Miyumi
In Thy Memory
A Justice League fic
A/N: Hawkgirl questions the life she and Green Lantern lived many years later. Told in her POV.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and opening poem, which is actually a poem from Green Lantern to Hawkgirl. Cartoon Network, please give me Hawkgirl and Green Lantern. I only want them to be together forever, I swear.
~*~
Something about the way you walk,
Makes me smile, makes me long.
Something about the way you kiss,
Just keeps me going on.
I don't know why I fell in love with you,
Maybe it's just because I'm a person just like you.
It's something that draws me closer,
Like a butterfly, to the flame.
Eyes that draw me in,
A tear that makes me cry.
Your words make me a better man,
I yearn for your applause.
And when the sunlight, dawns on your face,
It drives me crazy, looking in your jaded eyes.
I can't escape it-I'm drawing near and near.
But I don't ever want to leave,
Because I'm happy here.
It's what makes me smile.
Something about you.
Deep inside.
~*~
It was our sight that I feared would go first.
The ability to see is a key part of Thanagarian life, especially as a detective. When you lose your sight, you lose the ability to be a useful part of Thanagarian culture. You lose the chance to be a better person.
You can no longer see the people-or person, you love.
Being away from Thanagar so long made me I weak, I fear. Decades after the Justice League retired, I found myself becoming tired easily, and not able to pull the work I could do so easily as a young detective.
Youth. A word I never treasured until now.
I think of my youth every day in this cursed state. As I pad around wrapped in sweaters and blankets, I remember flying almost naked, held back by nothing but my yellow top, green pants, and sturdy red boots. My reliable mace, now hung in a place of honor over our bed, does not remain dusty. I treasure that instrument of destruction. I remember what I was once was.
It also reminds me of Thanagar, of home.
Jon once joked that he'd remain a Green Lantern the rest of his life. He could never give up the responsibility it gave him, the power that he had to make the lives of people better. He was a hero, even when retired, living with me in an isolated cabin.
Days seem to go by slowly now, as I spend them without anyone special. The fast-paced life I led as Hawkgirl isn't present anymore. Then I ran through day like there was no night, and each night like there was no tomorrow. After I retired with Jon, I treasured every day I had, knowing that sometime soon, it will be my last. That there would be no tomorrow for this fallen hero. I wanted to spend the rest of my days with the man I loved. I didn't want to die.
But now, I pray for a swift, silent death.
Staring out the window glazed over with frost, I think of Jon. It's not just the snow that reminds me of him-everything around me sparks some kind of memory we had. The snow reminds me of the fight we had, so many Christmases ago. Smiling, I can almost feel the impact the snowballs had on me. I'd never experienced anything like a snowball fight before. It never snowed on Thanagar. Even if it had, I doubt I could have run outside, playing like a child in the frozen precipitation.
These memories are sweet to me, reminders of how lucky I was to fall in love with the right man. Jon was always so caring, so tender; it drove me crazy. Thanagarians are born hard and tough, and love isn't as prominent as it seems to be on Earth. Here, there is someone out there for everyone. Even for an irritating cop like me, an alien to this world.
At first I wasn't sure how the world would react to all the work and events that the Justice League was a part of: the end of a crime era that terrified so many generations, the retirement of the League, a long- standing group to the side of good, and then the significant romances that took place not long after.
Well, with the exception of Jon and I, that is. We were together long before the League withdrew. We never married, but were as close as any couple could be, and perhaps more.
Superman married Lois, and even Flash found himself a wife. Batman would never admit that he was smitten with Diana, but she gladly accepted his invitation to move into Wayne Manor, just a month after the League was finished.
They married a year later.
Diana is a frequent visitor to me; the closest thing I've ever had to a "best friend", as humans call it. No one was a friend to me on Thanagar. Either I was too scary-as Flash puts it, or too stunning-Jon. Diana has aged as I have, but takes it in stride. Once, I bitterly antagonized over the possibility of death, but I had Diana or Jon to comfort me. Diana tells me that death is only another stage of life, and that there are many more adventures and experiences to be had.
