Ch 14 Dolores Jane Umbridge
'Who do you reckon has taken the assignments?' asked Hermione concerned, we were sitting in the great hall having the breakfast. 'think it's Peeves? He's always -'
'Doubt so, as long as he don't get them back, we don't have to worry about getting a D or a P. And aren't you tired of discussing this topic?' said Harry.
'Wicked!' I said.
'Fine!' snapped Hermione.
Crack.
Dumbledore had apparated into the great hall. When he appeared, he clumsily stepped on his dark blue robes, tripped and felled onto Macgonagall, causing the both of them to roll and tumble down the stairs.
'Ouch! Headmaster... you are... gerroff me.' she laid on the floor, trying to battle a struggling Dumbledore off her, finally, managing to kick him off. She stood up and started to brush the dirt off her Tartan robes as the whole hall moved forward to have a better look.
'What?' she snapped. 'Have you got nothing better to do? Get back to your tables or I'll have to deduct points from your houses. Go on, get back. Stop looking, there's nothing to see... Shoo...'
Suddenly a loud wail sounded from behind Macgonagall.
'Waaaaahhhh...!' went Dumbledore.
'Professor?' asked Macgonagall softly. A buzz of whispers broke out again as it had happened several times before when something unusual happened.
'What's happened?'
'Is that Professor Dumbledore sitting...'
'Why is Dumbledore crying?'
I heard a Malfoy saying at the other side, 'Father always says that Dumbledore was the WORST thing EVER happened.'
'You are WRONG!' said Goyle loudly and dumbly.
'What, you think there's someone here who's worse than Dumbledore? Well, Do ya?' Malfoy asked eyeing Goyle suspisiously. Goyle just continued staring stupidly ay Malfoy.
Then Dumbledore suddenly stopped crying. He pulled out a watch, quite different from the one he usually wears (twelve hands), he pulled out a very normal watch, and looked at it smiled very happily and said,
'Ha, broke my record again, this time I only cried for fifteen seconds. The last time I had a boo boo, I cried for twenty two seconds. Record that down, Minerva.'
The teacher went back to their seats, Professor Sprout was starring curiously at Dumbledore, Hagrid was sitting with his mouth wide open, Macgonagall was busy tutting away, Umbridge sat at a corner talking to herself and Snape looked as if nothing had happened. Malfoy and his gang was laughing away at the Slytherin table.
'How long do you reckon he's cried? I mean the longest. An hour?' said Fred smiling.
'Or two?' George added in.
'Bet it's five!' Ginny piped in.
'A whole day,' suggested Seamus.
'Probably till his eyes were too dry, then he stopped when it could no longer tear.' said Dean.
'Then his wife found out, thought that he-' continued Seamus but was again interruped by Hermione's loud 'tut'. Just then Dumbledore disapparated, followed by another loud 'tut' from Hermione.
Umbridge stood up next and started to screech, causing everyone to cover their ears 'Today, I would like to...'
By the time she finish lecturing the school about some stuff related to her own social life, half the school had apparated including the teachers. And by the time Hermione finished tutting, everyone had gone for their lessons.
History of Magic with Professor Binns (the only ghost teacher)that afternoon was as boring as any other lessons they had with him, but a different kind of boring. Usually, during his lessons, he would go on and on about history, till the whole class(except Hermione of course) had their heads down. But today, he sat there looking gloomy, staring at the back of the class and told us to read out books. Occasionally saying things like, 'How could this happen...' and, 'Never in my life...'
'It's only a stack of parchment, what-' Seamus tried to confort him.
'What? Only a stack of parchment, it's... it's... That's an insult! I'm not so irresponsible as you...you think, you know what they (he meant the other ghosts) say behind my back? They... they...' before he could finish, he flew out of the room whining loudly.
'Wicked!' I said.
'You know something? I reckon he needs some-' Seamus said angrily, but was yet again interrupted by Hermione's loud 'tut'.
'What? I only wanted to say, he-' Seamus said. At that precise moment, the bell rang, drowning his voice.
We headed to the Defence against the Dark Arts classroom next. When we walked in, Umbridge was already sitting there, smiling, her toad like mouth looked twice as large as it usually seemed. The room looked very different. It was decorated with pink streamers, it looked like she had had a party before this. Pictures of Mad-eye Moody-like cats hung across the room. All the walls were filled from celing to floor. She was wearing a tight pinkish dress with laces all over it you don't know where it started and ended. She was wearing a pair if heeled shoes that looked as if it had been forced on her short stubby legs. And that bright pink ribbon on her hair now had flowers all over it.
