Legolas babbled.
"I know, young one. He does love you very much and I know he does not mean to hurt you so." After a while the crying subsided and Elrond spoke again. "Now, let me tend your wounds or I shall be hanged by Estel for letting you suffer." Elrond smiled and Legolas gave him a tentative smile in return.
The next two weeks passed much as the one before. Estel's belly grew larger, but his mood grew darker. Legolas could hear him crying at night in his room. He ate little and slept little and all in the house save one worried for him. The young human did not laugh or smile and resembled the walking dead. His face was always pale and his eyes always tired and circled. More often than not he refused to take meals with his family and when he did he asked to be excused at the earliest he could.
Thranduil was the only one who did not seem concerned about the young human. He enjoyed watching the spirit drain from the annoying little whelp. He had, in fact, made sure to continue their lessons about Mirkwood so that he could watch his handy work. He never missed an opportunity to remind the stupid child that the baby would be taken to his realm and he would never see her again. He had also gone out of his way to make sure his son was busy so that he had no time to spend with the human. He did his best to isolate Estel from those who cared about him. However he could not keep the meddling lord of Imladris away from Estel. He did enjoy watching the implacable Lord Elrond grow more and more snappy the more worried he became for Estel. Which of course, as Thranduil pointed out to the Ranger, was all his fault.
It was a brilliant plan. Even now as he watched Estel reading in the corner, he could see how tired and depressed the human was. Thranduil smiled to himself. He gave it a less than a month before the human miscarried. He could only imagine how painful it would be since the human was around 28 weeks along. He hoped he got to see it.
The only real dark cloud was Legolas. Thranduil knew that his son was looking forward to being a father and that the prince was hurt by Estel's unhappiness. However, Thranduil considered it a small price to pay. That was why he had devised with Elrond to have Legolas, his twins, and a few others go to Bree to see if there was any word from Gandalf. They would leave tomorrow morning.
It was almost lunchtime, so he would dismiss the human with a few parting words. "It is time for lunch, you should go." Estel closed his book and rose, but then he stumbled putting his hand over his stomach. He looked down with a very worried expression. Thranduil licked his lips, maybe this was it. "Are you well, youngling?"
Estel looked up at him confused. "I don't know. I feel something strange. Like someone blinking their eyelashes against the inside of my stomach." This was not what Thranduil had hoped. He marched over and put a hand roughly against Estel's belly. His sensitive fingers could just barely feel the butterfly movements of his granddaughter.
"Don't be so dramatic. It is just the child moving around." Thranduil said in a disgusted tone. He had hoped the human was loosing her. But instead he annoyingly felt his heart soften at the feel of her moving against his fingers.
"Really?" Estel looked up with a dazed smile on his face.
Thranduil had to fight to not smile back. "Yes, my new daughter is making her presence known." Thranduil did smile when he saw Estel's face fall. "Now, go to lunch." Estel scurried out before the king could see his tears.
The chef's had made a delicious yogurt parfait for lunch with berries and crunchy grains. Estel loved them, but right now he could do nothing more than mix it around in his bowl. The past two weeks he had been unable to think of anything but Thranduil's words. The king would take his daughter from him and he would never see her again. And almost as upsetting, Legolas didn't care about him. Legolas would leave him all alone too. He felt like he wanted to throw up.
Estel pushed his bowl away and turned to his father. "Ada." He began before he heard Thranduil's growl. The king disliked a human calling an elf, even a half elf, father. "Lord Elrond, may I be excused?"
Elrond looked at his child. Estel's shoulders were hunched and he hung his head. He could feel depression radiating off of him so strong he could barely block it out. "Estel, you didn't eat any breakfast and only picked at your dinner last night. I think you should try and eat something, even if you are not really hungry." Elrond's voice was kind as he pushed the bowl back towards Estel.
Estel looked down dejectedly at the dish as he stirred his yogurt around. He didn't want to eat it. He felt like there were rocks in his stomach.
"Estel, please eat it. How am I to teach my little girl archery if her bones are not strong enough to hold a bow?" Legolas implored.
"Teach her archery in Mirkwood, where I can never see her." Estel thought. He hung his head so his hair would hide his face as he felt tears slide out of his eyes. Only Elrond and Legolas saw the two tears fall onto Estel's hands where they lay clasped in his lap.
Legolas looked up at Elrond helplessly. He didn't understand what was bothering Estel. He could feel that the human was very upset about something, but he didn't know what. Not for the first time he cursed not having Noldor blood so that he could read minds. It was true that they had a bond, but Estel's human blood meant that they could only really feel each other's emotions.
Elrond finally took pity on Estel. "You may go." Estel just shook his head and walked quickly from the room. He kept his face hidden behind his hair until he got outside. When he made it outside he walked as fast as he could to the waterfalls where he could be alone.