I just laughed, and waved her wisdom away. Then she cracked a smile, and held my hand in hers, her eyes shining with tears. She treasures every day she has Batman, her husband; with me, her dear friend; just with life in general. She keeps each day locked away in her memory, helping her to cope with age. With age comes wisdom-Diana is the very personification of that saying. She is optimistic about the future I gave up on.
In some ways I miss the days long gone, when I could be reckless and somewhat stupid. Flying face-first into danger, staring Death in the face without even a care. I can't believe what a fool I was. I was duped into every mission that could have taken my life at any moment. I was an idiot to carelessly swing my mace at every criminal I every met.
But then again, I was a fool in love.
It was love at first sight with Jon. I'm almost positive of that. In all my years as a detective, I'd never encountered anyone like Jon before. Not that I hadn't met a Green Lantern, just not one as unique and insanely stubborn as he was. He could match my temper in a heartbeat, and make me melt in his arms within a second. I silently watched him for a year, waiting for the opportunity that never seemed to come, for me to admit that I had hopelessly fallen for him.
We'd gone through so many missions together; I can't even keep track of the arguments we had during them. There was War World-I still blamed him for the bruise on my wing-Kalinor, where I was afraid he'd leave me for Katma. That memory isn't sweet, merely humorous. To think that I was once that innocent and fierce is amusing. Fighting with Vandal Savage and saving Jon from a watery death was a fonder memory. I loved Jon's smile-it made life slightly easier to trudge through.
Age certainly has made me more mature, if anything.
It was that battle against the Joker that I finally realized he felt the same way about me. The way he spoke, a low, resonant tenor that stirred something in my soul, made my heartbeat twice as fast. My legs were shaking when I sat on his bed, my head throbbing and my hands trembling, almost dropping my papers. The only sounds I could hear were the beeping of his monitors, the sound of my heart, and Jon's voice.
"You know how I feel about you, and I know you feel the same way."
Such simple words that took so many months to say finally were out. At that moment I wanted to cry, to shout, to faint into his arms, or punch him, for not saying this sooner. I swear my heart stopped when he kissed me, my face feeling strangely light and feathery with the removal of my mask.
At first I wasn't sure that it would work for us. I'd never heard of inter- species romances lasting, no matter how hard the people tried. I wanted to make it work, but I just didn't know how everything would end. We both wanted to live happily ever after. My heart soared when he didn't care about our physical differences.
"I see a man, and a woman."
He saw me just as someone like him. Not an alien, a strange girl with wings and a mace, but a human woman, someone beautiful and worth drawing attention to.
I knew was going insane with this love of mine. Either I was going to be with him for the rest of my life, or we'd drive each other crazy.
I suppose we did a little bit of both. The world wasn't as shocked when the rumors about us finally leaked out. When we flew to jail some criminal, people saw my hand in his. In the dead hours of the morning, after we stopped a ridiculous robbery, we stood alone on a building, kissing slowly as the sun rose. Dark circles covered our eyes many mornings; we often talked-among other things-through the night, and got little sleep.
Sleep is a curse, these days. I knew that eventually, one of us just wouldn't wake up in the morning. One of us will be alone, left to wander the world without someone to hold hands with, to kiss, to hold, just to damn talk to. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.
Up in the mountains, the days seem shorter, the sun shining for less time, the air cleaner but colder. Now when I'm asleep, I still think of clinging to his body for warmth. But I move, I feel dead space and realize that Jon doesn't lie next to me anymore.
As Flash says, I've become a bitter old woman. Old, yes, but not bitter. I try not to hate Jon for leaving me. Death is natural part of life, and I knew that he would die someday.
I curse fate most days, asking whatever God will listen, why did they take Jon away from me. Why am I stuck on a planet I still barely know, forsaken by all civilization?
Why am I all alone?