'Good morning class.' she said (though it was past noon) in that same high voice she had used many times before. 'No, no, no, louder, I can't hear you. Good! Let me introduce you to your new defence against the dark arts teacher, ME! Dolores Jane Umbridge. Order of... errrm... the ...errmmm.... the high insquiting... I mean the highest...inquitisitor, no... the inquitetheatitor... and errr... All right everybody, wands away please.' she said in her sweetest voice. Everyone groaned.
'Might as well, better than trying to get the stone out of the mirror.' I said but I was wrong.
'Books away everyone.' she screeched. Everyone looked at each other. I raised my eyebrows.
'I want to train you all up, in case you need to defend yourself against the errr... errrm... Today, we are going to exercise a bit, remember...' she went on ranting.
'Exercise what? Is she giving us a quiz on herself? What Is Dolores Umbridge favorite colour-' Harry asked.
'...so you need to train to protect yourself against, errr... errr... I know, filthy half breeds! So today we are going to do jumping jacks! Everyone spread yourselves out, hurry, ok, one, two, three!' She started jumping up and down while everybody stared at her with opened mouths. After a what she called hard exercise, or rather jumping seven times, she stopped, started panting like mad.
'Ok, your turn... hurry... do me... fifty times... don't just stand there... start now.' she screeched breathelessly. Everyone started hopping slowly and waving their arms, some pretenting to hop. Harry and I just stood there, watching the others hopping around or to be more accurate, dancing. After fifteen minutes of mad dancing, she finally told us to stop.
'All right! I see that you have- Ahhhhhhh...!' Umbridge screamed holding out her hand and waving it crazily. 'My fingernails! I've broke them! Oh no, the horror! My fingernails have been petrified, I mean broken, all I see is some punishment! Mr Potter! Dentention!'
'Why me? I didn't do-' asked Harry angrily.
'Oh, we will be able to grow them back Dolores. All we need is some Nail-gro. You will just have to go and see Poppy. And you will probably have to stay there for the night.' said Dumbledore who had just apparated into the classroom.
'What? Me? Stay in the hospital wing tonight? Alone? What if a dirty rotten snake suddenly appears and petrify me? What if a house elf appears and ask me to go home? What if-' she said shrilly.
'But you are our Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, remember?' said Seamus loudly.
'Detention! Mr whatever-your-name-is' Umbridge barked.
'But you really are our-' said Dean.
'You too! Mr I-don't-know-who-you-are.' snapped Umbridge.
'Now, Dolores-' started Dumbledore.
'Wait till the ministry hears about this... me at the hospital wing... ridiculous... I'll write a report, ban everyone from going to the hospital wing... another degree...' Umbridge walked slowly out of the classroom talking to herself.
'Wicked!' I said.
We walked into the Great Hall the next day for dinner. I sat beside Harry who was holding his bloody hand and the back of it read, 'I must not petrify Dolores' fingernails ever again.'
Hermione sat in front of us, drawing up timetable for the whole school.
'Hermione? Why are you-' started Harry.
'Oh, don't worry.' answered Hermione.
'Huh?' asked Harry. Hermione smiled at Harry and then turned back to her timetable.
'Look at this!' said a loud voice. Seamus and Dean walked in. 'Look what she made us do.' said Seamus holding up his hand. 'I must not be rude to Dolores Umbridge ever again.'
'Bloody hell!' I said.
'It's bloody hand you mean.' corrected George.
Suddenly an owl flew across the Great hall, over Umbridge's head, causing her to scream, then landed on Hermione's Head.
'Owl post!' shouted Seamus.
'Owl post? At this time? I thought it usually comes in the morning.' said Ginny.
'Yeah.' agreed Neville who was sitting next to her. Hermione just smiled, opened the envelope, pulled out a long parchment and started reading quickly, her eyes darted across the parchment and within a minute, she placed it back into the envelope and ran off to the library leaving all her timetables behind.
'Hermione?' Ginny called after her.
'What do you reckon is wrong with her?' said Fred shaking his head.
'What d'you think is that about?' asked Harry. I heard Malfoy saying loudly at the Slytherin's table, 'Once a mudblood, always a mudblood.'
