WHACK!
"Ow!" Jack was jolted awake by a hard box across the head by something incredibly
useful for hitting awake; obviously. Sitting up abruptly to see his attacker, he was
astonished to see that the weapon was an empty beer bottle, and attached to it was an
extremely angry hooker, who was babbling incoherently at the top of her voice.
"-and-you-never-came-back-when-you-said-all-those-nice-things-to-me-and-I-thought-I-h
ad-changed-or-something-but-no-you-had-to-go-and-run-off-before-I-even-got-my-fare-a
nd-what-was-I-supposed-to-do-without-any-money-you-twisted-son-of-a-bitch-I-barely-h
ave-enough-for-food-but-that-doesn't-stop-you-from-"
"Can't a man get some bloody sleep his only night back in Tortuga!? Jesus Christ,
Scarlet!" Jack bellowed over the hooker, his head throbbing.
"Have you even listened to a word I've said!?" Scarlet fumed, panting and out of breath.
"Of course not; forgive me for being confused!" Jack replied haughtily. "What are you
doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you be busy at work or something?" Then he propped
himself up on his elbows and twisted his mustache about. His voice became calm and
sensual. "Unless you have come back because you just couldn't resist me." He gave an
irresistible smile.
Scarlet's eyes seemed about to pop out of her head. "Bastard!" she shrieked, "Maybe this
is something you can understand!" She bent down; Jack, expecting her to come up with
some sort of an extremely painful murderous weapon, prepared for the worst. But what
she came up with, made him fall out of bed.
"A - a - a baby!?" Jack stuttered. The kid cried. "But - what do you want me to do with
it!?" he said, eyeing the boy's fuzzy bit of black hair and dirty clothes.
"It's yours," Scarlet grumbled. "Keep it."
"I most certainly will NOT!" Jack protested. "I can't go around taking babies from every
hooker that happens to get pregnant - how do you even know it's mine!?"
"Yo ho," the kid gurgled. "Yo ho yo ho yo ho."
Jack blinked. Scarlet stared.
"That doesn't prove a thing," Jack said.
"Rrrum, savveeee?" the boy squealed.
There was more blinking and staring.
"I won't take it," Jack said simply. "And you can't make me."
"You have to take it! I can't keep it! What with you not even paying me for it! I've been
keeping it for two years and it's been the worst nightmare ever! No business, haven't
eaten a meal for weeks... I can't have a kid!" Scarlet shouted.
"I can't have a kid, either! I'm a captain of a bloody pirate ship, and I have no time to
take care of pip-squeak brats!" Jack shouted back.
"Well, you know what?" Scarlet said dangerously. "It's yours now." And she dropped
the gurgling boy on the bed and left, slamming the door.
"I'll kill it!" Jack bellowed after her. The door didn't open again.
"You're going straight to Davie Jones' Locker," Jack threatened, picking the kid up like a
football and hurrying from the room.
Ten minutes later...
"So what are you planning on doing with 'im, cap'n?" Gibbs asked, peeping over at the
little boy who was scarfing down bread below deck on the Black Pearl like there was no
tomorrow.
"I don't know," Jack muttered.
"So how do you say you found it again?" Gibbs asked.
"He was abandoned on the dock, I told yeh," Jack said.
"So what were you doing dangling him over side of the ship?" he asked warily.
"Enough questions!" Jack barked. "All you need to know is that the kid is coming with
us, savvy? And you will be sure to take care of him or you'll be walking the plank!"
Gibbs grumbled and stalked off.
"What's come over me?" Jack asked himself, staring at the little boy. "I can't even kill a
stupid kid!"
"Yo ho," the boy laughed. "Yo ho yo ho yo ho."
"I have a son," Jack sighed, shaking his head. "Which means," he said, pointing a finger
at the kid, "You'll be having to learn all the words to that song!"
