Homestar Fantasy: Final Fantasy 6 starring the cast from www.homestarrunner.com
Final Fantasy 6 is owned by Squaresoft, or rather Square-Enix.
Homestar Runner is owned by the Brothers Chaps.
Chapter 2: The way of the Concession lands
(At the fields away from Cheatshe)
Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, and the Cheat just got away from the most tempting place ever, Cheatshe, barely escaping with their lives. They definately couldn't get back in anyways, with the heavier security going on now. They are moving through the fields, and of course, having to deal with opposition along the way, mainly monsters like some leafers and stuff. Strong Bad managed to pound the leafers with his boxing gloves, and Homestar burned the other enemies accompanying the leafers. The Cheat threw some bad animation at a group of leafers and were all annihilated by it. The three continue on, and into a desert.
Of course, this Desert was incredibly big, and it would be impossible to find the Concession Castle. Homestar was sweating but still standing, the Cheat fainted of over-exposure, and Strong Bad is sweating and walking low, as if he were ready to collapse of over-exposure to the heat.
"Oh man," Strong Bad complains, "This desert is so freaking huge and I can't stand it!"
"Uh, why are we going through here anyways?" Homestar asked.
"Hey shut up Homestar!" Strong Bad snapped back, "It's bad enough Arvis talked me into rescuing a moron like yourself. Boy you're absolutely stupid!"
Strong Bad always has been harsh towards Homestar, like the whole time. Unfortunately, since he is forced to travel with Homestar, he might as well put up with it. The Cheat was still resting inside a knapsack Strong Bad found near a skeleton, and as well getting tons of goods which surprisingly are in good condition still.
Homestar Runner and Strong Bad continue walking along. Strong Bad couldn't take it anymore and collapsed. "Oh man, why did Bubs decide to have a Concession Castle in the middle of this freaking desert? Why?"
The Cheat got out of the knapsack to answer, "Meeeeaaeeaah Meehiaaheee" (Didn't you bother checking the automap?)
"Oh Crap!" Strong Bad replied, "Why didn't I think of that before?"
Strong Bad pulled out the Automap. Apparantly they were wondering around the border for like, forever. Strong Bad pinpointed the location of the Concession Castle. "The Concession Castle is to the North-east of where we are."
"Okay," Homestar said.
The three then walk in the right direction to the Concession Castle, when they stopped to find many Sand Rays popping out, as well as Areneids. The Cheat climbed out of the Knapsack. "Meeeghahahga!" (Time for flameage!) The Cheat shouted out as he used another Cheat: Grand blaze. The fire toasted the Sand Rays, but the Areneids evaded it and one struck The Cheat. Strong Bad got angry and decided to grab one of the offending Areneids. The Areneid attempted to sting Strong Bad, but unfortunately, Strong Bad's boxing gloves protected him and couldn't get hurt. Strong Bad crushed the critter between the gloves and tossed the dead, crushed body of the Areneid at another, and that one died as well. Homestar finished off the last one by hitting it hard with his baseball bat. Unfortunately, there were more where those came from. "This duz not look good fur Homestar Runner, Stong Bah, and The Cheat," Homestar said.
"For one I agree Homestar," Strong Bad replied, about ready to run away from them.
The three all run away from the chasing Sand Rays and Areneids. Strong Bad keeps looking at the Automap and tells Homestar and The Cheat which way to go to next. Finally, the three lost the critters that have been chasing them for the previous 10 minutes. They finally see an awkward looking place. The bricks that constructed the castle were all a bunch of awkward colours, such as red, blue, green, and yellow. Strong Bad approaches the Concession Castle guard.
"Who do you think you are?" The Concession Castle guard asked Strong Bad.
"For your information there, I'm Strong Bad, and this is Homestar Runner and The Cheat. We're friends of Bubs'. We need to see him right away."
"That's what everyone says these days. Take my advice and get lost!"
A familiar voice came from behind. "Hey! You still keeping out guests again?" It was Bubs. "Hey there Homestar, Strong Bad, and The Cheat. I apologize for the uptight guards at this castle. It's just that there have been many thiefs trying to break in and go off with the goods inside. Anyways, come on in!"
Bubs looks back at the Concession Castle guard and says: "And if you don't do something about that paranoid attitude, I'll have you fired!"
The Concession Castle Guard now shook with fear. He didn't want to be fired, so he went back to his post and tried to remain calm afterwards. Inside the Concession Castle, Bubs leads Homestar, Strong Bad, and The Cheat to the throne room, or should I say Concession Stands room. "Whoa, Bubs!" Strong Bad comments, "There's loads of stuff here, in fact much more than at the Concession Stand back on our world.
"What world?" Bubs asked, "I thought we were still in our own world!"
"Nope. Homestar had some flashbacks before I even came along, and even though I really hate Homestar, I'm gonna have to agree. I hate to say this Bubs, but we are in the World of Balance."
"Well now that makes sense Strong Bad. Me and my squadron searched the whole world for our Apartment, but there doesn't seem to be an apartment anywhere, and not even Strongbadia isn't around! So, I guess we must be in the World of Balance! Anyways Homestar, what mishaps were occurring at the Empire before you evaded them?"
"You don't wunna know," Homestar Runner replies, "But, I'll fill you in. When I woke up after the freaking glowing thing sucked us all in, me and Marzipan found ourselves in Vertex..."
Then there was another flashback...
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Homestar Runner got up. The pull from the Vortex which the TV created got everyone separated, and in a different world. He went to investigate. Everything was quiet. Also, the place was extremely ugly, and composed mostly of metal. Homestar continued walking forward, up the stairs, and decided to check out the Castle. Continuing forward, Homestar walked by the machinery, and watching Imperial troops taking some sort of creatures to another room. "Uh, what's goin' on here you guys?" Homestar asked.
