Wow, it has been a long time since I updated, sorry about that. But thank
you guys so much for all of the support. For those who asked, I gave birth
to two healthy and happy twin boys, who are doing very well.
This chapter had to be loaded in three parts because it was so long. I guess I need to learn to write shorter chapters. The second part should be up in a day or two. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
-Naja
See first chapter for disclaimers.
ESTEL/ESTELLE
The next week passed by without much incident. With the humans gone, the house had fallen back into its normal routine including Estel studying under Thranduil. The king was beginning to make Estel nervous because he kept standing close and trying to touch him. If Estel didn't know any better, he would think Thranduil was trying to be friendly. However, as soon as Estel would let his guard down the king would make some comment about his daughter being taken from him. The whole dance was making him dizzy.
Today had been particularly bad. Thranduil had alternated between telling him what a horrible person he was and how unfit he was to be a parent and rubbing his belly. Estel normally liked having his tummy rubbed, but not by Thranduil. It wasn't that the king was rough, but Estel just didn't like the way it felt. But at least he didn't tickle like Legolas always did. He could feel his daughter try and get away from the king, not that she had anywhere to go.
At the end of his lesson he was happy to be away from the king, even if it meant he was to go to his weakly check up. Elrond had decided early in Estel's pregnancy that it would be wise to keep close tabs on his health. So every week Estel went with is father to the infirmary and got weighed, examined, and asked very personal questions. He didn't really care for it, but he saw the wisdom.
Estel wandered down to the infirmary to meet Elrond, munching on a gingerbread cookie the chef had given him. He had felt better the last few days than he had in months. He had only thrown up once all day yesterday and he didn't feel that queasy right now. Maybe the worst was finally over. The book Elrond had given him months ago said that pregnancy illness usually disappeared abruptly and mysteriously. Perhaps that was what was happening finally. He whistled while he walked, pleased that for once he could notice the beauty of the day.
Elrond was already waiting for his child, when Estel arrived. He noticed that the Ranger seemed uncharacteristically cheerful. "Good afternoon. How has your day been?"
"Surprisingly good, and yours?" Estel beamed back happily.
"Fine. I had a long meeting with Erestor this morning about running our own sheep rather than buying wool from nearby villages. It was most inspirational." Elrond sardonically replied. Then he set about taking Estel's weight and measurements. He was pleased to note that the Ranger had put on over two pounds since last week and almost half an inch around his belly.
"I thought my clothes felt tighter." Estel answered the news with his own. But he was actually very happy. If he was putting on weight it meant that she was healthy and she was growing. He was so happy in fact that he didn't mind answering the round of questions about what he had eaten during the week and what had stayed down verses what hadn't. Normally he didn't like those questions, but today he didn't care.
The only thing he liked about these weekly check ups was that he and Elrond had time to talk. Elrond would often listen to him rant or cry for and hour or more over some trivial thing that was bothering him. Every week before he went into the infirmary he swore to himself that he would not loose it and have a breakdown in front of his father and every week he did. However, this week he really had nothing more to complain about. It was just such a good day.
When they finally finished, it was time for lunch and Estel greatly enjoyed his half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and glass of cold milk. Then Elrond asked if he wanted to play chess and Estel took him up on the offer. It wasn't often that Elrond had time to play games and if he did he usually spent them with Glorfindel. Estel felt special. The two chatted about the weather and the goings on in the valley.
Finally Estel asked a question that had been bothering him for months. "Ada, what do you think I should do? I mean after she is born." This was one of the many questions that kept Estel up at nights.
"That will really be up to you and Legolas, not me or Thranduil." Elrond had to bite his lip from answering the way that he wanted. He wanted to tell his child that he should stay in Rivendell with his daughter where they would both be safe and happy until Estel's dying day. However, he knew that was not Estel's path.
"I know. But if it were you, what would you do?" Estel had a hard time even imagining his father in this situation. Estel had yet to tell anyone about Thranduil's threat. He hoped that the king would change his mind. Also, half of him was afraid that even Elrond would agree with Thranduil that Estel should not be allowed to raise her.
"If it were me, I would do what is best for my child regardless of how I felt. If that meant giving up a life of adventure to raise her or giving her up to someone with a safer home, then I would do it." Elrond answered. He didn't want to sway Estel into doing what he wanted but he did feel he needed to add. "She will always have a home in my valley though. I would wish my granddaughter close to me even if my child cannot always be." Estel seemed to visibly relax at hearing this.
Estel knew that he may not have the chance to raise her as his own, but he hoped that Elrond would be willing to keep her. He guessed that Legolas would want her, but he really didn't see how the elf was in any better position to have a child than he was. Both of them had rather transient life styles. Elrond on the other hand rarely left his valley and was a wonderful father. However, Estel was still a little too shy to ask the lord about it yet.
So instead, he asked him another question that had been bothering him. "What do you think I should name her?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Because, I feel kind of funny just calling her 'she' all the time. She needs a name, a pretty one." Estel moved his night into check position.
"I can't pick her name for you, sweetheart. That is something she must tell you." Elrond expertly countered the attack.
"How can she tell me what her name is if I haven't told her yet?"
"Don't worry, she will. Besides, even if she doesn't, I am sure you and Legolas will come up with something very lovely for such a lovely elfling."
"I hope so. I would hate for her to be stuck with an ugly name or something that doesn't fit her."
"Have some confidence in yourself. You will do just fine. I will show you a book of names after lunch, ok?" Estel nodded in answer and returned his attention to the chess game that he was about to lose.
The rest of the night passed quietly because the boisterous younger elves were all on their way home from Bree. Estel relaxed on the floor in front of the fire in Elrond's study thinking on the names for his daughter and listening to Glorfindel relate a story about Gil-Galad. Thranduil and Elrond would add parts to the story as well but Estel wasn't really paying much attention to the words, more the constant rhythmic sound of speech. He was just relaxing and watching the fire dance when he started to feel nauseous. He hoped it would go away so he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the story instead of his churning tummy.
He was upset that he was starting to feel sick. He felt so much better all day long and he didn't want to spoil it now. He had gone all day without vomiting and that was the first time since he found out he was pregnant. As the ill feeling started to get worse Estel felt like crying. He had been so happy all day. It just wasn't fair.
Less than ten minutes after he started to feel sick, he quietly got up and left the room waving a good night to the three elves. All but Thranduil looked up to see him go wishing him a good night. It was only 8:30, but he hadn't napped at all so he was tired. He slowly walked back to his room trying not to upset his stomach any worse. When he reached it he was glad to see that the staff had already lit the fire and filled his bedside pitcher with ice and water. He poured a glass and sipped at it hoping to feel better. It worked enough for him to change into sleeping clothes. He quickly curled up in his cold bed and tried to sleep through his nausea.
He managed to sleep till around midnight when the need to vomit woke him up. All he had time to do was sit up and reach for the bowl beside his bed before he lost a portion of his diner. When he was finished he leaned back panting for a moment. He was miserable that his good day had been ruined.
He slowly rose from his bed, feeling the entire room spin, as he tried to go to his bathing room to rinse out both his mouth and the basin. Just the act of getting out of bed made him double over and retch again. He staggered into the bathing room, barely able to stand. He cleaned up as fast as his shaking hands would let him and collapsed on the chase lounge feeling like he was about to faint. He lay there for the next few hours trying to sleep without much success. He hadn't brought any blankets and it was very cold. Plus every time he started to doze off he would wake up with a start, feeling like he needed to be sick.
Around four in the morning he gave up and took his bowl back to his bed. He thought he might have a better chance sleeping there. It didn't help. He still felt just as bad, and now when he did actually vomit he had to get out of bed and walk into the bathroom rather than just stumbling the few steps from the lounge. He didn't want to use the bowl because he hated having to clean it out. As he curled up on his bed, he tried to block out the way the shadows cast from the fire danced on the wall. Their constant movements made him feel even worse.
By morning he felt no better, but decided to get up and go to breakfast anyway. He hoped eating something would settle his stomach, after all isn't that what everyone kept telling him to do. "Eat something, Estel, then you will feel better. Everyone knows that is how you get rid of pregnancy illness." He doubted it would though. Each time he had taken the smallest sip of water it had come back up, usually before the water had even warmed to body temperature.
He slowly slid into his chair trying to look more chipper than he felt. He had washed and gotten dressed but he had just put his hair in a long braid down his back. He knew he looked terrible, he just hoped no one would notice. When the meal was served, he tried to eat some toast but the idea of swallowing it made bile rise in the back of his already raw throat. His tea didn't seem to help, mostly because he had only taken a few sips and was afraid to take anymore.
After ten minutes he had slipped out without anyone noticing. The other elves were discussing something that he didn't care to pay attention to. He had tried to get Elrond's attention to ask his permission to leave the table, but the lord had ignored him. He left without permission before he embarrassed himself by getting sick at the table again.
He went to the closest privy and lost his morning tea. He was thirsty from not having any liquids for several hours. He rested his head against the cool stone bowl and considered his options. Elrond had told him to come and alert the half elf if he started feeling very bad or could hold anything down for over 24 hours. It had only been about nine hours since the relentless nausea had started, but he did feel worse than he had in months. He groaned as his stomach turned over sickeningly. He would try and stick it out. He was bound to feel better soon.
Decision made, he dragged himself up and headed to the study to meet Thranduil for his lessons. He was a bit early, and sat at his favourite spot, on the chase lounge overlooking the gardens. It was the warmest in the room in the mornings. He often liked to nap here. He tried to stay sitting up, but he only lasted a few minutes before he ended up horizontal. He knew Thranduil didn't like when his student reclined during lessons, but Estel didn't think he could stay upright for long.
Estel stayed there for about half an hour trying not to cry. The nausea was unreal. He literally couldn't function. Every time he moved he felt like he needed to be sick. If he even so much as blinked too hard he felt bile burn his throat. All he could do was lie very still as the never ending waves of nausea crashed against him threatening to drown him. He knew Thranduil would never allow his pupil to stay like this, so Estel resolved to ask the king for the morning off.
Thranduil arrived about a half hour after Estel had collapsed on the couch. He noticed that the Ranger literally looked green. He didn't move or even open his eyes when the king entered. Though Thranduil knew Estel was awake from the tension in his muscles, but there was no movement at all. He walked up to Estel and looked him over. He looked worse than Thranduil had seen him in quite a while. He had a fleeting thought that he should summon Elrond, then changed his mind. No matter what he personally felt about his granddaughter, it would still be best if she weren't born.
Thranduil was brought from his musings by Estel's strangled voice. "Can we skip the lesson today? I am not feeling very well this morning." Estel said through clenched teeth.
That was clearly an understatement as far as Thranduil was concerned. "If you wish. But I would prefer that you didn't waste my time by asking me to teach you and then saying that you are too sick to learn. How ill do you have to be to not be able to sit in a chair and listen? After all, it is just a little upset stomach. It is all in your head. You truly are weak Estel. I hope my new daughter has her father's strength." Thranduil noted that Estel did not even seem to register the insult. He had instead slowly pushed himself into a sitting position and then sat there panting for a moment.
"Could you hand me a glass of water?" Estel almost whimpered. He thought he was about to toss his cookies, but he knew he didn't have the strength to get to the privy. He hoped the water would help and if nothing else he could vomit in the glass.
Thranduil complied without argument before he realized what he was doing. The Ranger thanked him and accepted the water, taking a single sip. He then slowly rose and staggered out of the room. Thranduil watched Estel leave feeling more concerned than he thought he would.
Estel made it back to his room before he bent over retching up bile and mucus into a green fluffy splat in his sink. He then collapsed in an exhausted heap in his bed. Now there was no stopping the tears. Maybe he was weak, after all it was only a "little upset stomach." He eventually cried himself into a much needed sleep.
The rest didn't last long though. Half an hour later, his daughter's movements woke him. Over the past week he had become more aware of her movements and they seemed to be stronger. Now they were so strong they could wake him up even though he was exhausted. He cursed under his breath and rolled over trying to go back to sleep. However, the mere act of rolling over was enough to send the room into a tale spin and violently reawaken his nausea. He managed to fight down the urge to vomit but he felt sick enough to.
Estel spent the next six hours or so resting in his bed trying not to move a single muscle. If he made the mistake of moving he would double over retching almost uncontrollably. He tried to ignore his growing thirst, but it was becoming harder and harder. He hadn't been able to hold down any liquid for hours and his throat was raw and sore. He had felt this bad many times during his early pregnancy, but it had started to get better except for the time when Legolas had found him on the chase lounge. The memories of that day and the one prior were some of the most unpleasant of his life. There was no worse feeling in the world than feeling like you are dying of thirst when there is a full pitcher of water on your side table. Estel never wanted to feel that way again.