I could ask Diana if Wayne Manor had a room for this old Thanagarian. I could ask J'onn if he wouldn't mind me back at the Watchtower. I could even ask Flash for some companionship, just so I wouldn't die of boredom.
Yet, I won't.
Instead, I choose to spend the rest of my days here, alone in this weather- beaten cabin. It's not like I'll starve or freeze to death. At the very least, I'll die of loneliness, lacking a companion to talk to for hours. Someone like Jon.
A green light emits from my left hand, where Jon's ring sits proudly. I refused to bury it with him. The ring was one of the last things I had left of him, and I couldn't-no, wouldn't let go of it. Now, it rests on top of the diamond Jon gave me. He told me that a diamond, like our love, would last forever.
Too bad his body couldn't.
It's on days like this that I ask myself all these questions, including the one that plagues me the most.
I could have gone home to Thanagar, if I wanted.
Sadly, it's true. The entire League, maybe with the exception of the rather vacuous Flash, knew that I could have taken the Javelin back to Thanagar. Though far away from Earth, the ship could have lasted the entire trip.
Or, Jon could have flown me out there. With a fully charged power ring, he probably could have made it to Thanagar and back to Earth easily. It was never a matter of how I would get home. Truly, it was whether Jon would let me leave him or not.
Now, the clock in our bedroom chimes seven times. It's nearly dark outside, and I still have one more thing to do, before I go to sleep. I know it's time.
Rising from chair is becoming harder every day. Chuckling to myself, I wonder if one day, I'll just die in a chair I couldn't get out of. That would be something to laugh at. Maybe even brighten my mood, for once.
Sitting on the table is a single red rose, the kind of flower Jon brought for me so often. I hold it close to my face, just taking in the fresh, lovely scent of the blossom. No thorns prick me as I take it in my hand, wrapping a shawl around me as I walk outside slowly.
Bathed in the moonlight is a single stone, strong and broad, stretching out in the snow-covered path. No wind whips my face as I kneel in the frigid, wet snow, wincing slightly as the cold seeps through my skin. But I put on a brave face, as Jon would have wanted me to.
Placing the rose at the bottom of the grave, I take a moment to utter a silent prayer. Once a year I make this pledge, someday hoping I'll be up in the clouds with Jon again. I raise my eyes to the sky, searching for some star to wink at me, reminding me of the constant mischievous twinkle in his eye. It was as if he had some kind of secret, keeping it close like a little boy.
But until then, I can wait. I'll be patient, because Jon will come for me when it's my time. My time to go sleep and never wake up, as he did three years ago. It's been hard living my life without him, but I remember that we will be together again. The memories we had keep me going.
I walk back into the house, shedding my outer coat and shawl, and placing it neatly in the closet. I stare in the mirror beside the closet, taking in my elderly appearance. My hair, once a fiery auburn, is now streaked with silver. More silver than auburn, really. My face, once smooth and pale, is lined. My hands are weathered and red, while my body remains fragile, unable to take the hits I could as a detective, and a member of the League.
But I shake my head. I don't care how old I look anymore. Up until the day he fell asleep and died, Jon always told me I was beautiful. That's all it took to make me feel young and pretty once again.
I pull out a small box from underneath the bed, and sit, opening the dusty container and reaching inside. A photograph, taken years ago when we were young, smiles back at me. Jon stands proudly behind me, an arm set around my tiny waist, holding me as if he'll never let go. The other hand rests across my flushed cheek, as our eyes sparkle a mysterious green.
A grin is set on both our faces. These were happy times, and I should treasure what I had with him.
I curl up under a blanket that smells like Jon, turn off the light and close my eyes, a small smile flitting across my face.
Tomorrow, perhaps, I won't wake up.
~*~
A/N 2: this was hard to write too. I'd never want Jon to die, ever, and if he had to, it would be in the most romantic way possibly, with Shayera. He wouldn't leave her alone for so long. *sniff* please review!