'Who do you reckon has taken the assignments?' asked Hermione concerned, we were sitting in the great hall having the breakfast. 'think it's Peeves? He's always -'
'Doubt so, as long as he don't get them back, we don't have to worry about getting a D or a P. And aren't you tired of discussing this topic?' said Harry.
'Wicked!' I said.
'Fine!' snapped Hermione.
Crack.
Dumbledore had apparated into the great hall. When he appeared, he clumsily stepped on his dark blue robes, tripped and felled onto Macgonagall, causing the both of them to roll and tumble down the stairs.
'Ouch! Headmaster... you are... gerroff me.' she laid on the floor, trying to battle a struggling Dumbledore off her, finally, managing to kick him off. She stood up and started to brush the dirt off her Tartan robes as the whole hall moved forward to have a better look.
'What?' she snapped. 'Have you got nothing better to do? Get back to your tables or I'll have to deduct points from your houses. Go on, get back. Stop looking, there's nothing to see... Shoo...'
Suddenly a loud wail sounded from behind Macgonagall.
'Waaaaahhhh...!' went Dumbledore.
'Professor?' asked Macgonagall softly. A buzz of whispers broke out again as it had happened several times before when something unusual happened.
'What's happened?'
'Is that Professor Dumbledore sitting...'
'Why is Dumbledore crying?'
I heard a Malfoy saying at the other side, 'Father always says that Dumbledore was the WORST thing EVER happened.'
'You are WRONG!' said Goyle loudly and dumbly.
'What, you think there's someone here who's worse than Dumbledore? Well, Do ya?' Malfoy asked eyeing Goyle suspisiously. Goyle just continued staring stupidly ay Malfoy.
Then Dumbledore suddenly stopped crying. He pulled out a watch, quite different from the one he usually wears (twelve hands), he pulled out a very normal watch, and looked at it smiled very happily and said,
'Ha, broke my record again, this time I only cried for fifteen seconds. The last time I had a boo boo, I cried for twenty two seconds. Record that down, Minerva.'
The teacher went back to their seats, Professor Sprout was starring curiously at Dumbledore, Hagrid was sitting with his mouth wide open, Macgonagall was busy tutting away, Umbridge sat at a corner talking to herself and Snape looked as if nothing had happened. Malfoy and his gang was laughing away at the Slytherin table.
'How long do you reckon he's cried? I mean the longest. An hour?' said Fred smiling.
'Or two?' George added in.
'Bet it's five!' Ginny piped in.
'A whole day,' suggested Seamus.
'Probably till his eyes were too dry, then he stopped when it could no longer tear.' said Dean.
'Then his wife found out, thought that he-' continued Seamus but was again interruped by Hermione's loud 'tut'. Just then Dumbledore disapparated, followed by another loud 'tut' from Hermione.
Umbridge stood up next and started to screech, causing everyone to cover their ears 'Today, I would like to...'
By the time she finish lecturing the school about some stuff related to her own social life, half the school had apparated including the teachers. And by the time Hermione finished tutting, everyone had gone for their lessons.
History of Magic with Professor Binns (the only ghost teacher)that afternoon was as boring as any other lessons they had with him, but a different kind of boring. Usually, during his lessons, he would go on and on about history, till the whole class(except Hermione of course) had their heads down. But today, he sat there looking gloomy, staring at the back of the class and told us to read out books. Occasionally saying things like, 'How could this happen...' and, 'Never in my life...'
'It's only a stack of parchment, what-' Seamus tried to confort him.
'What? Only a stack of parchment, it's... it's... That's an insult! I'm not so irresponsible as you...you think, you know what they (he meant the other ghosts) say behind my back? They... they...' before he could finish, he flew out of the room whining loudly.
'Wicked!' I said.
'You know something? I reckon he needs some-' Seamus said angrily, but was yet again interrupted by Hermione's loud 'tut'.
'What? I only wanted to say, he-' Seamus said. At that precise moment, the bell rang, drowning his voice.
We headed to the Defence against the Dark Arts classroom next. When we walked in, Umbridge was already sitting there, smiling, her toad like mouth looked twice as large as it usually seemed. The room looked very different. It was decorated with pink streamers, it looked like she had had a party before this. Pictures of Mad-eye Moody-like cats hung across the room. All the walls were filled from celing to floor. She was wearing a tight pinkish dress with laces all over it you don't know where it started and ended. She was wearing a pair if heeled shoes that looked as if it had been forced on her short stubby legs. And that bright pink ribbon on her hair now had flowers all over it.