When it was time for lunch, he played dead. The servant who came to summon him assumed his was asleep and, as per Elrond's orders, left him sleeping. He did prepare a tray, though, and brought it to the sleeping human. He left it on the side table and refilled the pitcher. Through all of this Estel did not move. Although, it was very difficult to stay still when he caught the smell of lunch.
After the servant left, Estel immediately got up and flushed the soup down the privy. He realized as he stood, fighting back the urge to dry heave, that his legs were very shaky. He made it the whole way into the bathing room and back out before he lost his battle with his heaving stomach. Half way back to his bed he bent over and uselessly retched into a towel he had grabbed. His dry heaving continued for several minutes and Estel's knees could no longer hold him up. He collapsed to the ground on all fours, choking.
When the fit finally subsided he was so weak he had to crawl back on his hands and knees. He hated dry heaving. Not only was it unpleasant, but it hurt, especially against his dry throat. And there was always the fear that he would do himself some real damage. As if that weren't enough, his daughter was displeased and began banging at his belly with all of her might. Estel felt anxious and distressed far beyond what he should and he didn't know why. He wanted to wrap his arms around his belly to hold her, but he couldn't stand the pressure against his stomach.
Instead, he settled for resting a hand against his tummy and speaking to her. "Please calm down, sweetheart. I am sorry about this. I didn't mean to up set you." He repeated the litany until she quieted and even he felt calmer.
Estel hoped that if he waited just a little bit longer, than the relentless nausea would subside. There were isolated times before when he would feel this bad. He would vomit five or ten times in an hour but then twenty minutes later he would feel back to his normal mildly queasy self.
By 3:30 in the afternoon, he realized that he needed help. He slowly rose from bed and drank a whole glass of water. He would rather throw back up water than dry heave.
He slowly staggered to his door and began to make his way towards Elrond's study. He prayed the half elf would be there. He had to lean against the walls for support. It took him quite a while, but he finally made it to the ornately carved doors and sagged against them in relief. He could hear his father on the other side. He weakly knocked on the door and Elrond bade him to enter. It took Estel a moment to work up the strength to push open the door, he felt that weak.
Once he finally did, he felt his stomach attempt to pitch the water out. Elrond had asked him something, he didn't know what, and he had opened his mouth to answer. The next thing he realized was that he was retching up water and bile onto Elrond's rug.
Elrond had been cloistered in his study with Thranduil, trying to find someway to get along with the prickly king. He wasn't having any luck. He was beginning to doubt his diplomacy skills because he just couldn't seem to find any common ground between the two. There was too much water under the bridge for the powerful elves to ever really get along. However, he would make the effort for Estel and his granddaughter.
The two were discussing orc problems and Thranduil was again bemoaning that Elrond had tried to send troops to help him out in Mirkwood. Thranduil seemed to take Elrond's gesture to mean that the king could not protect his own lands. Elrond was at his wit's end and was contemplating throwing the other elf out of the window, when he heard a weak knock at his door. He assumed it was a servant and bade them to enter. He would not have cared if it were Sauron himself, as long as it gave him a reason to ignore the king.
A few breaths past before the door finally opened to reveal a very bedraggled looking Estel. The human looked horrible. Estel was pale as a ghost with deep circles under his eyes. He swayed slightly and his aura looked weak. He stood with his shoulders slumped and one hand resting on his tummy.
Elrond could tell immediately there was something wrong with his child. He questioned Estel to determine what it was. "Estel, dear child, what is the matter?" Elrond moved towards Estel to catch the human in case he fell. Instead, Estel opened his mouth as if to answer Elrond, and vomited on the floor. Elrond barely got out of the way in time.
The half elf put a hand out to steady Estel but talked to Thranduil. "Hand me that trashcan will you?" Elrond held his other hand out to the king. Thranduil complied wordlessly. Elrond found some small pleasure in the fact that the king was starting to look slightly green himself. It turned out that the trashcan was not needed because Estel only retched one time.
When he was finished, Estel covered his mouth with his the back of his hand and weakly said. "Mmm sorry, Ada." He really was too. He hadn't meant for that to happen. He would have felt bad enough about puking on Elrond's rug, but then he noticed Thranduil off to the corner. Estel figured the king would just use this as another excuse why he wasn't good enough to raise his daughter. Estel started to see green and black balls dancing in front of his eyes. He needed to sit down.
Luckily, Elrond took him by the shoulder and steered him towards Estel's favourite window seat. Right before they reached the bench, Estel stumbled and fell onto his knees. To Elrond it appeared that his child had no strength left to walk. The half elf helped to lower Estel to the ground more slowly so he was not harmed from falling.
Estel sat crouched on the floor for a moment before he mumbled to Elrond. "Ada, I'm going to be sick again." Estel could feel the rest of the water getting ready to come back up. He covered his eyes with his hand so he couldn't see the dancing balls of colour. They just made him dizzy.
"It is ok, Estel." Elrond said soothingly before placed the trashcan in front of Estel where the human sat on the floor. He was starting to get very worried about his child. He had not seen Estel this ill in quite a while. He wondered what had caused it. "Here you go, sweetheart. Everything is going to be all right." Elrond whispered to Estel as he put the human's other hand on the side of the trashcan.
It didn't take long before the human's whole body convulsed and he retched into the trashcan. Estel groaned as a second spasm came. After that one his stomach seemed to calm down. The Ranger uncovered his eyes and which just happened to be looking straight into the trashcan. What he saw there made him vomit a third time, though there was precious little left inside of him.
Thranduil stood rooted in place staring at the human. He was disgusted. Why did the Ranger think everyone wanted to see his illness? But this seemed different than Estel's normal belly aching about having an upset stomach. Normally the human just ran for the privy and returned later looking pale and unhappy. But this time Estel was visibly shaking with the effort of being sick. Thranduil thought the heaving looked unpleasant and before he realized what he was doing, he fetched a glass of water for the human. He vaguely wondered if Estel was loosing his granddaughter and the thought filled him with grief.
Elrond had moved over so Estel could lean against him during his illness. The human could barely stay upright. Elrond was nearly panicking inside, but outside he kept up a constant litany of reassurances to Estel. He feared that Estel was about to have a miscarriage. There were few other reasons why he would suddenly be this ill, this late in his pregnancy. Elrond cursed himself for not recognizing that Estel was ill earlier.
When Estel finished he slumped against Elrond trying to control his breathing. He felt very dizzy and really wanted to lie down right where he was. In fact, he kept trying to, but Elrond held him up so he couldn't. He was having a hard time remembering why he came in here in the first place. Elrond was singing a soft soothing lullaby to him and it was slowly dragging him into sleep. He would have succumbed, except he was cold. There was cool autumn air blowing on him from somewhere and it was irritating. He burrowed further against his father for warmth. His eyes seemed to be falling shut of their own accord.
Then he smelled something thrust under his nose. It was not a strong scent, but he could smell it none the less. Some mean, rotten, elf had put a glass of water under his nose. He instinctively pulled away from it and buried his face in Elrond's shoulder. Unfortunately, the smell reawakened him and his nausea at the same time. He knew it was pathetic, but he moaned.
"Shhh, Estel, it is all right. Try and drink something." Elrond tried to proffer the glass again to the moaning human who seemed to be trying to crawl into his tunic.
"No. I can't." Estel groaned as he tensed up. Elrond just prayed that if Estel were going to vomit again the human would remove his face from Elrond's tunic. But luckily the Ranger managed to get control of himself and come out of his stupour. "Ada, I don't feel very well."
"Evidently." Elrond said dryly. But more gently he asked. "What exactly is wrong?"
"Sick." Estel gasped. As he turned green and swallowed, finally removing his face from Elrond's shoulder.
"Could you be more specific?" He needed to know what was going on if he was going to be able to do anything about it.
"I feel really bad. So sick I can hardly move. I can't hold anything down and I can't sleep."
"How long?"
"Since around midnight last night."
Elrond mentally did the math and realized that it was going on sixteen hours. This was not good. He felt Estel start to shake again and noticed that his child was crying.
"Ada, I don't want to get as sick as I was before. I don't ever what to feel that bad again." Elrond knew exactly when Estel was referring to. Through Estel's entire early pregnancy he had been almost unbearably sick. It had abated somewhat but several months ago Estel had spent about 48 hours so ill he could not eat, sleep, drink, or even get out of bed without vomiting. His child had not mentioned it to anyone until Legolas found him collapsed on a lounge and alerted the half elf. "I don't want to hurt her, Ada. Promise me you won't let that happen." Estel sobbed.
"I know, sweetheart. I will do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. I promise." Elrond rocked Estel gently trying to calm him. Hysterics would not make his child feel any better. After a time, Elrond spoke again. "Come on. Let us get you back to bed. You must be freezing down here in front of the window." Elrond could feel Estel shivering against him.
Estel only nodded his head slowly as Elrond helped him off the floor. The change in position made Estel feel like he was going to faint, but Elrond quickly pushed the Ranger back down into a sitting position on the window seat. Once the room came back into focus he looked up at his father and nodded again. Elrond then helped him to slowly stand. This time he managed to shuffle back to his room. They did have to stop once in the hall because Estel thought he was going to be sick.
Finally they reached Estel's room, and Elrond deposited mother and daughter on the bed. The first thing the elf lord noticed was that the room was quite cold. Estel had the curtains drawn, but the windows opened, and no fire burned in the hearth. It was rather strange. Estel did not like the cold, but yet his room was quite chilly. Even now, the human huddled into a ball shivering against the cold.
"Estel, why do you have your windows opened and no fire? It is far too cold in here for you." Elrond quickly spread a spare quilt over his child.
"I got sick in here, and couldn't stand the smell." Estel whispered. He was so tired and dizzy he could hardly concentrate enough to answer questions.
"But what about the curtains and the fire?" Elrond questioned. He needed to keep Estel awake and talking long enough to get some liquids into him. He had already asked Glorfindel to have the staff prepare several things for Estel to drink.
"Shadows." Estel said, hoping his father understood. Talking was hard. His throat was so dry it was painful.
"What about shadows, my child?"
"The movements of the shadows cast the fire made me nauseous. So did the shadows from the sun."
"I see." Elrond suddenly noticed that Thranduil had followed them from the study. The king was standing in the corner by the hearth staring. Elrond did not want to draw attention to him because it might upset Estel, but he wanted the king to leave. He was tempted to try and speak directly into Thranduil's mind, but he was not sure how the other elf would react. Elrond's mind was so strong he tended to make others not used to him very uncomfortable. But his more immediate concern was Estel. He could hear his child's teeth chattering. "I think we need to light a fire anyway, dear. You need to warm up. Maybe if we keep the rest of the room well lit then the shadows won't be as noticeable."
Estel nodded again. Elrond motioned to Thranduil to build a fire. The king did not seem to understand what Elrond was telling him. Elrond had had it and spoke to the king's mind. "Thranduil, fix a fire or get out." He was rewarded by watching the proud elf flinch at the volume and then scurry to comply.
The healer turned his attention back to his patient. He needed to examine Estel. He knew his child would be more comfortable if they were alone, but he needed to have the fire built. Besides, perhaps hearing how ill Estel was would make the king treat him better. It was a long shot, but right now Elrond was running out of better options.
"Estel, I need you to uncurl so I can examine you." Elrond pushed Estel onto his back. Slowly the human uncurled from the little ball he was in. "Good sweetheart. I need to see if there is anything wrong with you. I will try not to hurt you ok. If I do, please let me know." Elrond waited for Estel to nod, and then he began his examination.
Estel did not have a fever or swollen glands, so he could rule out some sort of infection. He was, however, becoming quite dehydrated. Elrond gently placed his hand over Estel's belly and concentrated with is healing sense. Elrond could never adequately explain what this was like. Contrary to popular belief, the gift of healing was quite rare, even among the elves. Most elves could heal with herbs and skill, but few in Middle Earth could heal with touch and song. Elrond and Galadriel were among the last. What he saw with his sense was encouraging. His granddaughter was healthy, if not happy. She sensed the distress her mother was in and was becoming quite worried. Elrond did his best to reassure her. She trusted him and he felt her relax and shine a bit brighter trying to make her mother happy. Estel on the other hand tensed.
"Is she all right?" Estel sounded scared to death.
"Yes. Your little one is fine. Nothing is amiss in her world. You are providing well for her." Elrond fibbed a little but he figured it was safe to do so if it made Estel feel better.
Elrond next moved up to begin and examine Estel's abdomen. He pressed down gently on the top left hand side. Just before he began to retch, Estel moaned. "Ada, stop please. I can't stand the pressure." Elrond helped him into a sitting position and held the bowl in front of him. There was almost nothing left in Estel, so the bout quickly turned into dry heaves. Elrond felt terrible. He had forgotten that Estel could not tolerate pressure against his stomach when he felt ill.