The Imperial troopers looked back, and sighted Homestar. "INTRUDER! GET HIM er, IT!" One of the Imperial Troopers shouted.
"This does not look good for Homestar Runner..." Homestar said to himself, as he prepared to run from the troopers. They chased him through hallways, up the stairs, and Homestar needed some place to hide. Finding a nearby door, he enters it. He was in one of the Crew quarters, and of course he decided to check the place out. Of course, he notices someone is there. It was Marzipan, still unconsious and laying on one of the beds. Homestar went towards Marzipan and shook her to wake her up.
"Uh, what? Where am I?" Marzipan said. She woke up to see Homestar Runner. "Homestar, is that you?"
"Yep, it's me, Homestar Runner."
"Homestar, please explain why we're here."
"Blame Stwong Bad and The Cheat for playing a cursed copy of Final Fantasy Anthology."
"What the crap? I told them not to touch it, because I was concerned about going blind by the glow from there than winding up in this world."
"They didn't even know, and Homeschool Winner was too late to stop them frum doin' so."
"Oh Homestar, how are we going to get out of this world?"
Before Homestar Runner could answer, the Imperial guards busted the door down. "You're a talented freak there," one of the Imperial Soldiers tells them, "And you, Broomstick freak, if you run away the next couple of times, you'll be known as a traitor! Take them away!"
Both Homestar and Marzipan were thrown into a prison. They've been thrown into the same cell. "Oh man, this could be thee end of us," Homestar said.
"Thanks for trying to get me out of here Homestar," Marzipan replied, "But there seems to be no escape from here. Especially since my own dad would do this to me!"
Before they knew it, the cell door opened again, and some sort of person who keeps his mouth opened the whole time walks in.
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Unfortunately, Homestar couldn't remember the whole thing. "Oh man, I forgot what happened afterwards," Homestar said.
"Oh crap!" Strong Bad replied, "You really are dumb! Dumb enough to forget something like that!"
"MEEEHHAHEEHEEEEAHEE! MEEEEHAAMEEEMEEEDEEE!" (Strong Bad! Stop giving Homestar a hard time when he doesn't remember stuff!) The Cheat yelled at Strong Bad.
"Sorry." Strong Bad apologized.
"You all seem tired," Bubs says, "You should rest up and stuff. Homestar, your room is at the right tower of this Castle. Strong Bad and the Cheat, yours are at the left tower."
"Fine by me," Strong Bad replied, "At least I can get away from Homestar and not have to put up with him. This has been a really rough day. *yawn* come on The Cheat, time to hit the sack."
One of the Concession Castle guards lead Homestar to his room. When they got to his room, Homestar really wasn't tired. "Uh, I ain't sleepy yet," Homestar said, "And I really want to check this place out."
"Well okay then," The guard replied, "Just don't get into any trouble."
Homestar then went back to the central area of the Castle. First place to check out for him is through the door to the left of the door leading to the concession stands. One of the doors has a room with four beds, but of course there wasn't any use for that room yet. Homestar left the area, realizing one of the staircases lead to the left tower, where Strong Bad and The Cheat are currently inside. He then decided to check out the door to the right of the door leading to Bubs' Concession Stand room. This room looked like a library to Homestar, but of course he decided to check it out anyways. Some of the most awkward books there are, and even stranger are the ones which chronicle every major event that ever happened in Homestar's world. Homestar noticed someone very familiar as he checked one of the sections. Coach Z was sitting on a chair, reading something.
"Coach Z?" Homestar said.
"Huh? Oh, It's you, Homestar!" Coach Z responded, "Man I thought you weeeeeere gone for good!"
"Uh, me, Strong Bad and the Cheat got here from Cheatshe, and we're on a mission to put a stop to some sort of evil."
"Ooh, great jaerb so far then. Bubs has been waiting for you and I supposed you met up with him?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm sure glad you're gonna be with these people called 'the Returners'. Stinkoman was here several hours ago before you, Strong Bad, or The 'Chort' got here."
"Uh, Stinkoman wus here?"
"Yeah, and he wasn't intending on joining. Too bad, he seemed really powerful."
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Stinkoman was at the room inside the left tower, talking with Coach Z. "So uh, Stinkoman, you deciding to join the Retoorners?" Coach Z asked.
"Uh, what? What is this Retoorners group?" Stinkoman replied.
"Oh sorry. I meant Returniers, no I mean Returners! Yes, Returners! You want to join?"
"No way. I fight solo. There's no way I'm joining!"
"But Stinkoman, the Empire is about to wreak havoc on this world!"
"Empire, wreaking havoc on the world?!? HAAAAA HAHAHAHAHA like I'd fall for that, HAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"Oh geesh. You don't even know the kind of plot they're up to?"
"Nope, and unless they're really a problem, I'm gonna be heading elsewhere. Tell Bubs that there's no way I'm joining anytime soon!"
And with that, Stinkoman ran out the tower, and jumped off.
"Oh geesh, what am I going to tell Bubs?" Coach Z said to himself.
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Coach Z was depressed now. "And now we're doomed to fail," Coach Z concluded.
Homestar Runner was confused. He did not know who Stinkoman is, and what his problem is with not joining. In fact, Homestar still was concerned with himself joining the Returners himself. "Uh, I'm entirely not shoore if I wunt to join either," Homestar said, "But I'll leave that decision when we get to the Returners' hideout."
"Okay, but do note that it would be nice to join, Homestar," Coach Z replied, "After all, you're an excellent runner and athlete, and you do a great 'Joarb' out there!"
"Oh man, you're back to having trouble saying 'job' again, aren't you? Oh well, at least it's better than being called Hamstray, Stairmaster, or whatever."
"Well yeah, so anyways, where's Strong Bad and the Chorp?"
