Disclaimer: this is your standard disclaimer, but since it's required, here we go. I do not own any aspect of the entire Harry Potter books, movies, toys, and other merchandise. I also do not own Microsoft or any of their operating systems. Also, I've never heard of the "1st annual clean car contest".
AN: there was no fanfiction of Harry Potter in '96, but just let that slide, ok? I couldn't find a way to work it so he's still in school and able to look at today's FanFiction page.
Year 5, summer vacation (1996)Finally, they're going to leave the house for a while. I just hope that my making up of the "1st annual clean car contest" will keep the Dursleys away for several hours. It's supposedly all the way in Edinburgh, so it should take a LONG time. Hmm, what'll I do…ooh! Dudley's computer! I haven't used one of these things in ages…Windows 95? Last system I used had 3.1, but I should manage.
Ok, there's a link for "Internet Explorer." What the hell is Internet Explorer? double clicks Oh, it's kinda like Netscape, let's hope I can remember how to use it. And the home page is…Yahoo? Who comes up with these stupid names? Heh, let's try something types in "hogwarts" and clicks Search. What the hell? Why is there a site for Hogwarts, with all of the wizarding world's secrecy? I'll click on it, and see what's there.
Ooh, here's a picture of the 3rd year Quidditch cup…don't I look good? And that's the biggest (and most maniacal) smile I've ever seen on Oliver's face. Who took this picture? Oh, it was Creevy. Who else? Huh? Why is a link on the first page for "Fan Fiction?" What is fanfiction? I'll go there next.
Ok, so these are stories about ME. How does that work? I'm just a kid. Is this site a haven for freaks who want to write lies about me? Those bastards! What is this?!? "Harry/Giant Squid Slash?!?" I gotta see this. clicks on that link Oh, this is NASTY! I gotta tell Hermione about this before I go nuts. picks up phone to hear hissing and other assorted electronic sound What? Oh yeah, I have to disconnect. disconnects, picks up phone Much better. dials number
Hello? May I talk to Hermione please? I'm a friend of hers from school. Thanks. Hermione? It's Harry. Yes, it's good to hear from you too. Wait a sec, I have to ask you something. Do you have a computer with a modem? Could you go to Yahoo, type in "Hogwarts," then click on the "FanFiction" link? Thanks. Yeah, the one about me and the squid caught my eye too. What's that? You saw one with you and Filch? That's even worse than the one I saw with you and Rita Skeeter. Okay, why is there a Hogwarts site in the first place? Doesn't that break the wizard secrecy laws? Why not? Oh, so the Ministry of Magic is probably gonna come up with laws to stop wizard sites soon. All right, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't going crazy when I saw that fanfiction page. See you at school soon. Bye!
I gotta see more of these stories to see if any have a modicum of truth to them. reconnects Well, most of these are pretty stupid, they're all about people from school having relationships, no matter how much they loathe each other in real life. I think I'll write one, nobody will ever know it's actually me writing this.
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Finally, I'm complete. What should I call this? How about "Harry Potter finds the Harry Potter FanFiction"? That works. clicks "submit"