Thranduil had just finished building the fire when he saw Estel sit up and start to vomit. Thranduil watched for a while as Estel's body was wracked by constant convulsive retches. He had never seen anything quite like it. It was revolting and looked very unpleasant. The thought of the Ranger in pain did not bring him the joy it should have. Instead he felt empathy for Elrond having to watch his child be ill.
At first, he did not believe that the half elf could or did actually love the human as anything more than a pet, but over the last few weeks he had learned that Elrond did indeed cherish the young human like one of his own. Because of that Thranduil felt the other elf lord's pain. Once, many years ago when Legolas had been very young, his son had eaten mushrooms that were mildly poisonous. They had made the young prince very ill and he had vomited and been sick for the better part of the evening. Thranduil remembered the helpless feeling of watching his child hurting and not being able to do anything about it.
Towards Estel, the king felt pity. It was obvious that the human was not doing well, but yet all he seemed to care about was his daughter. To Thranduil that showed a strength of spirit that he had not often seen in a human. As the bout continued, Thranduil began to worry that the Ranger was going to die. He did not fancy telling his son that his beloved had puked himself to death. But just when Thranduil was sure that the human could not take anymore, the bout finally subsided.
Thranduil watched as Elrond put the bowl on the side of the table. Thranduil noted with disgust there was barely anything in it. He couldn't really fathom why the Ranger had continued to retch if there was nothing in his stomach. Then the half elf pulled his child into an embrace. The king had assumed that Elrond would empty the bowl, prepare some herb, or do a million other things, not gently hug the sick human and lovingly stoke his hair. It was all very out of character for what he knew of the other elf lord.
One reason the two lords did not get along was because Thranduil thought Elrond was cold hearted. He had never seen Elrond react emotionally over anything. After the Alliance, Thranduil remembered sobbing for days over the death of his father and brothers. Elrond on the other hand did not shed a tear over any of the deaths. He remembered his father telling him that the half elf and the king were very close, but when Gil-Galad's body was borne back to camp Elrond had stood, quiet and austere, gazing at it with emotionless eyes. Eyes, which closed off the soul behind them from everyone. It made the half elf almost impossible to read.
Thranduil on the other hand was a firebrand. He ruled with emotion and always let people know exactly what he was feeling. He was easy to read and very open and artless in some ways. That difference alone made it very difficult for the two to deal with each other. But Thranduil was seeing a more emotional side of his fellow ruler right now. He was seeing Elrond soothe Estel, not trying to prevent illness, or during illness, but after wards. He was trying to convince the human to relax and not worry about what this was doing to his daughter. The king was literally speechless.
Elrond finally managed to get Estel to relax and lie back down. He quietly sang to the Ranger lulling him into a light sleep. He hated this. He could think of few things worse than having to see one of his children in pain and not being able to do anything about it. Normally he would be able to. If Estel had been injured, sick, or poisoned, he could help. He could make Estel's body mend those foreign problems, but not this. This illness was caused by Estel's own body. It was his body's natural reaction to the stress pregnancy was placing on it. If he tried to change it or alleviate it through his healing gift he may cause Estel to miscarry. There was nothing he could do and that was one of the hardest things he had ever had to admit.
He sat for a few moments stroking Estel's hair and finishing the song he had been singing, before he finally rose. He collected the bowl and a few other things to take into the bathing room. On his way the king stopped him.
"Isn't there anything you can do for him, half elf, you are supposed to be a master healer?" Thranduil surprised himself by asking, but he didn't like seeing the Ranger this sick. It was no fun to bait an injured animal.
"Don't you think I would if I could?" Elrond hissed as he twisted out of the king's grasp and stalked towards the bathing room.
Thranduil watched him go in stunned silence. He could see the pain in Elrond's eyes as the lord answered. After Elrond left the room Estel rolled over and moaned in his sleep. The human curled tightly around his stomach and shivered. Thranduil went to the side of the bed and stroked the human's long hair back from his face and whispered. "Shhh, little one, rest now. Your Ada will find a way to help you." He was pleased to note that the Ranger settled down.
He was not, however, pleased to note that Glorfindel had snuck in while he was being nice to the human. It wasn't fair. Not even other Mirkwood elves could move silently enough for Thranduil to miss them. How could Glorfindel? And on top of it all, it had to be his most hated enemy that saw him in a moment of weakness. Life was not fair.
Once away from Thranduil, Elrond indulged himself in a making a fist hard enough to leave marks on his hand. He would have liked to remain away from Thranduil for longer, but Glorfindel arrived with a tray holding several different types of liquid. As Elrond had requested, the cooks had prepared a glass of orange juice, lemonade, water, milk, chocolate milk, apple juice, and cranberry juice all ice cold and a hot cup of tea. He hoped by giving Estel a choice that the Ranger would have a better chance of keeping down the liquid. They had all learned over the months, that if something didn't taste good to Estel there was a better than average chance he would throw it back up.
Elrond took the tray from his best friend and placed it on the side table. He looked up into sympathetic sapphire blue eyes and felt slightly better. Glorfindel always had the ability to calm him down, no matter how foul his mood was, and right now his mood was getting pretty foul. He knew he had to wake Estel to try and drink something, but he didn't want to disturb the sleeping human. It was obvious, even to a non-healer, that Estel was exhausted. However, the most pressing problem was the risk of dehydration. Estel couldn't hold out much longer without fluids and the longer he went the more of a risk he put both himself and his daughter in.
So reluctantly he woke Estel. The human was grumbly and curled tighter under the covers trying to ignore whatever was disturbing his sleep. But Elrond was insistent and eventually Estel woke up.
"Sweetheart, you need to drink something. What would you like?" Elrond held out the tray to his child.
"I can't." Estel whined. The memory of what happened when he drank the water still fresh in his mind.
"You have to. Now what would you like."
"Ada, I don't think I can hold it down." Estel tried to reason with his father, but he realized that he was very thirsty. It was painful to swallow and he had a headache.
Elrond set the tray back on the table and sat down next to Estel. He rubbed the Ranger's leg lightly as he talked. "I know you feel very bad but you have to try, even if most of it comes back up. Your daughter is fine right now, but she won't be for long if you can't drink. I think we should start with some tea." Elrond reached for the cup of tea and handed it to Estel.
Estel accepted it docilely. He didn't want it. He took a small sip and almost gagged at the taste. He had had to drink this accursed tea at least twice a day every day for months and he hated it. He was so tired of it. The smell of it alone was enough to make him feel nauseous. For the rest of his life he would not be able to stand the smell, taste, or sight of this tea. It would remind him of months of constantly having an upset stomach. During the time of the fellowship, Sam would worry that Estel was trying to poison Frodo because he refused to go near the tea he had asked Sam to fix. Even sixty plus years later he would still avoid it like the plague.
He took a second sip and had to fight even harder not to gag. He could feel his eyes burn with tears. He wanted to drink it. He wanted it to make him feel better and help his daughter, but he just couldn't. Elrond just didn't understand that. The half elf had no idea what it was like to feel like this. He couldn't comprehend how nauseating it was for Estel to put anything in his mouth, much less swallow it.
After the third sip Estel pushed the cup away towards his father. Elrond looked displeased. "Estel, you need to drink more than that. You barely had three teaspoons. It can't help you if you don't drink it." Elrond tried to be stern, but he could see tears in Estel's eyes again.
"I know. I just can't drink it right now. Why don't you understand that?" Estel was starting to get angry. He was mad at his father for forcing him to drink, he was mad at his daughter for making him sick, and he was mad at himself for not being able to handle it better after all of this time.
Thranduil had had enough. Yes, Estel was sick, but it was just an upset stomach. If the tea would stop it, why didn't he drink it? Frankly he was beginning to think that the whole thing was in the Ranger's head. He spoke up. "Oh for the love of the Valar, just drink the damn tea and stop acting like a child. What kind of warrior are you if you can't take a little upset stomach?"
Estel glared at the king. "Fine." Estel grabbed the cup and drained it in one swallow. It burned his tongue and throat. "Are you happy now?" Estel shot back at the king. He knew he was acting like a baby, but he didn't care. He would rather have 10 broken bones than have to put up with this merciless nausea. Thranduil had no idea how bad he felt if he thought it was just a little upset stomach.
"Thranduil, get out." Elrond spoke in a lethally calm voice.
"I have just as much right to be here as you do, half elf. It is my grandchild too." Thranduil argued. He didn't know why he wanted to stay, he just did. Rather, he hated to admit that some part of him was starting to feel paternal towards the Ranger and the child he carried.
Both the powerful elf lords were pulled away from their argument by Estel trying to get out of bed. Elrond realized what was going on and immediately handed Estel the bowl to vomit in. Since less than two minutes had passed, Elrond guess that the tea must have burned just as much coming back up as going down. He helped steady Estel during his illness while he contemplated dumping the bowl on the king's head.
"Ada, can I please sleep for a little while? I don't think I can hold anything down right now. I feel really, really sick." Estel had to impress on his father that he couldn't swallow anything right now. It would be disastrous.
"Yes, dear, sleep for a bit. I will wake you later to try again." Elrond didn't worry too much about soothing Estel, because it appeared the human was almost asleep already. "I will be right here when you wake up."
Elrond sighed after he was sure Estel was asleep. Then he rounded on Thranduil. "What exactly is the matter with you?"
"What do you mean, half elf?"
"I mean are you blind? Do you not see that he is ill, yet you still bait him and purposely upset him? Why?"
"I have my reasons." But his reasons were becoming less clear. His mind may have told him that it would be better for Estel to loose the child, but his heart told him that he would love to hear a little elfling running around his halls again. He almost smiled at the idea of his beloved Legolas going through all of the joy that he went through as a parent.
"I don't care what your reasons are. Get out. You are only making him feel worse and I won't allow that." Elrond was having a hard time keeping his irritation in check.
"Since when does a lord order a king around, Master half elf?" Thranduil said smugly. He had always thought that Elrond should not get the power or the respect of a king if he was not willing to take the responsibility as well.
The bickering continued quietly between them for another half hour or so. Estel was dead to the world until he woke up with a start, already retching. Elrond barely managed to get the bowl under him in time. Much to Estel's dismay, this began another round of violent dry heaving that lasted for almost fifteen minutes.
After five minutes of almost nonstop retching, Estel finally whimpered. "Ada, why won't it stop? What is wrong with me?" Estel realized that Thranduil was still in his room and he wanted to seem brave and strong, but he really did feel either one of those things right now. After a few more minutes he didn't have the strength to sit up anymore and Elrond had to hold the bowl under his face as Estel collapsed on his side.
Elrond was getting worried after the first two minutes. This was not normal. There was no reason for Estel vomit if there was nothing in his stomach to make him feel nauseous. Then Estel had whimpered and Elrond's heart broke but all he could do was hold onto his child and offer what comfort he could.
However, things got worse. About half way through, Estel started to choke up pieces of tissue. To Thranduil they looked like strips of uncooked bacon. They were a meaty pink colour with veins of white running through them. The king himself almost lost it when he saw Estel having trouble bringing one up so the human had reached into the back of his throat and pulled the long piece of tissue out of his mouth. That was followed by several retches that brought up warm red blood. Estel hissed in pain, but couldn't stop the heaving.
As soon as Elrond saw the tissue he immediately checked his child over with his healing senses. He feared that Estel had ruptured his esophagus or worse. But luckily, the human had only torn away the lining of his stomach. A very painful and unpleasant happening, but no more harmful than pulling off too much skin from your lip. Estel had unfortunately done this several times during his early pregnancy so was not overly frightened by it. But ,when the bout finally ended Elrond didn't know which one of them was more relieved.
The half elf healer wiped Estel's face with a cool cloth and then rested it on the human's forehead. "There you go, just try and relax." Elrond chattered as he cleaned up hoping the one sided conversation would give Estel something to concentrate on.
"Ada, can I have some water? My throat hurts." Estel's voice sounded weak and hoarse.
"Of course. Drink slowly." Elrond handed his child a large glass of ice water. His healer side told him that he should give Estel water at room temperature because it would easier on his stomach, but he also knew that Estel had a better time tolerating very cold drinks. He watched as Estel sipped at the water. The Ranger didn't have enough strength to put the glass back on the table, so Elrond had to do it for him.
Estel rested with his eyes closed, hoping and praying he could keep the water down, that was when it hit. Stomach cramps. His stomach absolutely did not like having ice cold water thrown into it after being empty for so long. He doubled over groaning when they hit. It felt like someone was trying to tear his stomach out through his side. But even through all the pain, he managed to keep the few sips of water down so he guessed it wasn't that bad. They didn't end until Elrond placed his warm hand against Estel's stomach and concentrated. Cramps he could fix.
Soon Estel quieted into sleep and Elrond rose to clean up. Thranduil again stopped him. "What is wrong with him? Is he alright?"