He sat there until the sun started to go down and the temperature dropped. Fall was upon them and the nights were growing cold. Estel had not brought a cloak with him and shivered in the wind. But he was not ready to go back yet. He was tired of everyone's concern even as he feared that he would not have it. He was confused.
As he shivered and watched the stars begin to twinkle he felt a cloak draped over his shoulders. He looked up into the grey eyes of Lord Elrond. He hadn't even heard him approaching; he had been so lost in thought.
The half elf sat down on the boulder beside his son. "A little chilly for star gazing isn't it?" Estel nodded and pulled the cloak around himself. He was thankful for the warmth. "What troubles you, my child?" Elrond too looked up at the stars watching his father set out on his journey across the sky. He felt Estel shudder beside him. He tried a different tactic. "This very spot is one of the reasons I choose to make this valley my home."
"Glorfindel said it was in our blood to seek water when upset." Estel finally murmured. His voice was nasal from crying.
"I suppose in a way he is right. I find great piece in listening to the sound of rushing water. That is why my bedroom faces this way. So I can hear the river's song as I sleep. Of course it drove my dear lady-wife to distraction for the first few years." Elrond smiled remembering the way Celebrian had begged him to change rooms because she found the water too loud even as it soothed him.
"Elros especially loved the water. He wanted to be a great mariner like our father at one time." Estel looked over at his foster father. Elrond rarely spoke of Elros. "He had never really wanted to be a king."
"What did you want when you were young?" Estel asked dreamily. His father rarely spoke so freely about such things.
Elrond thought for a moment. He could not tell Estel that when he had been young, all he had ever dreamed or prayed for was to be safe and loved. To never have to worry about loosing his loved ones to wars or evil. He could not let his fears hold his son back from his destiny. "I wanted to be a great healer."
"You didn't want to be a ruler."
Elrond chuckled. Like Estel he fought tooth and nail against having to rule anything. Gil-Galad had to order him to run Imladris. "No, I never wanted to be a ruler or king. But I found that I could be both a leader and a healer of a group of miscreant refugee elves and the occasional Edain." He smiled at his son.
"And maybe another half elf?" Estel questioned.
"Most certainly another half elf." Estel smiled back finally. "Why do you sit down here all alone? Even when you were a child you spend too much time alone."
"There was no one here my one age for me to play with."
"I sometimes think I should have sent you to Gondor to be raised where you would have had other children to play with. I think you would not be so introspective then." Elrond realized the humour in him calling someone too quiet and introverted and he laughed to himself.
"Why didn't you? I mean I am glad that you kept me, but why did you?" Estel half expected some romantic story about looking down into his eyes and instantly falling in love with his child self.
"Actually, I didn't want to. Gandalf brow beat me into it." Elrond leaned over and used his shoulder to slightly push Estel to show that he had not meant the statement to be hurtful. But Estel felt pain from it.
"Of course you would not have wanted to keep me. Why would you want a worthless human child?" Estel threw back the words Thranduil had spoken to him. The stars began to waiver through his tears.
"You are not worthless, sweetheart. Don't ever think that you are. I didn't want to keep you here because I knew I would love you and I feared opening my heart to love again. I feared getting hurt. Gandalf made me face that fear and I have never regretted it. Before you came I stayed alive because I knew the Valar needed me to do something. After you came I started to live again. You, Estel, taught the wise and powerful Lord Elrond half-elvin of Rivendell what it meant to love again. That has great worth."
"Like a dog." Estel sniffled.
Elrond bit the side of his cheek to contain his anger. He knew this was Thranduil's doing. Maybe he would give Glorfindel his wish and allow the blonde to take the king on a hunting trip. Elrond felt a wicked smile pull at his lips thinking about the king alone in the woods with the Barlog- slayer. "Estel, you may not be the golden and shining king of Mirkwood, but not all that is gold glitters." Estel leaned over against his father's shoulder and the two stared at the stars a little bit longer. "Come Estel, you have not eaten all day and you must be starving. I had the chef's prepare mashed potatoes for you with extra salt." Elrond heard his child's stomach growl at the mention of food.
"I guess I am a little hungry." The two rose and walked into the house for dinner.
A few hours after dinner Estel again sat star gazing. Dinner had been hell on Middle Earth. Elrond and Thranduil fought all through it while every so often Elladan and Legolas would go at it. And at one point when Thranduil threatened Elrohir with bodily harm, Estel thought Glorfindel was going to kill the king right there. After half an hour Estel had taken his plate and snuck out. No one had noticed.
His reflections were soon interrupted by a knock on his door. It was late, so Estel had no idea who it could be. He opened the door half expecting to find another drunk Thranduil, but instead it was Legolas.