A/N: First chapter good? Bad? Shall I continue? Please review with flames or
comments! Thank you! :D :D :D :D :D
"Ow!" Jack was jolted awake by a hard box across the head by something incredibly
useful for hitting awake; obviously. Sitting up abruptly to see his attacker, he was
astonished to see that the weapon was an empty beer bottle, and attached to it was an
extremely angry hooker, who was babbling incoherently at the top of her voice.
"-and-you-never-came-back-when-you-said-all-those-nice-things-to-me-and-I-thought-I-h
ad-changed-or-something-but-no-you-had-to-go-and-run-off-before-I-even-got-my-fare-a
nd-what-was-I-supposed-to-do-without-any-money-you-twisted-son-of-a-bitch-I-barely-h
ave-enough-for-food-but-that-doesn't-stop-you-from-"
"Can't a man get some bloody sleep his only night back in Tortuga!? Jesus Christ,
Scarlet!" Jack bellowed over the hooker, his head throbbing.
"Have you even listened to a word I've said!?" Scarlet fumed, panting and out of breath.
"Of course not; forgive me for being confused!" Jack replied haughtily. "What are you
doing here, anyway? Shouldn't you be busy at work or something?" Then he propped
himself up on his elbows and twisted his mustache about. His voice became calm and
sensual. "Unless you have come back because you just couldn't resist me." He gave an
irresistible smile.
Scarlet's eyes seemed about to pop out of her head. "Bastard!" she shrieked, "Maybe this
is something you can understand!" She bent down; Jack, expecting her to come up with
some sort of an extremely painful murderous weapon, prepared for the worst. But what
she came up with, made him fall out of bed.
"A - a - a baby!?" Jack stuttered. The kid cried. "But - what do you want me to do with
it!?" he said, eyeing the boy's fuzzy bit of black hair and dirty clothes.
"It's yours," Scarlet grumbled. "Keep it."
"I most certainly will NOT!" Jack protested. "I can't go around taking babies from every
hooker that happens to get pregnant - how do you even know it's mine!?"
"Yo ho," the kid gurgled. "Yo ho yo ho yo ho."
Jack blinked. Scarlet stared.
"That doesn't prove a thing," Jack said.
"Rrrum, savveeee?" the boy squealed.
There was more blinking and staring.
"I won't take it," Jack said simply. "And you can't make me."
"You have to take it! I can't keep it! What with you not even paying me for it! I've been
keeping it for two years and it's been the worst nightmare ever! No business, haven't
eaten a meal for weeks... I can't have a kid!" Scarlet shouted.
"I can't have a kid, either! I'm a captain of a bloody pirate ship, and I have no time to
take care of pip-squeak brats!" Jack shouted back.
"Well, you know what?" Scarlet said dangerously. "It's yours now." And she dropped
the gurgling boy on the bed and left, slamming the door.
"I'll kill it!" Jack bellowed after her. The door didn't open again.
"You're going straight to Davie Jones' Locker," Jack threatened, picking the kid up like a
football and hurrying from the room.
Ten minutes later...
"So what are you planning on doing with 'im, cap'n?" Gibbs asked, peeping over at the
little boy who was scarfing down bread below deck on the Black Pearl like there was no
tomorrow.
"I don't know," Jack muttered.
"So how do you say you found it again?" Gibbs asked.
"He was abandoned on the dock, I told yeh," Jack said.
"So what were you doing dangling him over side of the ship?" he asked warily.
"Enough questions!" Jack barked. "All you need to know is that the kid is coming with
us, savvy? And you will be sure to take care of him or you'll be walking the plank!"
Gibbs grumbled and stalked off.
"What's come over me?" Jack asked himself, staring at the little boy. "I can't even kill a
stupid kid!"
"Yo ho," the boy laughed. "Yo ho yo ho yo ho."
"I have a son," Jack sighed, shaking his head. "Which means," he said, pointing a finger
at the kid, "You'll be having to learn all the words to that song!"
A/N: First chapter good? Bad? Shall I continue? Please review with flames or
comments! Thank you! :D :D :D :D :D