"I don't know. Bubs sayed that they are staying at the left tower, and I'm not sure if Stwong Bah wants me there."
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Strong Bad and The Cheat got to the room. It was enormous. "Oh man, The Cheat, we've struck it lucky!"
Strong Bad notices that everything was transferred to this world: Trogdor Arcade Machine, TV Set and Video Game Systems, and other stuff, but most noticably his Compy 386. The Cheat's stuff is also there, including his iMac system.
"Oh man," Strong Bad said, "I haven't checked my email in like three months."
Strong Bad starts up his Compy 386, and then types in 'strongbad_email.exe' as usual. He receives the following email:
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Dear Strong Bad,
How would it feel if you were in a world directly from a video game? What world would it be?
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Of course, Strong Bad was pretty shocked to see who sent it to him.
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With uh, I dunno,
Locke Cole
---------------
Strong Bad shouted, "Holy Crap! I can't believe I received an email from Locke! If me and the others are in the World of Balance, then the FF6 Characters must be in our turf!"
"Meeeeeeeehmeeeheeeemeeehehe" (No Kidding Strong Bad) The Cheat replied, "Meeeeh maaeeeemh meeaheemh!" (They must be trapped there themselves!)
"Well anyways, I'm crashing for the night. Good night, The Cheat."
Strong Bad then fell asleep and was snoring. Of course, The Cheat didn't feel like sleeping yet, and decides to check things out. The Cheat goes to the library area of the castle, where Homestar Runner and Coach Z are reading all about the World of Balance.
"Hey there, The Chort," Coach Z said to The Cheat.
"Meeehaheh Meeghmeehahheeemeee" (Hello, Coach Z, you accent-plagued person you,) The Cheat replied.
"So, Cheat, how are things going there?" Homestar asked.
"Mehaaheeeheheea Maaaeeeeeheeekeeeh Meeeaaaaneeeheheeeeannnn!" (Well, for one thing, Strong Bad received an email from a character found in Final Fantasy 6!)
"Oh man. That's the most incredible thing I have evar herd!" Homestar thought for a moment, then thought about who Stinkoman is. "Oh btw, The Cheat, do you know of Stinkoman by any chance?"
"Meeeheeehmeeeammmeehmeeanhehene!" (I thought Strong Bad made him up in Email #56, Japanese Cartoon!)
"Oooooooh, I get it, he's not real, but frum whut Coach Z told me, Stinkoman went off somewhere and saying that he didn't want to join something called The Returners or sumethin'. I don't remember where though."
"Well, I guess we should get to sleep I guess. Well, goodnight Homestar. Goodnight The Chorp." Coach Z said, as he walked from the library. Soon, The Cheat returned back to the appropriate tower and Homestar went back to his tower. Homestar fell asleep, and drifted to dreamland...
...or not? A few hours later, The Cheat ran to where Homestar slept and abruptly woke him up. "What is it Cheat?" Homestar asked.
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEHAMEEEMMEEAHH!!" (THE EMPIRE IS HERE! FOLLOW ME!) The Cheat replied, as he lead Homestar up the stairs to the top of the tower.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Outside, Imperial Troops accompany the Children/Arrowed guy.
"Grrrr! Stupid freaking King of Town's orders! Bubs! Why did you have a Concession Castle in the middle of a desert of nowhere?!? Now I have sand all over my boots! clean them off you loonies!" He said.
"Yes sir!" They said, as they wiped the sand off his shoes.
"HAHAHA! That's better you idiots! Lets head towards that Concession Castle! I know that Homestar Runner is here!"
Back at the Concession Castle, Bubs is alerted.
"King Bubs! There's someone from the Empire who wants to meet you!" One of the Concession guards said.
"It's probably that Children/Arrowed Guy!" Bubs replied, "What does he want?"
Before Bubs knew it, Children/Arrowed guy stormed in with his cronies.
"So, how can I help you Children/Arrowed Guy?" Bubs asked.
"Well, some sort of weird creature thing with a hat with a propeller on it recently escaped from us," Children/Arrowed guy replied.
"Uh, this wouldn't happen to involve around that armless wizard we've seen recently and that everyone is chatting on about is it?"
"All lies! He merely has something of ours that is of maximum value, an uh, a Serious Bomb!"
"Sorry. Haven't seen any of the person you see, and we're fresh out of Serious Bombs! Remind me to order more. By the way, you can try some of the other items we have here though."
"No thanks. Hope that we don't find out that you're lying! You don't want anything bad to happen with your precious Concession Castle do you?"
Strong Bad walked out when he saw the Children/Arrowed Guy leave with his cronies.
"Oh man, I can't believe that guy from my comic 'Teen Girl Squad' is actually real! Too bad he's freaking after us!" Strong Bad said.
"Strong Bad," Bubs replied, "We'd better rest up in the meantime. See you in the morning!"
"Okay Bubs."
Strong Bad returned back to his tower. The Cheat ensured that everything is now safe to Homestar Runner, and Homestar went back to sleep. The Cheat went back to the left tower and slept beside Strong Bad. Of course, Coach Z went to Homestar's room.
"Oh there you are Homestar!" Coach Z said, "I need to talk to you."
"Uh, what is it Coach?" Homestar Replied.
"Well, you know that Children/Arrowed Guy is a big trouble maker! What a 'joerhb' we have to do in order to defeat that madman and the King of Town. Luckily they don't know we work for the Returners, and still think we're with the Empire. It's the perfect cover-up. Oh and lastly, there's been strange things going on in our own world. I don't know what it is, but I don't wanna know anyways."
"Okay, but I seem to still be a soldier of that freaking Empire."
"That's reediculous Homestar! They were just using you! Things will be much different now."
"Uh, what am I going to do, Coach?"