In Thy Memory
A Justice League fic
A/N: Hawkgirl questions the life she and Green Lantern lived many years later. Told in her POV.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot and opening poem, which is actually a poem from Green Lantern to Hawkgirl. Cartoon Network, please give me Hawkgirl and Green Lantern. I only want them to be together forever, I swear.
~*~
Something about the way you walk,
Makes me smile, makes me long.
Something about the way you kiss,
Just keeps me going on.
I don't know why I fell in love with you,
Maybe it's just because I'm a person just like you.
It's something that draws me closer,
Like a butterfly, to the flame.
Eyes that draw me in,
A tear that makes me cry.
Your words make me a better man,
I yearn for your applause.
And when the sunlight, dawns on your face,
It drives me crazy, looking in your jaded eyes.
I can't escape it-I'm drawing near and near.
But I don't ever want to leave,
Because I'm happy here.
It's what makes me smile.
Something about you.
Deep inside.
~*~
It was our sight that I feared would go first.
The ability to see is a key part of Thanagarian life, especially as a detective. When you lose your sight, you lose the ability to be a useful part of Thanagarian culture. You lose the chance to be a better person.
You can no longer see the people-or person, you love.
Being away from Thanagar so long made me I weak, I fear. Decades after the Justice League retired, I found myself becoming tired easily, and not able to pull the work I could do so easily as a young detective.
Youth. A word I never treasured until now.
I think of my youth every day in this cursed state. As I pad around wrapped in sweaters and blankets, I remember flying almost naked, held back by nothing but my yellow top, green pants, and sturdy red boots. My reliable mace, now hung in a place of honor over our bed, does not remain dusty. I treasure that instrument of destruction. I remember what I was once was.
It also reminds me of Thanagar, of home.
Jon once joked that he'd remain a Green Lantern the rest of his life. He could never give up the responsibility it gave him, the power that he had to make the lives of people better. He was a hero, even when retired, living with me in an isolated cabin.
Days seem to go by slowly now, as I spend them without anyone special. The fast-paced life I led as Hawkgirl isn't present anymore. Then I ran through day like there was no night, and each night like there was no tomorrow. After I retired with Jon, I treasured every day I had, knowing that sometime soon, it will be my last. That there would be no tomorrow for this fallen hero. I wanted to spend the rest of my days with the man I loved. I didn't want to die.
But now, I pray for a swift, silent death.
Staring out the window glazed over with frost, I think of Jon. It's not just the snow that reminds me of him-everything around me sparks some kind of memory we had. The snow reminds me of the fight we had, so many Christmases ago. Smiling, I can almost feel the impact the snowballs had on me. I'd never experienced anything like a snowball fight before. It never snowed on Thanagar. Even if it had, I doubt I could have run outside, playing like a child in the frozen precipitation.
These memories are sweet to me, reminders of how lucky I was to fall in love with the right man. Jon was always so caring, so tender; it drove me crazy. Thanagarians are born hard and tough, and love isn't as prominent as it seems to be on Earth. Here, there is someone out there for everyone. Even for an irritating cop like me, an alien to this world.
At first I wasn't sure how the world would react to all the work and events that the Justice League was a part of: the end of a crime era that terrified so many generations, the retirement of the League, a long- standing group to the side of good, and then the significant romances that took place not long after.
Well, with the exception of Jon and I, that is. We were together long before the League withdrew. We never married, but were as close as any couple could be, and perhaps more.
Superman married Lois, and even Flash found himself a wife. Batman would never admit that he was smitten with Diana, but she gladly accepted his invitation to move into Wayne Manor, just a month after the League was finished.
They married a year later.
Diana is a frequent visitor to me; the closest thing I've ever had to a "best friend", as humans call it. No one was a friend to me on Thanagar. Either I was too scary-as Flash puts it, or too stunning-Jon. Diana has aged as I have, but takes it in stride. Once, I bitterly antagonized over the possibility of death, but I had Diana or Jon to comfort me. Diana tells me that death is only another stage of life, and that there are many more adventures and experiences to be had.
