The dark is stealing my senses, my mind. It wraps me completely in the most intimate embrace, pressed close to my skin and filling my eyes. The silence hangs in the air like a suffocating lover, crushing me beneath him in terrible ecstasy. This play of total oblivion seems almost... what, comforting, now. Final. Then why is it not peaceful, instead it rages on me, adding scar upon scar to my battered soul.
But my silence is not total, it has relented somehow, why why why, think it means something if I could just remember what it means. Its just here somewhere, I know its important very important that the quiet is interrupted...
THEY ARE COMING! the thought sends my mind reeling again.
Caught between the awful pit of silent darkness and the terror of the Dark ones, I'm screaming again.
Maybe if I'm still, yes, quiet and very still.
They aren't coming, They are leaving. Are you real? You seem so like him, but crushed down and draped in filth. The cloak, so like his was. At school, black and full. But yours is torn and stained with russet (is that blood, oh please no). I can't reach you, the pain of moving. My chains reach their end, the sound not even stirring you. Are you dead, have They hung you there as a signal, that I'm next? The traitor for the Light, perfect spy, were you loyal to us? Is this the proof? Please, wake and tell me.
The mark, this tree bears the Dark Mark! Why is it here in my garden?
No, fight this! Stay in the dungeon, wake him, find your voice and WAKE HIM. Ah, that is gone too, remember. I thought of everything. So I couldn't betray, no matter what They did. And They did try girl, didn't They? Your silence kept you alive, while They sought to break it. Break YOU. They...yes They need to hear the screams, my screams. I managed a much better prison for myself than They have provided me, didn't I? I removed my voice, and now They have provided darkness and silence for me as well, all blackness and shadow, all colour wiped from the world in my cosy little cell.
But there is light in here somewhere, the sound of rushing water, music of nature... just slip back into that, its here, I just had it...
NO, stay here, find out, tree or man, are you a memory, a figment of my fevered brain, or wonder of horrors, are you real?
I need to know, is it him? The dark hair, but in this shadow, all is dark. I can't see your face. Turn your face to me. Insult me, cajole me, tell me its weak and foolish to slip back into the garden.
Please let me know, are you REAL??
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Another day, the light comes. Light, no just lack of inky oblivion. Is it the moon? Where is the window? No, They love the night; play in the night, this light is day, somehow from somewhere, real or bewitched.
They are bringing you in, hanging from my wall, such a puzzling tree...
No, not tree, man. Arms chained to a heavy bar setting on your back... and hung from this dungeon wall. That's where I am, in the cold, on the wet stone floor, filthy and starving, but They come for him now, not me. giggling hysterically waiting for the break in blackness that I know think must somehow be the sun, the faint glow just enough to see you there, almost make out who you are, if you are, see if you will wake, talk to me, tell me which is dream here or there? Maybe I sleep in the grass, and this is only nightmare.
Think think think, so many hours to try before the dark comes and They take you away again. If I could only reach you, somehow touch your arm so tantalizingly close. Damn these chains, I can't stretch, the pain is so great. Just a few inches more, and I can wake you.
Not dead, you are asleep. I can hear you breathe. I match it with my own. Why put you so close if you won't talk to me, tell me if this is real, or the garden? The light is fading, footfalls on the stone. I feel the march of your demons, vibrating through the floor to me. Retreat, fade back, sleep...sleep...if I could only sleep.
Where do you go? What do They do to you? Are you mad too?
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I can nearly reach you now, if only your cloak were thicker, a fold of it is just near my hand here. I've tried to claw at the chains, but the stone is hard and my hands, They've done something to my hands... boiled them clean?
No, I will not think about it. I know you are real, and I am awake now, in this nightmare. I cannot speak, and it's my own fault. I am so far gone, I actually want the madness now. I've hidden there so often these past days, I don't know how much longer I can safely stay there and still fight my way back out.
Always a cell in the dark, but now there is just you in the pale and meagre light that comes every morning. They don't come for me anymore, the demons in black hoods, Death Eaters They are. I wish They had brought me death, I fear They will bring me something worse soon.
I know how I got here, a letter for the Order, a demon in the darkness, pain and fear and horrible plans and finally here, with you.
How did you get here? Is this a test? If I wake you will They end this? I will stay here when They take you next, They can wake you I'm sure. These new ones, They ignore me as you do. Make me think I'm not here. I know I am, you would know, too, if I could just reach you...
Professor, please, answer me! You can hear my thoughts I know it, if I can scream them loud enough.
No? Ok, then if not loud, how about insistent. Simple, relentless, sane would help. 'LOOK, I cannot speak,' over and over I try,'LOOK, I cannot speak, LOOK, I cannot speak, LOOK, I cannot speak,' please look at me.
They are here, IT IS YOU! That voice, your face!
"Traitorous snake, its time again. Didn't you miss us?" They taunt you. Why do you look at them, but never me?
"Is it morning already? I'm sure I haven't missed you at all, every evil thought has hit you squarely..." Your voice is gone now, you looked this way and didn't see. Maybe I'm not really here then, maybe if I just wake up. Birds, I can hear birds, and smell the sweet grass...
Tell me cruel black tree, faded memory from schooldays and this never-ending war... do you know the answers...can you tell me tell me...
Am I real??
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