"Of course. You still have time to decide on your own. I cannot decide for you there. It's up to you to decide there whether or not you want to accept the 'Jorb'. I know you'll find your way, Homestar."
"Uh, but I don't know whut to do..."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Later that night though, at about approximately midnight, something happened. A panicking Concession Soldier ran to Bubs. "Bubs! something bad is going on!" He said.
"What?" Bubs replied.
Bubs ran outside to see parts of the castle in a blaze, and Children/Arrowed guy with some Imperial Soldiers with him. "Bring me Homestar Runner now, or risk getting Cerebellum'd!" Children/Arrowed guy tells Bubs.
"I don't even know what the hell you're talking about there!" Bubs replied.
"Well then, if you refuse to give Homestar Runner back to the Empire, then welcome to my barbecue Bubs!" Children/Arrowed guy laughed maniacly. "I'll Cerebellum you when the whole place is burnt up!"
"Well, I guess I have no choice!" Bubs said, but he looked at the top of the right tower and saw Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, The Cheat, and Coach Z ready to jump. Bubs then said, "Well actually I do. You guards get ready!"
Bubs ran down through the door and reappeared on the roof with the others.
"Okay now," Coach Z said, "Everyone jump now!"
Everyone jumped down, and landed onto some Chocobos, and fleed the scene.
"That's mature," Children/Arrowed Guy snickered, "Abandon your own kingdom! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!"
Just then, the Castle bundled itself up, and then it burrowed into the ground. Children/Arrowed Guy and his imperial troops, along with a couple of them in Magitek Armor, were all that's standing where Bubs' Concession Castle once stood. "That's it! I'm doing something about it! Arrowed!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted, as he spitted out tons of Arrows. These arrows missed, but one hit the butt of the Chocobo Strong Bad was riding.
"Holy Crap! Whoa there stupid bird! Whoa!" Strong Bad yelled as he lost control of the Chocobo.
"Oh geesh! Time for phase 2! Children!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted as he now drove a Children truck towards Bubs.
"BUBS! LOOK OUT!" Coach Z warned him.
Bubs got out of the way, as well as the others, and the Children/Arrowed guy crashed his Children truck against a large Antlion. "Oh poo. You infidels with the Magitek Armor, get those morons!!!" He shouted at them.
The Imperial Troops now ran towards the group of five and attacked. "Oh you want to play rough don't you? I'll give you rough!" Strong Bad shouted.
Strong Bad punched the Magitek Armor, but couldn't damage it. "Oh, Crap! Those things are freaking invincible!"
Homestar Runner decided to send off a Fire spell on one of the Magitek Armors, lighting it on fire and causing the rider to burn in it.
"Holy creepin' Chorps! Did Homestar use magic?" Coach Z shouted.
"My goodness!" Bubs added, "There seems to be more to Homestar than meets the eye and personality now!"
"I knew that already," Strong Bad replied, "He like used it in Cheatshe to get me and The Cheat out of a dire situation before."
"Where'd you learn that Homestar?" Bubs asked.
"Uh, I didn't mean to use it. I was just saving Stong Bad from getting brutally scratched by one of those impossible to control vehicle things!"
"Hey don't get yourself down there, Homestar!" Coach Z replied, "You're the only one so far who can use magic and we can't even use magic worth crap for brains!"
"Hey Coach Z! 'Crap for Brains' is one of my lines!" Strong Bad shouted.
"Meeehmeeammeehhheemmeeeah!" (Stop chatting and lets face these freaks!) The Cheat reminded them.
"Okay then, The Cheat," Strong Bad replied, "Lets get those freaking morons!"
The Cheat used a new Cheat called the 'Meat Seeker', which happens to be identical to the one found in the game 'PO'ed'. The other Magitek Armor took heavy damage, and was critical. Of course, the rider manage to get off a Fire Beam on The Cheat, causing his head to implode (Like he did in 'The House that Gave Sucky Treats' and the Strong Bad email where he types in an exe involving Homestar's head being exploded). The Magitek Armor then swatted Strong Bad away and used Ice Beam on Coach Z, encasing him in ice. "That absolutely does it! Time to use one of these tools I have up my sleeve!" Bubs said, being mad as hell now.
Bubs whipped out a Drill, and jumped towards the Magitek Armor and drilled into it like there's no tomorrow. The Imperial Soldier riding it could not get out, and couldn't do anything about it. It was damaged to the point now where it could not take anymore pressure, and it exploded in Bubs' face, sending him flying backwards. Homestar was shocked at the sight. "Oh man, that was the most noblest thing to do Bubs. Here, let me heal all of yous, because I just learned how to do it." Homestar said to Bubs.
And with a couple of simple cure spells, everyone was back to normal. The Cheat's head is no longer charred and sticking up, and Coach Z is no longer a popsicle. Strong Bad got up. "Ow. Stupid, freaking Soldiers!" He said.
"Well, lets get going to the Returners' hideout, and meet the leader of that team, The Blacksmith." Bubs reminds everyone.
"No way! I thought the Blacksmith was gone for good since quitting from the King of Town after that lame incident with the King's sheep missing!" Strong Bad replied.
"Yep. He's still around our world, but doing better things than being a Blacksmith for the King of Town. Now, let's ride to cave Concession and proceed to South Concession, then through the mountains to the Returners hideout!"
And so, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Strong Bad, The Cheat, and Bubs got back on the backs of their Chocobos, and continued riding. Meanwhile, the Children/Arrowed guy managed to get out of the sand. "We'll meet again, Homestar Runner, and the next time we battle, you won't be so lucky!"
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What's Children/Arrowed guy up to? Will Homestar be with the Returners? How will Strong Bad answer his emails now that the Concession Castle burrowed under the sand? Find out answers to those and other questions in the next chapter, where they're actually getting on their way to the Returners' hideout!