I just laughed, and waved her wisdom away. Then she cracked a smile, and held my hand in hers, her eyes shining with tears. She treasures every day she has Batman, her husband; with me, her dear friend; just with life in general. She keeps each day locked away in her memory, helping her to cope with age. With age comes wisdom-Diana is the very personification of that saying. She is optimistic about the future I gave up on.
In some ways I miss the days long gone, when I could be reckless and somewhat stupid. Flying face-first into danger, staring Death in the face without even a care. I can't believe what a fool I was. I was duped into every mission that could have taken my life at any moment. I was an idiot to carelessly swing my mace at every criminal I every met.
But then again, I was a fool in love.
It was love at first sight with Jon. I'm almost positive of that. In all my years as a detective, I'd never encountered anyone like Jon before. Not that I hadn't met a Green Lantern, just not one as unique and insanely stubborn as he was. He could match my temper in a heartbeat, and make me melt in his arms within a second. I silently watched him for a year, waiting for the opportunity that never seemed to come, for me to admit that I had hopelessly fallen for him.
We'd gone through so many missions together; I can't even keep track of the arguments we had during them. There was War World-I still blamed him for the bruise on my wing-Kalinor, where I was afraid he'd leave me for Katma. That memory isn't sweet, merely humorous. To think that I was once that innocent and fierce is amusing. Fighting with Vandal Savage and saving Jon from a watery death was a fonder memory. I loved Jon's smile-it made life slightly easier to trudge through.
Age certainly has made me more mature, if anything.
It was that battle against the Joker that I finally realized he felt the same way about me. The way he spoke, a low, resonant tenor that stirred something in my soul, made my heartbeat twice as fast. My legs were shaking when I sat on his bed, my head throbbing and my hands trembling, almost dropping my papers. The only sounds I could hear were the beeping of his monitors, the sound of my heart, and Jon's voice.
"You know how I feel about you, and I know you feel the same way."
Such simple words that took so many months to say finally were out. At that moment I wanted to cry, to shout, to faint into his arms, or punch him, for not saying this sooner. I swear my heart stopped when he kissed me, my face feeling strangely light and feathery with the removal of my mask.
At first I wasn't sure that it would work for us. I'd never heard of inter- species romances lasting, no matter how hard the people tried. I wanted to make it work, but I just didn't know how everything would end. We both wanted to live happily ever after. My heart soared when he didn't care about our physical differences.
"I see a man, and a woman."
He saw me just as someone like him. Not an alien, a strange girl with wings and a mace, but a human woman, someone beautiful and worth drawing attention to.
I knew was going insane with this love of mine. Either I was going to be with him for the rest of my life, or we'd drive each other crazy.
I suppose we did a little bit of both. The world wasn't as shocked when the rumors about us finally leaked out. When we flew to jail some criminal, people saw my hand in his. In the dead hours of the morning, after we stopped a ridiculous robbery, we stood alone on a building, kissing slowly as the sun rose. Dark circles covered our eyes many mornings; we often talked-among other things-through the night, and got little sleep.
Sleep is a curse, these days. I knew that eventually, one of us just wouldn't wake up in the morning. One of us will be alone, left to wander the world without someone to hold hands with, to kiss, to hold, just to damn talk to. I just didn't think it would happen so soon.
Up in the mountains, the days seem shorter, the sun shining for less time, the air cleaner but colder. Now when I'm asleep, I still think of clinging to his body for warmth. But I move, I feel dead space and realize that Jon doesn't lie next to me anymore.
As Flash says, I've become a bitter old woman. Old, yes, but not bitter. I try not to hate Jon for leaving me. Death is natural part of life, and I knew that he would die someday.
I curse fate most days, asking whatever God will listen, why did they take Jon away from me. Why am I stuck on a planet I still barely know, forsaken by all civilization?
Why am I all alone?
