Joren sat under a tree, in the shade so he could protect his skin, and kept an eye on Kel the Ducky while reading a book. He found that he couldn't do either one, though it wasn't for lack of trying. It was simply because Kel looked so cute and funny. She was swimming around the pond behind a mother duck and her six ducklings. It actually appeared that the mother thought she was her baby too.

But she's not her baby, a smug voice said. She's mine.

Sighing, Joren tossed the book aside and leaned back to watch his newly discovered crush. In spite of the fact that he hated her as a page, he found that he couldn't now. Something had changed him, something that looked remarkably like a tall brunette with hazel-green eyes and rosy cheeks.

Hm, that voice said. Wonder who that could be.

There was no denying now what he knew all along: he was in love with her (Quick A/N: I know Joren is a little OOC in this chap, but I can't help it. I have a weakness for tough men with a soft side to them). He ran his fingers through his pale hair with a smile on his face.

Across the pond, Alanna the Lioness, Daine the Wildmage, Queen Thayet the Peerless, and Commander Buriram caught the smile and grinned at each other evilly.

"You think?" Buri asked.

"I know," Thayet said smugly, flicking a black lock over her shoulder and glancing down at her friend over a strongly built nose. Daine snickered.

"I never would have thought," she said, fingering a smoky curl while staring at Joren thoughtfully with those grave blue-gray eyes. "Numair and I always saw them fighting when we were at the palace. They hated each other then. It was obvious."

"Something changed him," Alanna agreed, her curly red hair bouncing as she nodded.

"What about that Kennan fellow?" Buri asked curiously. "He's had his eyes on Kel."

"He has since they were pages," Daine said.

"I honestly don't know who will win," Thayet said. "But I don't know any of them very well, so I can't say anything anyway."

"Personally?" Alanna said. "I'm all for Joren. Cleon and Kennan seems nice and all, but I think Joren suits her better. Don't you?"

"I like Cleon," Daine said.

"I feel a 'but' coming on," Buri said, grinning.

"But," Daine agreed, "Joren seems to me the type that would make a commitment and stick to it. As long as it was a commitment he thought up and had analyzed from all angles. If it doesn't do anything for him, forget it."

"What could Kel give him that other women can't?" Thayet asked.

"Sex," they said together.

"Yay for sex," Alanna hooted.

"And love," Buri added. "Kel would love him until her dying day."

"If she'd let herself," Alanna said.

"True," she agreed.

"A good life," Daine said. "Kel would do whatever she can to make him happy."

"And vice-versa."

"But first we need to get Kel back to-"

"DUCKY!"

"No, Kel! BAD GIRL!"

"QUAAAAAAAAACK!"

There was a flurry of movement as Kel splashed out of the pond and after a runaway duck. Immediately sensing it, Joren had leapt to his feet and was now hurrying after her. Alanna and Daine stumbled right; Thayet and Buri lunged left, parting the way for the threesome.

"Kel, please come back!"

"Ducky," she yelled stubbornly.

She pursued that ducky until they reached the practice courts, where most of the squires were, and where the king and a few knights watched. Over on the other side, some men worked on building a brick wall that was supposed to be a new kind of outhouse. They had all stopped when they heard the first cry of "ducky" and were scurrying out of the way upon the arrival of one duck and two duckies.

The duck was flapping its wings frantically as the girl got closer. Joren realized what was going to happen with a sinking heart.

"Kel, watch out for that-"

Crack.

"Brick wall," Joren gasped. "Shit. Oh, shit. Major shit."

He stumbled toward Kel's limp body and shook her. "Kel! Kel, are you all right? SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!!!"

"He's so in love," the Eda Bell the Wildcat said sadly. "It's almost pitiful."

"Almost?" the Lioness said, coming up beside her. "Honey, it is pitiful."

"Get your paws of me, Stone Mountain," Kel groaned, stirring.

"K-Kel? Is it you? Is it really you?"

"Of course it's me. Who did you think I was?"

"Well first I thought you were Nealan of Hollyrose. Then you were my lover. Then you were my wife. Then you were a ducky. It's hard to keep track of so many different people, you know."

"I'm confused," Kel said.

"It started like this," Neal said, and launched onto a detailed (and slightly exaggerated) tale starting from when she arrived at the palace in her condition up until now.

"Bricks," Joren shouted suddenly. They stared at him. "Oh gods, how I love bricks."

He ran up to the brick wall Kel had run into and threw himself up against it.

"I love brick walls. I love brick walls. I love brick walls. Mithros, do I love brick walls. No more Kel to tell me how duckies survive in an earthquake. No more Kel to tell me how she caught Wyldon and his twin sister Alanna making out in a broom closet-"

Someone broke up into uncontrollable laughter, starting a chain reaction.

"Joren of Stone Mountain," Kel said, crawling toward him and tugging on his pants leg while her friends giggled like children. "You mean to tell me you took care of me while I was, er, on vacation?"

"Vacation?" Joren smirked. "Quaintly put, love."

"You took care of me?" she demanded.

"So?" Joren snapped uncomfortably. "That doesn't mean anything."

"Oh, get over yourself, Stone Mountain, and admit it," Alanna said crossly. "You're in love with the squire."

"I am not! I am in love with brick walls."

"Squire."

"Brick."

"Squire."

"Brick."

"Squire."

"Brick."

"Brick."

"Squire. Wait."

"Ha HAH. Gotcha," Alanna said wickedly. She begins to do a little dance.

"Oh, shut up."

"Pardon."

"Oh, shut up, my lady."

"That's better."

"So are you in love with me?" Kel asked, her eyes sparkling.

"Well-"

"Say it."

There was a collective breath.

"I-"

"Come on, now."

"I-"

"Hurry it up, we don't have all day."

"Iloveyou," Joren muttered.

"What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you," Kel said sweetly.

"For Mithros' Sake, Kel, I LOVE YOU!!!"

"That's better."

Daine and Buri sighed dreamily.

"Well, Cleon, it seems you lost," Owen said sympathetically, patting his shoulder.

Cleon shrugged. "I guess we just weren't meant to be, is all. I'm betrothed anyway."

Alanna made suggested kissing sounds.

"Come on now, dears. You know you want to kiss."

Joren glared at the Lioness while fighting back a fierce blush. Kel grinned at him.

"Well? I'm waiting."

He leaned toward her, planning to peck her lightly. As soon as his lips touched hers, though, she wrapped a hand around his neck to keep him from pulling back.

"You're cute," she murmured against his mouth. "Want to come to my rooms later and have fun."

That's when he realized. "You were acting?!" he shrieked. "You mean to tell me that ducky shit was just a game?"

"Rather convincing, don't you think?"

Alanna cackled. "MWAHAHAHAHA! My plan worked."

"You were on this too?" Joren said shrilly.

"Daine came up with the ducky idea," the Lioness said defensively.

"You were all for the Nealan of Hollyrose," Daine argued.

"Who came up with the Wyldon thing?" King Jonathan said, his eyes crinkling.

Kel cleared her throat.

"Yes, Squire Keladry?"

"Ducky."

"Never mind."

"Daine, Alanna, Thayet and I made some stuff up," Buri admitted. "But most credit goes to Kel."

"Ducky."

"Kel?" Joren said.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Ducky."

"Shut up."

"Ducky."

"Shut up!"

"Ducky!"

"SHUT UP!"

"DUCKY!"