"No, Neal, I don't think that would be appropriate for the Midwinter Ball."

"But why?"

"Sticking carrot sticks up our nose and celery in our ears does not strike me as a very, er, mature fashion statement."

"But-"

"Unless you want to wake Mindelan and listen to her babble about absolutely nothing I suggest you shut up."

Stiffly, Cleon and Neal turned to Joren, who stood in Kel's doorway leaning against the frame. His ice blue eyes took them in, then dismissed them as any type of threat.

"Why don't you make us, Stone Mountain?" Neal snapped.

"I would, but I have no desire to wake Mindelan."

"Aw, is widdle Joren taking care of his baby Kel?"

His eyes flashed as he straightened against the doorframe to face Cleon. "In case you didn't listen to all that I said in front of everyone back there, Mindelan is a little unstable right this moment. You try handling a girl who thinks I am her second husband and her king and that she is Nealan of Hollyrose and Merric's wife. Try listening to her babble about court gossip that could not possibly be true."

"How do you know it's not true?" Neal asked curiously.

"Queenscove, I honestly don't believe Jonathan of Goldenlake is making wild passionate love to Owen of Runnerspring, though, according to her, it's quite the talk."

Cleon silently watched Joren brush a lock of white-blond hair out of his face. "You really didn't mean to hurt her?"

"Actually, I did. But not so hard she would wake up with an extremely mixed- up version of Tortall and its inhabitants."

"I suppose that's the closest to an apology as you can get."

"Yep."

The redhead sighed and shook his head. "You're hopeless."

"Why, thank you."

"Can we come in?"

"Why?" Joren asked. "Mindelan is asleep. There really isn't a point."

"I just want to see her," Cleon mumbled, reddening.

"Ah. I get it. You have the hots for everyone's favorite slut. Not surprising."

Neal growled. "You should shut up, Stone." He smirked. "Even if she was a slut, she wouldn't have been in as many men's beds as you have."

Joren took a step forward. "I," he snarled, "am not gay. So get over it."

"Suuuure."

He glared at them. A soft murmuring came from behind him. He glanced behind him, then jerked his head back to glare at them.

"Oh, great. You woke her up. Act like everything she says is true."

"Uh, Stone?" Cleon said. "Why don't you just tell her the truth?"

"I actually think it would damage her brain."

"How could it get more messed up as it is? She thinks Alanna and Wyldon are twins, for Mithros' Sake."

"Too much information at one time could mess her up anymore, so that when she finally comes to terms with it she may just go insane. Brain-overload," Neal said.

"Hi," Kel said, peeking sleepily over Joren's shoulders. Involuntarily, Cleon's gaze wondered to what her thin nightgown barely revealed.

"Shame on you, Kennan," Joren sneered.

"Have you met my husband?" she asked brightly.

"Yes. Yes, we have."

"Cute, isn't he?" she said.

"Yes. Very."

Cleon and Joren stared at Neal. He shrugged. "You told me to act like everything she said was true. I was just acting."

Joren glared at Neal, who smiled sweetly, and turned to Kel. "Eh. Wife. Go back to bed."

"Why?" she asked. "It's only noon. It's time for lunch."

"No, it's not. It's time for bed. Go back to bed."

"Lalasa said it was noon."

"Who is Lalasa?"

"Her."

Kel pointed at Jump, the not-so-pretty dog of hers. "She said it was noon."

Joren glanced at the two stunned faces of her friends and smirked. "Well then, I guess we should go get some lunch, huh?"

"Lunch? But it's time for bed."

"Right. Of course. How could I forget? Go to bed."

"But it's time for lunch."

"Then go get lunch."

"But it's time for bed."

"Damn it, then go to bed."

"But it's time for-"

"Go to bed, and I'll bring you lunch."

"Why?"

"What the hell do you mean why?"

"It's time for breakfast."

"Go to bed and I'll bring you some food."

"But I'm not hungry."

"Then go to bed."

"But I'm starving!"

Joren grabbed the back of her collar and pulled her to the bed. He shoved her down. "Stay," he ordered. "It is time for bed. Go to sleep."

"Okay." She fell asleep immediately.

"That sort of reminds me of when I was younger and I had to take care of my sister," Neal said thoughtfully. "It must be hard."

"Queenscove," Joren said, shocked. "Are you-are you sympathizing with me?"

"Why, yes I am."

"Oh, oh, Queenscove, I'm touched," he gasped, clutching his heart.

"Yeah, touched in the head," Cleon muttered.

"You should be touched," Neal said loftily. "I know you're flattered to be in favor of yours truly. It's not everyday a guy likes you for you and not for your body, now is it Stoned?"

"Shut up, Queenscove," Joren snapped. "You and I both know I'm not gay."

"Ah," Neal said in a wise voice, "perhaps you think we both know you're not gay. But I think we both know you are."

"Hey Queenscove?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

- - - - -

"Quack!

"Quack, quack, duckies! Quack, quack, quack!"

"Kel! Come back! You are not a ducky!"

"QUACK!

"Quack, DUCKY!"

"KEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!

Unaware of the eyes of squires and knights and the royal couple themselves, Joren ran after Kel, who ran after the duck, who ran away from Kel, who ran away from Joren. The duck quacked as she grabbed his neck. "DUCKY!"

"No! Bad Kel! BAD! Leave Ducky alone!"

"DUCKY!"

"Kel, I am NOT a duck! No! Stop, no! Heh, hee hee, that tickles! Stop! STOP!!!"

"Ducky."

"Fine. I'm a ducky. We're both duckies, okay?"

"I'm a ducky?"

"Yep. You're a ducky."

"You're a ducky?"

"Yep. I'm a ducky."

"We're both duckies?"

"Yep. We're both duckies."

"Is that a ducky?"

"No, that's a Queenscove."

"Oh. What about that?"

"That's a potato."

"Oh. So we're the only duckies?"

"Other than that ducky over there, yep, we're the only duckies."

"Yay."

"Yay."

"Yay."

"Yay."

"It's kind of cute," Cleon whispered to his friends. "This sure isn't the Joren I know."

"He probably thinks that if he takes care of Kel, he'll be let off the hook when her memory comes back," Owen muttered.

"You didn't see him last night. He was actually kind of patient with her."

Alanna, who had been standing behind her squire for a while, said, "I think he's in love with her."

All the squires at the table spat out their drinks and busted up in laughter. She looked down her small nose at them. "Why do you laugh?"

"First of all, my lovely redheaded lady," Neal began, his eyes watering, "Joren happens to despise Kel. And her him."

"How do you know he hasn't changed?" she asked wisely.

"Last time he said that he kidnapped Lalasa and took her to Balor's Needle."

"True. But notice the way he looks at her. If he truly loathed her, would he be taking care of her like that?"

"Well, I-"

"Think about it, squire. It may be harder for you, seeing how you're male-" she sniffed-"but you cannot be so dense as to not see beyond his cold eyes. Oh, I just sounded a little poetic just then didn't I?"

"Joren hates Kel."

"Obviously I was wrong about the whole density thing," Alanna said under her breath. She clapped Neal's shoulder and walked away.

"You don't think she's serious, do you?" Cleon said desperately.

"Dude, chill out," Prince Roald said.

"Did you just call me dude?"

"I really can't see Kel with Joren," Neal assured him.

"Really," Merric added. "Kel will surely go for you."

"I can't believe you just said dude, and to me no less."

"Cleon?" Neal said suddenly.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Okay."