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Final Fantasy 6 is owned by Squaresoft, or rather Square-Enix.
Homestar Runner is owned by the Brothers Chaps.
Chapter 2: The way of the Concession lands
(At the fields away from Cheatshe)
Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, and the Cheat just got away from the most tempting place ever, Cheatshe, barely escaping with their lives. They definately couldn't get back in anyways, with the heavier security going on now. They are moving through the fields, and of course, having to deal with opposition along the way, mainly monsters like some leafers and stuff. Strong Bad managed to pound the leafers with his boxing gloves, and Homestar burned the other enemies accompanying the leafers. The Cheat threw some bad animation at a group of leafers and were all annihilated by it. The three continue on, and into a desert.
Of course, this Desert was incredibly big, and it would be impossible to find the Concession Castle. Homestar was sweating but still standing, the Cheat fainted of over-exposure, and Strong Bad is sweating and walking low, as if he were ready to collapse of over-exposure to the heat.
"Oh man," Strong Bad complains, "This desert is so freaking huge and I can't stand it!"
"Uh, why are we going through here anyways?" Homestar asked.
"Hey shut up Homestar!" Strong Bad snapped back, "It's bad enough Arvis talked me into rescuing a moron like yourself. Boy you're absolutely stupid!"
Strong Bad always has been harsh towards Homestar, like the whole time. Unfortunately, since he is forced to travel with Homestar, he might as well put up with it. The Cheat was still resting inside a knapsack Strong Bad found near a skeleton, and as well getting tons of goods which surprisingly are in good condition still.
Homestar Runner and Strong Bad continue walking along. Strong Bad couldn't take it anymore and collapsed. "Oh man, why did Bubs decide to have a Concession Castle in the middle of this freaking desert? Why?"
The Cheat got out of the knapsack to answer, "Meeeeaaeeaah Meehiaaheee" (Didn't you bother checking the automap?)
"Oh Crap!" Strong Bad replied, "Why didn't I think of that before?"
Strong Bad pulled out the Automap. Apparantly they were wondering around the border for like, forever. Strong Bad pinpointed the location of the Concession Castle. "The Concession Castle is to the North-east of where we are."
"Okay," Homestar said.
The three then walk in the right direction to the Concession Castle, when they stopped to find many Sand Rays popping out, as well as Areneids. The Cheat climbed out of the Knapsack. "Meeeghahahga!" (Time for flameage!) The Cheat shouted out as he used another Cheat: Grand blaze. The fire toasted the Sand Rays, but the Areneids evaded it and one struck The Cheat. Strong Bad got angry and decided to grab one of the offending Areneids. The Areneid attempted to sting Strong Bad, but unfortunately, Strong Bad's boxing gloves protected him and couldn't get hurt. Strong Bad crushed the critter between the gloves and tossed the dead, crushed body of the Areneid at another, and that one died as well. Homestar finished off the last one by hitting it hard with his baseball bat. Unfortunately, there were more where those came from. "This duz not look good fur Homestar Runner, Stong Bah, and The Cheat," Homestar said.
"For one I agree Homestar," Strong Bad replied, about ready to run away from them.
The three all run away from the chasing Sand Rays and Areneids. Strong Bad keeps looking at the Automap and tells Homestar and The Cheat which way to go to next. Finally, the three lost the critters that have been chasing them for the previous 10 minutes. They finally see an awkward looking place. The bricks that constructed the castle were all a bunch of awkward colours, such as red, blue, green, and yellow. Strong Bad approaches the Concession Castle guard.
"Who do you think you are?" The Concession Castle guard asked Strong Bad.
"For your information there, I'm Strong Bad, and this is Homestar Runner and The Cheat. We're friends of Bubs'. We need to see him right away."
"That's what everyone says these days. Take my advice and get lost!"
A familiar voice came from behind. "Hey! You still keeping out guests again?" It was Bubs. "Hey there Homestar, Strong Bad, and The Cheat. I apologize for the uptight guards at this castle. It's just that there have been many thiefs trying to break in and go off with the goods inside. Anyways, come on in!"
Bubs looks back at the Concession Castle guard and says: "And if you don't do something about that paranoid attitude, I'll have you fired!"
The Concession Castle Guard now shook with fear. He didn't want to be fired, so he went back to his post and tried to remain calm afterwards. Inside the Concession Castle, Bubs leads Homestar, Strong Bad, and The Cheat to the throne room, or should I say Concession Stands room. "Whoa, Bubs!" Strong Bad comments, "There's loads of stuff here, in fact much more than at the Concession Stand back on our world.
"What world?" Bubs asked, "I thought we were still in our own world!"
"Nope. Homestar had some flashbacks before I even came along, and even though I really hate Homestar, I'm gonna have to agree. I hate to say this Bubs, but we are in the World of Balance."
"Well now that makes sense Strong Bad. Me and my squadron searched the whole world for our Apartment, but there doesn't seem to be an apartment anywhere, and not even Strongbadia isn't around! So, I guess we must be in the World of Balance! Anyways Homestar, what mishaps were occurring at the Empire before you evaded them?"
"You don't wunna know," Homestar Runner replies, "But, I'll fill you in. When I woke up after the freaking glowing thing sucked us all in, me and Marzipan found ourselves in Vertex..."
Then there was another flashback...
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Homestar Runner got up. The pull from the Vortex which the TV created got everyone separated, and in a different world. He went to investigate. Everything was quiet. Also, the place was extremely ugly, and composed mostly of metal. Homestar continued walking forward, up the stairs, and decided to check out the Castle. Continuing forward, Homestar walked by the machinery, and watching Imperial troops taking some sort of creatures to another room. "Uh, what's goin' on here you guys?" Homestar asked.
The Imperial troopers looked back, and sighted Homestar. "INTRUDER! GET HIM er, IT!" One of the Imperial Troopers shouted.