"Careful, someone might think you are concerned" Elrond snarked. But then he saw that the king truly was concerned. "He has vomited up the lining of his stomach. It is not life threatening, just very painful. He has done it a few times before. He will keep vomiting for most of the night until it stops bleeding. There is no way to stop it. Human stomachs just cannot digest large amounts of blood. He will be ill and he will be in pain, but he will survive." Elrond sighed. "I just wish he didn't have to go through this."
And for the first time, Thranduil began to understand what Estel had been dealing with for months. He had often thought that the weak human had been exaggerating his illness, or lying. However, now that he was faced with the reality of it he could not deny that the poor human was badly sick and he felt sorry for him. "I understand."
That was how the next three days went. Estel was unable to hold down much of anything other than very cold lemonade, he found he could tolerate it better than water, or tea. On the morning of the third day he was able to drink some broth, but only a little because the salty taste made him queasy. He did better with a concoction of yogurt, honey, and milk. For some reason the sweet taste didn't bother him as much. The only other thing that kept him alive during that time was frozen juice. Because it dropped down below freezing at night now, the chefs could freeze watered down juice for him. They had frozen orange, apple, grape, cherry, and pear. He didn't like the pear. Cherry was the easiest for him to keep down.
However, even though he had made the leap to opaque liquids he still was very unhappy and sick feeling. All of is hard earned knowledge about what he could tolerate and what he couldn't came from trial and error. And, what he could eat one day may make him sick as dog the next. He was exhausted and depressed. He was so depressed in fact, that Elrond was in his study right now trying to figure out if it was safe to give St. John's Wort to a pregnant woman.
Estel had just finished half a glass of yogurt goo and needed a distraction from his churning tummy. He had been in bed for three days and was bored. He did not feel well enough to get up and go anywhere nor would his father let him, but he also couldn't sleep right now either. Elrond was in his study. Glorfindel was preparing for night training with the troops. Erestor was more boring than sitting here alone, and he wanted nothing to do with Thranduil. Estel sighed and looked out of the window hoping someone would come and visit him.
That same morning on the road east of Rivendell, Legolas still couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to get back. Three days ago he sensed something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He had urged the others to travel at an exhausting pace because of his fears and the twins were not going to take it any more. Elladan had forced the Prince to slow down to a more manageable speed so they could rest the horses. Legolas was not happy, but appreciated the twins' desire to not get a lecture from Glorfindel on how to treat a horse.
So they rode along that morning and Elrohir tried to engage Legolas in a conversation to attempt to take his mind off of whatever was wrong with Estel. "So what did you get Estel in Bree? I saw the package so don't try to deny it."
Legolas blushed but answered. "A ring. I know it is stupid, it is not like we are betrothed, but I want him to know that I care about him always. And I got a matching necklace for our daughter. I would have preferred to have a craftsman in Rivendell make them, but no one would."
Both twins exchanged worried looks. "Maybe you should wait until Ada is in a good mood before giving them to Estel."
"Why, he is not angry with me anymore? I should think he would be happy that I am giving his child gifts, especially expensive jewelry."
"That's the problem, Legolas, jewelry." Elrohir stretched the last word out to make it three syllables.
"What's wrong with jewelry? I thought it was traditional gift. My father always gave my mother jewels and gems. Did not Elrond do so?" Legolas thought that perhaps Elrond had not the money for such things. After all, Elrond controlled only a small valley while Thranduil had all of Mirkwood but he had always heard that Imladris was more profitable.
"No, our father gave our mother exactly one piece of jewelry, her wedding ring." Elladan answered.
"Yeah, Ada doesn't like gems and jewelry." Elrohir finished quickly.
"Why?" Legolas then thought back to Rivendell, and suddenly realized that he had not seen anyone wearing jewelry except for Elrond's wedding ring and Glorfindel's necklace with a golden flower on it. It was so different from Mirkwood where elves would pack on as much finery as they could to show their wealth.
"Long story. He has just always had this thing against gems and jewelry. If you ask him, he says something about having his entire life dictated by other people's greed over gems and jewelry or as he calls them 'trinkets and baubles.' Anyway, I don't know what he will think of you giving Estel a ring or your daughter a necklace." Elrohir tried to give the short explanation, hoping Legolas remembered his history. For his part, Legolas had never thought about it before, but it made sense. Between the Silmirils and the Rings of Power, he was not surprised Elrond did not like jewelry.
"Very well then, we will see what type of a mood he is in when we arrive, which should be soon."
Elrond sat in his study hunched over several texts. Gil-Galad had joked with the half elf often about his love of books and knowledge. The High King had once joked that when the royal painters did their portrait of Elrond they would have to paint him surrounded by books, with his fingers blackened from ink, chewing on the end of his quill in thought. Elrond had laughed at the king's gentle reprimand and agreed to spend more time socializing with the other elves. Of course he would be reprimanded and agree to socialize about every two weeks because he was always more comfortable around paper than people.
But right now paper was his only hope. He was searching for a way to help Estel. He was pleased that Estel seemed to be doing better today, but he was still worried. His granddaughter would not be able to take her mother's lack of food much longer. Estel had no more stored fat for either of them to live off anymore. He realized that at least part of Estel's problem was depression. The poor human was so melancholy it was almost painful for Elrond to be around him. But unfortunately much of that depression was caused by his illness. It was a vicious circle and he needed to find a way to end it.
He had moved onto about the thirtieth text when a servant entered his study. Elrond paid him little attention. Over the years, he had grown used to them coming in every so often and putting food on the side of his desk so that he would eat. But this time the elf stood in front of the desk waiting to be acknowledged.
"What is it?" Elrond tried not to sound irritated for at being interrupted.
"My Lord, your sons and the Prince have returned. They should reach the stables very shortly."
"Thank you. Please inform Thranduil." Elrond made an effort to sound happy. In truth he was dreading telling Legolas about Estel's condition. He just hoped the prince wasn't as histrionic as his father.
Elrond went to the front of the house to wait for his sons and Legolas. He tried not to fidget while he waited. Finally he was rewarded with a group of travel stained elves coming up his walk way. He noted they were all covered from head to toe in mud. He knew it was raining outside of the valley. In truth it should be raining in it as well, but he kept the rain away to try and cheer Estel up.
Legolas felt his blood go to ice when he saw the Lord of Imladris standing outside waiting for them. Elrond looked tired and worried. Mix that with Estel's absence and the prince could feel his hands shake. His feeling was right, there was something wrong and he hadn't been here to help. And the last conversation he had had with his love had been a fight. His mouth went dry with fear.
"What news from the Istari?" Elrond questioned his sons.
"Nothing, Ada. No one has heard from him. We left another message and hope that he will soon return it." Elrohir answered and embraced his father. After his mother's capture the twin had decided that he was not too old to get hugs.
Elrond ushered his weary children inside and turned to Legolas. The prince seemed to be rooted to his spot staring at the half elf. "Legolas, we need to talk."
"Something is wrong with Estel and my daughter isn't it?" Legolas could feel his voice shake. Elrond shook his head. "Are they going to be all right?"
"I do not know. Estel is very ill." Elrond watched as tears started to fall from Legolas's blue eyes. He felt for the young elf. He knew how much the prince loved Estel and he could well imagine how hard it was to know Estel was ill because of him. He put his arm around Legolas's shoulders and led the elf inside. He explained what was wrong with Estel and answered what questions he could.
"Can I go see him?"
"Yes. Just try not to upset him too much. He needs to stay as calm and quiet as possible." Elrond walked with the prince to Estel's room but stopped at the door. "Go on, he has missed you."
Legolas opened the door and crept in. He moved quietly in case Estel was asleep. The Ranger was on his side facing away from the door so Legolas walked over to stand in front of him. Estel was dozing lightly, but opened his eyes as soon as he sensed someone in front of him. Legolas wanted to cry when he saw his love. Estel looked thin and very sick. He had to fight to stop tears from coming to his eyes.
"Legolas!" Estel sounded so happy to see him that the elf dropped down to his knees and immediately took one of Estel's hands while using his other to stroke his love's face. "I am so glad you are back. I missed you." Legolas said nothing. He was too choked up from the onslaught of feelings. He had been worried that Estel might be angry with him for their fight, but it appeared that the human was not. The prince simply continued to gently run his fingers along Estel's face and hair. "I am sorry about before you left. I promise I won't complain again. I just don't want you to be mad at me." Estel sounded on the verge of tears.
"Shh, my love, don't worry. You have nothing to apologize for. It was my fault I should have realized I was hurting you. I was not angry at you, but myself for hurting you." Legolas soothed the human who had started to cry in earnest.
"No, it is my fault. I can't even give you sex anymore without screwing it up. Please forgive me. Please don't hate me." Estel cried.
"I don't hate you. I love you. Truly, there is nothing to forgive. And you can still give me sex, there are many other positions we can try that would not cause you pain."
Estel sniffled. "There are?"
"Yes." Legolas felt a smile tug at his lips. He sometimes forgot how inexperienced the Ranger was. "But not now. Elrond tells me you haven't been feeling too well."
"I guess not." Estel finally sat up. His daughter had started to bounce up and down merrily at the sound of her father's voice.
"Well we can't have that, now can we? What can I do to help?" Legolas moved up to sit on the bed facing Estel.
"I don't know. Tell your daughter to stop making me sick?" Estel rubbed his hand along his swollen abdomen.
"Ok." Legolas leaned towards Estel's belly and spoke in a hushed whisper to his friend's stomach. Estel could not make out what was being said, but the situation was so ludicrous he giggled anyway. "She says that she is sorry. She will try to do better." Legolas rested his hand over top of Estel's tummy and Estel interlaced their fingers as Legolas rubbed his hand up and down.
Estel sighed in contentment. The only thing that would be better was if Legolas would hold him. It had been two weeks since the prince had left and Estel was craving his touch. But he certainly did not feel well enough for sex right now. Instead he closed is eyes and leaned his head back trying to capture the moment in his memory.
Legolas looked at his friend. It bothered him greatly how gaunt Estel looked. The Ranger's hands looked as if the skin had just been stretched over the bone. The same could be said about his face. But at least his daughter seemed hale and hearty even if her mother looked frail. Estel seemed to be relaxed, so Legolas thought this might be a good time to ask a question that had been bothering him for two weeks.
"Estel?"
"Hmm."
"Why did you say we could have sex again if it hurt you? Why would you put yourself through that?"
Estel lifted his head up and opened his eyes but refused to look at Legolas. "I wanted to make you happy so you hold me." Estel dropped his eyes even further when he was done talking. He didn't want to see the look on Legolas's face when the elf realized how weak and pathetic he was.
"Why didn't you just ask?"
"Because, you only hold me when I am sick or after we have sex. I was upset and wanted to be held and that was the only way I could think of. I didn't think you would want to cuddle with me if you didn't have to." Estel chanced a peak at his friend. Legolas looked thoughtful.
"You're wrong. Of course I want to cuddle you, love. I enjoy it as much as you do. It just seemed to me that when you were sick or after sex were the only times that you let me hug you. Every other time you shy away."
"Really?"
"Really." Legolas smiled. "Do you want to cuddle now?" Legolas leaned in closer with his muddy tunic.
Estel giggled again. "No, you're all dirty. Take a bath first." He mocked shoved the elf away. Legolas smiled back at him. Estel froze for a moment. This was more movement than he had had in days and it was making him sick. He leaned over past Legolas and grabbed his bowl. In short order he threw back up part of his yogurt goo.
When he was finished he closed his eyes and covered his mouth. "Sorry." He was mad at himself for ruining their good time. It seemed he always ruined the good times by getting sick.
"That's ok, sweetheart. I am the one who should be apologizing. Elrond told me not to get you excited and I guess I did. Can you forgive me?"
"Yes. If you eat and clean up and come back and hold me for a little while." Estel answered somewhat unsure of Legolas's reaction.
The elf smiled. "How about a long while?" He took the bowl and cleaned it out returning it to Estel. "Now rest till I get back. I want to hear all about your last two weeks." Estel sank down on the bed and closed his eyes, tired already by the excitement. He would sleep until Legolas returned.
Legolas waited until Estel was asleep, then slipped from the room. On the way down the hall to his room he ran into Elrond carrying a tray of food. "I don't think he is going to want that. He just threw up."
"Oh." Elrond looked down dejected. "I had hoped he was feeling better."
"He looks so awful."
"I know. He needs to eat and regain his strength. She is draining him as fast as he can replenish it. Try and make him eat after you clean up. He does not have to eat a lot, even a little is better than nothing." Elrond left the tray by Estel's door and turned towards his chamber. "If you need me I will be in my study." Elrond wearily returned to his work. He had had precious little sleep in the last few days and it was beginning to show. Maybe now that Legolas was back he could rest for a bit.