I could ask Diana if Wayne Manor had a room for this old Thanagarian. I could ask J'onn if he wouldn't mind me back at the Watchtower. I could even ask Flash for some companionship, just so I wouldn't die of boredom.
Yet, I won't.
Instead, I choose to spend the rest of my days here, alone in this weather- beaten cabin. It's not like I'll starve or freeze to death. At the very least, I'll die of loneliness, lacking a companion to talk to for hours. Someone like Jon.
A green light emits from my left hand, where Jon's ring sits proudly. I refused to bury it with him. The ring was one of the last things I had left of him, and I couldn't-no, wouldn't let go of it. Now, it rests on top of the diamond Jon gave me. He told me that a diamond, like our love, would last forever.
Too bad his body couldn't.
It's on days like this that I ask myself all these questions, including the one that plagues me the most.
I could have gone home to Thanagar, if I wanted.
Sadly, it's true. The entire League, maybe with the exception of the rather vacuous Flash, knew that I could have taken the Javelin back to Thanagar. Though far away from Earth, the ship could have lasted the entire trip.
Or, Jon could have flown me out there. With a fully charged power ring, he probably could have made it to Thanagar and back to Earth easily. It was never a matter of how I would get home. Truly, it was whether Jon would let me leave him or not.
Now, the clock in our bedroom chimes seven times. It's nearly dark outside, and I still have one more thing to do, before I go to sleep. I know it's time.
Rising from chair is becoming harder every day. Chuckling to myself, I wonder if one day, I'll just die in a chair I couldn't get out of. That would be something to laugh at. Maybe even brighten my mood, for once.
Sitting on the table is a single red rose, the kind of flower Jon brought for me so often. I hold it close to my face, just taking in the fresh, lovely scent of the blossom. No thorns prick me as I take it in my hand, wrapping a shawl around me as I walk outside slowly.
Bathed in the moonlight is a single stone, strong and broad, stretching out in the snow-covered path. No wind whips my face as I kneel in the frigid, wet snow, wincing slightly as the cold seeps through my skin. But I put on a brave face, as Jon would have wanted me to.
Placing the rose at the bottom of the grave, I take a moment to utter a silent prayer. Once a year I make this pledge, someday hoping I'll be up in the clouds with Jon again. I raise my eyes to the sky, searching for some star to wink at me, reminding me of the constant mischievous twinkle in his eye. It was as if he had some kind of secret, keeping it close like a little boy.
But until then, I can wait. I'll be patient, because Jon will come for me when it's my time. My time to go sleep and never wake up, as he did three years ago. It's been hard living my life without him, but I remember that we will be together again. The memories we had keep me going.
I walk back into the house, shedding my outer coat and shawl, and placing it neatly in the closet. I stare in the mirror beside the closet, taking in my elderly appearance. My hair, once a fiery auburn, is now streaked with silver. More silver than auburn, really. My face, once smooth and pale, is lined. My hands are weathered and red, while my body remains fragile, unable to take the hits I could as a detective, and a member of the League.
But I shake my head. I don't care how old I look anymore. Up until the day he fell asleep and died, Jon always told me I was beautiful. That's all it took to make me feel young and pretty once again.
I pull out a small box from underneath the bed, and sit, opening the dusty container and reaching inside. A photograph, taken years ago when we were young, smiles back at me. Jon stands proudly behind me, an arm set around my tiny waist, holding me as if he'll never let go. The other hand rests across my flushed cheek, as our eyes sparkle a mysterious green.
A grin is set on both our faces. These were happy times, and I should treasure what I had with him.
I curl up under a blanket that smells like Jon, turn off the light and close my eyes, a small smile flitting across my face.
Tomorrow, perhaps, I won't wake up.
~*~
A/N 2: this was hard to write too. I'd never want Jon to die, ever, and if he had to, it would be in the most romantic way possibly, with Shayera. He wouldn't leave her alone for so long. *sniff* please review!