"This does not look good for Homestar Runner..." Homestar said to himself, as he prepared to run from the troopers. They chased him through hallways, up the stairs, and Homestar needed some place to hide. Finding a nearby door, he enters it. He was in one of the Crew quarters, and of course he decided to check the place out. Of course, he notices someone is there. It was Marzipan, still unconsious and laying on one of the beds. Homestar went towards Marzipan and shook her to wake her up.
"Uh, what? Where am I?" Marzipan said. She woke up to see Homestar Runner. "Homestar, is that you?"
"Yep, it's me, Homestar Runner."
"Homestar, please explain why we're here."
"Blame Stwong Bad and The Cheat for playing a cursed copy of Final Fantasy Anthology."
"What the crap? I told them not to touch it, because I was concerned about going blind by the glow from there than winding up in this world."
"They didn't even know, and Homeschool Winner was too late to stop them frum doin' so."
"Oh Homestar, how are we going to get out of this world?"
Before Homestar Runner could answer, the Imperial guards busted the door down. "You're a talented freak there," one of the Imperial Soldiers tells them, "And you, Broomstick freak, if you run away the next couple of times, you'll be known as a traitor! Take them away!"
Both Homestar and Marzipan were thrown into a prison. They've been thrown into the same cell. "Oh man, this could be thee end of us," Homestar said.
"Thanks for trying to get me out of here Homestar," Marzipan replied, "But there seems to be no escape from here. Especially since my own dad would do this to me!"
Before they knew it, the cell door opened again, and some sort of person who keeps his mouth opened the whole time walks in.
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Unfortunately, Homestar couldn't remember the whole thing. "Oh man, I forgot what happened afterwards," Homestar said.
"Oh crap!" Strong Bad replied, "You really are dumb! Dumb enough to forget something like that!"
"MEEEHHAHEEHEEEEAHEE! MEEEEHAAMEEEMEEEDEEE!" (Strong Bad! Stop giving Homestar a hard time when he doesn't remember stuff!) The Cheat yelled at Strong Bad.
"Sorry." Strong Bad apologized.
"You all seem tired," Bubs says, "You should rest up and stuff. Homestar, your room is at the right tower of this Castle. Strong Bad and the Cheat, yours are at the left tower."
"Fine by me," Strong Bad replied, "At least I can get away from Homestar and not have to put up with him. This has been a really rough day. *yawn* come on The Cheat, time to hit the sack."
One of the Concession Castle guards lead Homestar to his room. When they got to his room, Homestar really wasn't tired. "Uh, I ain't sleepy yet," Homestar said, "And I really want to check this place out."
"Well okay then," The guard replied, "Just don't get into any trouble."
Homestar then went back to the central area of the Castle. First place to check out for him is through the door to the left of the door leading to the concession stands. One of the doors has a room with four beds, but of course there wasn't any use for that room yet. Homestar left the area, realizing one of the staircases lead to the left tower, where Strong Bad and The Cheat are currently inside. He then decided to check out the door to the right of the door leading to Bubs' Concession Stand room. This room looked like a library to Homestar, but of course he decided to check it out anyways. Some of the most awkward books there are, and even stranger are the ones which chronicle every major event that ever happened in Homestar's world. Homestar noticed someone very familiar as he checked one of the sections. Coach Z was sitting on a chair, reading something.
"Coach Z?" Homestar said.
"Huh? Oh, It's you, Homestar!" Coach Z responded, "Man I thought you weeeeeere gone for good!"
"Uh, me, Strong Bad and the Cheat got here from Cheatshe, and we're on a mission to put a stop to some sort of evil."
"Ooh, great jaerb so far then. Bubs has been waiting for you and I supposed you met up with him?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm sure glad you're gonna be with these people called 'the Returners'. Stinkoman was here several hours ago before you, Strong Bad, or The 'Chort' got here."
"Uh, Stinkoman wus here?"
"Yeah, and he wasn't intending on joining. Too bad, he seemed really powerful."
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Stinkoman was at the room inside the left tower, talking with Coach Z. "So uh, Stinkoman, you deciding to join the Retoorners?" Coach Z asked.
"Uh, what? What is this Retoorners group?" Stinkoman replied.
"Oh sorry. I meant Returniers, no I mean Returners! Yes, Returners! You want to join?"
"No way. I fight solo. There's no way I'm joining!"
"But Stinkoman, the Empire is about to wreak havoc on this world!"
"Empire, wreaking havoc on the world?!? HAAAAA HAHAHAHAHA like I'd fall for that, HAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"Oh geesh. You don't even know the kind of plot they're up to?"
"Nope, and unless they're really a problem, I'm gonna be heading elsewhere. Tell Bubs that there's no way I'm joining anytime soon!"
And with that, Stinkoman ran out the tower, and jumped off.
"Oh geesh, what am I going to tell Bubs?" Coach Z said to himself.
=====================================
Coach Z was depressed now. "And now we're doomed to fail," Coach Z concluded.
Homestar Runner was confused. He did not know who Stinkoman is, and what his problem is with not joining. In fact, Homestar still was concerned with himself joining the Returners himself. "Uh, I'm entirely not shoore if I wunt to join either," Homestar said, "But I'll leave that decision when we get to the Returners' hideout."
"Okay, but do note that it would be nice to join, Homestar," Coach Z replied, "After all, you're an excellent runner and athlete, and you do a great 'Joarb' out there!"
"Oh man, you're back to having trouble saying 'job' again, aren't you? Oh well, at least it's better than being called Hamstray, Stairmaster, or whatever."
"Well yeah, so anyways, where's Strong Bad and the Chorp?"
"I don't know. Bubs sayed that they are staying at the left tower, and I'm not sure if Stwong Bah wants me there."