This chapter had to be loaded in three parts because it was so long. I guess I need to learn to write shorter chapters. The second part should be up in a day or two. Anyway, I hope you enjoy.
-Naja
See first chapter for disclaimers.
ESTEL/ESTELLE
The next week passed by without much incident. With the humans gone, the house had fallen back into its normal routine including Estel studying under Thranduil. The king was beginning to make Estel nervous because he kept standing close and trying to touch him. If Estel didn't know any better, he would think Thranduil was trying to be friendly. However, as soon as Estel would let his guard down the king would make some comment about his daughter being taken from him. The whole dance was making him dizzy.
Today had been particularly bad. Thranduil had alternated between telling him what a horrible person he was and how unfit he was to be a parent and rubbing his belly. Estel normally liked having his tummy rubbed, but not by Thranduil. It wasn't that the king was rough, but Estel just didn't like the way it felt. But at least he didn't tickle like Legolas always did. He could feel his daughter try and get away from the king, not that she had anywhere to go.
At the end of his lesson he was happy to be away from the king, even if it meant he was to go to his weakly check up. Elrond had decided early in Estel's pregnancy that it would be wise to keep close tabs on his health. So every week Estel went with is father to the infirmary and got weighed, examined, and asked very personal questions. He didn't really care for it, but he saw the wisdom.
Estel wandered down to the infirmary to meet Elrond, munching on a gingerbread cookie the chef had given him. He had felt better the last few days than he had in months. He had only thrown up once all day yesterday and he didn't feel that queasy right now. Maybe the worst was finally over. The book Elrond had given him months ago said that pregnancy illness usually disappeared abruptly and mysteriously. Perhaps that was what was happening finally. He whistled while he walked, pleased that for once he could notice the beauty of the day.
Elrond was already waiting for his child, when Estel arrived. He noticed that the Ranger seemed uncharacteristically cheerful. "Good afternoon. How has your day been?"
"Surprisingly good, and yours?" Estel beamed back happily.
"Fine. I had a long meeting with Erestor this morning about running our own sheep rather than buying wool from nearby villages. It was most inspirational." Elrond sardonically replied. Then he set about taking Estel's weight and measurements. He was pleased to note that the Ranger had put on over two pounds since last week and almost half an inch around his belly.
"I thought my clothes felt tighter." Estel answered the news with his own. But he was actually very happy. If he was putting on weight it meant that she was healthy and she was growing. He was so happy in fact that he didn't mind answering the round of questions about what he had eaten during the week and what had stayed down verses what hadn't. Normally he didn't like those questions, but today he didn't care.
The only thing he liked about these weekly check ups was that he and Elrond had time to talk. Elrond would often listen to him rant or cry for and hour or more over some trivial thing that was bothering him. Every week before he went into the infirmary he swore to himself that he would not loose it and have a breakdown in front of his father and every week he did. However, this week he really had nothing more to complain about. It was just such a good day.
When they finally finished, it was time for lunch and Estel greatly enjoyed his half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and glass of cold milk. Then Elrond asked if he wanted to play chess and Estel took him up on the offer. It wasn't often that Elrond had time to play games and if he did he usually spent them with Glorfindel. Estel felt special. The two chatted about the weather and the goings on in the valley.
Finally Estel asked a question that had been bothering him for months. "Ada, what do you think I should do? I mean after she is born." This was one of the many questions that kept Estel up at nights.
"That will really be up to you and Legolas, not me or Thranduil." Elrond had to bite his lip from answering the way that he wanted. He wanted to tell his child that he should stay in Rivendell with his daughter where they would both be safe and happy until Estel's dying day. However, he knew that was not Estel's path.
"I know. But if it were you, what would you do?" Estel had a hard time even imagining his father in this situation. Estel had yet to tell anyone about Thranduil's threat. He hoped that the king would change his mind. Also, half of him was afraid that even Elrond would agree with Thranduil that Estel should not be allowed to raise her.
"If it were me, I would do what is best for my child regardless of how I felt. If that meant giving up a life of adventure to raise her or giving her up to someone with a safer home, then I would do it." Elrond answered. He didn't want to sway Estel into doing what he wanted but he did feel he needed to add. "She will always have a home in my valley though. I would wish my granddaughter close to me even if my child cannot always be." Estel seemed to visibly relax at hearing this.
Estel knew that he may not have the chance to raise her as his own, but he hoped that Elrond would be willing to keep her. He guessed that Legolas would want her, but he really didn't see how the elf was in any better position to have a child than he was. Both of them had rather transient life styles. Elrond on the other hand rarely left his valley and was a wonderful father. However, Estel was still a little too shy to ask the lord about it yet.
So instead, he asked him another question that had been bothering him. "What do you think I should name her?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Because, I feel kind of funny just calling her 'she' all the time. She needs a name, a pretty one." Estel moved his night into check position.
"I can't pick her name for you, sweetheart. That is something she must tell you." Elrond expertly countered the attack.
"How can she tell me what her name is if I haven't told her yet?"
"Don't worry, she will. Besides, even if she doesn't, I am sure you and Legolas will come up with something very lovely for such a lovely elfling."
"I hope so. I would hate for her to be stuck with an ugly name or something that doesn't fit her."
"Have some confidence in yourself. You will do just fine. I will show you a book of names after lunch, ok?" Estel nodded in answer and returned his attention to the chess game that he was about to lose.
The rest of the night passed quietly because the boisterous younger elves were all on their way home from Bree. Estel relaxed on the floor in front of the fire in Elrond's study thinking on the names for his daughter and listening to Glorfindel relate a story about Gil-Galad. Thranduil and Elrond would add parts to the story as well but Estel wasn't really paying much attention to the words, more the constant rhythmic sound of speech. He was just relaxing and watching the fire dance when he started to feel nauseous. He hoped it would go away so he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the story instead of his churning tummy.
He was upset that he was starting to feel sick. He felt so much better all day long and he didn't want to spoil it now. He had gone all day without vomiting and that was the first time since he found out he was pregnant. As the ill feeling started to get worse Estel felt like crying. He had been so happy all day. It just wasn't fair.
Less than ten minutes after he started to feel sick, he quietly got up and left the room waving a good night to the three elves. All but Thranduil looked up to see him go wishing him a good night. It was only 8:30, but he hadn't napped at all so he was tired. He slowly walked back to his room trying not to upset his stomach any worse. When he reached it he was glad to see that the staff had already lit the fire and filled his bedside pitcher with ice and water. He poured a glass and sipped at it hoping to feel better. It worked enough for him to change into sleeping clothes. He quickly curled up in his cold bed and tried to sleep through his nausea.
He managed to sleep till around midnight when the need to vomit woke him up. All he had time to do was sit up and reach for the bowl beside his bed before he lost a portion of his diner. When he was finished he leaned back panting for a moment. He was miserable that his good day had been ruined.
He slowly rose from his bed, feeling the entire room spin, as he tried to go to his bathing room to rinse out both his mouth and the basin. Just the act of getting out of bed made him double over and retch again. He staggered into the bathing room, barely able to stand. He cleaned up as fast as his shaking hands would let him and collapsed on the chase lounge feeling like he was about to faint. He lay there for the next few hours trying to sleep without much success. He hadn't brought any blankets and it was very cold. Plus every time he started to doze off he would wake up with a start, feeling like he needed to be sick.
Around four in the morning he gave up and took his bowl back to his bed. He thought he might have a better chance sleeping there. It didn't help. He still felt just as bad, and now when he did actually vomit he had to get out of bed and walk into the bathroom rather than just stumbling the few steps from the lounge. He didn't want to use the bowl because he hated having to clean it out. As he curled up on his bed, he tried to block out the way the shadows cast from the fire danced on the wall. Their constant movements made him feel even worse.
By morning he felt no better, but decided to get up and go to breakfast anyway. He hoped eating something would settle his stomach, after all isn't that what everyone kept telling him to do. "Eat something, Estel, then you will feel better. Everyone knows that is how you get rid of pregnancy illness." He doubted it would though. Each time he had taken the smallest sip of water it had come back up, usually before the water had even warmed to body temperature.
He slowly slid into his chair trying to look more chipper than he felt. He had washed and gotten dressed but he had just put his hair in a long braid down his back. He knew he looked terrible, he just hoped no one would notice. When the meal was served, he tried to eat some toast but the idea of swallowing it made bile rise in the back of his already raw throat. His tea didn't seem to help, mostly because he had only taken a few sips and was afraid to take anymore.
After ten minutes he had slipped out without anyone noticing. The other elves were discussing something that he didn't care to pay attention to. He had tried to get Elrond's attention to ask his permission to leave the table, but the lord had ignored him. He left without permission before he embarrassed himself by getting sick at the table again.
He went to the closest privy and lost his morning tea. He was thirsty from not having any liquids for several hours. He rested his head against the cool stone bowl and considered his options. Elrond had told him to come and alert the half elf if he started feeling very bad or could hold anything down for over 24 hours. It had only been about nine hours since the relentless nausea had started, but he did feel worse than he had in months. He groaned as his stomach turned over sickeningly. He would try and stick it out. He was bound to feel better soon.
Decision made, he dragged himself up and headed to the study to meet Thranduil for his lessons. He was a bit early, and sat at his favourite spot, on the chase lounge overlooking the gardens. It was the warmest in the room in the mornings. He often liked to nap here. He tried to stay sitting up, but he only lasted a few minutes before he ended up horizontal. He knew Thranduil didn't like when his student reclined during lessons, but Estel didn't think he could stay upright for long.
Estel stayed there for about half an hour trying not to cry. The nausea was unreal. He literally couldn't function. Every time he moved he felt like he needed to be sick. If he even so much as blinked too hard he felt bile burn his throat. All he could do was lie very still as the never ending waves of nausea crashed against him threatening to drown him. He knew Thranduil would never allow his pupil to stay like this, so Estel resolved to ask the king for the morning off.
Thranduil arrived about a half hour after Estel had collapsed on the couch. He noticed that the Ranger literally looked green. He didn't move or even open his eyes when the king entered. Though Thranduil knew Estel was awake from the tension in his muscles, but there was no movement at all. He walked up to Estel and looked him over. He looked worse than Thranduil had seen him in quite a while. He had a fleeting thought that he should summon Elrond, then changed his mind. No matter what he personally felt about his granddaughter, it would still be best if she weren't born.
Thranduil was brought from his musings by Estel's strangled voice. "Can we skip the lesson today? I am not feeling very well this morning." Estel said through clenched teeth.
That was clearly an understatement as far as Thranduil was concerned. "If you wish. But I would prefer that you didn't waste my time by asking me to teach you and then saying that you are too sick to learn. How ill do you have to be to not be able to sit in a chair and listen? After all, it is just a little upset stomach. It is all in your head. You truly are weak Estel. I hope my new daughter has her father's strength." Thranduil noted that Estel did not even seem to register the insult. He had instead slowly pushed himself into a sitting position and then sat there panting for a moment.
"Could you hand me a glass of water?" Estel almost whimpered. He thought he was about to toss his cookies, but he knew he didn't have the strength to get to the privy. He hoped the water would help and if nothing else he could vomit in the glass.
Thranduil complied without argument before he realized what he was doing. The Ranger thanked him and accepted the water, taking a single sip. He then slowly rose and staggered out of the room. Thranduil watched Estel leave feeling more concerned than he thought he would.
Estel made it back to his room before he bent over retching up bile and mucus into a green fluffy splat in his sink. He then collapsed in an exhausted heap in his bed. Now there was no stopping the tears. Maybe he was weak, after all it was only a "little upset stomach." He eventually cried himself into a much needed sleep.
The rest didn't last long though. Half an hour later, his daughter's movements woke him. Over the past week he had become more aware of her movements and they seemed to be stronger. Now they were so strong they could wake him up even though he was exhausted. He cursed under his breath and rolled over trying to go back to sleep. However, the mere act of rolling over was enough to send the room into a tale spin and violently reawaken his nausea. He managed to fight down the urge to vomit but he felt sick enough to.
Estel spent the next six hours or so resting in his bed trying not to move a single muscle. If he made the mistake of moving he would double over retching almost uncontrollably. He tried to ignore his growing thirst, but it was becoming harder and harder. He hadn't been able to hold down any liquid for hours and his throat was raw and sore. He had felt this bad many times during his early pregnancy, but it had started to get better except for the time when Legolas had found him on the chase lounge. The memories of that day and the one prior were some of the most unpleasant of his life. There was no worse feeling in the world than feeling like you are dying of thirst when there is a full pitcher of water on your side table. Estel never wanted to feel that way again.