'Good morning class.' she said (though it was past noon) in that same high voice she had used many times before. 'No, no, no, louder, I can't hear you. Good! Let me introduce you to your new defence against the dark arts teacher, ME! Dolores Jane Umbridge. Order of... errrm... the ...errmmm.... the high insquiting... I mean the highest...inquitisitor, no... the inquitetheatitor... and errr... All right everybody, wands away please.' she said in her sweetest voice. Everyone groaned.
'Might as well, better than trying to get the stone out of the mirror.' I said but I was wrong.
'Books away everyone.' she screeched. Everyone looked at each other. I raised my eyebrows.
'I want to train you all up, in case you need to defend yourself against the errr... errrm... Today, we are going to exercise a bit, remember...' she went on ranting.
'Exercise what? Is she giving us a quiz on herself? What Is Dolores Umbridge favorite colour-' Harry asked.
'...so you need to train to protect yourself against, errr... errr... I know, filthy half breeds! So today we are going to do jumping jacks! Everyone spread yourselves out, hurry, ok, one, two, three!' She started jumping up and down while everybody stared at her with opened mouths. After a what she called hard exercise, or rather jumping seven times, she stopped, started panting like mad.
'Ok, your turn... hurry... do me... fifty times... don't just stand there... start now.' she screeched breathelessly. Everyone started hopping slowly and waving their arms, some pretenting to hop. Harry and I just stood there, watching the others hopping around or to be more accurate, dancing. After fifteen minutes of mad dancing, she finally told us to stop.
'All right! I see that you have- Ahhhhhhh...!' Umbridge screamed holding out her hand and waving it crazily. 'My fingernails! I've broke them! Oh no, the horror! My fingernails have been petrified, I mean broken, all I see is some punishment! Mr Potter! Dentention!'
'Why me? I didn't do-' asked Harry angrily.
'Oh, we will be able to grow them back Dolores. All we need is some Nail-gro. You will just have to go and see Poppy. And you will probably have to stay there for the night.' said Dumbledore who had just apparated into the classroom.
'What? Me? Stay in the hospital wing tonight? Alone? What if a dirty rotten snake suddenly appears and petrify me? What if a house elf appears and ask me to go home? What if-' she said shrilly.
'But you are our Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, remember?' said Seamus loudly.
'Detention! Mr whatever-your-name-is' Umbridge barked.
'But you really are our-' said Dean.
'You too! Mr I-don't-know-who-you-are.' snapped Umbridge.
'Now, Dolores-' started Dumbledore.
'Wait till the ministry hears about this... me at the hospital wing... ridiculous... I'll write a report, ban everyone from going to the hospital wing... another degree...' Umbridge walked slowly out of the classroom talking to herself.
'Wicked!' I said.
We walked into the Great Hall the next day for dinner. I sat beside Harry who was holding his bloody hand and the back of it read, 'I must not petrify Dolores' fingernails ever again.'
Hermione sat in front of us, drawing up timetable for the whole school.
'Hermione? Why are you-' started Harry.
'Oh, don't worry.' answered Hermione.
'Huh?' asked Harry. Hermione smiled at Harry and then turned back to her timetable.
'Look at this!' said a loud voice. Seamus and Dean walked in. 'Look what she made us do.' said Seamus holding up his hand. 'I must not be rude to Dolores Umbridge ever again.'
'Bloody hell!' I said.
'It's bloody hand you mean.' corrected George.
Suddenly an owl flew across the Great hall, over Umbridge's head, causing her to scream, then landed on Hermione's Head.
'Owl post!' shouted Seamus.
'Owl post? At this time? I thought it usually comes in the morning.' said Ginny.
'Yeah.' agreed Neville who was sitting next to her. Hermione just smiled, opened the envelope, pulled out a long parchment and started reading quickly, her eyes darted across the parchment and within a minute, she placed it back into the envelope and ran off to the library leaving all her timetables behind.
'Hermione?' Ginny called after her.
'What do you reckon is wrong with her?' said Fred shaking his head.
'What d'you think is that about?' asked Harry. I heard Malfoy saying loudly at the Slytherin's table, 'Once a mudblood, always a mudblood.'