Estel let the prince enter and sat on the bed. Legolas sat on the bed beside Estel and smiled at the human. The Ranger was curled up at the top of the bed with his bare feet tucked under the covers. He hugged a pillow to his chest, giving every nonverbal sign he did not want to be touched. Legolas guessed he wasn't going to get the goodbye he had hoped for.
"I didn't want to leave without saying good-bye."
"Good-bye." Estel said.
"Are you angry with me?" Legolas could not understand why Estel was being so cold to him.
"No." Estel had to look down at his lap to avoid the elf. He wanted to throw himself in Legolas's arms and feel the heat and strength of his best friend warming and protecting him.
"Can you say anything more than one syllable at one time?" Legolas tried to joke with the Ranger.
"Yes." Estel wanted so much for Legolas to hold him. He needed the contact. He could feel his daughter start to move at the sound of her father's voice. He tensed slightly at the foreign feeling. Legolas noticed.
"Are you ok?"
"Yes." Estel slid his hand underneath the pillow he was holding and rested it against his belly hoping to calm her down.
"Are you sure, you look unwell?" Legolas was concerned.
"Yes, I am sure." Estel snapped.
"Then why do you look like you are in pain?"
"I can feel her moving around. It is just strange to me."
Legolas's eyes lit up. "Does it hurt?"
"No, it kind of tickles. Like a butterfly's wings." Estel finally moved the pillow and uncurled so that Legolas could touch his tummy. The elf lightly skimmed his hand over the bulge trying not to tickle Estel like he usually did. He could just barely feel her fluttering at his touch. He smiled up at Estel.
Estel was happy for the touch, even if it tickled. He missed Legolas so much. He just wanted to curl up in the elf's lap like a cat. He felt so sad and wanted Legolas to hold him so much, but he didn't know how to ask. The only time Legolas ever held him was if he was ill or after they had sex.
Legolas removed his hand from the human's stomach and leaned back. Estel felt so cold and alone without the touch that he made up his mind to get it back. He leaned forward and kissed Legolas. The prince did not wait even half a heartbeat to sweep Estel up into a crushing embrace. All Estel could think about were Thranduil's words. "He only seeks you out for sex."
Soon Legolas had removed both of their clothes and had pushed Estel onto is back. He climbed on top of the human and entered him. Estel almost screamed. The combined pressure of the elf's weight on his belly and his thrusting from below were unbearable. He felt like he couldn't breathe. It made him nauseous and it hurt. He tried to stand it, but he couldn't.
"Legolas." The human gasped.
"Oh Estel." The elf moaned back in return.
"Please." Estel whispered and Legolas took that as a sign of pleasure. The elf thrust harder and faster. "Stop, you're hurting me." Estel finally managed to gasp. Legolas stopped immediately and Estel shoved him away trying to still his breathing. Estel then realized that Legolas had moved to the farthest side of the bed. The elf was angry with him. "I'm sorry." Estel cried just before he grabbed his shirt and ran for the bathing room.
Legolas sat stunned for a moment staring after the human. On the other side of the door, Estel crouched on the floor crying. Now Legolas would never seek him out. He couldn't even give the elf sex. He would have to survive the rest of his pregnancy alone. Estel started to feel sick just thinking about it.
He vaguely heard Legolas knock on the door, but he ignored him. Legolas was starting to worry so he opened the door anyway, just in time to see Estel start to be sick. The elf gathered the loose hair in his hands and held it for Estel. Then he pulled the human back into a comforting hug. Estel tried to remember the feeling of having Legolas near him. He didn't know how much longer he would.
After some time passed, and Estel no longer matched the green of his tunic, Legolas asked. "How did I hurt you, love?"
Estel sniffled and wiped his slightly runny nose on his sleeve before he answered. "The pressure of your weight on my belly hurt. It made me feel sick, and like I couldn't breath." His voice was scratchy sounding. He continued before Legolas could say anything. "I am sorry, so sorry. We can try again. I promise I won't complain this time. Just." Estel never got to finish what he was going to say.
Instead, Legolas grabbed the human's upper arms and thrust him away shaking him slightly. "How dare you say that to me? How dare you think that I would want?" Legolas was too angry to continue. He could not believe Estel thought he would want to have sex if it caused anything but pleasure to the young Ranger. He would never want to hurt Estel like that. Why had Estel not said something then they could have used a different position? He was absolutely irate.
Legolas stood quickly and left the room slamming the door shut behind him. He had not heard Estel finish his sentence. "Just please don't leave me."
Across the hall, Thranduil heard the door slam and say his son storm away. He smiled to himself. "Now, you have driven him away, child. Your daughter's days are numbered."