When it was time for lunch, he played dead. The servant who came to summon him assumed his was asleep and, as per Elrond's orders, left him sleeping. He did prepare a tray, though, and brought it to the sleeping human. He left it on the side table and refilled the pitcher. Through all of this Estel did not move. Although, it was very difficult to stay still when he caught the smell of lunch.
After the servant left, Estel immediately got up and flushed the soup down the privy. He realized as he stood, fighting back the urge to dry heave, that his legs were very shaky. He made it the whole way into the bathing room and back out before he lost his battle with his heaving stomach. Half way back to his bed he bent over and uselessly retched into a towel he had grabbed. His dry heaving continued for several minutes and Estel's knees could no longer hold him up. He collapsed to the ground on all fours, choking.
When the fit finally subsided he was so weak he had to crawl back on his hands and knees. He hated dry heaving. Not only was it unpleasant, but it hurt, especially against his dry throat. And there was always the fear that he would do himself some real damage. As if that weren't enough, his daughter was displeased and began banging at his belly with all of her might. Estel felt anxious and distressed far beyond what he should and he didn't know why. He wanted to wrap his arms around his belly to hold her, but he couldn't stand the pressure against his stomach.
Instead, he settled for resting a hand against his tummy and speaking to her. "Please calm down, sweetheart. I am sorry about this. I didn't mean to up set you." He repeated the litany until she quieted and even he felt calmer.
Estel hoped that if he waited just a little bit longer, than the relentless nausea would subside. There were isolated times before when he would feel this bad. He would vomit five or ten times in an hour but then twenty minutes later he would feel back to his normal mildly queasy self.
By 3:30 in the afternoon, he realized that he needed help. He slowly rose from bed and drank a whole glass of water. He would rather throw back up water than dry heave.
He slowly staggered to his door and began to make his way towards Elrond's study. He prayed the half elf would be there. He had to lean against the walls for support. It took him quite a while, but he finally made it to the ornately carved doors and sagged against them in relief. He could hear his father on the other side. He weakly knocked on the door and Elrond bade him to enter. It took Estel a moment to work up the strength to push open the door, he felt that weak.
Once he finally did, he felt his stomach attempt to pitch the water out. Elrond had asked him something, he didn't know what, and he had opened his mouth to answer. The next thing he realized was that he was retching up water and bile onto Elrond's rug.
Elrond had been cloistered in his study with Thranduil, trying to find someway to get along with the prickly king. He wasn't having any luck. He was beginning to doubt his diplomacy skills because he just couldn't seem to find any common ground between the two. There was too much water under the bridge for the powerful elves to ever really get along. However, he would make the effort for Estel and his granddaughter.
The two were discussing orc problems and Thranduil was again bemoaning that Elrond had tried to send troops to help him out in Mirkwood. Thranduil seemed to take Elrond's gesture to mean that the king could not protect his own lands. Elrond was at his wit's end and was contemplating throwing the other elf out of the window, when he heard a weak knock at his door. He assumed it was a servant and bade them to enter. He would not have cared if it were Sauron himself, as long as it gave him a reason to ignore the king.
A few breaths past before the door finally opened to reveal a very bedraggled looking Estel. The human looked horrible. Estel was pale as a ghost with deep circles under his eyes. He swayed slightly and his aura looked weak. He stood with his shoulders slumped and one hand resting on his tummy.
Elrond could tell immediately there was something wrong with his child. He questioned Estel to determine what it was. "Estel, dear child, what is the matter?" Elrond moved towards Estel to catch the human in case he fell. Instead, Estel opened his mouth as if to answer Elrond, and vomited on the floor. Elrond barely got out of the way in time.
The half elf put a hand out to steady Estel but talked to Thranduil. "Hand me that trashcan will you?" Elrond held his other hand out to the king. Thranduil complied wordlessly. Elrond found some small pleasure in the fact that the king was starting to look slightly green himself. It turned out that the trashcan was not needed because Estel only retched one time.
When he was finished, Estel covered his mouth with his the back of his hand and weakly said. "Mmm sorry, Ada." He really was too. He hadn't meant for that to happen. He would have felt bad enough about puking on Elrond's rug, but then he noticed Thranduil off to the corner. Estel figured the king would just use this as another excuse why he wasn't good enough to raise his daughter. Estel started to see green and black balls dancing in front of his eyes. He needed to sit down.
Luckily, Elrond took him by the shoulder and steered him towards Estel's favourite window seat. Right before they reached the bench, Estel stumbled and fell onto his knees. To Elrond it appeared that his child had no strength left to walk. The half elf helped to lower Estel to the ground more slowly so he was not harmed from falling.
Estel sat crouched on the floor for a moment before he mumbled to Elrond. "Ada, I'm going to be sick again." Estel could feel the rest of the water getting ready to come back up. He covered his eyes with his hand so he couldn't see the dancing balls of colour. They just made him dizzy.
"It is ok, Estel." Elrond said soothingly before placed the trashcan in front of Estel where the human sat on the floor. He was starting to get very worried about his child. He had not seen Estel this ill in quite a while. He wondered what had caused it. "Here you go, sweetheart. Everything is going to be all right." Elrond whispered to Estel as he put the human's other hand on the side of the trashcan.
It didn't take long before the human's whole body convulsed and he retched into the trashcan. Estel groaned as a second spasm came. After that one his stomach seemed to calm down. The Ranger uncovered his eyes and which just happened to be looking straight into the trashcan. What he saw there made him vomit a third time, though there was precious little left inside of him.
Thranduil stood rooted in place staring at the human. He was disgusted. Why did the Ranger think everyone wanted to see his illness? But this seemed different than Estel's normal belly aching about having an upset stomach. Normally the human just ran for the privy and returned later looking pale and unhappy. But this time Estel was visibly shaking with the effort of being sick. Thranduil thought the heaving looked unpleasant and before he realized what he was doing, he fetched a glass of water for the human. He vaguely wondered if Estel was loosing his granddaughter and the thought filled him with grief.
Elrond had moved over so Estel could lean against him during his illness. The human could barely stay upright. Elrond was nearly panicking inside, but outside he kept up a constant litany of reassurances to Estel. He feared that Estel was about to have a miscarriage. There were few other reasons why he would suddenly be this ill, this late in his pregnancy. Elrond cursed himself for not recognizing that Estel was ill earlier.
When Estel finished he slumped against Elrond trying to control his breathing. He felt very dizzy and really wanted to lie down right where he was. In fact, he kept trying to, but Elrond held him up so he couldn't. He was having a hard time remembering why he came in here in the first place. Elrond was singing a soft soothing lullaby to him and it was slowly dragging him into sleep. He would have succumbed, except he was cold. There was cool autumn air blowing on him from somewhere and it was irritating. He burrowed further against his father for warmth. His eyes seemed to be falling shut of their own accord.
Then he smelled something thrust under his nose. It was not a strong scent, but he could smell it none the less. Some mean, rotten, elf had put a glass of water under his nose. He instinctively pulled away from it and buried his face in Elrond's shoulder. Unfortunately, the smell reawakened him and his nausea at the same time. He knew it was pathetic, but he moaned.
"Shhh, Estel, it is all right. Try and drink something." Elrond tried to proffer the glass again to the moaning human who seemed to be trying to crawl into his tunic.
"No. I can't." Estel groaned as he tensed up. Elrond just prayed that if Estel were going to vomit again the human would remove his face from Elrond's tunic. But luckily the Ranger managed to get control of himself and come out of his stupour. "Ada, I don't feel very well."
"Evidently." Elrond said dryly. But more gently he asked. "What exactly is wrong?"
"Sick." Estel gasped. As he turned green and swallowed, finally removing his face from Elrond's shoulder.
"Could you be more specific?" He needed to know what was going on if he was going to be able to do anything about it.
"I feel really bad. So sick I can hardly move. I can't hold anything down and I can't sleep."
"How long?"
"Since around midnight last night."
Elrond mentally did the math and realized that it was going on sixteen hours. This was not good. He felt Estel start to shake again and noticed that his child was crying.
"Ada, I don't want to get as sick as I was before. I don't ever what to feel that bad again." Elrond knew exactly when Estel was referring to. Through Estel's entire early pregnancy he had been almost unbearably sick. It had abated somewhat but several months ago Estel had spent about 48 hours so ill he could not eat, sleep, drink, or even get out of bed without vomiting. His child had not mentioned it to anyone until Legolas found him collapsed on a lounge and alerted the half elf. "I don't want to hurt her, Ada. Promise me you won't let that happen." Estel sobbed.
"I know, sweetheart. I will do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. I promise." Elrond rocked Estel gently trying to calm him. Hysterics would not make his child feel any better. After a time, Elrond spoke again. "Come on. Let us get you back to bed. You must be freezing down here in front of the window." Elrond could feel Estel shivering against him.
Estel only nodded his head slowly as Elrond helped him off the floor. The change in position made Estel feel like he was going to faint, but Elrond quickly pushed the Ranger back down into a sitting position on the window seat. Once the room came back into focus he looked up at his father and nodded again. Elrond then helped him to slowly stand. This time he managed to shuffle back to his room. They did have to stop once in the hall because Estel thought he was going to be sick.
Finally they reached Estel's room, and Elrond deposited mother and daughter on the bed. The first thing the elf lord noticed was that the room was quite cold. Estel had the curtains drawn, but the windows opened, and no fire burned in the hearth. It was rather strange. Estel did not like the cold, but yet his room was quite chilly. Even now, the human huddled into a ball shivering against the cold.
"Estel, why do you have your windows opened and no fire? It is far too cold in here for you." Elrond quickly spread a spare quilt over his child.
"I got sick in here, and couldn't stand the smell." Estel whispered. He was so tired and dizzy he could hardly concentrate enough to answer questions.
"But what about the curtains and the fire?" Elrond questioned. He needed to keep Estel awake and talking long enough to get some liquids into him. He had already asked Glorfindel to have the staff prepare several things for Estel to drink.
"Shadows." Estel said, hoping his father understood. Talking was hard. His throat was so dry it was painful.
"What about shadows, my child?"
"The movements of the shadows cast the fire made me nauseous. So did the shadows from the sun."
"I see." Elrond suddenly noticed that Thranduil had followed them from the study. The king was standing in the corner by the hearth staring. Elrond did not want to draw attention to him because it might upset Estel, but he wanted the king to leave. He was tempted to try and speak directly into Thranduil's mind, but he was not sure how the other elf would react. Elrond's mind was so strong he tended to make others not used to him very uncomfortable. But his more immediate concern was Estel. He could hear his child's teeth chattering. "I think we need to light a fire anyway, dear. You need to warm up. Maybe if we keep the rest of the room well lit then the shadows won't be as noticeable."
Estel nodded again. Elrond motioned to Thranduil to build a fire. The king did not seem to understand what Elrond was telling him. Elrond had had it and spoke to the king's mind. "Thranduil, fix a fire or get out." He was rewarded by watching the proud elf flinch at the volume and then scurry to comply.
The healer turned his attention back to his patient. He needed to examine Estel. He knew his child would be more comfortable if they were alone, but he needed to have the fire built. Besides, perhaps hearing how ill Estel was would make the king treat him better. It was a long shot, but right now Elrond was running out of better options.
"Estel, I need you to uncurl so I can examine you." Elrond pushed Estel onto his back. Slowly the human uncurled from the little ball he was in. "Good sweetheart. I need to see if there is anything wrong with you. I will try not to hurt you ok. If I do, please let me know." Elrond waited for Estel to nod, and then he began his examination.
Estel did not have a fever or swollen glands, so he could rule out some sort of infection. He was, however, becoming quite dehydrated. Elrond gently placed his hand over Estel's belly and concentrated with is healing sense. Elrond could never adequately explain what this was like. Contrary to popular belief, the gift of healing was quite rare, even among the elves. Most elves could heal with herbs and skill, but few in Middle Earth could heal with touch and song. Elrond and Galadriel were among the last. What he saw with his sense was encouraging. His granddaughter was healthy, if not happy. She sensed the distress her mother was in and was becoming quite worried. Elrond did his best to reassure her. She trusted him and he felt her relax and shine a bit brighter trying to make her mother happy. Estel on the other hand tensed.
"Is she all right?" Estel sounded scared to death.
"Yes. Your little one is fine. Nothing is amiss in her world. You are providing well for her." Elrond fibbed a little but he figured it was safe to do so if it made Estel feel better.
Elrond next moved up to begin and examine Estel's abdomen. He pressed down gently on the top left hand side. Just before he began to retch, Estel moaned. "Ada, stop please. I can't stand the pressure." Elrond helped him into a sitting position and held the bowl in front of him. There was almost nothing left in Estel, so the bout quickly turned into dry heaves. Elrond felt terrible. He had forgotten that Estel could not tolerate pressure against his stomach when he felt ill.