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Strong Bad and The Cheat got to the room. It was enormous. "Oh man, The Cheat, we've struck it lucky!"
Strong Bad notices that everything was transferred to this world: Trogdor Arcade Machine, TV Set and Video Game Systems, and other stuff, but most noticably his Compy 386. The Cheat's stuff is also there, including his iMac system.
"Oh man," Strong Bad said, "I haven't checked my email in like three months."
Strong Bad starts up his Compy 386, and then types in 'strongbad_email.exe' as usual. He receives the following email:
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Dear Strong Bad,
How would it feel if you were in a world directly from a video game? What world would it be?
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Of course, Strong Bad was pretty shocked to see who sent it to him.
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With uh, I dunno,
Locke Cole
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Strong Bad shouted, "Holy Crap! I can't believe I received an email from Locke! If me and the others are in the World of Balance, then the FF6 Characters must be in our turf!"
"Meeeeeeeehmeeeheeeemeeehehe" (No Kidding Strong Bad) The Cheat replied, "Meeeeh maaeeeemh meeaheemh!" (They must be trapped there themselves!)
"Well anyways, I'm crashing for the night. Good night, The Cheat."
Strong Bad then fell asleep and was snoring. Of course, The Cheat didn't feel like sleeping yet, and decides to check things out. The Cheat goes to the library area of the castle, where Homestar Runner and Coach Z are reading all about the World of Balance.
"Hey there, The Chort," Coach Z said to The Cheat.
"Meeehaheh Meeghmeehahheeemeee" (Hello, Coach Z, you accent-plagued person you,) The Cheat replied.
"So, Cheat, how are things going there?" Homestar asked.
"Mehaaheeeheheea Maaaeeeeeheeekeeeh Meeeaaaaneeeheheeeeannnn!" (Well, for one thing, Strong Bad received an email from a character found in Final Fantasy 6!)
"Oh man. That's the most incredible thing I have evar herd!" Homestar thought for a moment, then thought about who Stinkoman is. "Oh btw, The Cheat, do you know of Stinkoman by any chance?"
"Meeeheeehmeeeammmeehmeeanhehene!" (I thought Strong Bad made him up in Email #56, Japanese Cartoon!)
"Oooooooh, I get it, he's not real, but frum whut Coach Z told me, Stinkoman went off somewhere and saying that he didn't want to join something called The Returners or sumethin'. I don't remember where though."
"Well, I guess we should get to sleep I guess. Well, goodnight Homestar. Goodnight The Chorp." Coach Z said, as he walked from the library. Soon, The Cheat returned back to the appropriate tower and Homestar went back to his tower. Homestar fell asleep, and drifted to dreamland...
...or not? A few hours later, The Cheat ran to where Homestar slept and abruptly woke him up. "What is it Cheat?" Homestar asked.
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEEHAMEEEMMEEAHH!!" (THE EMPIRE IS HERE! FOLLOW ME!) The Cheat replied, as he lead Homestar up the stairs to the top of the tower.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Outside, Imperial Troops accompany the Children/Arrowed guy.
"Grrrr! Stupid freaking King of Town's orders! Bubs! Why did you have a Concession Castle in the middle of a desert of nowhere?!? Now I have sand all over my boots! clean them off you loonies!" He said.
"Yes sir!" They said, as they wiped the sand off his shoes.
"HAHAHA! That's better you idiots! Lets head towards that Concession Castle! I know that Homestar Runner is here!"
Back at the Concession Castle, Bubs is alerted.
"King Bubs! There's someone from the Empire who wants to meet you!" One of the Concession guards said.
"It's probably that Children/Arrowed Guy!" Bubs replied, "What does he want?"
Before Bubs knew it, Children/Arrowed guy stormed in with his cronies.
"So, how can I help you Children/Arrowed Guy?" Bubs asked.
"Well, some sort of weird creature thing with a hat with a propeller on it recently escaped from us," Children/Arrowed guy replied.
"Uh, this wouldn't happen to involve around that armless wizard we've seen recently and that everyone is chatting on about is it?"
"All lies! He merely has something of ours that is of maximum value, an uh, a Serious Bomb!"
"Sorry. Haven't seen any of the person you see, and we're fresh out of Serious Bombs! Remind me to order more. By the way, you can try some of the other items we have here though."
"No thanks. Hope that we don't find out that you're lying! You don't want anything bad to happen with your precious Concession Castle do you?"
Strong Bad walked out when he saw the Children/Arrowed Guy leave with his cronies.
"Oh man, I can't believe that guy from my comic 'Teen Girl Squad' is actually real! Too bad he's freaking after us!" Strong Bad said.
"Strong Bad," Bubs replied, "We'd better rest up in the meantime. See you in the morning!"
"Okay Bubs."
Strong Bad returned back to his tower. The Cheat ensured that everything is now safe to Homestar Runner, and Homestar went back to sleep. The Cheat went back to the left tower and slept beside Strong Bad. Of course, Coach Z went to Homestar's room.
"Oh there you are Homestar!" Coach Z said, "I need to talk to you."
"Uh, what is it Coach?" Homestar Replied.
"Well, you know that Children/Arrowed Guy is a big trouble maker! What a 'joerhb' we have to do in order to defeat that madman and the King of Town. Luckily they don't know we work for the Returners, and still think we're with the Empire. It's the perfect cover-up. Oh and lastly, there's been strange things going on in our own world. I don't know what it is, but I don't wanna know anyways."
"Okay, but I seem to still be a soldier of that freaking Empire."
"That's reediculous Homestar! They were just using you! Things will be much different now."
"Uh, what am I going to do, Coach?"
"Of course. You still have time to decide on your own. I cannot decide for you there. It's up to you to decide there whether or not you want to accept the 'Jorb'. I know you'll find your way, Homestar."
"Uh, but I don't know whut to do..."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Later that night though, at about approximately midnight, something happened. A panicking Concession Soldier ran to Bubs. "Bubs! something bad is going on!" He said.
"What?" Bubs replied.
Bubs ran outside to see parts of the castle in a blaze, and Children/Arrowed guy with some Imperial Soldiers with him. "Bring me Homestar Runner now, or risk getting Cerebellum'd!" Children/Arrowed guy tells Bubs.
"I don't even know what the hell you're talking about there!" Bubs replied.
"Well then, if you refuse to give Homestar Runner back to the Empire, then welcome to my barbecue Bubs!" Children/Arrowed guy laughed maniacly. "I'll Cerebellum you when the whole place is burnt up!"
"Well, I guess I have no choice!" Bubs said, but he looked at the top of the right tower and saw Homestar Runner, Strong Bad, The Cheat, and Coach Z ready to jump. Bubs then said, "Well actually I do. You guards get ready!"
Bubs ran down through the door and reappeared on the roof with the others.
"Okay now," Coach Z said, "Everyone jump now!"
Everyone jumped down, and landed onto some Chocobos, and fleed the scene.
"That's mature," Children/Arrowed Guy snickered, "Abandon your own kingdom! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!"
Just then, the Castle bundled itself up, and then it burrowed into the ground. Children/Arrowed Guy and his imperial troops, along with a couple of them in Magitek Armor, were all that's standing where Bubs' Concession Castle once stood. "That's it! I'm doing something about it! Arrowed!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted, as he spitted out tons of Arrows. These arrows missed, but one hit the butt of the Chocobo Strong Bad was riding.
"Holy Crap! Whoa there stupid bird! Whoa!" Strong Bad yelled as he lost control of the Chocobo.
"Oh geesh! Time for phase 2! Children!" Children/Arrowed Guy shouted as he now drove a Children truck towards Bubs.
"BUBS! LOOK OUT!" Coach Z warned him.
Bubs got out of the way, as well as the others, and the Children/Arrowed guy crashed his Children truck against a large Antlion. "Oh poo. You infidels with the Magitek Armor, get those morons!!!" He shouted at them.
The Imperial Troops now ran towards the group of five and attacked. "Oh you want to play rough don't you? I'll give you rough!" Strong Bad shouted.
Strong Bad punched the Magitek Armor, but couldn't damage it. "Oh, Crap! Those things are freaking invincible!"
Homestar Runner decided to send off a Fire spell on one of the Magitek Armors, lighting it on fire and causing the rider to burn in it.
"Holy creepin' Chorps! Did Homestar use magic?" Coach Z shouted.
"My goodness!" Bubs added, "There seems to be more to Homestar than meets the eye and personality now!"
"I knew that already," Strong Bad replied, "He like used it in Cheatshe to get me and The Cheat out of a dire situation before."
"Where'd you learn that Homestar?" Bubs asked.
"Uh, I didn't mean to use it. I was just saving Stong Bad from getting brutally scratched by one of those impossible to control vehicle things!"
"Hey don't get yourself down there, Homestar!" Coach Z replied, "You're the only one so far who can use magic and we can't even use magic worth crap for brains!"
"Hey Coach Z! 'Crap for Brains' is one of my lines!" Strong Bad shouted.
"Meeehmeeammeehhheemmeeeah!" (Stop chatting and lets face these freaks!) The Cheat reminded them.
"Okay then, The Cheat," Strong Bad replied, "Lets get those freaking morons!"
The Cheat used a new Cheat called the 'Meat Seeker', which happens to be identical to the one found in the game 'PO'ed'. The other Magitek Armor took heavy damage, and was critical. Of course, the rider manage to get off a Fire Beam on The Cheat, causing his head to implode (Like he did in 'The House that Gave Sucky Treats' and the Strong Bad email where he types in an exe involving Homestar's head being exploded). The Magitek Armor then swatted Strong Bad away and used Ice Beam on Coach Z, encasing him in ice. "That absolutely does it! Time to use one of these tools I have up my sleeve!" Bubs said, being mad as hell now.
Bubs whipped out a Drill, and jumped towards the Magitek Armor and drilled into it like there's no tomorrow. The Imperial Soldier riding it could not get out, and couldn't do anything about it. It was damaged to the point now where it could not take anymore pressure, and it exploded in Bubs' face, sending him flying backwards. Homestar was shocked at the sight. "Oh man, that was the most noblest thing to do Bubs. Here, let me heal all of yous, because I just learned how to do it." Homestar said to Bubs.
And with a couple of simple cure spells, everyone was back to normal. The Cheat's head is no longer charred and sticking up, and Coach Z is no longer a popsicle. Strong Bad got up. "Ow. Stupid, freaking Soldiers!" He said.
"Well, lets get going to the Returners' hideout, and meet the leader of that team, The Blacksmith." Bubs reminds everyone.
"No way! I thought the Blacksmith was gone for good since quitting from the King of Town after that lame incident with the King's sheep missing!" Strong Bad replied.
"Yep. He's still around our world, but doing better things than being a Blacksmith for the King of Town. Now, let's ride to cave Concession and proceed to South Concession, then through the mountains to the Returners hideout!"
And so, Homestar Runner, Coach Z, Strong Bad, The Cheat, and Bubs got back on the backs of their Chocobos, and continued riding. Meanwhile, the Children/Arrowed guy managed to get out of the sand. "We'll meet again, Homestar Runner, and the next time we battle, you won't be so lucky!"
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What's Children/Arrowed guy up to? Will Homestar be with the Returners? How will Strong Bad answer his emails now that the Concession Castle burrowed under the sand? Find out answers to those and other questions in the next chapter, where they're actually getting on their way to the Returners' hideout!
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