Thranduil had just finished building the fire when he saw Estel sit up and start to vomit. Thranduil watched for a while as Estel's body was wracked by constant convulsive retches. He had never seen anything quite like it. It was revolting and looked very unpleasant. The thought of the Ranger in pain did not bring him the joy it should have. Instead he felt empathy for Elrond having to watch his child be ill.
At first, he did not believe that the half elf could or did actually love the human as anything more than a pet, but over the last few weeks he had learned that Elrond did indeed cherish the young human like one of his own. Because of that Thranduil felt the other elf lord's pain. Once, many years ago when Legolas had been very young, his son had eaten mushrooms that were mildly poisonous. They had made the young prince very ill and he had vomited and been sick for the better part of the evening. Thranduil remembered the helpless feeling of watching his child hurting and not being able to do anything about it.
Towards Estel, the king felt pity. It was obvious that the human was not doing well, but yet all he seemed to care about was his daughter. To Thranduil that showed a strength of spirit that he had not often seen in a human. As the bout continued, Thranduil began to worry that the Ranger was going to die. He did not fancy telling his son that his beloved had puked himself to death. But just when Thranduil was sure that the human could not take anymore, the bout finally subsided.
Thranduil watched as Elrond put the bowl on the side of the table. Thranduil noted with disgust there was barely anything in it. He couldn't really fathom why the Ranger had continued to retch if there was nothing in his stomach. Then the half elf pulled his child into an embrace. The king had assumed that Elrond would empty the bowl, prepare some herb, or do a million other things, not gently hug the sick human and lovingly stoke his hair. It was all very out of character for what he knew of the other elf lord.
One reason the two lords did not get along was because Thranduil thought Elrond was cold hearted. He had never seen Elrond react emotionally over anything. After the Alliance, Thranduil remembered sobbing for days over the death of his father and brothers. Elrond on the other hand did not shed a tear over any of the deaths. He remembered his father telling him that the half elf and the king were very close, but when Gil-Galad's body was borne back to camp Elrond had stood, quiet and austere, gazing at it with emotionless eyes. Eyes, which closed off the soul behind them from everyone. It made the half elf almost impossible to read.
Thranduil on the other hand was a firebrand. He ruled with emotion and always let people know exactly what he was feeling. He was easy to read and very open and artless in some ways. That difference alone made it very difficult for the two to deal with each other. But Thranduil was seeing a more emotional side of his fellow ruler right now. He was seeing Elrond soothe Estel, not trying to prevent illness, or during illness, but after wards. He was trying to convince the human to relax and not worry about what this was doing to his daughter. The king was literally speechless.
Elrond finally managed to get Estel to relax and lie back down. He quietly sang to the Ranger lulling him into a light sleep. He hated this. He could think of few things worse than having to see one of his children in pain and not being able to do anything about it. Normally he would be able to. If Estel had been injured, sick, or poisoned, he could help. He could make Estel's body mend those foreign problems, but not this. This illness was caused by Estel's own body. It was his body's natural reaction to the stress pregnancy was placing on it. If he tried to change it or alleviate it through his healing gift he may cause Estel to miscarry. There was nothing he could do and that was one of the hardest things he had ever had to admit.
He sat for a few moments stroking Estel's hair and finishing the song he had been singing, before he finally rose. He collected the bowl and a few other things to take into the bathing room. On his way the king stopped him.
"Isn't there anything you can do for him, half elf, you are supposed to be a master healer?" Thranduil surprised himself by asking, but he didn't like seeing the Ranger this sick. It was no fun to bait an injured animal.
"Don't you think I would if I could?" Elrond hissed as he twisted out of the king's grasp and stalked towards the bathing room.
Thranduil watched him go in stunned silence. He could see the pain in Elrond's eyes as the lord answered. After Elrond left the room Estel rolled over and moaned in his sleep. The human curled tightly around his stomach and shivered. Thranduil went to the side of the bed and stroked the human's long hair back from his face and whispered. "Shhh, little one, rest now. Your Ada will find a way to help you." He was pleased to note that the Ranger settled down.
He was not, however, pleased to note that Glorfindel had snuck in while he was being nice to the human. It wasn't fair. Not even other Mirkwood elves could move silently enough for Thranduil to miss them. How could Glorfindel? And on top of it all, it had to be his most hated enemy that saw him in a moment of weakness. Life was not fair.
Once away from Thranduil, Elrond indulged himself in a making a fist hard enough to leave marks on his hand. He would have liked to remain away from Thranduil for longer, but Glorfindel arrived with a tray holding several different types of liquid. As Elrond had requested, the cooks had prepared a glass of orange juice, lemonade, water, milk, chocolate milk, apple juice, and cranberry juice all ice cold and a hot cup of tea. He hoped by giving Estel a choice that the Ranger would have a better chance of keeping down the liquid. They had all learned over the months, that if something didn't taste good to Estel there was a better than average chance he would throw it back up.
Elrond took the tray from his best friend and placed it on the side table. He looked up into sympathetic sapphire blue eyes and felt slightly better. Glorfindel always had the ability to calm him down, no matter how foul his mood was, and right now his mood was getting pretty foul. He knew he had to wake Estel to try and drink something, but he didn't want to disturb the sleeping human. It was obvious, even to a non-healer, that Estel was exhausted. However, the most pressing problem was the risk of dehydration. Estel couldn't hold out much longer without fluids and the longer he went the more of a risk he put both himself and his daughter in.
So reluctantly he woke Estel. The human was grumbly and curled tighter under the covers trying to ignore whatever was disturbing his sleep. But Elrond was insistent and eventually Estel woke up.
"Sweetheart, you need to drink something. What would you like?" Elrond held out the tray to his child.
"I can't." Estel whined. The memory of what happened when he drank the water still fresh in his mind.
"You have to. Now what would you like."
"Ada, I don't think I can hold it down." Estel tried to reason with his father, but he realized that he was very thirsty. It was painful to swallow and he had a headache.
Elrond set the tray back on the table and sat down next to Estel. He rubbed the Ranger's leg lightly as he talked. "I know you feel very bad but you have to try, even if most of it comes back up. Your daughter is fine right now, but she won't be for long if you can't drink. I think we should start with some tea." Elrond reached for the cup of tea and handed it to Estel.
Estel accepted it docilely. He didn't want it. He took a small sip and almost gagged at the taste. He had had to drink this accursed tea at least twice a day every day for months and he hated it. He was so tired of it. The smell of it alone was enough to make him feel nauseous. For the rest of his life he would not be able to stand the smell, taste, or sight of this tea. It would remind him of months of constantly having an upset stomach. During the time of the fellowship, Sam would worry that Estel was trying to poison Frodo because he refused to go near the tea he had asked Sam to fix. Even sixty plus years later he would still avoid it like the plague.
He took a second sip and had to fight even harder not to gag. He could feel his eyes burn with tears. He wanted to drink it. He wanted it to make him feel better and help his daughter, but he just couldn't. Elrond just didn't understand that. The half elf had no idea what it was like to feel like this. He couldn't comprehend how nauseating it was for Estel to put anything in his mouth, much less swallow it.
After the third sip Estel pushed the cup away towards his father. Elrond looked displeased. "Estel, you need to drink more than that. You barely had three teaspoons. It can't help you if you don't drink it." Elrond tried to be stern, but he could see tears in Estel's eyes again.
"I know. I just can't drink it right now. Why don't you understand that?" Estel was starting to get angry. He was mad at his father for forcing him to drink, he was mad at his daughter for making him sick, and he was mad at himself for not being able to handle it better after all of this time.
Thranduil had had enough. Yes, Estel was sick, but it was just an upset stomach. If the tea would stop it, why didn't he drink it? Frankly he was beginning to think that the whole thing was in the Ranger's head. He spoke up. "Oh for the love of the Valar, just drink the damn tea and stop acting like a child. What kind of warrior are you if you can't take a little upset stomach?"
Estel glared at the king. "Fine." Estel grabbed the cup and drained it in one swallow. It burned his tongue and throat. "Are you happy now?" Estel shot back at the king. He knew he was acting like a baby, but he didn't care. He would rather have 10 broken bones than have to put up with this merciless nausea. Thranduil had no idea how bad he felt if he thought it was just a little upset stomach.
"Thranduil, get out." Elrond spoke in a lethally calm voice.
"I have just as much right to be here as you do, half elf. It is my grandchild too." Thranduil argued. He didn't know why he wanted to stay, he just did. Rather, he hated to admit that some part of him was starting to feel paternal towards the Ranger and the child he carried.
Both the powerful elf lords were pulled away from their argument by Estel trying to get out of bed. Elrond realized what was going on and immediately handed Estel the bowl to vomit in. Since less than two minutes had passed, Elrond guess that the tea must have burned just as much coming back up as going down. He helped steady Estel during his illness while he contemplated dumping the bowl on the king's head.
"Ada, can I please sleep for a little while? I don't think I can hold anything down right now. I feel really, really sick." Estel had to impress on his father that he couldn't swallow anything right now. It would be disastrous.
"Yes, dear, sleep for a bit. I will wake you later to try again." Elrond didn't worry too much about soothing Estel, because it appeared the human was almost asleep already. "I will be right here when you wake up."
Elrond sighed after he was sure Estel was asleep. Then he rounded on Thranduil. "What exactly is the matter with you?"
"What do you mean, half elf?"
"I mean are you blind? Do you not see that he is ill, yet you still bait him and purposely upset him? Why?"
"I have my reasons." But his reasons were becoming less clear. His mind may have told him that it would be better for Estel to loose the child, but his heart told him that he would love to hear a little elfling running around his halls again. He almost smiled at the idea of his beloved Legolas going through all of the joy that he went through as a parent.
"I don't care what your reasons are. Get out. You are only making him feel worse and I won't allow that." Elrond was having a hard time keeping his irritation in check.
"Since when does a lord order a king around, Master half elf?" Thranduil said smugly. He had always thought that Elrond should not get the power or the respect of a king if he was not willing to take the responsibility as well.
The bickering continued quietly between them for another half hour or so. Estel was dead to the world until he woke up with a start, already retching. Elrond barely managed to get the bowl under him in time. Much to Estel's dismay, this began another round of violent dry heaving that lasted for almost fifteen minutes.
After five minutes of almost nonstop retching, Estel finally whimpered. "Ada, why won't it stop? What is wrong with me?" Estel realized that Thranduil was still in his room and he wanted to seem brave and strong, but he really did feel either one of those things right now. After a few more minutes he didn't have the strength to sit up anymore and Elrond had to hold the bowl under his face as Estel collapsed on his side.
Elrond was getting worried after the first two minutes. This was not normal. There was no reason for Estel vomit if there was nothing in his stomach to make him feel nauseous. Then Estel had whimpered and Elrond's heart broke but all he could do was hold onto his child and offer what comfort he could.
However, things got worse. About half way through, Estel started to choke up pieces of tissue. To Thranduil they looked like strips of uncooked bacon. They were a meaty pink colour with veins of white running through them. The king himself almost lost it when he saw Estel having trouble bringing one up so the human had reached into the back of his throat and pulled the long piece of tissue out of his mouth. That was followed by several retches that brought up warm red blood. Estel hissed in pain, but couldn't stop the heaving.
As soon as Elrond saw the tissue he immediately checked his child over with his healing senses. He feared that Estel had ruptured his esophagus or worse. But luckily, the human had only torn away the lining of his stomach. A very painful and unpleasant happening, but no more harmful than pulling off too much skin from your lip. Estel had unfortunately done this several times during his early pregnancy so was not overly frightened by it. But ,when the bout finally ended Elrond didn't know which one of them was more relieved.
The half elf healer wiped Estel's face with a cool cloth and then rested it on the human's forehead. "There you go, just try and relax." Elrond chattered as he cleaned up hoping the one sided conversation would give Estel something to concentrate on.
"Ada, can I have some water? My throat hurts." Estel's voice sounded weak and hoarse.
"Of course. Drink slowly." Elrond handed his child a large glass of ice water. His healer side told him that he should give Estel water at room temperature because it would easier on his stomach, but he also knew that Estel had a better time tolerating very cold drinks. He watched as Estel sipped at the water. The Ranger didn't have enough strength to put the glass back on the table, so Elrond had to do it for him.
Estel rested with his eyes closed, hoping and praying he could keep the water down, that was when it hit. Stomach cramps. His stomach absolutely did not like having ice cold water thrown into it after being empty for so long. He doubled over groaning when they hit. It felt like someone was trying to tear his stomach out through his side. But even through all the pain, he managed to keep the few sips of water down so he guessed it wasn't that bad. They didn't end until Elrond placed his warm hand against Estel's stomach and concentrated. Cramps he could fix.
Soon Estel quieted into sleep and Elrond rose to clean up. Thranduil again stopped him. "What is wrong with him? Is he alright?"
"Careful, someone might think you are concerned" Elrond snarked. But then he saw that the king truly was concerned. "He has vomited up the lining of his stomach. It is not life threatening, just very painful. He has done it a few times before. He will keep vomiting for most of the night until it stops bleeding. There is no way to stop it. Human stomachs just cannot digest large amounts of blood. He will be ill and he will be in pain, but he will survive." Elrond sighed. "I just wish he didn't have to go through this."
And for the first time, Thranduil began to understand what Estel had been dealing with for months. He had often thought that the weak human had been exaggerating his illness, or lying. However, now that he was faced with the reality of it he could not deny that the poor human was badly sick and he felt sorry for him. "I understand."
That was how the next three days went. Estel was unable to hold down much of anything other than very cold lemonade, he found he could tolerate it better than water, or tea. On the morning of the third day he was able to drink some broth, but only a little because the salty taste made him queasy. He did better with a concoction of yogurt, honey, and milk. For some reason the sweet taste didn't bother him as much. The only other thing that kept him alive during that time was frozen juice. Because it dropped down below freezing at night now, the chefs could freeze watered down juice for him. They had frozen orange, apple, grape, cherry, and pear. He didn't like the pear. Cherry was the easiest for him to keep down.
However, even though he had made the leap to opaque liquids he still was very unhappy and sick feeling. All of is hard earned knowledge about what he could tolerate and what he couldn't came from trial and error. And, what he could eat one day may make him sick as dog the next. He was exhausted and depressed. He was so depressed in fact, that Elrond was in his study right now trying to figure out if it was safe to give St. John's Wort to a pregnant woman.
Estel had just finished half a glass of yogurt goo and needed a distraction from his churning tummy. He had been in bed for three days and was bored. He did not feel well enough to get up and go anywhere nor would his father let him, but he also couldn't sleep right now either. Elrond was in his study. Glorfindel was preparing for night training with the troops. Erestor was more boring than sitting here alone, and he wanted nothing to do with Thranduil. Estel sighed and looked out of the window hoping someone would come and visit him.
That same morning on the road east of Rivendell, Legolas still couldn't shake the feeling that he needed to get back. Three days ago he sensed something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He had urged the others to travel at an exhausting pace because of his fears and the twins were not going to take it any more. Elladan had forced the Prince to slow down to a more manageable speed so they could rest the horses. Legolas was not happy, but appreciated the twins' desire to not get a lecture from Glorfindel on how to treat a horse.
So they rode along that morning and Elrohir tried to engage Legolas in a conversation to attempt to take his mind off of whatever was wrong with Estel. "So what did you get Estel in Bree? I saw the package so don't try to deny it."
Legolas blushed but answered. "A ring. I know it is stupid, it is not like we are betrothed, but I want him to know that I care about him always. And I got a matching necklace for our daughter. I would have preferred to have a craftsman in Rivendell make them, but no one would."
Both twins exchanged worried looks. "Maybe you should wait until Ada is in a good mood before giving them to Estel."
"Why, he is not angry with me anymore? I should think he would be happy that I am giving his child gifts, especially expensive jewelry."
"That's the problem, Legolas, jewelry." Elrohir stretched the last word out to make it three syllables.
"What's wrong with jewelry? I thought it was traditional gift. My father always gave my mother jewels and gems. Did not Elrond do so?" Legolas thought that perhaps Elrond had not the money for such things. After all, Elrond controlled only a small valley while Thranduil had all of Mirkwood but he had always heard that Imladris was more profitable.
"No, our father gave our mother exactly one piece of jewelry, her wedding ring." Elladan answered.
"Yeah, Ada doesn't like gems and jewelry." Elrohir finished quickly.
"Why?" Legolas then thought back to Rivendell, and suddenly realized that he had not seen anyone wearing jewelry except for Elrond's wedding ring and Glorfindel's necklace with a golden flower on it. It was so different from Mirkwood where elves would pack on as much finery as they could to show their wealth.
"Long story. He has just always had this thing against gems and jewelry. If you ask him, he says something about having his entire life dictated by other people's greed over gems and jewelry or as he calls them 'trinkets and baubles.' Anyway, I don't know what he will think of you giving Estel a ring or your daughter a necklace." Elrohir tried to give the short explanation, hoping Legolas remembered his history. For his part, Legolas had never thought about it before, but it made sense. Between the Silmirils and the Rings of Power, he was not surprised Elrond did not like jewelry.
"Very well then, we will see what type of a mood he is in when we arrive, which should be soon."
Elrond sat in his study hunched over several texts. Gil-Galad had joked with the half elf often about his love of books and knowledge. The High King had once joked that when the royal painters did their portrait of Elrond they would have to paint him surrounded by books, with his fingers blackened from ink, chewing on the end of his quill in thought. Elrond had laughed at the king's gentle reprimand and agreed to spend more time socializing with the other elves. Of course he would be reprimanded and agree to socialize about every two weeks because he was always more comfortable around paper than people.
But right now paper was his only hope. He was searching for a way to help Estel. He was pleased that Estel seemed to be doing better today, but he was still worried. His granddaughter would not be able to take her mother's lack of food much longer. Estel had no more stored fat for either of them to live off anymore. He realized that at least part of Estel's problem was depression. The poor human was so melancholy it was almost painful for Elrond to be around him. But unfortunately much of that depression was caused by his illness. It was a vicious circle and he needed to find a way to end it.
He had moved onto about the thirtieth text when a servant entered his study. Elrond paid him little attention. Over the years, he had grown used to them coming in every so often and putting food on the side of his desk so that he would eat. But this time the elf stood in front of the desk waiting to be acknowledged.
"What is it?" Elrond tried not to sound irritated for at being interrupted.
"My Lord, your sons and the Prince have returned. They should reach the stables very shortly."
"Thank you. Please inform Thranduil." Elrond made an effort to sound happy. In truth he was dreading telling Legolas about Estel's condition. He just hoped the prince wasn't as histrionic as his father.
Elrond went to the front of the house to wait for his sons and Legolas. He tried not to fidget while he waited. Finally he was rewarded with a group of travel stained elves coming up his walk way. He noted they were all covered from head to toe in mud. He knew it was raining outside of the valley. In truth it should be raining in it as well, but he kept the rain away to try and cheer Estel up.
Legolas felt his blood go to ice when he saw the Lord of Imladris standing outside waiting for them. Elrond looked tired and worried. Mix that with Estel's absence and the prince could feel his hands shake. His feeling was right, there was something wrong and he hadn't been here to help. And the last conversation he had had with his love had been a fight. His mouth went dry with fear.
"What news from the Istari?" Elrond questioned his sons.
"Nothing, Ada. No one has heard from him. We left another message and hope that he will soon return it." Elrohir answered and embraced his father. After his mother's capture the twin had decided that he was not too old to get hugs.
Elrond ushered his weary children inside and turned to Legolas. The prince seemed to be rooted to his spot staring at the half elf. "Legolas, we need to talk."
"Something is wrong with Estel and my daughter isn't it?" Legolas could feel his voice shake. Elrond shook his head. "Are they going to be all right?"
"I do not know. Estel is very ill." Elrond watched as tears started to fall from Legolas's blue eyes. He felt for the young elf. He knew how much the prince loved Estel and he could well imagine how hard it was to know Estel was ill because of him. He put his arm around Legolas's shoulders and led the elf inside. He explained what was wrong with Estel and answered what questions he could.
"Can I go see him?"
"Yes. Just try not to upset him too much. He needs to stay as calm and quiet as possible." Elrond walked with the prince to Estel's room but stopped at the door. "Go on, he has missed you."
Legolas opened the door and crept in. He moved quietly in case Estel was asleep. The Ranger was on his side facing away from the door so Legolas walked over to stand in front of him. Estel was dozing lightly, but opened his eyes as soon as he sensed someone in front of him. Legolas wanted to cry when he saw his love. Estel looked thin and very sick. He had to fight to stop tears from coming to his eyes.
"Legolas!" Estel sounded so happy to see him that the elf dropped down to his knees and immediately took one of Estel's hands while using his other to stroke his love's face. "I am so glad you are back. I missed you." Legolas said nothing. He was too choked up from the onslaught of feelings. He had been worried that Estel might be angry with him for their fight, but it appeared that the human was not. The prince simply continued to gently run his fingers along Estel's face and hair. "I am sorry about before you left. I promise I won't complain again. I just don't want you to be mad at me." Estel sounded on the verge of tears.
"Shh, my love, don't worry. You have nothing to apologize for. It was my fault I should have realized I was hurting you. I was not angry at you, but myself for hurting you." Legolas soothed the human who had started to cry in earnest.
"No, it is my fault. I can't even give you sex anymore without screwing it up. Please forgive me. Please don't hate me." Estel cried.
"I don't hate you. I love you. Truly, there is nothing to forgive. And you can still give me sex, there are many other positions we can try that would not cause you pain."
Estel sniffled. "There are?"
"Yes." Legolas felt a smile tug at his lips. He sometimes forgot how inexperienced the Ranger was. "But not now. Elrond tells me you haven't been feeling too well."
"I guess not." Estel finally sat up. His daughter had started to bounce up and down merrily at the sound of her father's voice.
"Well we can't have that, now can we? What can I do to help?" Legolas moved up to sit on the bed facing Estel.
"I don't know. Tell your daughter to stop making me sick?" Estel rubbed his hand along his swollen abdomen.
"Ok." Legolas leaned towards Estel's belly and spoke in a hushed whisper to his friend's stomach. Estel could not make out what was being said, but the situation was so ludicrous he giggled anyway. "She says that she is sorry. She will try to do better." Legolas rested his hand over top of Estel's tummy and Estel interlaced their fingers as Legolas rubbed his hand up and down.
Estel sighed in contentment. The only thing that would be better was if Legolas would hold him. It had been two weeks since the prince had left and Estel was craving his touch. But he certainly did not feel well enough for sex right now. Instead he closed is eyes and leaned his head back trying to capture the moment in his memory.
Legolas looked at his friend. It bothered him greatly how gaunt Estel looked. The Ranger's hands looked as if the skin had just been stretched over the bone. The same could be said about his face. But at least his daughter seemed hale and hearty even if her mother looked frail. Estel seemed to be relaxed, so Legolas thought this might be a good time to ask a question that had been bothering him for two weeks.
"Estel?"
"Hmm."
"Why did you say we could have sex again if it hurt you? Why would you put yourself through that?"
Estel lifted his head up and opened his eyes but refused to look at Legolas. "I wanted to make you happy so you hold me." Estel dropped his eyes even further when he was done talking. He didn't want to see the look on Legolas's face when the elf realized how weak and pathetic he was.
"Why didn't you just ask?"
"Because, you only hold me when I am sick or after we have sex. I was upset and wanted to be held and that was the only way I could think of. I didn't think you would want to cuddle with me if you didn't have to." Estel chanced a peak at his friend. Legolas looked thoughtful.
"You're wrong. Of course I want to cuddle you, love. I enjoy it as much as you do. It just seemed to me that when you were sick or after sex were the only times that you let me hug you. Every other time you shy away."
"Really?"
"Really." Legolas smiled. "Do you want to cuddle now?" Legolas leaned in closer with his muddy tunic.
Estel giggled again. "No, you're all dirty. Take a bath first." He mocked shoved the elf away. Legolas smiled back at him. Estel froze for a moment. This was more movement than he had had in days and it was making him sick. He leaned over past Legolas and grabbed his bowl. In short order he threw back up part of his yogurt goo.
When he was finished he closed his eyes and covered his mouth. "Sorry." He was mad at himself for ruining their good time. It seemed he always ruined the good times by getting sick.
"That's ok, sweetheart. I am the one who should be apologizing. Elrond told me not to get you excited and I guess I did. Can you forgive me?"
"Yes. If you eat and clean up and come back and hold me for a little while." Estel answered somewhat unsure of Legolas's reaction.
The elf smiled. "How about a long while?" He took the bowl and cleaned it out returning it to Estel. "Now rest till I get back. I want to hear all about your last two weeks." Estel sank down on the bed and closed his eyes, tired already by the excitement. He would sleep until Legolas returned.
Legolas waited until Estel was asleep, then slipped from the room. On the way down the hall to his room he ran into Elrond carrying a tray of food. "I don't think he is going to want that. He just threw up."
"Oh." Elrond looked down dejected. "I had hoped he was feeling better."
"He looks so awful."
"I know. He needs to eat and regain his strength. She is draining him as fast as he can replenish it. Try and make him eat after you clean up. He does not have to eat a lot, even a little is better than nothing." Elrond left the tray by Estel's door and turned towards his chamber. "If you need me I will be in my study." Elrond wearily returned to his work. He had had precious little sleep in the last few days and it was beginning to show. Maybe now that Legolas was back he could rest for a bit.